Who here knows about getting short fiction published?
Or even just reads fiction magazines and has a good idea of the best ones?

I've got some short stories I flatter myself are ready for publication...but I have no idea where to send them to. I've had a cursory google, but there's no real comprehensive list of short fiction magazines, especially British ones, and no real way for me to compare them.

They're mostly sci-fi and horror. Anyone got any tips?
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 14:47, 82 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

let me read them and I'll tell you if they are worth publishing
or ask Chickenlady
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 14:48, Reply)

Fair enough.
Gaz me your email if you really want to read them. I'm gasping for actual feedback. My responses to date have been 'it made me sad' 'i'll read it in a bit' and 'it was too short'. Verbatim. GAH.

Also, how do I get in touch with Chickenlady i.e. how do I locate a specific user on this mess of a site?
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 15:32, Reply)

If you'd like another pair of eyes I heart reading
but I don't claim to be the Simon Cowell of the literary world *cough* Vipros *cough*
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 15:47, Reply)

shut it you vacuous bint

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 16:14, Reply)

Read the Author's Handbook for 2011
It will give all the details needed. And to be honest at the start of your career you can't afford to be picky re which magazine

/helpful

/nonhelpful fuck off Bert
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 14:50, Reply)

I'm not picky as such. Just totally clueless.

(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 15:06, Reply)

I'm being genuine
the author's handbook is a great buy. It lists every magazine that will accept unsolicited short stories and includes contact details, as well as a list of prizes for short story competitions in the UK in 2011. Buy it- £10 well spent
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 15:38, Reply)

Yeah it sounded like a solid tip. £8.54 on amazon.
Now I just need to find £7.31 from somewhere...sigh, I shouldn't have bought all those pointless "Christmas presents".
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 15:40, Reply)

Ask for it as a Christmas present
from a sibling perhaps
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 15:43, Reply)

There'll be a new question open in a few hours...

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 14:51, Reply)

POTHour

(TheColonel, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 14:57, Reply)

Chickenlady is the lady for info on this.
Boss Keloid is also starting out on his writing career.
( girlinthehole, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 14:52, Reply)

Talk to my band, we do all our own writing.

(TheColonel, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 14:57, Reply)

Man, do we! AND THEN SOME.
We do an 18-hour prog freakout that deals with the theme of pies, cake and Frubes – all refracted through the psychedelic prism of our mini-bar guitars.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 15:11, Reply)

Will there be ice skating dragons?

(Cave Duck, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 15:21, Reply)

Only in your miiiind, maaannn.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 15:23, Reply)

We will take you to a plateau above ice skating dragons

(TheColonel, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 15:23, Reply)

They'll be dragons and wizards and lords of the underworld and kings and queens and NOMbies. Lots and lots of Nombies.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 15:24, Reply)

I can't help but think
my original concept for 'Technicolour Dirty Protest' is somehow being perverted.

I am seriously considering LEAVING MY OWN BAND.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 15:26, Reply)

Be sure to sue them afterwards for daring to carry on using the name 'Technicolour Dirty Protest' in your absence.

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 15:27, Reply)

Look here Sonny Jim.
As facking manager I do the advising, all right.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 15:33, Reply)

And as parasitic hanger-on
I spread animosity and deceit amongst the band members for no other reason than that I couldn't think of anything better to do with my life, and it least if I can get all these cocking musicians out of the way then MONTY MIGHT BE ALL MINE.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 15:38, Reply)

My boy's available for a handsome price.
Gaz me for details.
fackin' bender
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 15:55, Reply)

We should do a side project which uses nothing but white noise and feedback
and samples of our own bowel movements.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 15:27, Reply)

You'd sound like The Velvet Underground

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 15:29, Reply)

But who would provide the gratingly tuneless yet inexplicably smug-sounding vocal style of Lou Reed?
Oh, wait a minute...
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 15:39, Reply)

'Dr Poo and the Turdis'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 15:31, Reply)

my mate used to be in a band called Walter Shortage and the Hose Pipe Band

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 16:15, Reply)

I despise myself for worklolling.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 16:18, Reply)

Ahem.
YOUR OWN band?!
(TheColonel, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 15:28, Reply)

I was there from the start, man.
The name comes from me, and I provided a key part of the original vision. YOU CAN'T REWRITE HISTORY, MAN. You 'Dave Gilmour' muthafucka.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 15:30, Reply)

That's it.
I'm gonna call the boys, Cornershop are coming back baby.
You just wait.
(TheColonel, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 15:34, Reply)

I've had a fucking BRIMFUL of your shit, YOU CUNT
*swings at thin air*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 15:37, Reply)

"Sleep on the left side keep your sword hand free"
You've got love songs that include combat advice.
(Cave Duck, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 15:39, Reply)

Post them on /qotw
Loads of people have been published from there because of their high quality hahahahahaha sorry I can't finish that.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 15:05, Reply)

Ironically, they have
(Just in FHM and Nuts, rather than any reputable short story periodical...)
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 15:07, Reply)

Ha. I'm not quite that daft.

(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 15:09, Reply)

Yes, collect everything together and set light to it
There's quite enough zombie shit around thank you very much
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 15:19, Reply)

NOM NOM NOM

(PsychoChomp, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 15:20, Reply)

Hahaha!

( girlinthehole, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 15:20, Reply)

Strike me. I actually agree with you on this one.
Zombies are overdone. I write about vampires and the pain of being immortal and loveless, and the fragile beauty of that one special mortal. I feel there's an under-exploited niche to be filled here.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 15:26, Reply)

this is actually why I stopped writing my book
fuck you, stephanie meyers
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 15:29, Reply)

write about werewo..oh wait
write about wizar...oh wait
write about people who work in the post office. That hasn't been done.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 15:35, Reply)

Er, Factotum by Bukowski is sort of Post Office related.

(Cave Duck, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 15:37, Reply)

And its popularity has swept the nation.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 15:41, Reply)

Postman Pat?

(Cave Duck, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 15:43, Reply)

touche Ducky

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 15:47, Reply)

clever kitty, always there for me
xx
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 15:38, Reply)

Terry Pratchett - Going Postal

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 15:59, Reply)

Oh god yes. Right in the eye socket.
Although I reserve that particular hate for Sergei Lukyanenko, author of the Night watch series. The really annoying part was that I also read them before I started writing mine, and it only sunk in five months in.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 15:37, Reply)

Apparently Tolkien was big muckers with CS Lewis and they'd "try out" their material on each other.
Tolkein had to explain who a new character was, when quizzed by Lewis during a reading. Reportedly Lewis responded to the explanation with an anguished "Not another fucking Goblin".

Your post made me think of this and I commend it to the board.
(Cave Duck, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 15:35, Reply)

I don't believe this
because I cannot imagine Lewis saying 'fuck'.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 15:38, Reply)

But, I heard it on Radio 4.

(Cave Duck, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 15:40, Reply)

he said frakking
/fuck you Battlestar Galactica
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 15:41, Reply)

Don't diss BSG

(PsychoChomp, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 15:44, Reply)

yeah or the frakkin cylos will come and get you.
Especially that Costa one, she's the shiznit.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 15:48, Reply)

FUCK YOU BITCH

(PsychoChomp, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 15:51, Reply)

hahaha
enjoying my delicious bait there are we chompy?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 15:53, Reply)

I have also heard this story
Or at least, a variation in which the outcry was
"Not another fucking elf story!"

I have also had a pint in the pub where these readings took place.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 15:41, Reply)

The Eagle and Child
great pub, nice barstaff, decent food, mite expensive. Student review 8 and a half Jaegerbombs
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 15:42, Reply)

That's the badger.
Not sure I trust this "student review" scheme though...has this been properly syndicated?
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 15:43, Reply)

It's just me
and my desiccated liver
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 15:44, Reply)

See, at least my ratings are put to a council vote
Once I have enough pink elephants for quorum.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 15:46, Reply)

My liver gets a vote
but neither I nor it ever choose to abstain
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 15:48, Reply)

That would make better sense
Speaking as a PratchettDwarf cuntstain, I thought 'hold on, Tolkein's goblins are not really individual characters. Why would he be introducing 'another' one, to the annoyance of Lewis?'

*adjusts Simpsons tie*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 15:46, Reply)

Unless, of course,
the reason his famous books focus so much on the plight of hobbits, and reduce the goblins to an anonymous horde, is because of the terrible slight he suffered at the acid tongue of a slightly intoxicated Lewis. Perhaps he decided from that evening on that people would be more receptive to hobbits than "another fucking goblin."
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 15:49, Reply)

And this pair have taped seams and are fully breathable.

(Cave Duck, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 15:53, Reply)

Vented gusset?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 15:53, Reply)

*slaps face*

(Cave Duck, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 15:55, Reply)

But......but........

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 15:57, Reply)

NOM NOM NOM!

(Bazongaloid, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 15:59, Reply)

You only go to pubs in the hope of another fucking gobblin'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 15:53, Reply)

I heard that Gollum
was actually based on CS Lewis. It was an attempt to reconcile the different facets of Lewis's changing spirituality- the reason why Gollum's loyalty wavers back and forth
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 15:54, Reply)

I heard people read too much into a childrens fantasy story

(Bazongaloid, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 15:55, Reply)

Well I heard it on Radio One
and that makes it true

(I may have made the whole thing up)
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 15:57, Reply)

Yer, I'll take that commendation
mum would be so proud
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 15:40, Reply)

Before you consider publishing you need to find out if it is any good.
Give copies to your friends...oh wait...Science Fiction? Sorry - please disregard.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 15:49, Reply)

I also write about lonely vampires, remember.

(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 16:31, Reply)

Press the open button on your PC's text reading and evaluation tray
place folded up text in tray and close, wait 10 years for analysis to complete.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 16:18, Reply)

has anyone said Lotus magazine, yet?
I think they publish short sci fi stories
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 17:31, Reply)

Seems to be all about the car...

(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 17:38, Reply)

shit
I meant Locus
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 9 Dec 2010, 18:02, Reply)