What's top of your christmas list?
Worst present ever?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 22:21, 110 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Worst present
Probably generic brand instant potato flakes from my mum, in the belief that it was what all students ate. Four boxes of it.
(Mrs Ballunatic counting calories, not votes., Sun 19 Dec 2010, 22:27, Reply)

Can't think of any for me.
But my brother once got a set of smellies. For women. Because my fuckwit of a soon to be former stepmother had it lying around the house.

My sister also once got something she'd given to same fuckwit soon to be former stepmother the year before.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 19 Dec 2010, 22:30, Reply)

As far as presents go, cancer's probably the worst.
I got unemployment and poverty for Christmas a few years ago, which wasn't much fun either.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 22:30, Reply)

My ex wife got cancer for her birthday.
No, really - she did.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 19 Dec 2010, 23:09, Reply)

who was
the thoughtful giver?
(Technical xtc - Furious Internet, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 23:14, Reply)

Certainly not me.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 19 Dec 2010, 23:18, Reply)

sorry DG
I was being flippant
(Technical xtc - Furious Internet, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 23:28, Reply)

I NOES RITE?
So was I. We'd been long since split up anyway.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 19 Dec 2010, 23:35, Reply)

No Christmas ideas
Worst present ever was when I was 12 or 13 and my siblings pretty much just bought me LOTR merchandise- Legolas posters and the like, since they thought I had a crush on him
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 22:30, Reply)

aragon was way cuter

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 22:41, Reply)

I just want the weather to be ok so the bf doesn't die on his way here next week.
Worst presents were the knocked off Barbies I got from my aunties.
I managed to enjoy them but that was because I was a grateful kid. I wasn't into Barbies so I didn't know the names of all the different ones, or which one it was cool to want that year. Me and my mum would have to look through Argos or go to the toy shop and look them up so we looked like we had a scoobie what we were on about.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 22:30, Reply)

I wasn't allowed Barbies as a kid
How long you got off for Christmas?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 22:32, Reply)

I said "Mum, why do they ring up and ask what BARBIE I want rather than what PRESENT I want?"
And she'd say, "Oh someone's probably selling them or they're fake. Just go along with it. Father Christmas will bring you what you really want if you're good."
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 22:41, Reply)

Oh, the lies that parents tell their kids
I'm still waiting for my pet triceratops...
(LongJohnBaldry, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 22:57, Reply)

The miniature ones only live about 5 years
having genetic researchers for parents made for pretty awesome, if occasionally scary, Christmases. And having to move and change names every few years.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 23:02, Reply)

You've got a bf as well a a fiancé?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 22:39, Reply)

Oh yeah.
He's called Jerome.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 22:41, Reply)

personally, I'd be happy if he didn't die this holiday season, too
I think we all know the girl's world story, so I'll forbear on that one...

D'you know, I have a feeling that girl's world is still in the back of my car somewhere... along with half the tableware from the wedding.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 19 Dec 2010, 23:48, Reply)

It just pains me that people feel obliged to get you shit you don't want.
They know you don't want it, but they think 'Hmm, I normally spend £20.00 on Jeff, and they buy something' - I'd be much happier if, rather than buying shit I don't want, need or will appreciate, we spend time having a proper catch-up in the New Year.

Gifts are fucking bent.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 22:41, Reply)

I got the fiancé gig tickets
but I'll get the bf a smoking jacket
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 22:45, Reply)

Reads....
*Tickets for the panto is early Feb when they're going cheap, and a dressing gown*
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 22:47, Reply)

It was Cast!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 23:13, Reply)

panto would be better

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 23:14, Reply)

Well, I guess that's alright, guess that's alright....

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 23:15, Reply)

:D

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 23:20, Reply)

I am the easiest person in the world to buy for.
And yet, my family sometimes don't have a clue, bless 'em.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 19 Dec 2010, 23:50, Reply)

because everyone I knows knows that I love Dr Who
(proper Dr Who, from The Olden Days) they feel the need to buy every piece of tat with the Dr Who (new, modern toss Dr Who) logo on it.

Just because I like the show doesn't mean I would like the 'cool facts about the Slitheen' book.

I now feel guilty for all the shit golf-related presents I bought my dad whenI was younger...
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 19 Dec 2010, 23:52, Reply)

I just got a flight control TARDIS for my 40th.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 0:02, Reply)

a couple of years ago
someone bought me a build your own tardis out of cardboard kit
the dr who annual
and a box set of dr who novels.

Not the Dr Who BBC missing adventure ones, you understand - no, the ones designed for the 9-13 market.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 0:08, Reply)

Ha ha!
I wish they still did the older-range books. Some of them were good.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 0:10, Reply)

yes, I miss those too
I had most of the BBC books (except those from 3, 7 & 8) and all the Missing Adventures.

Actually, I say 'had', but I still have them.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 0:13, Reply)

I only have a handful.
Couldn't really afford to buy them regularly.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 0:14, Reply)

they alternated every month between past dr and 8th dr
so I only had to buy one (almost) every other month.

I have a feeling I will be putting them on ebay next year though.

What really cost me all my money was the Big Finish audio adventures. The CDs are long gone, but I still have copies. must get round to puitting them on my ipod at some point...
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 0:16, Reply)

Again, I only have three.
But they are very good. More cost... *sigh*

My video collection is looking ripe for a flogging, unfortunately. I've whittled it down as DVDs have replaced certain episodes, but I still have around 50 left.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 0:19, Reply)

I just bought Tomb of the Cybermen for £3 in Morrisons
as it was a fucking classic.

Seemed a bit shit in retrospect, however. *sigh*

Remember Sunday mornings on UK Gold? Used to show a whole story every week. My Sundays whenI was single involved Dr Who, followed by Poirot, followed by Jeeves & Wooster. All accompanied by a whole box of frosted shreddies.

Good times, good times...
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 0:23, Reply)

Good story
let down by some shoddy production values. Much like Warriors of the Deep...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 0:31, Reply)

I am hoping to get the 11 doctors figure gift set for Christmas though.
I am a hopeless 9 year old trapped in a 40 year old's body.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 0:13, Reply)

It's not really anything to do with your post
But does anyone know what the second oldest pub in England is? Initially Google suggested The George Inn in Norton St Philip, but Wikipedia's list of notable public houses in England shows several older.

Also, if you do know or find out what it is, I need to know what the weather was like there on Oct 29, 2008.

THIS IS not OF NATIONAL IMPORTANCE.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 22:44, Reply)

it's in england in october
I'd got for drizzly and windy
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 22:46, Reply)

And you'd be wrong
It snowed in London for the first time in 70 years on that day, I just need to know what the weather was like elsewhere (wherever the pub is).

Actually this is the sort of thing that Yahoo! Answers might be better for.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 22:50, Reply)

curses
it was a good guess, though
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 22:58, Reply)

I think I'm getting an ice cream maker
which will probably languish unused like my breadmaker. Still though, it's a cool present.
Herpes is probably a really shit Christmas gift, I'd say.
(berk, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 22:45, Reply)

You want gifts that are easily won on any episode of 'Bullseye'
Innnn One!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 22:48, Reply)

Haha, wtf would I do with a speedboat?
Birmingham is really quite a distance from any body of water, canals excluded because I don't think you can really take a speedboat on them.
(berk, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 22:55, Reply)

And BULLY'S SPECIAL PRIZE!
It's a special fridge, that doesn't need checking!*

* Huge apologise if this this way, way, way, too early for this sort of jape
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 23:03, Reply)

*raises eyebrow questioningly*

(berk, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 23:10, Reply)

*Offers top-loading VHS Video Recorder instead*

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 23:16, Reply)

I'm sure we had one of those
When I was about 2 I posted a purple plastic pig in to it and broke it.
(berk, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 23:22, Reply)

We definitely did
it was actually more reliable than the front-loading one we bought later. Big and clunky but it got the job done. like me
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 23:24, Reply)

I was about 10 years old before we had our first Betamax VCR
I remember the days of just 3 channels, closedown (at night), and the test-card being part of the average day.

*Hankers after The Sullivans lunchtime*
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 23:26, Reply)

Oh look,Kittie's run off with his hat!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 23:38, Reply)

Those crazy Aussies.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 19 Dec 2010, 23:38, Reply)

I couldn't tell you anything about the show
Bar the previously mentioned 'hat pulling'.

Neither could I tell you anything about 'Take the High Road' or 'Crown Court' but I remember both being on.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 23:51, Reply)

The only thing I remember about the Sullivans
was that it was set during the war. Despite it being on every lunch time and my mum being an avid viewer.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 19 Dec 2010, 23:52, Reply)

I forgot about that smug, proud looking cunt.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=9G2nCQyUCNo&feature=related
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 23:59, Reply)

hahahahaha

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 23:45, Reply)

same here
the first time I saw a video player was in a TV shop when I was about 8 or 9 - it was showing Top of the Pops which confused me as it wasn't thursday. I demanded to be taken home to watch totp there and then
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 23:39, Reply)

It was nothing but witchcraft to the young.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 23:46, Reply)

Pun intended?

(LongJohnBaldry, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 22:55, Reply)

It wasn't
as I just had to re-read my post three times to see what the hell you were on about...
(berk, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 22:56, Reply)

Actually, I do have an answer to this
I believed that the worst present ever was "towels with my name on and an occasional table" from my dad, when I found out that my brother had got "towels with his name on and an occasional table" also. I felt it showed a complete lack of thought.

And yet... I'm still using those towels, they're awesome, and the occasional table has turned out to be a brilliant skinning up platform. So perhaps it's the best present I ever received after all.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 22:49, Reply)

What use is an occasional table?
Surely you want a table you can use ALL THE TIME....

I don't know why I bother
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 22:53, Reply)

there is a cool poem about this
www.youtube.com/watch?v=mXmX7qjHTYM
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 22:56, Reply)

Your definition of cool differers to mine.
I'd have said 'here is a poem about occasional tables'
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 23:02, Reply)

les barker is totally cool
I saw him a couple of years ago, he's funny
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 23:05, Reply)

One of my mates has an occasional table
occasionally its a table and occasionally it's the engine out of a Triumph Herald with a plank glued to the top.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 23:03, Reply)

It wasn't that it was a bad present.
I got a class bag/satchel off my dad a couple years ago. What did he get my brother? A 32 inch HD plasma screen tele.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 23:02, Reply)

Ouch.
Bags are good, things with plugs on are better.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 23:04, Reply)

I'm having the last laugh.
Just this second bought him socks for this year. Although I must admit they're ace for socks.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 23:06, Reply)

In the last few days
I have added thermal socks to my Amazon wishlist.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 23:11, Reply)

Yet again
I can see my breath in the air inside my flat. Thermal socks are not the way forwards, but electric blankets are.
(berk, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 23:14, Reply)

Army Surplus for all your wintery clothing needs.
Better quality than most 'branded' stuff and a fraction of the cost.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 23:17, Reply)

I found a site selling thermal Ralph Lauren socks on the cheap.
I've ordered seven pairs in various colours for £33 delivered, that's half the extended family sorted. Very happy.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 23:17, Reply)

I'm getting a computer off my parents this year
I am a totally spoilt brat.

Does mean I'll have a computer that doesn't randomly reboot itself all the time
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 23:06, Reply)

*Meh*
I'll be happy with a Terry's Chocolate Orange.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 23:17, Reply)

I don't usually get this treatment
but I think my dad felt sorry for me and my crappy 6 year old computer
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 23:19, Reply)

I made chocolate orange cake last christmas
it was epic.
(berk, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 23:19, Reply)

did you paint it?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 23:20, Reply)

As a terry's chocolate orange, do you mean?
No.
(berk, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 23:26, Reply)

nah
I just imagined you had some chocolate and applied paint, that would make chocolate orange
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 23:29, Reply)

Oh, i see
no, it was a chocolate torte thing with lots of booze and orange in it adapted from a Nigella recipe.
(berk, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 23:32, Reply)

nom

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 23:43, Reply)

I think a sponge cake
just painted up like a chocolate orange would be a bit of a let down
(Technical xtc - Furious Internet, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 23:33, Reply)

I've already had my present this year anyway.
My mum saw that I was struggling to pay for getting to Hamburg for the Europa League final in May and so she paid for my flights. I didn't really know what to say when she said she'd booked them, eternally grateful for it. The silly mare still wants to get me something though.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 23:10, Reply)

As a Bristol City fan who has been away to Craven Cottage on a Boxing Day
You certainly deserved the right to travel (assuming you're a life-longer!), so it was a wondeful gesture by your mother to get you that.

Maybe she knew that you'd have fuck-all chance of repeating the feat for a few more years?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 23:19, Reply)

Probably a combination of that and the fact I said I'd hang myself off Putney Bridge if I couldn't go.
And yeah, doing what we did and knowing it'll never happen again is an absolute killer. I can't describe how amazing watching your team around Europe is, a year ago yesterday I was in Switzerland eating fondue with the self proclaimed 'king of the Basel red light district' off my tits and watching Fulham beat Basel 3-2. I would do anything to be able to experience those trips again.

Stoke away next week though, that's pretty exciting...
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 23:26, Reply)

Ah, I remember European football well...

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 19 Dec 2010, 23:41, Reply)

I'd say our situation is like giving a kid a Playstation for Christmas and then taking it away on Boxing Day.
It's not fucking fair. People who support teams that are actually good and consistently in European competitions don't know how fucking lucky they are.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 23:45, Reply)

This is true.
E.g. Arsenal supporters moaning because their team hasn't won anything for five years? Go piss up a rope, fucksticks.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 19 Dec 2010, 23:46, Reply)

Liverpool supporters can fuck off as well.
Except my cousin, she's alright.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 19 Dec 2010, 23:53, Reply)

I know exactly where you're coming from Barry.
I've never felt more depressed than losing the Championship play-off final, I mean, on paper we were as good as Hull.

When you support a shit team, ANY success means so much more than to the supporters of clubs who expect it.

(My boxing day trip to Craven, was when Coleman was in charge, league one, Diddy David Hamilton was your half-time comparé).
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 23:49, Reply)

My home town team have drawn against Rangers in the Scottish Cup.
Could be interesting...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 19 Dec 2010, 23:51, Reply)

Who are your hometown team?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 23:56, Reply)

The mighty Berwick Rangers.
*weeps*
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 19 Dec 2010, 23:57, Reply)

Bloody hell
Berwick has a football team?
(berk, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 23:58, Reply)

Oh yeah.
Only team in England to play in the Scottish league, you know.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 0:00, Reply)

Were they not also at war (still) with Germany until 'fairly recently'
Owing to neither England or Scotland wanting them?

Or is that a urban myth?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 0:02, Reply)

I'm sure that was on QI recently
but I can't remember what the answer was. I think you may be right...
(berk, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 0:04, Reply)

So the answer is
'It might be an urban myth?'
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 0:05, Reply)

Russia.
And it was true on a technicality, something to do with the town having changed hands so often that it was named separately when England and Scotland were being referred to. Berwick got missed off one time, hence it was never formally included in the peace treaty.

*EDIT* en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Berwick-upon-Tweed#Relations_with_Russia
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 0:06, Reply)

I've never been to Berwick.
It is supposed to be lovely.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 0:08, Reply)

It is one of the nicest towns in the UK to arrive in by train.
From the south, anyway. The town itself is very pretty, but having left 20 odd years ago I have no desire to ever live there again.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 20 Dec 2010, 0:12, Reply)

I've only ever been through on the train
but it did look very pretty.
(berk, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 0:12, Reply)

It evokes 'Miss Marple' type thoughts in my head.
I'm probably miles away from the mark though.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 0:16, Reply)

Miss Marple?
Do you mean Miss Jean Brodie? Marple was set in Kent somewhere, wasn't it?
(berk, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 0:20, Reply)

Coleman only managed us in the Premiership. Keegan you mean?
And Diddy still does the announcements. Only at Fulham would we hire the campest man in the world to gee up the crowd.

And I still can't bare to think about the final in May. I've never seen the highlights, only a photo of the Channel Five coverage where you can clearly see my 'Nigerian Whites' flag hanging proudly behind the goal. Great days.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 23:57, Reply)

You're right.
Coleman was a player at the time (signed from Blackburn).

It was Keegan who was in charge.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Dec 2010, 0:07, Reply)

Top of the list?
One of these. I know they're the older version, but IMO they're better than the new ones. The price tag is a bit steep though - even secondhand it would be ~£250 for the size I want.

Actually getting? A satnav for my car because of the sheer number of times I've got lost this year i.e. at least twice on any journey over 50 miles.
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 23:24, Reply)

www.scrubboards.co.uk/home
(Technical xtc - Furious Internet, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 23:49, Reply)

Top of my list
For the fecking snow to feck off and the buses and trains start to run again so i can get to my family.

Worst present ever, the tacky cheap ornament my ex MIL got me while my ex's mistress got something fancy from her
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Sun 19 Dec 2010, 23:57, Reply)