Gnah', pete's sake.
I got dressed in the dark today, and then when I went out to work it was dark, and now I'm in the office and it's light, and my white hoodie is really dirty. Like, really really dirty. I didn't realise because the stains on it are subtal yellow coloured (probably cooking related oil or something).

It's worst around the ends of my sleaves so I've rolled them up a bit. But i fucking hate being so schlocky, I _knew_ I should have put on a shirt or something.

I think i'm going to find myself a place to get a new jumper at lunch and hope nobody notices... and if anyone says anything I'll just say "I was to hot in my hoodie, but didn't have anything on under it".

/// EDIT /// GOOGLE IS MOCKING ME !
www.google.co.uk/search?sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8&q=clothing+shop+farringdon
First result is a pizza place.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 10:04, 122 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

You could rub pizza all over your hoody to cover the smaller yellow stains.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 10:11, Reply)

oh Roota, it's a crime against huMANity that you've been taken off the shelf.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 10:28, Reply)

Is it Gonz?
I think it's good for society, same as it was good for society the day I failed my driving test.
I'm best off the streets.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 10:29, Reply)

There are reasons some people shouldn't move out from their parents.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 10:14, Reply)

To be fair, if I could get all my washing done, then I'd be more than happy.... It's really starting to mount up.
I might just put a shitload of clothes in black sacks, send it down to the dry cleaners across the road, give them whatever it takes to sort it out and...well... get it all done.

Fuck it, in fact, I'm going to do that.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 10:27, Reply)

do it
laundrettes aren't the horrible places that soaps would have us believe. They are really quite useful and not terrible value.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 10:37, Reply)

At uni the one near me was cheap as.
Unfortunatly I don't have one near me.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 10:48, Reply)

the closest one to me
dry cleaned my nice three piece suit for £8, which was excellent. Particularly as they did it that day
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 11:05, Reply)

My drycleaner charges a tenner a dress
call me cheap but I won't pay that
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 11:25, Reply)

I have never used one.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 11:24, Reply)

Me neither.
In fact Friday was the first time I've washed any of my clothes since the summer. That's not too clever mind.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 11:31, Reply)

The worst clothing mishap I've had at work was discovering that I'd put my boxer shorts on back to front.
It led to some hopping around at the urinal as I was fairly desperate to "go", but at least nobody else was "privvy" to it.
(Cave Duck, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 10:15, Reply)

Cubicals all the way !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 10:28, Reply)

I hate it when a previously unseen blemish on clothes makes itself apparent
more importantly though, while two presents I have bought have just been delivered, the one I ordered first, from Firebox, still hasn't fucking arrived. It should have been here long before the snow.

Stupid fucking Royal Mail.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 10:31, Reply)

I'm not saying that the Royal Mail are a bunch of thieving cunts
but the thieving cunts probably stole it
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 10:33, Reply)

you are probably right
to be honest, I'm surprised they didn't steal the women's undies. The fucking perverts.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 10:36, Reply)

I have had so many parcels go missing/damaged
that I only shop from online retailers that have an excellent returns policy (amazon).

I try to avoid marketplace sellers for anything other than cheap 2nd hand books.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 10:41, Reply)

I've never had any problems before
and the main thing I'm waiting for is from Firebox
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 10:53, Reply)

The roads are a mess.
It might not be their fault.
They are cunts though.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 10:34, Reply)

it should have been here a week ago

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 10:34, Reply)

I got my Firebox order sent to work
It's a ballsy postal worker who steals post from a forensics company.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 10:37, Reply)

me too, that's the trouble
if I don't get it today or tomorrow I probably won't be able to get it until the 7th of January...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 10:53, Reply)

In that case, set fire to the cunts

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 10:40, Reply)

Firebox always take ages to send stuff out in my experience
Usually worth it when it arrives though.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 10:43, Reply)

You're getting mixed up with Firecrotch

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 10:43, Reply)

No-one wants Firecrotch
Unless you're into figging.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 10:44, Reply)

Feeeeelthy boy. I always knew you were a bit alternative, but this really is the limit...
Stuffing helpless figs up your rectum and setting light to them really is no way to meet a nice girl. Won't someone please think of the figs?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 10:47, Reply)

The figs sign waivers first, it's all kosher

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 10:49, Reply)

You got kosher figs? Oooooh, check you out!

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 10:54, Reply)

Nah, they have exemplary customer service. My firetassled crotchless' have always been bang on time

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 10:45, Reply)

bang
*Beavises*
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 10:46, Reply)

Clit bang

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 10:48, Reply)

I haven't called anyone a clit-banger for ages
I've missed you round these parts jsbx.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 10:52, Reply)

I've missed her around these parts too
*gesticulates*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 10:53, Reply)

nice
*fist bumps*
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 10:54, Reply)

*smiles smugly and nods*
*reciprocates fist bump*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 10:56, Reply)

*gets magnifying glass*
Damn right you missed me, I can't even bloody see it!
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 11:00, Reply)

I sent it to the garage for repairs and an oil change
This weather plays havoc on it.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 11:02, Reply)

Detachable penis
That would account for so much. Steampunk cock
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 11:10, Reply)

Having to shovel the coal in is an added bonus

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 11:13, Reply)

scuttle... poker... steam pressure... train whistle... copper bottom... pressure vessel...
can't decide...

*brain melts*
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 11:20, Reply)

Stop thinking about my cock.

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 11:22, Reply)

You've got a copper bottomed cock?
I mean, I know you're alternative and you like your body mods and whatnot...but isn't that going a bit far?
(berk, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 11:24, Reply)

Flesh is inefficient
I'm like Tetsuo
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 11:25, Reply)

Hopefully less pyschotic

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 11:26, Reply)

I like to think so
I mean, you both slept in the same room as me and weren't woken by the sound of a powerdrill were you?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 11:27, Reply)

Oh, so that's what it was...
I thought it was just you snoring.
(berk, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 11:29, Reply)

BANG and the clit is gone.
Aww bless ya. I miss being here sometimes, but a short slap upside the head usually sorts that out ,) how's the tigmeister?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 10:59, Reply)

He's warm.
Fat and warm. Et le Gizmond?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 11:00, Reply)

Aww bless him :)
Giz had a lump come up on his chin at the weekend which burst last night. On my hand. Because I was poking it :( never eat dinner and poke lumps people, it can never amount to anything good.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 11:03, Reply)

you just can't get enough of being covered in slime can you?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 11:07, Reply)

Oh I just love it. So so much.

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 11:12, Reply)

I thought as much

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 11:14, Reply)

I have been known to pick at Tigs
That's what being a parent is about
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 11:13, Reply)

alright there?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 10:44, Reply)

Alright love?

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 10:53, Reply)

Good thanks
how have you been?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 10:57, Reply)

Not bad m'love, how are you doing?

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 11:02, Reply)

Drinking brandy and hot chocolate
for a good start to the day. How's the work going?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 11:05, Reply)

It's not even midday yet. Bloody students!
Good thanks, not much going on today though.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 11:08, Reply)

Welcome back to the internet!
How's tricks?
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 11:21, Reply)

Is that the Calvin Klein's?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 10:44, Reply)

yep
went and checked out the benefit stuff in boots the other day so I can recognise a fake when mine arrives
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 10:46, Reply)

decided not to collect then?
And well done on that. Hope you looked at the brushes in particular :)
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 10:58, Reply)

apparently they have moved to Plymouth
whether that is true or a "this is fake and I don't want to see you in person" thing I don't know

I did look at the brushes, and the overall quality was really quite good, so should hopefully be able to spot a fake. There's useful advice online about spotting fake benefit stuff too.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 11:00, Reply)

There's a benefit shop in my mum's hometown. I need to befriend the orange freaks that work there to get massive discounts

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 11:06, Reply)

I had to play a dangerous game in Boots when I was researching
I didn't want to be accosted by the clown-faced women
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 11:11, Reply)

They scare me a little
the one in my local Debenhams alarms me because she can't actually move her face. I wait till they're doing 10 or 20% off before I buy Benefit stuff
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 11:12, Reply)

Oh they're terrifying alright, but the wares that they pimp are that good that I put up with their inane chatter long enough to try stuff and get the hell out.
I miss sephora :(
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 11:15, Reply)

this is true
I do love the Flawless stuff
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 11:23, Reply)

wotcha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 11:32, Reply)

Alright Monty?

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 11:43, Reply)

Apart from the pathological hatred of anything popular you mean?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 21 Dec 2010, 11:45, Reply)

That's unfair - I don't hate you, do I?

Actually, hang on....yeah ok fair enough.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 11:47, Reply)

Not as far as I am aware, no.
You cunt.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 21 Dec 2010, 11:49, Reply)

*beams with pride at own nasty gibe*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 11:50, Reply)

I hope you accidentally snort some Vim.
*shows age*

Can you still get Vim?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 21 Dec 2010, 11:53, Reply)

It's in the cleaning aisle next to the Vigour.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 11:54, Reply)

Pfft.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 21 Dec 2010, 11:55, Reply)

Also, I'm not a 'thing'.
You monster.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 21 Dec 2010, 12:22, Reply)

Feeling somewhat 'delicate' but generally OK about life.
But enough about my glitzy glamorous existence in the glare of the spotlight - HOW ARE YOU?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 11:45, Reply)

I'm good thanks, exams are finally over, so I'm at a bit of a loose end until my results come out in january.
It's been so long since I've had evenings to myself without having to study that I don't really know what to do with myself.

Edit: we should do tayyabs in january
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 11:54, Reply)

You missed yesterday's discussion on vajazzling, bex.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 21 Dec 2010, 11:55, Reply)

Oh man, I feel so unfulfilled!

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 12:21, Reply)

It was a conversation of sparkling wit and repartee.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 21 Dec 2010, 12:23, Reply)

w cl
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 13:45, Reply)

That too.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 21 Dec 2010, 14:28, Reply)

It shall occur.
Al's been whinging to me about it, in that fat, annoying way he does, so I shall get it organised just to shut him up as much as anything else.

I propose a weekend so people can make bigger idiots of themselves.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 12:01, Reply)

Yeah, pick a Friday or Saturday so I can come.

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 12:04, Reply)

^this

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 12:04, Reply)

I will look at my childcare schedule
and propose a couple of dates. You and I shall go on the fucking rampage, young fellow-me-lad.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 12:05, Reply)

cunts
all of you
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 12:07, Reply)

would a weekday be better for you?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 12:08, Reply)

yeah, because then fewer other people could go

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 12:09, Reply)

I can make any day except sundays
if that changes your minds.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 12:10, Reply)

considering I can't go for the foreseeable future
I don't really care
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 12:12, Reply)

considering you can't go for the foreseeable future
I don't really care
(PsychoChomp, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 12:18, Reply)

Fuck yes we shall

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 12:09, Reply)

Not the weekend of the 22nd please for I shall be a shutin then

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 12:15, Reply)

The Urban Decay stand in my local Debenhams
is staffed by a bloke who is even more orange and fake be-browed than the women. He's a lovely chap but he's more camp than a field of pink tents.
(berk, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 11:19, Reply)

The Post Office and all parcel carriers
take on extra staff at this time of year (obviously) – this means that a fair proportion of their delivery staff will, no matter how well or badly they do their jobs, be out of work in a few days. They have no incentive bar their own self-imposed morals (if they have any) to not rob every fucking parcel they can.

/runs home shopping business
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 11:27, Reply)

this is an excellent argument for booby-traps

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 11:30, Reply)

like a mousetrap in between them?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 11:50, Reply)

*rolls eyes*
I was thinking more like anthrax in the outer packaging
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 11:53, Reply)

Ignore him, he's just a randy little yokel.
They all get like that after a few scrumpys, I understand.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 11:55, Reply)

your breasts have outer packaging?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 12:00, Reply)

Breasts!

( Kroney, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 12:01, Reply)

*begrudging chuckle*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 12:03, Reply)

I do wear generally more than just a bra

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 12:04, Reply)

I do not approve of this behaviour.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 12:04, Reply)

Snow boots in this weather are necessary.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 12:05, Reply)

Well after my third ASBO
I was warned
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 12:21, Reply)

Anti Social Breast Order?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 21 Dec 2010, 12:24, Reply)

Precisely
I was bra'd over to keep the peace by the magistrate :(
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 12:26, Reply)

I bet he wanted to personally give your breasts a restraining order

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 12:28, Reply)

I bet he weighed up the situation.
"whey heeeey"
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 21 Dec 2010, 12:34, Reply)

pants?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 12:05, Reply)

Never mind all that Gonz.
What the fuck have you done with Badger?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 21 Dec 2010, 10:44, Reply)

Guv

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 10:45, Reply)

Gary.
Nicked all your Christmas pressies yet?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 21 Dec 2010, 10:48, Reply)

Got a couple more to nick
John Lewis. Vigilance is paramount in there.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 21 Dec 2010, 10:52, Reply)

*taps nose*
I hear ya.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 21 Dec 2010, 10:53, Reply)