Lunch and Nemo stapler thread
What are you eating?
What have you done during what has come to be known in my place of work as Craft Week?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:27, 116 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Dog shit sandwich.
Worked from home all week because of the fucking snow.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:28, Reply)

or an
from at

+ Snow makes me so horny

EDITTED FOR LESS SPAZ
(Bazongaloid, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:30, Reply)

You're good at these

(PsychoChomp, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:32, Reply)

Well done

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:32, Reply)

Ham, cheese and pickle toastie

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:30, Reply)

You like weird food.

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:38, Reply)

You're a veggie, everything is weird to you
And Branston Pickle is godly.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:39, Reply)

I like pickle
But in a toastie? You sick fucker.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:40, Reply)

It's wonderful, don't knock it til you try it.
At least it would be if my boss had actually gone to Tesco. Halfway there, he changed his mind, and got a McDonalds instead. Now I only have ham and cheese, how dull.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:44, Reply)

Try telling the French that
They love that shit.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:48, Reply)

They're not eating tesco value cheese and ham

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:52, Reply)

Maybe if you said it in French, they would taste better?

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:55, Reply)

fromage et jambon valeur Tesco?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 13:08, Reply)

Something along those lines

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 22 Dec 2010, 13:13, Reply)

Behold

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:30, Reply)

What is that supposed to be?
And don't say 'Nemo'
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:32, Reply)

I will cut you!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:33, Reply)

I've made a halibut look like a regular stapler. I'll post a picture once I've cleared some desk space.

(Cave Duck, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:35, Reply)

Hurry

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:38, Reply)

I've made a coca cola can look like Dr pepper using just stationary.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:39, Reply)

Post it
and we can give it gold stars.
Craft.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:40, Reply)

www.b3tards.com/u/bd1b96752d74d6c46c1a/imag0054.jpg
(PsychoChomp, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:44, Reply)

there is the magic of Craft right there
I mean, it's occupied you on a boring day, it's shown you the limitless possibilities when you use craft materials and your imagination.
I can't praise this enough. I think we should start a craft circle.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:46, Reply)

It looks like the love child of nemo and alien.
I like it.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:55, Reply)

FOOD THREADS ARE FOR FAT PEOPLE!
FLEE, FATTIES!
DO NOT BOND TO FAT CULTURE!
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:31, Reply)

Especially when there's a perfectly serviceable MASSIVE DRUGS thread below,
right?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:32, Reply)

Ugly people.. All over the internet.
I really think I can cure them of loneliness.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:33, Reply)

Doubles.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:39, Reply)

FFs I'm at work
link it.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:40, Reply)

I'm not fat.
Stop talking about food.

We've all got issues with something or other.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:42, Reply)

Hitler's Internet.
Right here.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:42, Reply)

Don't they have the "Hide" feature on here??
This really is the arse-end of b3ta.
Nobody cares for this place, I tell you... You really should throw your biggest moaners at the establishment over this.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:51, Reply)

no they don't.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:53, Reply)

Heh..
It really is shit.
No offence.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:53, Reply)

Link it or delete it
have you got so bad at getting people annoyed you have to embed borderline NSFW pictures at lunchtime.
Stop being shit.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:52, Reply)

Calm down.
Getting annoyed out loud over nothing, right now.
You'd only regret taking it all too seriously at the end of the day.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:54, Reply)

You do realise this is why Baldmonkey is no longer allowed on QOTW?

(Bazongaloid, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:55, Reply)

Because you all got pretend upset at everything as a group?
Poor Baldman..
I did not realise it was this serious.

You should totally claim that I'm one of Baldmonkey's other accounts while you're at it.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:58, Reply)

It was gonz and SSG and me who complained.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 13:11, Reply)

Really?
..Really? None of this lot ever complained about Baldmonkey? You reckon?
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 22 Dec 2010, 13:15, Reply)

Yep ask cr3, that's what happened.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 13:19, Reply)

So, nobody has ever gotten angry at Baldmonkey on QOTW, asides you three?

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 22 Dec 2010, 13:20, Reply)

Wasn't worth the effort

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 13:24, Reply)

You can be as incredulous as you like
but pretty much everyone on this board couldn't be bothered to take the internet seriously enough to complain. Mainly they were worried about living up their reputation.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 13:24, Reply)

So, at last count there's now three of you claiming nobody on here ever got upset at Baldmonkey, and told on him like upset schoolchildren?

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 22 Dec 2010, 13:26, Reply)

I didn't claim anything of the sort

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 13:29, Reply)

Didn't count you..
Don't worry.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 22 Dec 2010, 13:33, Reply)

that's certainly a relief
I was greatly concerned for a moment
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 13:37, Reply)

aside from the incident which got him banned from on /OT
I don't really remember ever seeing him in action on here much.

or on /QOTW for that matter
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 13:25, Reply)

What did he do?
I can only assume it was a hoot.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 22 Dec 2010, 13:26, Reply)

Posted pictures of japenese squid porn
and then I think there was a picture of someone shitting in a bucket, or something similar.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 13:27, Reply)

So..
When you say:
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1016446

You mean:
"You do realise this is a tiny, tiny bit like the reason why Baldmonkey is no longer allowed on QOTW?"
Right?

I'm sure you didn't make the remark initially as any form of threat. But it's still a bit of a stretch making these two incidents stick.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 22 Dec 2010, 13:31, Reply)

I think it was posting massive pictures of japanese girls fellating an octopus that did it

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 13:28, Reply)

Hehe..
Classic Baldmonkey.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 22 Dec 2010, 13:32, Reply)

honestly haven't seen enough of him to know if it is or not

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 13:34, Reply)

I'm pretty sure this is one of Baldbmonkey's other accounts

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 13:12, Reply)

Yeah.
Carry on.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 22 Dec 2010, 13:08, Reply)

because he posted perfectly SFW pictures?
seems a bit off.
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 15:44, Reply)

Jesus...
That just makes me think this...
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:40, Reply)

Hey! I'm trying to look like i'm working here
kind of hard with a photo of your mum splashed over the board
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:41, Reply)

Have you had my Mum, per chance?

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:43, Reply)

Of course not
everyone on the internet is a spotty virgin
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:45, Reply)

BAM!
I'll get blamed for that.
:(
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:47, Reply)

tedious repetitive post is tedious and repetitive

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:42, Reply)

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:43, Reply)

You set 'em up
etc.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:45, Reply)

It's almost as if there's a script that upset people read from, when on the internet.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:48, Reply)

It's quite uncanny, I agree.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:55, Reply)

I'm going to have a couple of bottles of Peroni for lunch.
I woke with a headache that shows no sign of vanishing, so I'll kill it Italian lager that has probably been brewed under licience in the UK.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:31, Reply)

Good start to the day
On friday, I had to pay £3.60 for a bottle of Peroni, I nearly cried.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:32, Reply)

+ in the Midlands

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:34, Reply)

+ out of coal dust & canal water

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:39, Reply)

I'm 'working from home'....
...lunch is sloe gin, dolmathes, and a large spliff using weed from the 600 plants I bought for a 'monkey' from a paranoid cockney twat.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:32, Reply)

For lunch
I shall have sherry, because there's no food in the house and I refuse to go to the shop. Plus, I actually ate breakfast this morning.

I baked a cake yesterday. I have been told it was amazing.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:36, Reply)

'Craft week'
Is that another way of saying up on blocks / riding the cotton pony?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:38, Reply)

No
It's when there's litle to do but repair books and put eyes on the shredder with a speech bubble saying 'Om Nom Nom'.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:39, Reply)

It so should be though.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:43, Reply)

Maybe from now on it will be...

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:46, Reply)

I have chilli con carne
this week I have done not that much but felt quite busy - mostly just lab admin things because I finish tomorrow and don't come back til the 5th, huzzah!
(berk, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:40, Reply)

Nothing, I meant to pick up a Special K bar before I went out but forgot.
I'm on the DLR to an ad agency to see if I fancy working there. I hope I do so I can sack uni off.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:41, Reply)

Keep dossing at uni
You'll have to get a job soon enough
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:43, Reply)

I'll stay if they let me switch course.
But it doesn't look likely. Jodie's moving to London next month, if I nab this I may be living with her in Bethnal Green.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:51, Reply)

Don't move in with Jodie either
You never listen to me do you
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:56, Reply)

Stop trying to stop him having sex Roota, just because you're not allowed to.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:57, Reply)

Oi, I have loads!
I'm always having all of the sex.
This girl will break his heart and if he lives with her, whilst he might get to have sex with her, he will also often have to bury his head beneath the covers as she has sex other men
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 13:02, Reply)

He probably stole the covers

(Bazongaloid, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 13:03, Reply)

My plan is.
She's from Newcaste and a girl, like Cheryl Cole, so she must be racist. Then when she comes down here she'll be terrified of all the various foreigners and chocolate men, and then that's when I'll swoop in.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 13:00, Reply)

+ and nick her handbag

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 13:04, Reply)

It's like, you just get me.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 13:09, Reply)

It's also like you don't get how commas work.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 13:10, Reply)

I do I was just being liberal with my use of them.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 13:13, Reply)

Our normal coffee lounge lady is off ill
So another member of staff has made the sandwiches. Fair play to them for taking on the challenge, just a shame that the sandwiches are horrible. Yesterday's Thai Chicken had no flavour at all, and today's Hoi Sin Duck tasted like gone-off lettuce.
SADFACE
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:44, Reply)

:((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIICHINZILLA!

(Bazongaloid, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:47, Reply)

In my nana's day, chinny people got called Chinnyfergoozgogs

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:48, Reply)

You're substituting the word "chinny" for the word "black" aren't you.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:51, Reply)

No
but singing africans were referred to as walla-woolas.
We told her in 1989 that this must end.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:53, Reply)

*cracks knuckles*

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:50, Reply)

ONE FIST OF CANCER AND THE OTHER OF AIDS!
If the right one don't get ya, then then other one will!
(Bazongaloid, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:52, Reply)

Which will it be?
Or maybe I'll Hadouken you for a hefty bout of CANCERAIDS.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:54, Reply)

If only it were possible to make your own sandwiches
but alas, all knowledge of this complex art is jealously hoarded by the Sandwich Guild.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 13:14, Reply)

Craft Week?
I like "The Model" and "Trans Europe Express"
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:44, Reply)

*grins*

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:51, Reply)

If you play Trans-Europe-Express at x2 speed it sounds a bit like the theme-tune to Airwolf
especially if you're a bit stoned
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 12:54, Reply)

When stoned, my dishwasher sounds like...
...the opening bit (before the beats kick in) of LCD Soundsystem's 'Losing My Edge'.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 13:02, Reply)

I have crafted a frankly superb bat-thing out of a small cardboard box.
Unfortunately my luddite phone will not allow me to produce a picture for you, so you will just have to take my word that it's brilliant.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 13:06, Reply)

By bat-thing, do you mean Bat Cave?
Please say you do.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 22 Dec 2010, 13:08, Reply)

That's the best name for a vagina ever.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 13:09, Reply)

Hahaha
That is so wrong.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 22 Dec 2010, 13:12, Reply)

yes it is
it's a shit name for a vagina
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 13:14, Reply)

That's what I meant
There are much funnier ones.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 22 Dec 2010, 13:14, Reply)

Cocktrough, axewound etc

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 13:15, Reply)

Hairy axe wound?
Clunge?
Salmon Canyon?
Tuna Canoe?
Wizards Sleeve?
Sandpit?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 13:16, Reply)

Like this?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 13:13, Reply)

Bought lots of nice underwear
Failed to unpack or revise.
Been to the pub.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 13:07, Reply)

4 slices of pizza left from last night's
"Buy one get one half price" offer - 2 slices from each. Plus garlic dip. OM NOM NOM.

I managed to park my frontwheel drive car pointing downhill into thick snow last night, couldn't reverse out. I figured I'd leave it until I needed to leave, and when I came back there was some nearby carpet - after 12 or 13 attempts I got far enough out to gain traction and was able to get clear.

I felt like a winner, I can tell you.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 13:08, Reply)

I had greek pizza for breakfast. om nom.
I have done some reading.
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 22 Dec 2010, 13:11, Reply)