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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Holidaying alone is for sex tourists and widows.
Take a b3tan on holiday. Who would you take and where would you take them?
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 17:55, 150 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
*anal sex joke*

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 17:57, Reply)
Two whole minutes, well done.

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 17:57, Reply)
There was an inevitibility to it
that would have grown and grown until Psychochomp made the joke.

I'm just removing that tediousness from your thread. Thank me later.
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 17:58, Reply)
Thanks for leaving all the other tediousness.

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:02, Reply)
ha
i like it when you are bitchy.

except when you aim at me like below, clearly. :(
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:18, Reply)
I'm not bitchy :(
I'm playful.
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:20, Reply)
you say potato
i say potato
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:21, Reply)
like a kittin
with a half-dead mouse
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:21, Reply)
EXACTLY

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:23, Reply)
I would take baldmonkey to the folsom street fair
then just hang back and watch.
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 17:58, Reply)
Edmund
I'd let him take me to the Tundra of my soul.
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 17:59, Reply)
Lampito.
To my bedroom.
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:00, Reply)
She's punchy.

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:01, Reply)

www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=punchy&defid=1654288
??
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:12, Reply)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Punch_and_Judy
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:14, Reply)
so she's a bit creepy then?

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:16, Reply)
I've not seen a Punch and Judy show in (probably) 30years.
They scared the life out of me as a child.
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:18, Reply)
but they had a moral
if you batter your wife, you'll end up being eaten by a crocodile who will also eat your sausages
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:19, Reply)
That's the way to do it!

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:22, Reply)
No, I punch people.

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:22, Reply)
Why do you have a punchy reputation?

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:24, Reply)
BECAUSE I PUNCH PEOPLE

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:28, Reply)
Why?

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:29, Reply)
for asking silly questions, presumably

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:36, Reply)
I'm a terrible drunk.
Monty because he was facetious, Crow to prove a point, Chompy because I had been threatening to for ages, and poor Wookiee. Poor, poor Wookiee.
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:37, Reply)
Can't you just cop off with a random or get all tearful when you're drunk?
It'll be easier.
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:42, Reply)
I do both often too.

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:45, Reply)
Well please let me take the opportunity to apologise for saying that
Your tits, when covered in blue tape as part of your Stingray outfit, reminded me of the rapper Nelly.

*ducks and weaves*
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:53, Reply)
That's fine. That's a GOOD THING.

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:58, Reply)
Derrty?

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 19:00, Reply)
I like it rough.

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:26, Reply)
As do I.

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:28, Reply)
Your mum
to Dunstable
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:01, Reply)
Oh nice, I think she'd quite li...
Hey!
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:02, Reply)
I don't know who I'd take.
But I'm pretty fucking sure the only safe way of transporting a b3ta collective is on a Sunshine Bus.

*Installs wipers on the insides*
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:01, Reply)
This.

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:03, Reply)
ROAD TRIP!

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:15, Reply)
SHOTGUN

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:15, Reply)
i wanna be on the back seat!

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:16, Reply)
We'll I'll drive.
It'll mean I'm the only non-mong on the trip then.
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:17, Reply)
yes of course Jeff
we'll add a little plastic steering wheel on the back of the seat in front of you so it's like you're driving
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:18, Reply)
I've just laughed far far too much at that.

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:19, Reply)
JMG
Ann Widdecombe's house.

I just think it would be amusing.
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:02, Reply)
Nothing wrong with holidays alone
I can't just pick one b3tan :(
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:05, Reply)
I was being controversial for the sake of it, mainly to try and get a rise out of swipey.
CHOOSE!
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:06, Reply)
maybe instead the question should have been
why you wanted to get a rise out of me.

why do you feel like that noel, why, why, why?
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:17, Reply)
because you get a rise out of him
if you know what I mean
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:20, Reply)
i thought this might be the case
sigh, go on then noel, gaz us an edmund...
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:21, Reply)
are you making a collection?

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:21, Reply)
oh yes
my inbox looks like "playgirl"
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:24, Reply)
playgirl would go bust if they put out a 'men of the internet' edition

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:25, Reply)
this is true
and my family wonder why i get hysterically defensive every time my 4 year old niece wants to play angry birds on my iphone.
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:27, Reply)
Children must be kept away from the internet
otherwise 'concerned parents' occur
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:29, Reply)
i was thinking more of my inbox
but the internet too, yes.
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:32, Reply)
Hell no, if Little Noel is ever committed to film I want it to be tasteful and perhaps shot in black and white or sepia to best present its features.

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:23, Reply)
can't be THAT little, surely?

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:25, Reply)
Hey, it's just a nickname.
*shrugs*
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:26, Reply)
but how was it earned?

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:27, Reply)
A penis doesn't earn a nickname, it is born with it.

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:29, Reply)
i must say
i have never slept with anyone who gave their schlong a nickname. i think it would have a dampening effect on my libido (and not in a good way)
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:35, Reply)
you've never slept with anyone who told you about it you mean

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:36, Reply)
true
but god can you imagine? "here, swipe, just give colin [the cock] a goodnight kiss" ? or "wakey wakey, here comes snakey" ?

i'd die.
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:39, Reply)
wakey, here comes snakey-lol's.

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:44, Reply)
So it never really had a chance then

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:35, Reply)
I've often thought about getting it changed by deed poll but I hear they frown upon it.

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:46, Reply)

black and white or sepia macro
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:25, Reply)
It'd look like the surface of Mercury.

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:26, Reply)
turbulent

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:35, Reply)
go digital
and save the eyesight of some poor lab monkey
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:27, Reply)
Win!

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:21, Reply)
Me?

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:09, Reply)
Lab and I have a plan
if I ever become single again (unlikely) we are going to travel across America and capitalise on our dashing good looks and splendid accents.
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:19, Reply)
so....
...... begging on street corners then?
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:20, Reply)
you, Noel and ...related incident are all mean

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:23, Reply)
You know it's just jealousy.

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:25, Reply)
I do know that

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:26, Reply)
hey! I claimed you could make money
with sex, that's not entirely mean
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:26, Reply)
true
technically Noel wasn't that mean either.

Basically rachel was horrid, and I was so upset by it that I lumped you and Noel in with her as well.
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:27, Reply)
i am never ever horrid
do you WANT to go back into the frozen wasteland of my severe displeasure? do you?
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:28, Reply)
bit of an over reaction there shirley?

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:34, Reply)
i've told you a million times
i'd rather die than exaggerate
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:38, Reply)
I'm sure you could make literally dollars as voice-over artists.

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:22, Reply)
prostitution?

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:22, Reply)
Here's a great way to capitalise your looks.
UGLY
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:25, Reply)
*click*

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:25, Reply)
you'll pay for that

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:26, Reply)
so that's how you make your money

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:27, Reply)
Haa, no I wont.

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:30, Reply)
fate has already made you suffer enough

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:33, Reply)
you'll have them dropping like flies!

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:27, Reply)

like their
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:33, Reply)
pants, pants, everywhere

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:35, Reply)
and all the boys did blink
pants, pants everywhere
they wished they did not stink
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:36, Reply)
does "in my country we would call those trousers"
get underpants too?
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:36, Reply)
Depends who.
Amberl would be excellent for a breast-related holiday. Applebite for jumping on men, and for sensible conversation, possibly Crow.

Monty for showing me around the backalleys.
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:27, Reply)
breast-related holiday?!
what?
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:27, Reply)
A holiday pertaining to breasts.
GAWD CRUNCHY
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 19:06, Reply)
oh, obviously
sorry
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 19:16, Reply)
Your backalley, filmed by Monty?

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:30, Reply)

m l
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 19:06, Reply)
Crow? Sensible conversation?
sorry love, it doesn't happen!
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:43, Reply)
Ok, boozing til I fall over
Though I could do that with Applebite...
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:49, Reply)
you can do that with crow too I suspect. I didn't though.

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:54, Reply)
I would take Amberl to heaven just to prove there isn't one and if there is, it's probably not all it's cracked up to be.
And I've been on holiday on my own : (
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:38, Reply)
Do you want to borrow my Sunshine Bus?
*Waves*
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:39, Reply)
I like the idea of that, yes please.
*waves*

I've been good today and stayed of B3ta and worked.
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:40, Reply)
Awwww well I for one don't think you're a sex tourist.

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:47, Reply)
Fanku!

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:49, Reply)
How are you matey?

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:50, Reply)
*sings*
'Your matey's a bottle of fun
You put me in the bath
I'm loved by everyone
She's always good for a laugh'.

Good ta!

Relaxed now I've got the bulk of my jobs done at work before I jet off on Thursday.
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:53, Reply)
Where're you off to?

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:57, Reply)
Aber's wedding in Tenerife.
*glees*
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:58, Reply)
Oh yeah wicked.
Send them both heaps of fluff and scathing comebacks from me.
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 19:01, Reply)
Will do.
I would also give Aber's parents a peice of my mind if I could speak any Spanish.
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 19:03, Reply)
Seven Minutes in Heaven?
*secretly films*
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:51, Reply)
the ex
id find us a secluded lake to fish the granny out of. few beers. pot noodles. sorted.
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:41, Reply)
That sounds like the worst kind of euphemism.

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:50, Reply)
christ
is shagging all you people ever think about? i mean seriously, look at the replies in this thread
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:54, Reply)
its lack sharpens the brain to its possibilty

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:55, Reply)
There's someone out there for everyone Crunchy
Even LARPers.

ljplus.ru/img4/e/x/extel4/110104_002.jpg
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:59, Reply)
woah! where did you get that picture of me?!

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 19:00, Reply)
a russian livejournal with lots of interesting photos
not all NSFW
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 19:06, Reply)
Unfortunately we do.
Sex, food and music are the main topics on here.
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:55, Reply)
fucking hell

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:56, Reply)
Sometimes football.

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:57, Reply)
sport?
dont take the fucking piss
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:58, Reply)
Not me!
Just some of the more heavy browed specimens on B3ta.
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:59, Reply)
*grunts*
*drags knuckles*
*composes Petrarchan sonnet*
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 19:07, Reply)

heavy browed fantastic, interesting and wonderful
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 19:07, Reply)
Yes.

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:57, Reply)
you'll need a kettle

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:52, Reply)
a little one no less
ive got me one of those :D
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:54, Reply)
well I've taken Crow on holiday to Belgium.
And I'm following the Thames with you in a few weeks.
And I've been taken on minitrips by other b3tans on my holiday.

In my conclusion, b3tans on holiday together are great fun.
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 18:58, Reply)
You know I'm going to throw you in the sea when we get to the Isle of Sheppey don't you?

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 19:01, Reply)
it's okay, I'll shove sand down the back of your shirt.
or pebbles. Whatever is there.

OH! SEAWEED. Then you'll smell for the rest of the day.
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 19:03, Reply)
or manky seafilled used condoms

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 19:04, Reply)
ewwwww.
you can do that love, I like to keep my hands clean thanks.
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 19:05, Reply)
+ dead kittens.

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 19:07, Reply)
If anyone would like to come away with me
That'll be nice.

We'd have puns.
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 19:06, Reply)
That was so metareferencing it made my head spin.

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 19:07, Reply)
Consider the fourth wall destroyed!

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 19:09, Reply)
It was excellent, well done.

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 19:11, Reply)
*Fires up the Sunshine Coach!*

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 19:13, Reply)
Isn't that a bus for Mongs?

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 19:13, Reply)
Hell ya!
If there is going to be an imaginary OT holiday, then everyone can get onboard the Sunshine Bus and I'll drive you to your destination!

It has special plastic seats so the dribble of a thousand SCOPERS doesn't damage it!
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 19:16, Reply)
Oh, I see you've got with the times.

(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 19:17, Reply)
Either Aberaccion, Spikeypickle or Bella
For the simple fact that they're the only b3tans who are kind to me!



Nah, it's because they're awesome.
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 19:33, Reply)
I was kind to you once.
I'm sure I was. For a whole extended period of time and everything.
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 19:35, Reply)
Hence the pic
Nah, I think I've got on well with nearly every b3tan I've met (although I know there are those who disagree), it's simply that those are the 3 I get on with the best.
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 19:37, Reply)
Absolutely.
Start a new thread man, this one's fucked.
(, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 19:40, Reply)

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