Generic eveing thread with weak attempt at conversation starter
what's the best thing you've ever made?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 19:30, 201 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I've built PCs, I still feel proud every time I get them up and running.
The best ever though is likely to be the Pheasant, Duck and Venison pie, that was pretty damn good.

You?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 19:32, Reply)

nom!
i made a digital pinhole camera, that was cool. crocheting a hyperbolic plane at the mo, that's what got me thinking
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 19:35, Reply)

I'd love to have the skill to make something like that, I'm a bit of a mong with my hands, you see.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 19:36, Reply)

it's more about working stuff out and being tenacious
the digital camera thing was something I'd been trying to work out for ages
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 19:38, Reply)

Because one pheasant isn't enough!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 19:54, Reply)

Haha, whoops! Fixed now

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 19:58, Reply)

I genuinely cannot ever recall making anything good
not in an actual physical end result kind of way
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 19:33, Reply)

really, really?
not even a christmas decoration made from an egg box in primary school?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 19:36, Reply)

I said anything good haha

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 19:49, Reply)

it would have a kind of kitch delightfulness, maybe?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 19:50, Reply)

I've made people happy and made them come. Always happy when that happens.
Craftwise, I liked the monster I made for my ex-boyfriend as an anniversary present. And the gingerbread house was awesome too.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 19:37, Reply)

That's ace!
There always is a smidgen of pride, isn't there?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 19:38, Reply)

Craftwise,
it may please you to know that the origami crow you made me is still sitting atop my computer.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 19:54, Reply)

Glad to hear it- I keep meaning to get round to making more of those.
Or possibly finding thinner card so I didn't have to resort to a needle and thread.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 19:58, Reply)

I made it through the night once
/Manilows
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 6 Jan 2011, 19:40, Reply)

I made it through the rain
and found myself respected by the others who got rained on too.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:21, Reply)

I bake lovely cakes
The last one I made was a chocolate sponge with dark chocolate truffle icing, for my friend's birthday a couple of weeks ago. The icing was an inch and a half thick. They fucking loved it.


I don't eat cake though.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Thu 6 Jan 2011, 19:40, Reply)

why are there so many good cooks on here?
also, you are mad for not eating cake
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 19:43, Reply)

It's because all the best people are here.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 19:48, Reply)

I am horrible at cooking, absolutely awful
I have neither the time* nor the inclination** to fuck about for an hour in the kitchen before I eat. For some reason though, I seem to have a real knack for cakes and baking. I like it because I only have to do it once every so often and people love me for it. Plus, I like decorating cakes. Unfortunately, my chocolate truffle cakes are now so famous among my friends and family, that's all they ever want, so I can't play with fondant icing as much as I want.

I don't eat cakes because I don't like sweet food. It hurts my teeth.

*Ok, that's a lie.
**That's not a lie.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Thu 6 Jan 2011, 19:49, Reply)

You should post me one.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 19:51, Reply)

That won't work
The icing would stick to the box, if a hungry postie didn't get to it first.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Thu 6 Jan 2011, 19:52, Reply)

How about ingredients and instructions?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:00, Reply)

It'd cost about £15 for the ingredients

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:05, Reply)

I'm alright at cooking
I just follow instructions and shit works out.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 19:51, Reply)

Cooking is surprisingly fault-tolerant
A tablespoon instead of a teaspoon? 40 minutes instead of 30 minutes? Still edible.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:23, Reply)

That sounds ace.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 19:45, Reply)

I make really good rhubarb pies/tarts/crumbles.
but I suppose the best thing I ever made was probably a drawing.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 6 Jan 2011, 19:41, Reply)

of what?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 19:43, Reply)

A pie?

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 19:46, Reply)

of this.
sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash2/hs113.ash2/39006_1541719419864_1141290595_1536272_846853_n.jpg
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 6 Jan 2011, 19:48, Reply)

woah, wicked

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 19:49, Reply)

^ Seconded
Fucking hell, that's awesome.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 19:51, Reply)

Wow, that's awesome!

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Thu 6 Jan 2011, 19:50, Reply)

I remember you posting that on faecebook.
Still awesome really fucking good.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 6 Jan 2011, 19:52, Reply)

yeah I know, haven't been able to draw much since I've been travelling.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 6 Jan 2011, 19:53, Reply)

I still keep meaning to pick up the old graphite again.
And never get around to it.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 6 Jan 2011, 19:55, Reply)

you really should, if you enjoy it.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 6 Jan 2011, 19:57, Reply)

I know.
It's been around ten years since I did anything of note; I do enjoy it but I work late often and weekends seem to get swallowed up with housey stuff and dog walking :(
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:00, Reply)

'Tis good, yah.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:00, Reply)

Rhubarb is ace
The manager at my old cricket team used to give a massive bag of it to the man of the match each week, to prepare as they wished. One week, a lad who was 14 won it, and didn't know what rhubarb actually was. The coach berated his parents, was hilarious.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 19:47, Reply)

Brenda, on the left


When I was about 16 I bought her as a self-assembly kit, and over the course of a week or so my father and I stained and treated the wood and bolted her together. She looks great, she sounds great and she is basically my own "custom" P-bass.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 19:44, Reply)

now that is cool
well done, there
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 19:45, Reply)

I feel half dead.
How do you feel?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 19:50, Reply)

Not bad at all thanks.
I've felt surprisingly well today considering how much we drank last night. Not perfectly lucid, and rather tired, but far better than I expected or consider to be fair.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 19:53, Reply)

I watched Jeremy Kyle with the terrible two and threw up as soon as I got back.
I feel so bad about not doing work, though. Arse, and bugger.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 19:55, Reply)

I've felt surprisingly well few men's cocks today considering how much we drank last night of a massive bumder I am. Not perfectly lucid, and rather tired, but far better than I expected or consider to be fair Also my wrists hurt from the massive flapping action; has any seen my splints?.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 6 Jan 2011, 19:58, Reply)

I've got a picture of him being fondled by another man.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 19:59, Reply)

can you put that back in the case file please?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:05, Reply)

NO, IT'S MINE GOD DAMNIT

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:08, Reply)

put the evidence down and back away

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:23, Reply)

And Monty in a backwards cap.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:27, Reply)

You have to learn to leave Lab's files alone

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:45, Reply)

I once made an old woman happy by having a nice conversation with her.
She was clearly very lonely and in need of a good chin-wag, so I had a fifteen minute chat with her.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 19:52, Reply)

Be honest, Jeff.
It was an ageing labrador and you fucked her 'til her tits bled.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 6 Jan 2011, 19:54, Reply)

:(
Yes, you've got me banged to rights.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 19:55, Reply)

yeah, thanks

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 19:54, Reply)

What?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 19:55, Reply)

i was implying I was a lonely old woman

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 19:57, Reply)

Ha.
That was funny.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 19:58, Reply)

You're all shit. Apart from you pa. And ma. Obviously
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 19:57, Reply)

even me? I thought you liked me when you and I met?
or was I very wrong?
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 6 Jan 2011, 19:58, Reply)

I can't risk being seen being nice to you

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:01, Reply)

Evening TGB.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 19:59, Reply)

hey mophead

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:02, Reply)

You finished watching Pawn Stars yet?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:03, Reply)

no I've been slacking :(
May watch it when gonz is watching hollyoaks
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:06, Reply)

I'm surprised you've been slacking.
I thought you had a thing for Chumlee?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:07, Reply)

oh I forgot about him
Mmm chumlee
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:12, Reply)

I imagine Bob looks like Chumlee.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:13, Reply)

Obviously.
What do you want for dinner when you come up?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:01, Reply)

Ooh that slow cookedbeef thing please :D ill bring a box o wine
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:04, Reply)

Stifado it is then!
We've got a huge rump roast joint in the freezer, although it'll probably be scoffed before then so we'll have to get another one. Which reminds me if Asda are still doing them half price it would be worth getting another one in for March.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:06, Reply)

yay asda!
I'mgetting chauffeured up posh I know :P
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:10, Reply)

Also, thinking about going for a curry and then to the Tap on the Saturday.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:13, Reply)

sounds good!
My red wine is cold from being left near the open window DAMMIT
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 21:18, Reply)

alright TGB
how's it going?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:03, Reply)

hey hey!
Not too bad as I was reminded its friday tomorrow woo!!!!!!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:08, Reply)

fantastic!
got a good weekend planned?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:11, Reply)

going to the natural history museum :D
You?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:14, Reply)

coach back home
I leave on Saturday and get there late on Sunday :( it's a horrible trip and I always end up having a massive gap in London between arriving in Victoria and leaving for Oxford. It's a shit journey.

/Moan, wail, whinge
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:20, Reply)

If you want, I'll meet you for coffee.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:34, Reply)

Thanks :)
however on checking the website I arrive at half seven in the morning and I wouldn't drag you out that early on a Sunday!
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:42, Reply)

Oh dear lord!
You poor thing.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:43, Reply)

It's a tossup
between the venison casserole I made before Christmas or the beef in beer I made before that (and again today). Fan-fucking-tastic.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:00, Reply)

It's a toss up
between the venison casserole I made before Christmas or the beef in beer I made before that (and again today). Fan-fucking-tastic.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:01, Reply)

Poor jeff, very poor
Which I mistyped as poof and was tempted to leave.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:25, Reply)

My mum's front door.
My parent's house is a heap I'm utterly embarrassed to take anyone to. Built in 1910, half of it is steadily falling down the hill it was built on, there're huge cracks in two of the walls, it's damp and undecorated and reeks of tobacco. It's in a cracking spot in the old part of town with the biggest garden for miles around, but due to weed a restrictive home insurance policy they've never got it sorted out and generally let the place go.

For my mum's fiftieth birthday, my brothers and I made a new front door for the house. Middle brother designed it, little brother selected timber and machined it, and I built it, finished it and swung it. It's absolutely beautiful, thick, heavy meranti timber, stained dark brown with six glass panels, three-point locking, brass fittings and a closing thud to die for.

This is the only time I will ever be effusive about a door.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:00, Reply)

you totally had a doorgasm!

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 21:41, Reply)

I make some awesome cakes
And I have also done some quite nice art. I'm not sure about 'best' but I won a national fancy dress competition with a darth maul outfit at the age of 12. I made a lightsaber and everything. Fortunately I have no idea where the photographic evidence of this is.
(berk, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:06, Reply)

Darth Maul outfit at the age of 12?
The film only came out a couple of years ago. Are you really 15?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:08, Reply)

it was over 10 years ago, jeff
you're showing your age
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:09, Reply)

Meh.
I've not seen the film either. I've seen the 'originals' but none of the newer ones (even if the newer ones are 10 years old).
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:12, Reply)

on further calculation
I was actually 14. I think. But I can't remember exactly. Old enough to know better than to dress up like am idiot, anyway. Not that this has ever stopped me, even to this day.
(berk, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:17, Reply)

And where did you find a 'national' fancy-dress competition?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:19, Reply)

whsmiths
So nyer
(berk, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:24, Reply)

No.
They are a national stationery supplier.

At no point have they ever been famed for their promotion of fancy dress competitions.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:26, Reply)

it was advertised on tv as it happens
And I won, so shut it.
(berk, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:27, Reply)

What did you win?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:28, Reply)

Whatever it was
it's never going to be as good as the first 9 episodes of Monkey and an army green Monkey t shirt that I won once.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:30, Reply)

My dad once won tickets to go and see The Grumbleweeds.
He never used them.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:32, Reply)

I've been 'using' the 'grumbleweed' for years.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:35, Reply)

probably not
It was a darth vader tshirt, a star wars book, the first film on video and some amount of smiths vouchers. I've heard a couple of people mention monkey, what is it?
(berk, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:35, Reply)

Only the best TV show of all time.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monkey_(TV_series)

I have been obsessed with it since I was a boy. It was the only television programme I was allowed to watch with my supper in the sitting room when the rest of the family was at the dinner table.

I only recently acquired the soundtrack LP on BBC Records, it's marvellous funky Japanese synth-rock.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:43, Reply)

sounds..interesting
I shall give it a google when I get in and see if I can watch it online somewhere
(berk, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:48, Reply)

WATCH THIS NOW
www.youtube.com/watch?v=M0nfdk3qCNQ
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 21:00, Reply)

A top, top show
Especially the ambiguity of Tripitaka's gender.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:51, Reply)

Samples of own-brand haircare products for one of the major supermarkets.
They'd ummed and ahhed for months and changed the colours and product specs about half a dozen times, but in the end they went with mine. Mine.

While I did make the actual samples, they were based on generic formulations and the fragrance had been made by a third-party manufacturer. The only real creative input I had was getting the colour right.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:08, Reply)

did you go with that silky white colour?

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:11, Reply)

No, they wanted a honey-like colour.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:14, Reply)

This needs more maniacal laughter
and working on MAC stuff
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:15, Reply)

They develop their own formulations, we just mix and fill the stuff.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:17, Reply)

C+ for effort here

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:22, Reply)

I don't think I've ever made anything other than food.
I fail at making things.
I started to crochet a baby blanket for my friend but stopped because I fucked it up. Boo.
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:14, Reply)

At least you only stopped because you fucked it up and not because she miscarried.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:17, Reply)

oh. my. gawd.

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:20, Reply)

Has that cheered you up a bit?
Imagine if the blanket was going really well and you had to stop? Think how angry you'd be then.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:21, Reply)

not really, I'm a bit horrified
and giggly

I really should start over again, I only just realised that she's 6 months on now
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:27, Reply)

Horrified and giggly?
My work here is done.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:30, Reply)

My daughter.
Apologies for extreme gayness.

Making people dance to the wilfully-obscure sounds of my bands and DJ sets is one of the other best things I've made.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:25, Reply)

You feeling brighter now?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:27, Reply)

A little, thank you.
Just put my little'un to bed and am now risking my life and liberty coming on here using my ex's laptop. I say ex's laptop, it was mine once, she stole it off me.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:29, Reply)

first it's sperm, then it's laptops, whatever will she take next?

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:30, Reply)

'The fucking piss'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:31, Reply)

oh pfft

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:38, Reply)

Look, you can put your 'little 'un' to bed all you like.
We don't want to hear about your sordid behaviour on the internet, thenkyouverymuch.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:30, Reply)

Just for that, you're getting a cock-gaz tonight.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:35, Reply)

I could do with a laugh.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:42, Reply)

Did you get to cock about with the fort this evening?
Or does that stay at yours?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:31, Reply)

I most certainly did. It's superb.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:32, Reply)

remember to delete the history!

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:31, Reply)

Believe me I will.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:32, Reply)

He has been trying to do that for years hasn't he?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:33, Reply)

I love that feeling, My best ever gig was a tremendous feeling-
Making people cheer a record that they are hearing for the first time is a fantastic thing- that and the fact that I never start to enjoy it until about two thirds of the way through.

Nerves are terrible- but if I didn't take it seriously, I wouldn't care and wouldn't be nervous.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:32, Reply)

I still get nervous after all these years.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:34, Reply)

I understand completely.
That night, my first tune was Morel's 'True- The Faggot is You', FC Kahuna's mix. I'd had people asking for dubstep before I started- those ten minutes or so before you go on are horrendous, wanting the time to fly by so you can get stuck in on the technics, whilst also wishing you would faint, or your head would fall off, anything so you can duck out.

But it's a heavy responsibility- if you fuck up, there's nowhere to hide, nobody else to pin the blame on and people will call you a wanker for the next two or three hours.

Playing for two hours is my maximum- I have neither the clout nor the experience to play for any longer than that.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:37, Reply)

I know Dan and Jon Kahuna very well indeed.
Jon is superb, Dan is a weaselly fucking shitbag who nicked my mate's copy of the Double Trouble remix of Eric B and Rakim's 'I Know You Got Soul', the cunt.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:48, Reply)

Mindset to Cycle is one of my favourite records ever. I still give it a regular airing, even though it came out when I was 20.
And I am 31 on Monday. But that fucking bassline, when that hits it nearly makes me do a sexwee.

Just for you Monty, www.youtube.com/watch?v=wtoKSoS1i5k
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:51, Reply)

I used to play at their 'Big Kahuna' club nights,
from whence their name came, the first one was in the bar of a hotel in Finsbury Park and was really, really shit. They had J Saul Kane at one of them, he was excellent. I really admire that man.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:54, Reply)

J Saul Kane was somewhat overlooked I always thought.
His Depth Charge records were well ahead of their time- he was doing massive breakbeats with Kung Fu samples way before Big Beat (remember that?) was even thought of. I have a Mo Wax record by Nigo (of Bathing Ape fame) with a Depth Charge mix on it. Him and Jack Dangers only got the props they deserve from the underground heads, which is sadly always the way.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:57, Reply)

He also did this*:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=m8y6MlCEhqs

A rave classic from the golden age. I fucking love it - there's a better mix on the other side though.

*with someone else I think
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 21:05, Reply)

I saw 808 State DJing last year.
A mate of mine is well into his techno and rave- he has had records released on Djaxx. He has also heard a tune of his get played by Ellen Allien at a clubnight during Sonar a few years back- that must be an incredible feeling.

He is also doing a demo package for Ovum- if it comes to fruition I will hit you the fuck up. He's rather ravey, but impeccably produced and very very sleek techno. I've DJd at gigs where he plays live- bit of a strange mix, me doing techy breaks then live acid techno, but it sort of works.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 21:10, Reply)

I prefer a longer set myself.
I love the freedom of a four-hour plus set, where you start in one style and end somewhere completely different. I learnt from a master: Weatherall's Sabresonic nights were incredible - he had great guests but the best nights were the ones where he was on his own for six hours.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:51, Reply)

Weatherall is fucking boss, he really is.
He'll play rockabilly, T Rex, Primal Scream, techno, breakbeat, back to rockabilly, swerve into post punk and with impeccable taste and programming skills.

He is the man I want to be. Ivan Smagghe is superb as well, very much a French Weatherall. If Wevvers was the only DJ in the world I would never stop listening and never get bored.

TANGENTIAL EDIT:

It is my firm and unswerving belief that of the three key skills that a good DJ possesses, the order, in decreasing importance, is:

Selection
Programming
Mixing

There are DJs like Lavelle that are great at the first two but shit at the third, then those such as Judge Jules who mix impeccably but play toytown shit. If Judge Jules was a band, he would be Pendulum. Music for plebs and nonces.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:54, Reply)

One of the best DJs I've ever seen is Jah Shaka,
and he plays with one deck. That tells you all you need to know about my attitude. I am a huge fan of turntablism etc but really it's all about your records: Tony Vegas used to moan massively to me about the hordes of Japanese scratch-nerds who would just stand there gawping at him rather than getting into the music. It's not a fucking spectator sport.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 21:20, Reply)

Indeed.
All about the records.

Though there is something about hearing one record coming in over the current one, bass knocked off then BOOM basslines swap, faders are flicked, gains tweaked and a bassline drops.

Nothing quite like it, and no other performance medium offers anything remotely similar.

We should DJ together sometime. Here or London.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 21:22, Reply)

DELETE HISTORY
LOG MONTY BOYCE OUT AFTER USE
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:52, Reply)

Did you decide where you are going for your dirty weekend?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:37, Reply)

Not yet, but York was my initial idea
and that seems to have been validated by other opinions.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:52, Reply)

Dont decide till you've checked this place out, you fucking throbber
www.benderloch.com/
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:58, Reply)

HE LIVES!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 21:01, Reply)

Albiet in a greatly reduced form
What's been happening anyways, still the same old clusterfuck?

I have basically zero access at work these days, and once home, i'm too busy wanking to do much else
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 21:10, Reply)

You've shrunk?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 21:11, Reply)

Just the cancer...down from tennis ball sized tumours to more manageable ping pong sized ones
Hows tricks?
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 21:14, Reply)

A bit shoddy, truth be told.
How's you and family?

I really do miss you on here, old boy. The bile levels are not what they should be.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 21:17, Reply)

Aye, good
Xmas was cold and filled to the brim with work. Ended up spending NYE playing Trivial Pursuit...rock'n'roll.

Last I heard, you were on the up and up, what with a lovely lady to keep you company and all.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 21:21, Reply)

NYE is fucking bent.
I have cracking Afghani hashish at the moment*, what're you burning?

*good old 'war on drugs', there's been fucking loads of it
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 21:23, Reply)

This isn't bent though.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=WOFvRUjbae4&feature=related
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 21:25, Reply)

I could watch that all day long.
And this: www.youtube.com/watch?v=Psb3ZMOAcII
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 21:31, Reply)

You cunt.
That'll be in my head ALL NIGHT.

*Ponders revenge*
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 21:40, Reply)

Have a go on this Monty.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6NBAZrdjQw

Or this. www.youtube.com/watch?v=sFlmEznsr2w

But you really need to find an hour and a half to watch this.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=AgBmGuC0HWk

As approved by both Roota and myself.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 21:43, Reply)

1950's insanity
Would love to hear this in a club

www.youtube.com/watch?v=29ZRjYh3Pg0
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 21:41, Reply)

Never a truer word spoken
So what about Benderloch for the OT bash?
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 21:26, Reply)

Haha it seems quite perfect.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 21:32, Reply)

Some rather excellent bud
Very fresh, gives a blissed out high. Still harking after some good solid though ;-)

Now, i know i recommended Aliester Crowleys 'Diary of a Drug Fiend' before, but I started reading it again the other day and you really should give it a go. Brilliant stuff, excellent dialogue and especially as how you can read it online line, for free!

books.google.co.uk/books?id=YDzCLo7ozycC&printsec=frontcover&dq=diary+of+a+drug+fiend&source=bl&ots=WUqzT-7bpo&sig=QK2M7PFecOZRqvS52Bgqt6sQTi8&hl=en&ei=0TImTcOuHJCyhAep7qnwAQ&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=2&ved=0CCQQ6AEwAQ#v=onepage&q&f=false
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 21:30, Reply)

Excellent

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 21:32, Reply)

There's tomorrows working day sorted out.
How can you turn it down when he's talking about 'Appalling rotters' and 'the boche' in the first few pages...then the ocean going coke abuse starts. 1922 remember!
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 21:39, Reply)

Monty was around in 1922?
I fucking knew it.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 21:43, Reply)

Read it
It's wonderful.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 21:50, Reply)

I have a Crowley book somewhere.
Can't remember which one though.

For racismlols I think Conrad is always worth a chuckle.

He's also pretty much the only Modernist I can enjoy reading (that is unless you count Beckett and Burroughs as Modernists- I've read serious academic work that cites Burroughs as a Modernist but I can't agree).

The same work though posits Beckett as the first postmodernist- a view I'm happy to take on board and discuss if need be.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 21:53, Reply)

Burroghs is superb.
Not that keen on the heavy cut up stuff though. Junky is brilliant, got that on CD, with Burroughs himself reading it, very dreamy and soothing.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 21:58, Reply)

I made a *special* cake for DG's birthday in December
www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=155015417879011&set=a.155014394545780.27705.100001116627734
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:41, Reply)

Then Mildew got to it:
www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=155015421212344&set=a.155014394545780.27705.100001116627734&pid=283357&id=100001116627734
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:42, Reply)

I made a set of fitted seat cushions for my parents' hexagonal gazebo.
Doesn't sound a lot but they're an awkward shape (for which I had to make a template by drawing it on newspaper) and they were kind of cuboid, rather than just shapeless squashy cushions. I also had to buy the foam blocks for the seats and hack those to the right shape.
Like these but on a smaller scale www.variete.co.uk/set-of-5-seats-for-the-emperor-hexagonal-roof-gazebo.html?source=ciao

I did this in the two weeks while they were away on holiday and had them all ready along with some matching scatter cushions on the day they returned.

Up to that point I'd never done anything other than hem trousers and make scatter cushions. It was, like MATHS and SCIENCE and HOUSECRAFT.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 20:43, Reply)

sheeeeeeeiiit
you coulda just bought em for 700 clams innit
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 21:03, Reply)

Cost me about £80 quid in the end
but still cheaper than bought ones, and they were so impressed that gormless old Roota made them (with velcro flaps at the back for washing ease.)
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 21:07, Reply)

holy moly, that's really pretty fucking awesome
I don't think I could do anything like that, when it comes to constructing and drawing my eyes and brain just spack out
I couldn't even get 4 lines in trying to crochet a baby blanket :/
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 21:12, Reply)

I'm not sure I could do it again
It was completely out of character.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 21:23, Reply)

so you won't be making my bridesmaid dress then?
Don't worry, I can always re-use my wedding dress. I promise I won't upstage you at all.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 6 Jan 2011, 21:26, Reply)

Haha "I was the bride once you know!"
while chucking Guinness down my frock.
Your dress was ace.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 21:33, Reply)

I still wear it
every day for an hour, drinking and slurring

"I was beautiful, you know. Someone wanted me. All my friends were there. It was special. I WAS FUCKING RADIANANT, DAMMININIT!"
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 6 Jan 2011, 21:34, Reply)

That is totally me, wandering round Roota Heights with cats attached to my limbs

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 21:36, Reply)

Scouse gazebo?
Reads 'Umbrella'.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 21:08, Reply)

Yup

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 21:10, Reply)

Am I too late to join in?
This is the best thing I ever made for myself. It was proper fab. Obviously the names weren't blurred out in the original - I'm just trying to protect the identity of some real reprobates...



For information: my wedding theme was star-related, and the tables were named for star systems. Roota and DJ were on Andromeda.


For other people, I make absolutely fab scrapbooks. You know, those american type ones that look all pretty and fancy.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 6 Jan 2011, 21:24, Reply)

Is that the planet Alderaan?
It should be there, but isn't?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 21:26, Reply)

No silly, they were star systems, not planets.
Read the text, don't just look at the pretty pictures.

And all my systems were belong to us in this galaxy.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 6 Jan 2011, 21:27, Reply)

All I see is a red X and a missing image.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 21:41, Reply)

This.

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 21:42, Reply)

well, screw you then, bitch!
Everyone else can see it.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 6 Jan 2011, 21:42, Reply)

Except Kristine.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 21:47, Reply)

I thought my RED GIANT joke was pretty good
it alludes to the GIANT RED X that I see
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 21:48, Reply)

And I thought my Alderaan line was worth a smile too.
As the picture is supposed to be there, but isn't.

Never mind eh?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 21:49, Reply)

it did make me smile...some people, I swear

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 21:56, Reply)

It's not our fault K.
Like you say, some people.

How is Echo?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 21:57, Reply)

In heat. The bitch.

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 22:01, Reply)

She looks pissed off.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 22:03, Reply)

Aw, my blue star.
I watched it float down the Thames.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 21:34, Reply)

did it have asylum seekers clinging desperately to it?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 6 Jan 2011, 21:35, Reply)

Yes
I poked them with bargepoles though
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 21:36, Reply)

I really love that red giant

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 21:37, Reply)