Jesus christ
if someone said that to me they'd be looking for their teeth. What the hell is it with you, your friends, and terrible men?
(berk, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 10:27, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

i do have lots of friends with nice boyfriends
but their stories are reeeeeeally dull!

"i came home from work and so did he and then we cooked dinner and watched some tv and went to bed."
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 10:29, Reply)

That sounds 'normal' though.
What are you expecting from a man?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 10:32, Reply)

You need some friends who are swingers
Their stories are NEVER dull
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 10:32, Reply)

Well, I suppose...
still though, I am astonished at the level of fuckwittery you and your friends seem to attract.
*ponders own lovelife with particular reference to fuckwitted men. I'll shut up now..*
(berk, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 10:32, Reply)

I'm not even going to mention your life before Christmas.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 10:34, Reply)

Hence the shutting up
I am well aware of my ability to attract fuckwittery, albeit in substantially less interesting circumstances than swipey and her mates.
(berk, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 10:57, Reply)

Well at least you attract something.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 11:00, Reply)

The amount of stories you have, surely so do you?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 11:13, Reply)

Trouble, mainly
and from the stories you tell, you get a lot more giggedy than I do, although that's possibly because you choose, erm, men who fuck you then fuck you over.
(berk, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 11:17, Reply)

Like a younger Rswipe!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 11:18, Reply)

gee
i can't hear this enough, thanks for reminding me how positively ancient i am
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 11:31, Reply)

Notice the 2 letters at the end -er
She needs only to be a day younger for that to apply to her!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 12:00, Reply)

Fuck me, and fuck off, as one of them said
No, I really don't. I just have some great stories.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 11:18, Reply)

i have a lot of girlfriends
but the stories come from the same few. there must be a reason for this, but we have spent many many nights trying to work out why we attract fuckwits, and have failed to find an answer.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 10:35, Reply)

Because you're the sort of girl that headbutts gym equipment?

( Kroney, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 10:35, Reply)

I think you've put your finger on it there

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 10:36, Reply)

I am very incisive.

( Kroney, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 10:36, Reply)

Or Swipes forehead.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 10:37, Reply)

Why would I put my finger on her forehead?

( Kroney, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 10:37, Reply)

Some sort of Jedi mind trick?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 10:38, Reply)

PFFT

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 10:43, Reply)

Because you've all spent the night with your friends analysing why you attract fuckwits
Rather than going out and meeting 'normals'?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 10:36, Reply)

She prefers 'simples'

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 10:41, Reply)

bravo

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 10:52, Reply)

Erm, I suspect mostly because they seem to actively seek arseholes?
certainly most of the traits that seem to be mentioned as desirable are mostly synonymous with arseholes.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 10:47, Reply)

what, like arrogant, clever, funny, good looking and rich
but with a tiny hint of vulnerability?

i cannot possibly think why you say anyone with those qualities would be an asshole.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 10:50, Reply)

it must be the rich bit that makes people arseholes
because I've got all the rest sorted
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 10:51, Reply)

the fact that I only think I have
clearly means I'm not arrogant enough.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 10:55, Reply)

Arrogant?! Why on earth would you go for arrogant?
Totally not my cup of tea.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 10:53, Reply)

haha. yes.
presactly. although if you're actively searching for someone arrogant and rich you deserve everything you get ;)

I'd also add "six-packed gym obsessive" to that. Nothing wrong with being fit, but any man who hits the gym every day to get "that perfect toning" is gay or a vacuous wanker, and there are no exceptions to that.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 10:53, Reply)

I only know one guy who goes to the gym every day, or pretty much
and that is my ginger bass player and he goes so he can surf like a fucking demon
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 10:55, Reply)

depends what he's doing it for, if he's not doing it to look good
then it's probably acceptable. although it's still obsessive, which is hardly a good personality trait in a potential shag. Why doesn't he just swim if he's doing to surf, anyway?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 10:57, Reply)

not quite the same set of muscles believe it or not
surfing works the triceps, muscles at the top/outside/front of the chest (not an anatomist) and lower back quite a lot more.

edit: my view is that I swim to work most of the appropriate muscles, and improve the others by surfing. It suits me, but you can't help but curse my mate when he can paddle twice as powerfully as I can.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 10:58, Reply)

so does swimming. Especially on a float.
I do see your point, but there's no gym exercise that would be any better, it's just the easiest substitute I guess. Surfing's a rare example in that it's tricky to train by just doing it, though.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 11:01, Reply)

you are right, and using a float is something I've considered
but only since having access to a private pool.

you can build the muscles, especially arm and chest, in the gym, but not using them with the appropriate motions.

Core strength is a big thing, but that is very easily done outside the gym.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 11:05, Reply)

Core strength is there in pretty much any sport, though
is surfing the only thing he does?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 11:08, Reply)

surfing is the only thing there is!

also, yes, well, he plays double bass as well. That requires quite a lot of upper body and arm strength.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 11:13, Reply)

I go to the gym most days
It's not so I look perfect (that will never happen anyway), it's so I don't get broken in half on a Saturday
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 10:56, Reply)

see above.
But i've never got that. I just train several times a week, y'know, for the relevant sport. Although I do agree outdoor training in the winter is painful. but at least it's not full of gym wankers spotting each other.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 10:58, Reply)

You can't do much strength training outdoors though
And I go on my own to the gym, none of the shit you're suggesting
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 11:01, Reply)

that's why I qualified the above about "depends what you do it for"
I know some sports require strength training, it's the people that do it for perfect personal image that do my head in.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 11:03, Reply)

I go to the gym regularly
so that I can eat pizza whenever I like. This strikes me as the best of all the reasons.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 11:33, Reply)

i've never hit the jackpot with all of them at once though
i've had clever, ugly and rich. i've had arrogant, poor, stupid (well, stupider than i am, believe it or not) and ugly. i've had vulnerable and ugly.

gah.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 11:00, Reply)

seriously, why the fuck do you have arrogant and rich on the list?
both are appallingly unattractive traits in anyone. Well, rich is if it matters to them.

Unless you mean confidence rather than arrogance?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 11:06, Reply)

Swipe wants Tony Stark

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 11:06, Reply)

I didn't see "will be dead from *insert made-up metal here* poisoning soon" on the list..

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 11:08, Reply)

He's cured though

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 11:12, Reply)

I really can't say I paid that much attention.
there was other stuff to distract me, like wine to drink and paint to watch dry.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 11:29, Reply)

Don't we all?

(berk, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 11:18, Reply)

I don't

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 11:24, Reply)

i don't really have a list!
the only two things that are essential to me are: we have got to make each other laugh and he has got to be intelligent. the rest is just filler!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 11:09, Reply)

You should audition people.
Get them to perform a little sketch and then sit and exam, if they pass, you'll consider letting them take you out for a drink.

I might sell the rights to ITV

'Swipe Wants Talent'

The winner can be decided by phone vote.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 11:12, Reply)

Haaave you met Ted Crow?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 11:12, Reply)

Ted Crow?
Isn't he the head of the railway union? Surely she should punch him rather than date him?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 11:34, Reply)

Bob Crow
but I'd happily see anyone with the actual surname Crow culled, just to be safe. the collateral damage would be a small price to pay for ridding the world of that cunt.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 11:36, Reply)

I'm trying to work out whether this is flattery or asteism

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 11:38, Reply)

*basks in the warm glow of an awesome word*

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 11:39, Reply)

It's a fucking beauty.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 11:41, Reply)

It's flattery, as you'd surely fulfil her requirements
And it's a quote from HIMYM.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 12:03, Reply)

Well, thank you kindly.
(Though the HIMYM reference will be completely lost on me.)
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 12:04, Reply)

Don't think most people would get it, no worries!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 12:12, Reply)

Stop going for the uglies.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 11:07, Reply)