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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Just re-reading some of today's 'action'
it occurs to me that, if I am brutally honest, I do not give even the tiniest wizened tagnut of a shit about the Tunisian system of government.

They could overthrow the government and descend into frenzied cannibalism and I would struggle to suppress a languid yawn.

Am I a cunt for failing utterly to engage with the modern world? Convince me that I am wrong to feel this way through the medium of informed dialogue.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 22:50, 218 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
Maybe, but if you care so little about the modern world, why should you care if the modern world thinks you're a cunt?

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 22:51, Reply)
He needs validation
On the internet.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 22:55, Reply)
srs bizness

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 22:56, Reply)
zomg I am boooored.
Quickly covering reception at work...

The receptionist just went into far too much detail about her sex life. I really feel rather violated right now. I do not what to ever hear about someone having a fantasy involing being a hostage on a plane and being taken to first class to be fucked at gun point...

I am going back to the bar now to get myself a very large gin.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 22:58, Reply)
That is absolutely horrible
enjoy the gin sounds like you need it. Do you work on a Saturday?
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:02, Reply)
Nopes.
There is the rare occassion I have a shift swap with someone but I usually get sat and sun off.
I am hoping tonight I will be finished by 2am instead of the usual 4 or 5.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:08, Reply)
Fingers crossed for an early finish then!
You should totally come up to Oxford in February
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:12, Reply)
If there is a Saturday gathering I shall endeavour to be there.

(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:14, Reply)
Moved to Sat 19th now :)

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:19, Reply)
The best kind of validation.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 22:56, Reply)
LOOK AT ME! SERIOUSLY, LOOK AT ME!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 22:57, Reply)
I don't at all.
I was merely interested in hearing an argument for why 'nowadays' isn't a load of old toss. My father used to chair a debating society and our evening meals were like fucking Question Time. I simply wanted to encourage mass debating on the internet.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:02, Reply)
I can't really debate well in text, especially when I'm practically having to jam my brain back into my ears
I'm tired, deeply unhappy and in want of hugz and noms.

DO YOUR FUCKING WORST AND I'LL TRY AND COUNTER, BITCH
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:03, Reply)
I have a feeling
your dinner table was like ours is. Except we have extra puns
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:08, Reply)
I think there are enough wankers on the internet already
without you encouraging more.

OMG DID YOU SEE WHAT I DID THERE? ROFL!
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:09, Reply)
NISE 1 M8!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:26, Reply)
You set 'em up, etc.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:28, Reply)
Nope
it's people own business how much they care. I'm usually quite interested in foreign affairs, but the Tunisian thing hasn't been that interesting.
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 22:55, Reply)
FUCKING CARTHAGINIANS
CAUSING TROUBLE AGAIN!
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 22:57, Reply)
They just can't help themselves, the cunts.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:03, Reply)
You should tell them that.
Sail in, having buried your dad on an island and leaving your girlfriend in a burning city.

Try and fuck the president and get really huffy when he refuses to speak to you EVER AGAIN, even though he's dead.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:05, Reply)
Lampito
why is when I have an exam tomorrow, I can't revise, I can only read a very interesting book on an entirely different subject and indeed different millenium?
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:24, Reply)
Probably the same reason why when I have an essay to write I piss around or read crazy conspiracy theories
on how Augustus had Virgil murdered.

Postponing the inevitable doom :(
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:29, Reply)
I'm reading Boswell
on the early church, rather than Cicero and the bloody document
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:32, Reply)
That's probably more relevant to what I'm doing :(

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:33, Reply)
It's really interesting
about how the church didn't enact anti-gay legislation until the 13th century
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:37, Reply)
Ames was saying something about the whole chastity thing being misrepresented and fucking shit up
not sure exactly what, so I've no idea what it was.

this is all just words at this point. I also have no idea how to cite the bible in essays.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:40, Reply)
I've never referenced
an essay in my life :(
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:44, Reply)
It makes me well nervy thinking about that. Sorry.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:45, Reply)
That's okay
I'm the worst student ever
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:48, Reply)
Try that in science
and you'll get a big fat zero, sadly.
(berk, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:53, Reply)
not sure how you get away with it in arts/humanities either
I always had to do them
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:59, Reply)
You don't get away with it

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:01, Reply)

God, The Bible (various dudes through history; all over the place) Quite a few points in history
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:46, Reply)
was tempted to put "unknown"
Just left it at "The Holy Bible, King James' Version"
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:47, Reply)
as long as you chapter and verse it
you'll be fine
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:48, Reply)
I think you're right.
Nothing new is happening, everything just repeats itself so get fucked and try avoiding the dangerous bits I reckon.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 22:55, Reply)
No, it doesn't.
The information is available to you, you choose not to take it, because it doesn't interest you. What would you even do once armed with the information? It would become, at best, a small topic of conversation, that you'd be bored with.

The only time I hate people who don't read up on current events is when they try and voice an opinion on it. They truly are cunts.

EDIT: Just in case you change your mind, though, I'm reading this at the moment

motherjones.com/mojo/2011/01/whats-happening-tunisia-explained?utm_source=web&utm_medium=twitter
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:00, Reply)
I do enjoy the "What is Tunisia?" section

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:08, Reply)
The problem with following links on Twitter
Is that they're often designed for people who can only get information by following links on Twitter.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:12, Reply)
And people who use Twitter.

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:22, Reply)
Ouch.
I like Twitter.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:25, Reply)
We know.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:29, Reply)
I won't shut up about it.
It's like crack to me. Beautiful, beautiful crack.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:32, Reply)
Crack is like crack to me.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:33, Reply)
nothing wrong with Shitter*
*yes there is
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:33, Reply)
There is.
Oh god, there really is.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:33, Reply)
It's not like I have anything better to do
And if you're writing something, it can be a good tool to get noticed.

That's it really. I'm not trying to make you use it.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:36, Reply)
We're all human beings
therefore I probably ought to give more than two square shits about bad stuff happening in other countries, but it's hard to feel anything other than apathy when I don't know anyone involved, I've never been to the place and it affects me in no way whatsoever.
(berk, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:00, Reply)
I'm actually a computer
B3ta is like the trainee program for the Turing test
(I helped save b3ta! Tedium Alduce me to interlow myself., Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:08, Reply)
I bought some new fishes today.
That's how interesting I currently find world issues.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:11, Reply)
i know for a fact i could persuade you in person
But I'm now in the pub so it'll have to wait
(PsychoChomp, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:13, Reply)
Spoken like a true, socially active youngster with money in his back pocket and an army of mates.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:14, Reply)

mates victims
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:17, Reply)
Fuck 'em all.
I'm full of curry and lager.

BEAT THAT YOU TUNISIAN CUNTS!

As you were.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:27, Reply)
Evening

(berk, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:28, Reply)
Evening berk.
How are you?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:29, Reply)
Not bad
I'm full of crumble and I've just watched The Princess Bride. I've never seen it before, and it's endearingly silly. Also, Cary Elwes is HAWT.
(berk, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:31, Reply)
I had the set meal for two
But in exchange for a pint, I asked for just one starter and just one rice dish.

Fuck I'm bloated.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:33, Reply)
I am judging you HARD
You little piggler!
(berk, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:34, Reply)
I'll probably still lose weight eating that berk.
6 pints and the set menu for two, that is how I'm rocking.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:36, Reply)
That is frankly insane
I am actually mildly aghast at how much food that is. Especially since you're so skinny, you git.
Speaking of which, are you coming to Tayyabs?
(berk, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:37, Reply)
No.
For the following reasons.

1/ Never got invited.

2/ This month is already stacked.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:38, Reply)
I wasn't invited either
I'm still going though.

But fair enough. Plans for le weekend?
(berk, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:41, Reply)
It'll be pub in the morning
Followed by football in the afternoon, followed by pub post match.

I might go to the pub on Saturday night, I might not.

It is quite a blokey-day all things considered.

Yourself?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:43, Reply)
Pffft football
it's a silly game. City or Rovers?

I have to go food shopping and go in to work, and I may even chance a trip in to the city centre if I get too bored writing PhD applications.
(berk, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:45, Reply)
City.
I like watching football. I really enjoy the soap opera of following a football club/team and the highs and lows that go with it.

I'm not as committted as I used to be (going to all the home and away games), but I still go to all the home games.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:47, Reply)
That's the one on the other side of Bristol isn't it?
I used to live about 5-10 minutes walk from the Rover's ground. At least, that's the way round I think it is...
I can't imagine being that much of a fanatic about anything to be honest. It's just a game.
(berk, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:52, Reply)
It is only a game
But when it's a game you've got no influence over, and you decide to 'buy in' to the concept of it, and you decide to put your efforts into following it, it does become something you care about.

Some of the adventures I've had over the years (especially at away games), and some of the things I've done, and people I've met as a result of going to football would be enough to fill a book.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:56, Reply)
'Adventures'
sounds suspiciously like drinking too much and picking on people wearing the wrong colour scarf :P
(berk, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:59, Reply)
I do admit knowing people who've taken issue with opposing supporters
And this is why I no longer travel to away games, but I've never thrown a punch at a football match.

Drinking too much. Yes.

But the whole saga of being let down by a team of highly paid pros is quite a grounder for life.

Imagine the conversation in the pub.

Bloke 1:'I'm gutted the dog died this week and the wife left me'
Bloke 2:'Sorry to hear that'
Bloke 1:' It's been a difficult week, what with losing my job as well'
Bloke 2:' I see Maynard is fit, we've missed him!'
Bloke 1:'Really? That's fantastic, fancy another cider?'
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:02, Reply)
Nope
I just don't get it. At least with rugby there's violence and with cricket there's beer and sunshine.
(berk, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:10, Reply)
It's probably a bloke thing.
I am allowed to be a bloke am I not?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:12, Reply)
NO, dammit
the floppy hair is a clear sign of androgyny.

yes, of course you are..
(berk, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:15, Reply)
I'm still searching for my purpose in life berk.
I cross many social spectrums.

Indie kid thru boardroom thur knowing people who like hitting people.

I'm quite rounded really.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:18, Reply)
A genre spanner, eh?
well, a spanner possibly...
(berk, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:21, Reply)
Oh... Oh... Oh...
FUCK OFF!

I'm not as clever as you am I?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:26, Reply)
You are several pints down on the evening
I'll let you off a witty reposte this time.
(berk, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:30, Reply)
If you have access to BBC4 and aren't watching it now you are a flid.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:29, Reply)
I'll put it on Monts.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:29, Reply)
What is it?
I may watch on iPlayer once I've torn myself out of this essay funk.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:30, Reply)
Keep up, Joey, it's the Chess story.
Chuck Berry's 'Maybelline' is playing, one of my favourite songs EVARR.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:31, Reply)
memmmememrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Sorry.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:32, Reply)
Berry let himself down by trying to wear his hair like a white boy.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:34, Reply)
The cool cats amongst us are busy watching Mad Men.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:52, Reply)
I have nothing to add to this
not being capable of informed dialogue, but I'm bored and aimless and can't make myself go to bed, yet.

Evening all
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:44, Reply)
Alright Crunchy.
What have you done this evening?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:45, Reply)
basically nothing
spent too long on a dating site scrolling through boring profiles. It's getting to be a habit.
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:48, Reply)
Find anyone interesting?
*Notes you've NOT MAILED ME*
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:49, Reply)
one or two
but even then, I'm usually too chicken to send a message. I did send a couple on one site and neither answered :(

uh, perhaps the mailing system is down
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:51, Reply)
Or prehaps I've never registered with any of them!
How many contacts/mails do you get a month?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:53, Reply)
1 or 2
but usually of the "hi" variety I have no idea how to reply to
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:54, Reply)
If someone says 'hi'
I'd being thinking 'low' or 'you get nothing for a pair...' (and if they reply 'not in this game!' they are worthy of further probing)
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 23:57, Reply)
I tend to reply to the ones who
respond to things in my profile about spaceships or time travel.
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:00, Reply)
Do you want to date a Timelord?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:03, Reply)
yeah, but I think he's getting married next year :(

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:04, Reply)
Who (pffts) are your top 3 Doctor Who actors?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:07, Reply)
David Tennant, Tom Baker, Peter Davidson
(except that he spawned the woman who's taking Tennant off the market)
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:09, Reply)
Aw, fucksocks
is he still knobbing that lass who played his daughter?
(berk, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:11, Reply)
:(
www.theregister.co.uk/2011/01/05/who_marriage/
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:12, Reply)
Yeah, just wiki'd it
hasn't been confirmed by their agents, though.
(berk, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:13, Reply)
So you've only a passing interest, yes berk?
Waiting for agents to confirm....

Have a word with yourself.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:19, Reply)
she has a reasonable
attitude to this situation. Have you seen him?
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:22, Reply)
He. Is. Still. Scottish.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:27, Reply)
He. Is. Still. Fucking. Hot.
the scottishness only improves the picture.
(berk, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:29, Reply)
*agrees*

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:31, Reply)
Double gay.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:35, Reply)
Gay.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:35, Reply)
Ah, shush
He is all tasty manly goodness, which doesn't make me in the least bit gay.
(berk, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:37, Reply)
Two hearts?
Living in just one mind.

It is FAR too Phil Collins for my liking!
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:38, Reply)
I for one would be upset if the father of the bride
Turned up with a flower on his lapel.

Celery or NOTHING.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:15, Reply)
YES!

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:16, Reply)
I've been a bit of a geek there haven't I?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:18, Reply)
like that would be noticable round here

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:20, Reply)
True.
I'll say 3 'Hail Marys' just to be on the safe side all the same.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:28, Reply)
Bit of a Greek, more like.
You uphill gardener.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:29, Reply)
Fuck you Stavros Flatley*
*Or however the fuck you spell it.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:35, Reply)
fuck this shit
I keep whining about this. I'm getting boring. Right, new rule, I only talk about this shit if something interesting happens, right? right.
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:07, Reply)
What are we supposed to do?
If we can't champion your misery?

We ALL need a reason to feel better than someone else. You complain away.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:29, Reply)
i was boring myself
that is definitely a bad sign
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:34, Reply)
alright Monty you tremendous quender?
YEAH BOYCE!

Public Enemy lols.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:03, Reply)
I can't do it.
I'm going to fail and there's nothing I can do about it.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:07, Reply)
Fail at what?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:07, Reply)
exams

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:08, Reply)
What are you studying?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:13, Reply)
5 modules
Medical virology
Bacterial structure and function
Genome maintenance and evolution
Introduction to immunology
Gene expression
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:18, Reply)
Genome maintenance and evolution
They started off as stand-alone items, usually unpainted.

Then they were given fishing rods and colour.

(Sorry, this is far too high-brow for me)
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:20, Reply)
rubbish
you're be absolutely fine
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:07, Reply)
No I'm not
I can remember literally nothing I've done so far
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:09, Reply)
Because you're panicking
look through your notecards. If I can pass a year at uni you're guaranteed to
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:10, Reply)
Notecards?
We never had them in the 60s.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:23, Reply)
I've never had them at all
but supposedly people use them to revise. I'm just fitting in with the cool kids Monty
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:29, Reply)
you need to relax
this is shit advice, but it works, helps your subconscious do some rummaging around to get answers. It's how I used to write essays and how I blag lectures
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:10, Reply)
Don't worry about it
You'll remember stuff when you're in the exam. You'll pass, carry on learning and taking exams and passing until you get your degree, then get a job, work until you are allowed to retire aged 95, then get no state pension and die.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:19, Reply)
in a good mood, still, then?

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:21, Reply)
I'm actually in a good mood
Just being realistic ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:24, Reply)
if we're really lucky
they will drag out our ability to live way past 100, so we can spend either years in poverty in moderate health, or work until our brains explode at 167
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:30, Reply)
Fuck that.
After a month of retirement I'm killing myself. Unless I'm rich, of course.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:36, Reply)
ha! you can't
they've turned most of your body cyborg and installed a Asimovian style system of laws which govern your behaviour including one which prevents self harm

bad luck. Now you must tend the garden for all eternity
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:39, Reply)
Haha!!
It's funny because it's very likely to happen.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:42, Reply)
AFFIRMATIVE

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:45, Reply)
+ MISTRESS?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:52, Reply)
??
is this some kind of reference to sexy robot dominatrix gender confusion porn I am not aware of?
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:54, Reply)
K9 innit?

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 15 Jan 2011, 1:05, Reply)
Correct DG.
*Crunchy loses WHO points*
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 1:07, Reply)
but lab isn't a woman
plus, I clearly was thinking of rude things, I blame Tennant
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 1:08, Reply)
Too little too late.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 1:16, Reply)
sexy K9?

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 1:08, Reply)
I can't stop crying and I've
GOT NO FUCKING TISSUES
I kind of don't give a shit about whether or not I get a pension or not at the moment
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:24, Reply)
Use a sock, Luke.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:25, Reply)
And now my notes are all wet.
Fucking fabulous
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:26, Reply)
punch something
but not with your writing hand
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:26, Reply)
What have you been doing with them?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:29, Reply)
Testing their sponge qualities apparently

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:30, Reply)
Nor should you
You just need to MTFU, remember what you are saved as in my phone, realise youve got this nailed and kick the arse out if this exam.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:26, Reply)
I can't remember

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:30, Reply)
I really need someone to calm me down.
I've got loads still to do before I can go to bed, my housemates are all in the same boat so I don't want to distur them, it's too late to ring my mum and I don't want the boy seeing me looking this hideous.

There's no one else irl.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:34, Reply)
'the boy' will have to see you looking
bad at some point
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:35, Reply)
Oh he sees me looking bad all the time
You're underestimating how ugly I get when I cry.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:36, Reply)
do it anyway
I suspect that this is not his opinion
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:42, Reply)
phone the boy
he can't see you, and he's going to have to hear you crying some time.
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:35, Reply)
I have done
Feel better already.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:51, Reply)
You get marks for breathing in exams these days.
If you let out an 'SBD' you get a 'platinum A* with strontium edging and a lifetime supply of Bounty kitchen towels'.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:24, Reply)
I don't know what any of that means

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:31, Reply)
Apples, Apples Apples....
When you reach my antiquated years you realise that almost every single person on earth is a fucking retard. The fact that you aren't one puts you at an instant huge advantage over everyone else and you will do absolutely fine in life on that basis, even if you completely bollocks up your education - which you won't, anyway. You're a bright woman - so hush yo' mouth.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:35, Reply)
Thanks Monty, that made me laugh a little bit.
You saying that... I feel so validated
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:39, Reply)
The fact that at this time of night he can still see the keyboard suggests he means it.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:42, Reply)
only if you think that way
anyway, at what?
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:08, Reply)
see above

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:10, Reply)
Of course you aren't
have you got some mock papers or something you can practise with?
(berk, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:17, Reply)
Yeah
But nothing on the past papers will be on the real thing
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:21, Reply)
Well, the exact same question
no, it's unlikely. But similar questions in the same areas, probably. Lecturers are lazy.
(berk, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:24, Reply)
hey! I resemble that remark

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:26, Reply)
The British 70s pop-soul act?
I'm not surprised, even in these dumbed-down times.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=yT1iDKkZNYU
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:27, Reply)
Monty.
My browsing took me in this direction today.

I'll bet you've not heard it in years. It'll serve no purpose, only than it'll get on your internal jukebox, but when did you last hear this?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=HfEsmXbjcyg
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:32, Reply)
Haha, harsh!

(berk, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:34, Reply)
You ever heard it before berk?
Given your youth, I'm guessing not...
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:37, Reply)
Can't say that I have

(berk, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:40, Reply)
Is the line
'Nice legs, shame about the face' in your head?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:41, Reply)
No
'Message for youuuuuuu Rudy' is.
(berk, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:42, Reply)
The original, I hope.
(it's 'to you' acksherlee)
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:44, Reply)
So it is
apologies. It's The Specials version, I have no idea if that's the original but I suspect it's an early cover if it is one.
(berk, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:46, Reply)
berk.
I maintain this is a nice tune.

I'd value your opinion.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=puz7ItObqfY
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:53, Reply)
Ah, this is the one Bob slagged off?
I like it.
(berk, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:54, Reply)
Of course.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 1:15, Reply)
This is 84.2 billion times better than The Special Needs:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=BwuTHjoOOtk
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 1:15, Reply)
Duly noted

(berk, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 1:17, Reply)
And when you're done with that.
Have a go on this.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=FPNgdZu7BBY
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 1:19, Reply)
This
www.youtube.com/watch?v=LC4IBOVEsPs

more recent, obviously, but the beat is similar. *wiggles*
(berk, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 1:22, Reply)
I KNOW HOW RAPED WOMEN FEEL
*May have been a bit strong there*

berk. Have a word with yourself.

Come on love, get a grip.

(I hope the *wiggle* is the wiggling finger of mockery)
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 1:24, Reply)
Oi
what's wrong with that song?
(berk, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 1:25, Reply)
No Scotsman should make music like that.
IT'S THE LAW.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 1:26, Reply)
Why?
with a name like paolo nutini, he can't be all that scottish.
(berk, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 1:28, Reply)
Okay.
Factor into the equation it isn't a very good song, but it sounds a bit 'different' from what was being released at the time and that is all you get.

He should still to getting letter from America, or making tea for people who've walked 500 miles.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 1:30, Reply)
I like it
*shrugs* it's catchy. I like all sorts of old bollocks, and simply because I'm a sucker for a good hook.
(berk, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 1:32, Reply)
Wanna contiune with the tried and trusted Jeff and Berk show?
New gaz required.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 1:34, Reply)
I think this one is more fitting at this juncture:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=5_3EAYL4Zw4&feature=related
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:38, Reply)
Some retro smiles here.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=2jF33OS4OM8
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:41, Reply)
Some retro Smiley here:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jOjZKDoo08
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:43, Reply)
I've not heard that in YEARS
Have a go on this.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=1N2CiNXjX64

Apparently the BBC orchestra were contracted to play for ALL singers, so the story goes, 'the music made no sense'.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:48, Reply)
That's an awesome 'fro/NHS glasses combo she's got going on.

(berk, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:49, Reply)
I like their khaki suits an ting

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 1:06, Reply)
My dad had the single of that.
I sold it for ye drugges in the 1980s. A bloke I know (unfortunately he's the same fellow who flushed all that weed down the khazi in my 'QOTW Lie' the other week) actually knows Smiley Culture and has been round his house. He used to work in TV and for some 'where are they now?' doc they went round his house in Surrey. Apparently as they were pulling out of his drive he told them to watch out for the gateposts and my chum swears on his life he replied 'me is an expert dri-vahh' at which senor Culture pissed his pants.

This sounds like another lie doesn't it?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:54, Reply)
I assume 87% of your
"i knew [ vaguely famous person] and [insert unlikely scenario]" stories are lies
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:56, Reply)
You're a terrible name dropping shit
but generally I believe you.
(berk, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:58, Reply)
On my honour they are all completely true.
Most of my yarns (read: all) concern people about whom nobody gives a shit about so if it is internet respeck I am looking for I am not very good at it EH
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 1:03, Reply)
A mate of mine is a record collecting type
And he turned down the chance to buy 'everything' mowtown had ever released as they were all ex-jukebox and had the centre of the record removed. Apparently the collection was cataloged and everything

The price he was quoted? £750.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 1:02, Reply)
Is that the lawnmower wholesaler in Romford?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 1:04, Reply)
No.
He has 4 copies of a Cajun Hearts single that are apparently rare as rocking-horse shit.

His collection is huge. Never gets played.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 1:06, Reply)
That was a 'Mowtown' gag Jeff
it's 'Motown'. I'm hilarious.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 1:19, Reply)
Sorry mate.
I'm drunk and stuffed!

His record collection though, is massive. He'll get the same track by the same artist - if it has been recorded on different labels, and all that sort of thing.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 1:20, Reply)
ALSO
a photographer on a work shoot I did once told me his dad was a violinist for the BBC and played on the Ramones' TOTP performance of 'Baby I Love You'. One of his thick schoolfriends apparently said 'fucking hell Tony, I never knew your dad was in The Ramones!
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:59, Reply)
Have you come across Derek on your travels?
www.thisisbristol.co.uk/news/Meet-DJ-Derek/article-678558-detail/article.html
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 1:11, Reply)
my brother used to rave about his Manchester sets.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 1:16, Reply)
Those crazy pill-popping Mancs will rave to anything!
*Takes disco biscuit*

Always worth seeing Derek if you get the chance, the crowd that follow him are quite sound.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 1:22, Reply)
Tut tut
what have you found down the back of your sofa now?
(berk, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 0:41, Reply)
Lord Lucan

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 1:05, Reply)
you need to let him go Monty

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 15 Jan 2011, 1:12, Reply)

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