Monty, the tubey bastards have closed district from embankment all the way east to Dagenham east purely to satotage Montfest. I think a stronely worded letter needs to be written. For everyone else going, check local busses. This public service announcement has been brought to you by me, that'll be a pint please (and the circle line and of course H&C is closed just in case more people go "dur the yellow line goes there")
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 16:24, 43 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I wish I was as cool as you.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 16:28, Reply)

We got a room going for rent pretty soon.
Not being funny, but you and your misses are never going to last to your silver anniversary, so now is as good a time as any to leave her and move in with is. Don't let the grass grow under your feet, you're no spring chicken anymore,
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 16:47, Reply)

Oh boy, oh gosh, oh really, do you really think I could move in with you guys?
It'd be like an episode of the best ever sit-com, me and TGB would immediately fall into a passionate physical relationship, but then we'd break up and then a series of hilarious adventures would ensue and eventually we'd get back together at the end of the series.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 16:51, Reply)

oh I don't know if I want to break up with you :(
I think I'd guilt you into staying with me and then the hate would well up and you'd jump off the roof to your death
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 16:53, Reply)

This could be the vest decision of my life
Although I think I'd prefer it if I finally just lose it and stab you to death over the breakfast table before slitting my own throat.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 16:55, Reply)

Hay, if badge's room is free then, maybe your wife would want the room?
Or would it make things awquard for me? I don't want to feel awquard.... Maybe its best you don't stab her?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 17:05, Reply)

just remember, Chandler is the one who ends up with the girl, not Joey.
Is just a shame that I'm more like gunthor =(((((
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 16:54, Reply)

gunthor marcel
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 16:57, Reply)

I was planning to get the circle line to Aldgate then walk
can someone who knows london tell me why that's a bad idea.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 16:33, Reply)

Because no tubes are going to Aldgate

(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 16:37, Reply)

Good point.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 16:41, Reply)

but the hammersmith and city line might go to aldgate east
train from MK to euston. walk 2 mins to euston square. pink line to aldgate east. sorted.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 16:57, Reply)

No it isn't
Do you think we're just making this shit up or something Swipey?
(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 17:02, Reply)

meh

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 17:12, Reply)

HAHAHAHAHAH
H&C running on the weekend? Pull the other one
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 17:04, Reply)

When I went I walked from Aldgate East and that was fine
Aldgate is only 3 or 4 minutes further on foot.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 16:38, Reply)

See above

(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 16:40, Reply)

Oh, you Londoners and your intimate knowledge of local public transportation systems.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 19 Jan 2011, 16:42, Reply)

you not coming then?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 16:33, Reply)

not now

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 16:34, Reply)

But surely there are other ways of getting there?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 16:38, Reply)

Don't be pathetic
Piccadilly to Kings Cross, Northern to Bank and then walk, it's only ten minutes.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 16:38, Reply)

That's what I'll do, looks a bit longer than 10 mins but less than 20.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 16:42, Reply)

Actually, you might as well just get off at Moorgate
it's about the same distance.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 16:44, Reply)

Looks like a mile and a half on google maps
that's nothing lets just hope it doesn't snow.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 16:47, Reply)

if it snows
walking is the least of your problems in London.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 16:51, Reply)

The biggest problem is stopping monty trying to sniff it off the pavement.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 16:52, Reply)

I'd care, but you know how I feel about London
you're lucky you have a tube system
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 16:37, Reply)

it's cool, I'm walking there

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 16:38, Reply)

Sweeeeet, I'll bring you a couple of beers along.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 16:40, Reply)

I'm gonna fly

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 16:41, Reply)

T
A

X

I
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 16:44, Reply)

good film
the second one was as well
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 16:47, Reply)

the black shiny things with wheels are the solution to all these dilemmas
AND they mean no inhaling years of other people's stinky sweat/breath/farts, which is what the district line means!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 16:49, Reply)

Meh, the district line is above ground or at worst only just sub-surface
It's one of the more pleasantly fragrant of the tube system. Pity it's worthlessly unreliable, always closed and goes to Dagenham, really.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 16:50, Reply)

i hate it with a passion
i only approve of the central line, the vicky line and the jubilee line really. but as i don't live anywhere near them, and the buses take forever (my american flatmate announced at 8am today that she was off to camden by bus. she had to be there by 9am. we live on high street kensington. but apparently the TFL website assured her it would take 51 minutes............ i sent her on the tube), it is either the shitty district/pic/circle lines, or a taxi!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 16:53, Reply)

The problem with the Vicky line
is it takes you from somewhere you don't want to be to somewhere you really don't want to be.

Actually, that pretty much covers the central line too. But hey, it's shiny and red.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 16:55, Reply)

the vicky line, hell yes
the central line goes to notting hill and holland park, that bit of it is ok. and bank.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 16:58, Reply)

I was generally talking about the ends.
most lines go through a bit of the middle that is OK. Although I'm struggling even with that for the vicky line
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 17:05, Reply)

there is victoria itself
and green park - mmm, langans. and the ritz. and mahiki.

that's about it.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 17:08, Reply)

The ends of all the lines are shit and for cunts.
Even Richmond.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 17:09, Reply)

epic shitcunts, in Richmond
couple of nice bars, mind you. And you can always throw a couple of braying chinless bankers into the river.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 17:17, Reply)

American remake was a fucking travesty.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 16:49, Reply)

Bugger off posh girl
us proles are discussing how normal people will do it.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 16:48, Reply)

al
look again at the people in this thread who are discussing it. now tell me how the word "normal" is in ANY WAY applicable.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 16:49, Reply)

^this
Although if Gonz does make it he'd get a taxi even if the tubes were running
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 16:50, Reply)

well yeah
so would i, totally. moorgate to tayabs is going to be a tenner in a cab, tops. saving yourself a cold/wet 25 min walk that ruins your hair and clothes, or a stinking tube ride - it's cheap at twice the price!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 16:54, Reply)

I don't have a problem with spending cash on a cab to get somewhere if I need to be there and I'm running late.
It's my own fault for running late.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 17:29, Reply)

This is, basically, because London is a pile of shit.
I'm amazed it's taken you this long to notice.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 16:49, Reply)

YEAH! THIS!

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 17:00, Reply)

So's your face

(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 17:00, Reply)

I struggle to think of anywhere else in the world
that can take such a potentially brilliant public transport system and conspire to make an unmitigated bollocks of the whole thing. It's almost genius in its fuckwittery.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 17:09, Reply)

Oh for fuck's sake.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 17:06, Reply)

at TFL being shit, or me posting shit?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 17:11, Reply)

At the big shit he just had
he's run out of loo roll.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 17:19, Reply)

I'm like the Queen: I don't shit.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 17:40, Reply)

that's why you're full of it

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 17:55, Reply)

The former.
Do please try to be intrepid and make it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 17:40, Reply)

Wouldn't miss it Monty old chap
Worst case I'll bloody well walk there*

*and die as I am so unfit
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 17:42, Reply)

I was just bouncing round the house
and my tight split with a a comedy ripping noise. And only I was there to laugh about it
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 17:35, Reply)

check this out for a ropey email
so this guy who tries to get me to go out with him from time to time emails me for the first time since november:

"sorry i didn't make it to london over christmas after all, but i ended up bonking that teacher i was groping - luvvly jubbly"

what is the MATTER with some people?!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 17:45, Reply)

You could make a fortune selling this stuff in book form
Messages from the Hugzmonster and Friends
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 17:50, Reply)

hugs4u lol.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 17:54, Reply)

funnily enough
this is exactly what i intend to do. chick-lit ftw.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 17:57, Reply)

And then like the wind of a thousand storms, he had the look of a man who's had a thousand lovers...
.... he walked up to the very plain and generally dull shopkeeper and said to her with abated breath "These are the shoes my wife wants, this is the only pare of them. And it would be an honnor if you, 'slightly pretty but ever so plain in your work clothes girl', would have them instead of her. You see, I am a very loanly rich man with a big penis and a bumbling way about me. It would do me the honnor if you would piss my wife off, that rancid bitch, by having these shoes".

She then looked up from the desk into his eyes and smiled, "Cash or cheque?".
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 18:02, Reply)

I would buy a copy of that book.

(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 19 Jan 2011, 18:11, Reply)