Talk to me on the phone
This is especially good timing as I've been sat listening to this complete mong of a woman struggling with our exceptionally user-friendly, theoretically idiot-proof order form for nearly 20 minutes.

I'm aware that by definition anything which results in the user struggling to use it is not user-friendly. However I would argue that the exception to this rule is when said user is an absolute fucktard.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 11:08, 3 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Press 9 if you are a fucktard and would like to speak to Darthfoxtrot

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 11:10, Reply)

She's still on the phone
23 minutes and counting. If I was religious I'd blow something up. Please restrain yourselves from making any "suicide bummer" comments
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 11:14, Reply)

THWARTED

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 11:15, Reply)

You only converted to Islam because you misread the word Iman.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 11:25, Reply)

as "in-man" if you hadn't worked that out.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 11:25, Reply)

that was poor
even by your usual standards
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 11:27, Reply)

Lies online.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 11:29, Reply)

or the Daily Mail
to use the common name
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 11:30, Reply)

Technically that should be the website address
but I can't bring myself to type it out and thereby create a link. Or, as it should be known, a portal to a world of ill-informed hatred
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 11:39, Reply)

John?

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 11:27, Reply)

This is poor

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 11:28, Reply)

i thought it was a response to some apple advert

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 11:30, Reply)

It's funny because - oh, hang on, no it isn't....

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 11:31, Reply)

I still got a reaction!
Another win for me online.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 11:33, Reply)

You need to learn the difference between good attention and bad attention

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 11:34, Reply)

Ah the old 'Bert defence'.
Well played.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 11:35, Reply)

The best you've ever read

(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 11:36, Reply)

Hahah

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 11:38, Reply)

Imam.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 11:33, Reply)

Iman
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 11:34, Reply)

www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=suck+my+balls
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 11:35, Reply)

Touché

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 11:37, Reply)

there is a touching pun in here somewhere

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 11:39, Reply)

You want me to touch Noel's balls?
I don't want to do that.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 11:40, Reply)

Lies, online.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 11:41, Reply)

You want in too?
Could get a tripod ball-cupping thing going on.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 11:43, Reply)

circlejerk

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 11:50, Reply)

omg
two members of the tripod touching each other? whilst monty watches (see his post below)?

somewhere the women of b3ta are all melting into a frothing, fizzing mass of lust.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 11:44, Reply)

-puts hand up-

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 12:04, Reply)

*loses watch*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 12:10, Reply)

You mean b3ta as a whole I take it

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 11:40, Reply)

I like that people who have a belief in the unseen
are called Moomins.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 11:55, Reply)

Did she go "AHHHHHH, YAH _GAYLORD_ BEING ON TELLY ! HELLO MY NAME IS MARTIN, I AM 32 AND FROM NORFOLK. I AM A TELECOMUNICATIONS ANALYST" ?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 11:33, Reply)

Norwich. NORWICH, Gonz
Don't you listen to anything I say?

Oh
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 11:37, Reply)

I'll be honest with you, Darth, I can't pick and choose which information my brain decides to remember.
Yesteray I knew that fermented korian spicy cabbage is called "Kim chi", however, I can't tell you what I had for dinner.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 12:00, Reply)

Nothing is foolproof
to a sufficiently talented fool.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 11:37, Reply)

shiny candle for you
i read that as well done, you've wasted another year of your life.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 11:38, Reply)

8 fucking years, rswipe.
8 years. Dear god.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 11:41, Reply)

god
your username is older than mine, and i thought i was a rare vintage around these OT parts!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 11:43, Reply)

I have a mere 7 years, 0 months and 21 days to my name.
*cries*


*checks and sees that mine is older than yours*

*cries again*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 11:45, Reply)

5 years and 9 months???
erk
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 11:48, Reply)

oh god damn it
i'll just sit here in a heap of my own self-pitying noob-ness then.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 11:49, Reply)

I did my apprenticeship on /board
served time on /talk. I'm a well-rounded forum member, me.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 11:51, Reply)

Piss off to /links.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 11:54, Reply)

steady, Noel.
there's a upper limit to my cuntiness.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 11:56, Reply)

You are but a young'un
Back in my day, all we had to drink were wet gravel to suck on.

Etc
( Kroney, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 11:47, Reply)

gravel cock

/sorry
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 11:50, Reply)

Magenta or glass?

( Kroney, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 11:50, Reply)

True dat
A response AND an example. Who says men can't multitask?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 11:38, Reply)

It's bollocks that women can multi task.
I told my wife sit down and shut up...can she do it? Not in the slightest
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 11:41, Reply)

Hahaha

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 11:44, Reply)

UR Bernard Manning AICMFPies

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 11:47, Reply)

Is that you, Jim Davison?

( Kroney, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 11:49, Reply)