the sleep therapy suite at the spa on sunday was torture
we were in this darkened room with candles and scents and you lie on these warm soft beds which massage your back and legs and emit some sort of waves to put you to sleep. allegedly. then you listen to this woman yammering on about a pleasure garden on some headphones and soothing plinky plonky music. every other woman in the room was loving it and was sparked out.

now i can't lie still for a minute at the best of times, and being made to go to sleep at 12.30pm was just weird to me. i was the only one thrashing around and sighing whilst they were all flat out and loving it.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 15:32, 3 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Well, if you gotta wank, you gotta wank

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 15:34, Reply)

must you always lower the tone?
we are talking about SLEEP THERAPY here. my friend thought i needed it because i never sleep and i can't lie still. in actual fact she was immediately hypnotised into a deep sleep whilst i lay staring at the dark ceiling and trying not to fall off the massaging bed.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 15:35, Reply)

I quote " i was the only one thrashing around and sighing"
I cannot sleep much either - its fucking depressing
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 15:38, Reply)

perverted man is perverted

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 15:39, Reply)

On here??
whoodathunkit?

My main sleeping problem is that as soon as I wake up by brain starts thinking about absolute rubbish and then I cant get back to sleep
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 15:41, Reply)

That's guilt, that is.
Guilt and fear of arrest.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 15:40, Reply)

nail on head

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 15:41, Reply)

Is this some kind of confession?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 15:45, Reply)

errr, no....
*looks around nervously*
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 15:46, Reply)

I would so love to try this
having said that, I can pretty much sleep anywhere, at any time. If it didn't make me look like a complete waster, I'd list it on my CV as one of my hobbies and/or special talents.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 7 Feb 2011, 15:38, Reply)

be alright if you were applying to dreams or silent-night or something

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 15:39, Reply)

Oh man we'd be ace at parties.
I have fallen asleep on a speaker stack, across two kitchen chairs, with my eyes open, under a parka on couch with wooden arms, on a floor next to smelly feet. You name it.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 15:41, Reply)

Hahaha, this
I fall asleep ridiculously early at almost every party I go to, I've slept through plate-hurling arguments, through police, through kitchen doors getting kicked down...
(berk, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 15:50, Reply)

Snap!
I got sent home from the curry night by 11 on Friday because "Rootz! Rootz! Your eyes are going!"
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 15:56, Reply)

Haha, I have been kicked out of clubs for same
I wouldn't mind so much, but both times that's happened I wasn't even especially drunk, just tired. I blame the DJ, if the music hadn't been shit I wouldn't have sat down and nodded off...
(berk, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:00, Reply)

I've once fallen asleep in a club
and apparently I slept through that earthquake we had a few years ago.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:05, Reply)

When I fell asleep on the speaker stack...
very loud club.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:08, Reply)

I fell asleep with my head in a bass bin at a rave once.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:16, Reply)

Is a bass bin a more solid version of the 'keep-net' that most fishermen use?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:29, Reply)

No.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:37, Reply)

yes, I was asked to leave a reet posh 'otel round here
because I took 40 winks in the winged Chesterfield one night.
Oops.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:06, Reply)

DJ or JD?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:10, Reply)

JD is disgusting stuff.
I would be sick, not sit down, if I were drinking that.
(berk, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:12, Reply)

If you were busying throwing up you'd probably be awake though.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:30, Reply)

Until you fall asleep in a pile of your own vomit and shit
only to wake up in the morning naked and wrapped around the toilet, with the family dog eating chunks of pizza off your soiled torso; I hate funerals.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:32, Reply)

I don't think I could sleep on a moving/massaging bed
But I have fallen asleep in a caldarium on a stone bed thing (curved/contoured, not a flat slab).
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 15:36, Reply)

oh i love those
moddershall oaks, best spa in england (rswipe ranking, nothing official, no liability for warranty accepted), has them...... warmed curved stone slabs, they were AMAZING.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 15:38, Reply)

The spa at Alton Towers has them too
Em and I had the place to ourselves for 4 hours.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 15:41, Reply)

the only problem with that is
that if you are at alton towers, why go in the spa? ROLLERCOASTERS man! i could live at alton towers, i really could.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 15:44, Reply)

We had two days there, and the park was open until 9pm each night for Halloween
By halfway through the 2nd day Em was knackered, and the Spa was half price. It was her birthday, so I treated her.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 15:46, Reply)

fair enough
but when you take me, can we just stay on the rollercoasters all day?

with a break for the water rides, natch.

ta.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 15:51, Reply)

Sure thing
We also did the water park, though that was disappointing compared to the rollercoasters.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 15:53, Reply)

how did your hair look after a couple of hours on the rollercoasters??

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:01, Reply)

It was down to start, it was a rainy day.
But the time before it managed to withstand all the rides and still be standing proud.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:02, Reply)

Seriously?
I genuinely thought you were an adult.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 15:50, Reply)

no you didn't!
but come on, rollercoasters? i'll take you for a trip in my car with the roof down, it's about as close as we can get down here.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 15:53, Reply)

I really did.
Rollercoasters are shit. If I want motion sickness I shall drink two bottles of red wine then smoke a bong of Afghani hashish, thanks all the same.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 15:56, Reply)

You're a massive girl then, clearly.
Motion sickness only happens to the women and the gays. The rest of us enjoy the battering it gives your senses.

Especially Nemesis, best fucking ride I've been on.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:00, Reply)

Nemesis was the first rollercoaster I went on
a couple of years ago.

my view is "meh". It was alright. I had no particular desire to do it again. Prefer rides like the rapids, if I were forced to choose.

Would rather go surfing
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:05, Reply)

I thought Oblivion was awesome
Until I did a tandem skydive. Now it's positively tame in comparison.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:06, Reply)

I could watch Oblivion for ages
and did in fact, while my mrs queued and went on it. I'm pretty bad with heights so didn't bother even trying it.

As a piece of engineering (and sculpture to some extent) it is brilliant
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:09, Reply)

It's a great ride
Em hated it though, so didn't get to go on it last time.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:10, Reply)

you should use the "no mates" queue. Means you get to go on really quickly

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:11, Reply)

That's the only queue he can in all honesty use.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:12, Reply)

I find it pretty dull

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:14, Reply)

I like it enough to do it once per trip
But Nemesis I'd go on as many times as possible.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:17, Reply)

Yep, I'm exactly the same
Did it 4 times in a row a couple of years back (we go the 2nd week of September, park is near empty)
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:22, Reply)

I also think oblivion is awesome.
I don't need to go to a ghastly 'fun' park filled with grotty proles and general cunts to attain it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:11, Reply)

If you're scared of the big rides Monty.
You could always go on the tea-cups or dodgems.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:13, Reply)

I'm scared of the poor people.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:14, Reply)

I don't know if they have a hall of mirrors.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:15, Reply)

Oof.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:17, Reply)

Sorry mate.
I felt bad for a fraction of a second when I posted it, if that makes you feel any better.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:19, Reply)

Much
*eats Chinese noodles*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:38, Reply)

watch it Scrooge McDuck - value "super" noodles only for you!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:40, Reply)

First one for me was The Antelope at Gulliver's World Of Adventures. That was fucking shit.
I love Nemesis, although I think The Big One in Blackpool is boring as hell.

I'd love to go on Kingda Ka one day though, it looks fucking immense
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:10, Reply)

ah well
we have to have some divergence of interests, darling
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:03, Reply)

He's right you know, after twelve it's only teens confused about their sexuality and lack of social acceptance and fat peedos with jam-jar glasses who frequent them

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:06, Reply)

i am wondering which of these categories i fit into
i think it has to be the latter on the basis that i kissed goodbye to my teens 100 years ago.

god you always make me feel so damn GOOD about myself.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:07, Reply)

It's a generalisation that holds true, get with the bongs
Chins up, you'll soon only have one to be downcast with
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:09, Reply)

I fucking love you.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:13, Reply)

xxx

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:20, Reply)

but i like the way they make me feel inside
isn't that a good reason to justify anything?

well, except that you deviant, that's just Nasty.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:20, Reply)

What's wrong with anal?
Well as long as you don't suffer from mustybumitis that is.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:28, Reply)

POTD

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 16:35, Reply)

Are you a fucking Roman?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 15:39, Reply)

After a few drinks I have Roman Hands
of course I'm kidding, I'm a perfect gent
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 15:41, Reply)

I'd have pissed myself.
The temptation to break out my best Partridge impression and refer to 'bark trunks' would have been impossible to suppress.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 15:38, Reply)

it was really intensely irritating, she had a mystic meg voice
you are standing by a waaaaaater-faaaaaaalllllll. the graaaaaaaaaaass is soffffffffft on your feeeeeeeeeeeeeeet.

urgh. should have taken my ipod and had a disco in the dark.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 15:39, Reply)