One more lesson evaluation to go and I'm losing the will to live.
What are you putting off at the moment fellow b3tans?

Alt Q: Recurring nightmares, do you, or have you ever had any?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:16, 120 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

yeah, I occasionally get one where I'm covered in spiders.
I usually wake up screaming from that one.

I'm putting off cleaning out my cupboards at the moment, but I really, really need to.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:20, Reply)

Unblocking the bathroom sink, as I'll have to take the U-bend apart and fish out all the gunk.
I've got some plugs for my nose, but that rotten-egg smell is already stinking the out bathroom. It will not be a pleasant job.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:20, Reply)

I did the shower the other day it was how I imagine a zombie to smell.
I gagged several times.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:21, Reply)

do chemicals not work?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:22, Reply)

this - could you not run some caustic soda through the pipes to clean out whatever's blocking it?

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:23, Reply)

It's taking the sink 16 hours to drain at the moment.
Also, it's mostly old hair and greb - you'd need something like Magic Acid to shift it in reasonable time.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:28, Reply)

Just hold half a lemon in your mouth while you do it
it neutralizes the smell.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:30, Reply)

Nah, you can get some decent drain unblockers from the supermarket
or failing that, you can buy this drain unclogging stuff which is 98% sulphuric acid from B&Q...
(berk, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:31, Reply)

Hmm.
I don't have a car, and the nearest B&Qs are a fair distance.

Actually fuck it, I'm going to stop bleating online and do it now.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:41, Reply)

It was a spur of the moment thing and I just didn't think it through.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:24, Reply)

I got most of the little jobs I'd been putting off done today
no recurring nightmares, but recurring places in which the dreams take place (non of which exist in real life, but in some cases I now know the way around)

oh! except the ones with the talking lifts, but they aren't always nightmares, depends where the lift goes
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:21, Reply)

so long as they're not like the lifts in the last season of doctor who...
then you'll be right..
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:25, Reply)

i don't remember a lift?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:27, Reply)

Episode two.
The Beast Below.

the floors of the lifts and voting booths disappear to feed the star whale. The people get fed to an alien, in other words.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:30, Reply)

oh yeah!
they are sometimes a bit like that, but more dark and dingey and create a sense of fear and ominousness when you're in them
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:31, Reply)

I hate lifts. I get all claustrophobic in them.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:35, Reply)

i don't
unless they resemble ones in my dreams. There's one in Cardiff museum that freaks me out a bit
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:36, Reply)

ahaha I don't mind them if they're large and spacious.
but if they're small and dingy, then i have a bit of a problem.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:44, Reply)

I am putting off ironing tomorrow's shirt.
And I have a recurring nightmare where I am faced with Swipe, Amberl and Lampito. The three queens of OT. They demand that I have to go head to head with Jeff in a poodle intercourse contest.

The loser gets bummed by Jeff Goldblum as Brundlefly.

It gets a fuck of a lot more nightmarish from there on in.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:25, Reply)

Crippling loneliness.
I used to have one when I was a nipper, I'd be standing on the lip of a volcano looking down into the lava below, knowing that at some point I had to jump in. Fuck knows why...
Anyway, before I was ready (to jump in to the burny lava) it came up towards me in a massive bubble and then I slipped, falling down towards it
Always woke up before I hit it though.
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:27, Reply)

That's just plain weird.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:27, Reply)

It really was. I'd say I had that dream quite a few times from the ages of about 5-9.
I remember most of it, really bright orange and red.
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:31, Reply)

Eat less curry

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:31, Reply)

I didn't even know what curry was away back then.
Maybe curry was the cure.
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:32, Reply)

I keep meaning to put the handles on our new cupboard
but until then we'll have to keep opening it with out fingertips.

I have a nightmare that people think badly of me on this site. Then I realise no-one could ever think badly of me.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:27, Reply)

Yes but Al you're a cunt.
You are the B3tan Simon Cowell.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:30, Reply)

I'm an odious little bitch too
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1075773
(Bazongaloid, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:31, Reply)

haha you do invoke some brilliant reactions from people.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:33, Reply)

I'm impressed that I managed to rile Cancer Joy too, since he/she has always been so cynical of everything.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:34, Reply)

Everyone has their limit though,
Kristine managed to banish whatshisface all by herself.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:37, Reply)

Also, I often used to dream about shrinking to one inch in height, being nearly weightless and aimlessly drifting about the room without any control over my motion.
Not had that for years now.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:30, Reply)

I used to have that drifting around the room/house.
I ALWAYS had it when I went on holiday to Wales. I remember one where I floated around my nans house then got "sucked" back into my body and woke up.
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:33, Reply)

Not had it at all since I started living on my own.
Funny, that.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 23:24, Reply)

when I was a kid and there was a full moon
I'd have weird hallucinatory-like dreams where things were the wrong weight or texture. That's why velour still freaks me out
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:35, Reply)

The washing up
it's getting a bit epic. I went to a carvery after the gym this evening rather than cook.

I'll have to do it tomorrow, anyway. I should go to bed soon so I'll be full of energy and thus up for it.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:32, Reply)

Will you do mine too?

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:34, Reply)

sure
we are talking about your mum, right?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:58, Reply)

I am putting off the washing up and the laundry
also applying for other PhD's as it's looking increasingly likely I'm not going to get one.

The only recurring nightmares I have tend to be ones involving my dad, but I get night paralysis sometimes which I think is worse than nightmares.
(berk, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:35, Reply)

saving for a place to move to :(
Alt: I always have nightmares about stairs, being at the top of a flight and having to step off and stretch to a different set to get where I'm going. Its terrifying.
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:37, Reply)

Oh fuck me, you would NOT believe the desert I just made.
Sauce: Mascaponi, port, vanilla essance, icing sugar
Desert: Filo pastry roll filled with 1/3 a mars bar, nutella and some of the cream.... rolled and deep fried.



*stands up to Glasgow* AND WHAT? AND WHAT? PUNK? AND WHAT?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:38, Reply)

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:40, Reply)

Jesus christ Gonz
I can feel arteries clanging shut all over my body just looking at that.
(berk, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:40, Reply)

ahaha so I'm not the only one to get that reaction!!

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:45, Reply)

I'm not saying I wouldn't try it
but dear god it looks unhealthy.
(berk, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:46, Reply)

Deffo, I made it as a desert for a dinner party (everyone loved them), it's a once in a blue moon creation.
I don't think it's any worst than a couple of Krispy Kreams though, it's not that different to a doughnut really.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:48, Reply)

I can see a face in the desert.
And not in a slapstick-comedy kind of way Gonz.

The nose is on the left. Granted, the head is a bit deformed, but a profile I see in your picture.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:57, Reply)

I see it too
and the cream looks like a giant toupé.
(berk, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 23:54, Reply)

I'm watching Mad Dogs
What are you doing?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 0:04, Reply)

This is worthy of it's own off topic.

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:40, Reply)

it was a mars bar not a topic

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:42, Reply)

I'm sure there is a Bounty of puns to be had.

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:43, Reply)

as long as we don't dairy milk it

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:43, Reply)

or get too excited and flake out

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:44, Reply)

or snicker about the rude ones

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:45, Reply)

our skills here should boost our reputations massively.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:46, Reply)

These puns are all Quality (Street)

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:49, Reply)

There will be some milky way to do it without getting carried away.

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:46, Reply)

This sounds like a job for CRUNCHIE!

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:47, Reply)

I think we are walnut whipping this to death.

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:48, Reply)

I'll take
Turkish Delight in sitting back and watching this.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:47, Reply)

I'll wispa them in your ear.

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:49, Reply)

that was shit, you have
cadburys cream egg on your face
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:49, Reply)

That was no picnic

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:50, Reply)

I think we're going off topic now

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:56, Reply)

It's a shame CHOMPy isn't here too comment.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:44, Reply)

He's never around after eight.

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:47, Reply)

Is that when he takes a Time Out?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:48, Reply)

he disappears around twighlight

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:48, Reply)

I heard he was drifter

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:48, Reply)

nah he's just beTWIXt jobs

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:50, Reply)

Do you think we should take a timeout?

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:50, Reply)

don't be such a smartiearse

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:52, Reply)

It's like a dream.

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:52, Reply)

the minstrels will sing of if throughout the galaxy

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:53, Reply)

It's all down to (Tic) Tactics.

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:54, Reply)

I like how you rose s to the challenge
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:54, Reply)

I'm a miniture hero

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:55, Reply)

Fun sized?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:55, Reply)

let me offer you a nougat of advice
fun sized isn't confectionery
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:57, Reply)

He ruined the whole fucking thing.

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:57, Reply)

he has always been a dime bar

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:58, Reply)

You'd already lost with a repeat!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:59, Reply)

:(

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 23:08, Reply)

Crunchy mates up the Pun Down rules.
Blame her.

I'd have let it go myself.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 23:13, Reply)

Multipack.

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:57, Reply)

I can't cocoa on

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:58, Reply)

or vice versa

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:54, Reply)

My god

(misusscompiler No cornflakes? No eyes? No problem !, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 23:52, Reply)

I've just been to the pub for a quick pint
And there were hundreds of frogs on the pavement. Not French folk, but swimmy-jumpy little green and brown things.

What's that all about? Where were they going? What were they doing? And why tonight?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:46, Reply)

i think one said they were going out
and everyone else should join them and the others just toad the line
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:48, Reply)

Like some sort of Frog 'Flashmob'?
How I avoided standing on any of them is a mystery.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 22:49, Reply)

Springtime innit
they were probably following some sort of primeval shag-happy path to some pond they've always reproduced in.
(berk, Thu 10 Feb 2011, 23:53, Reply)

But none of them were in the pub.
I don't understand it.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 0:05, Reply)

Haha, frogs aren't generally known for frequenting licensed establishments
are you perhaps thinking of your own shag-happy path and whether than involves drinking?
(berk, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 0:08, Reply)

I thought frogs liked getting leg-less.
1-0 Bristol.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 0:11, Reply)

If this is leading up to some terrible pun
then I shall go to bed now.
(berk, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 0:13, Reply)

No, it's not berk.
The streets really were paved with frogs this evening.

Any feedback from the interview yet?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 0:16, Reply)

Nope
They said tomorrow or Monday latest. I did get a no from Manchester though, shower of cunts that they are :(
(berk, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 0:16, Reply)

Who wants to go to Manchester eh?
This Mad Dogs I'm watching (Sky One, no idea if they've got a online player thingy) is, currently, worth watching).

I have my fingers crossed for you though, regarding Edinburgh. Were the labs nice?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 0:20, Reply)

The actual lab facilities
weren't actually all that shiny. Adequate, but not amazing. But that's possibly because it's so much busier than our labs, there's lots of Interesting Science going on there. And Edinburgh would be a great place to live.
But I really really mustn't get my hopes up, I know the chances of me getting it are slim.

EDIT - what's wrong with Manchester? It's actually a really nice city, bits of it.
(berk, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 0:23, Reply)

berk
There is nothing wrong with Manchester, other than the fact they turned you down!

I was being 'pro berk'

Edinburgh would be a cool place to live though!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 0:27, Reply)

Well, we'll see
it's the waiting now that I hate. At least with the last one I knew I'd fucked it up to a degree such that I blatantly wouldn't get it.

Hows your jobstuff going? Still thinking of moving?
(berk, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 0:28, Reply)

It's a mixed bag.
I never previously realised what a shower of cunt recruitment agencies were.

They make estate agents seem almost holy.

But I'm getting wise to the pitfalls and working from there, and making some progress. So we'll wait and see!

I'm positive though.

What fun have you got planned this weekend?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 0:33, Reply)

Might be going out tomorrow to a vintage themed night
which will be exciting if it happens, then chores and babysitting on saturday, general monging out on sunday. You?
(berk, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 0:34, Reply)

Birthday dinner and football are filling my schedule at the moment.
That'll be enough to mark the weekend.

How does the vintage night work?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 0:39, Reply)

Your birthday or somebody elses?
it's basically a sort of late-license night in a pub, playing music from the '20s to the '60s. Sometimes they have a swing band. It looks like a good giggle anyway, and they have Aspall's on tap, so.. *shrugs* it's only 15 minutes walk from mine and if it's shit I'll stay for a couple and come home again. That is, assuming I can persuade anyone to come out. I really don't fancy going on my own.
(berk, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 0:42, Reply)

Pubs on your own are brilliant.
It forces you to speak to randoms.

Granted, as a bloke this is easier, I'm sure, than if you're female. Have you lined up any company for the night?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 0:44, Reply)

*ahem*
your birthday or someone elses?
I don't mind talking to randoms as long as they talk to me first; I'm generally too shy to intrude. I've asked two girls from work but got two maybes.
(berk, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 0:49, Reply)

My birthday is in September
So it's mate!

More people should use pubs on their own, take a good book, sit near the fire and enjoy the fact you're surrounded by people.

(Is this turning into the berk and Jeff show?)
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 0:53, Reply)

I think it may be, a little
I ought to go to bed soon though. It's a bit different wandering in to a pub on your own in the early evening though, than it is to go out at night dancing and whatnot.
(berk, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 0:55, Reply)

Well I shall wish you good night.
I trust you'll wish me likewise.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 1:04, Reply)

But of course!
goodnight Jeff :)
(berk, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 1:07, Reply)

It's a very nice city, apart from Longsight, Levenshulme, Moss Side, Wythenshawe, Gorton, Burnage, Rusholme, Fallowfield, Moston, Blackley, Crumpsall, Collyhurst, Droylsden, Castlefield, Trafford, Reddish, Salford, Eccles, Swinton and Pendlebury.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 3:00, Reply)

I'm putting off going to bed.
I have drunk far too much. I don't even like drinking.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 0:41, Reply)

Did you nause off your mates potential bird?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 0:45, Reply)

She didn't turn up!
I like to think I prevented her attendance through fear. Although on a separate note all the other girls there said I looked like their mate, I told them to fuck off until they showed me a picture and he's some bloody model for American Apparel. I look nothing like him but I'm going to cling to that comparison for dear life.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 0:53, Reply)

Milk it Bazza, milk it.
If they think you look like a model, then follow it through, start with the fittest and work your way down the list!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 0:55, Reply)

The one that said it is absolutely amazing.
She has a boyfriend but on a night out after disappearing with some lad, came back and went "god, I can't fuck another person tonight or my boyfriend will go mad", so there's room to worm in there I reckon. Saying that she called me an arrogant tosser, although I think that's just an example of tough love.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 1:00, Reply)

+ You might get the complete set of STDs
You'll be able to build houses and hotels on there then.

Or am I thinking about Monopoly?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 1:03, Reply)

I would happily have my knob fall off if it meant shagging her.
I'm certain she fancies me, but is that me being an arrogant tosser like she said? I don't know.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 11 Feb 2011, 1:29, Reply)