Never will you find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy
What quotes from films, TV or song lyrics do you find yourself saying in normal conversations?

Alt Q:
Best comeback line in film or TV?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:24, 123 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

'That Sportscow is a right fucking bender'
it's from 'Sportscow is a Right Fucking Bender' by Electric Head Funk.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:28, Reply)

hahahaha

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:29, Reply)

My favourite tune

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:29, Reply)

I say 'Hello' quite often.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:29, Reply)

Was it me you were looking for?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:29, Reply)

Yes. I was thinking
'where can I find a right fucking bender?'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:30, Reply)

Darth will be along shortly
He is currently de-spunking his anus
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:32, Reply)

Sorry I'm late chaps
Bidet's broken. Had to use a hoover.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:36, Reply)

*chortle*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:38, Reply)

You're on form this morning.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:40, Reply)

Thank you
I blame the infectious vibes of a Friday morning. My office is positively bouncing with joyful exuberance.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:44, Reply)

You, earlier today.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:29, Reply)

"that'll do, donkey" from 'shrek'
complete with crap scottish accent.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:30, Reply)

Odd, I say "that'll do, pig" from 'Babe'

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:31, Reply)

same here

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:32, Reply)

haha this
you get odd looks though
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:36, Reply)

not really
my mates are like the people on here
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 11:02, Reply)

I purposely try not to quote stuff
for fear of seeming like an even bigger twat.

Alt Q: 'Nobody's perfect'
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:31, Reply)

Hahaha
Excellent choice
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:37, Reply)

One of my favourite films that

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:38, Reply)

So it should be
A near-flawless comedy
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:43, Reply)

what film is that?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:46, Reply)

Some Like it Hot
I won't spoil it for you, but if you haven't seen it you should watch it
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:49, Reply)

sounds like one of those films
I should have seen, in the sense that everyone else in the world has
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:51, Reply)

It gets shown on TV around Christmas
if I can find the disc, I'll loan it to you
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:53, Reply)

cheers

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:54, Reply)

I only saw it for the first time about 6 months ago
but yes, you should
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:54, Reply)

I'm in a hotel room with two manky hookers and a racist midget
A situation I regularly find myself in.
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:31, Reply)

Y'know, I've come across a lot of psychos, but none as fucking boring as you. You are a real boring fuck. Sorry, sorry, I know you disapprove of swearing so I'll sort that out. You are a boring F, star, star, CUNT!

(PsychoChomp, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:32, Reply)

Do you say to yourself that shortly after reciting the 'mirror, mirror on the wall' line from Snow White?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:35, Reply)

Or "You talkin to me?"

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:35, Reply)

There's one character in Snow White I relate to.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:36, Reply)

Rapey the dwarf?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:38, Reply)

Rapey?
in other news, morning.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:38, Reply)

the poisoned apple?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:39, Reply)

PRINCE CHARMING YOU FUCKING RETARDS

(PsychoChomp, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 11:25, Reply)

Very charming work there

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 11:25, Reply)

You like molesting sleeping girls?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 11:37, Reply)

So much love for Malcolm
everyone can be classed into a character from the THick of It
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:36, Reply)

I've been known to say "Not like this" from The Matrix
Or "They mostly come out at night...mostly" from Aliens.
Alt: from Watchmen
"None of you seem to understand. I'm not locked in here with you. You're locked in here with *ME*!"
In fact any line by Rorschach in the prison scenes counts for the alt q.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:34, Reply)

I always think Rorschach
talks like a Tom Waites song
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:38, Reply)

"Gimme da weapon"
said with an impatient tone in a hispanic accent. Usually when asking for the tv remote or cutlery.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:35, Reply)

I tell you what - I'm crazy. Who knows what I'm going to say next?
The other day, me and rest of the support team recited the whole of Episode 29 from season 88999432 of 'Red Dwarf'. It was hilarious.

Then we quoted from Spaced which is even more crazy because 'Spaced' itself was quoting from 'Star Trek'!!!! After that we ran through 'Withnail' (to use its abbreviated name). Then Colin said 'make it so' and we all made the 'Vulcan sign'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:35, Reply)

haha
My sarcasmometer has broken again


( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:36, Reply)

ulcan
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:36, Reply)

Make it so wasn't said by Vulcans,
you're thinking of "live long and prosper"
*nasal snort*
You're such an idiot.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 11:10, Reply)

Hahahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 11:17, Reply)

I chooo chooo chooooose you.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:37, Reply)

Have you bent your Wookie?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:38, Reply)

Haha!
/ralphlols
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:40, Reply)

"what's wrong with being drunk?
"Ask a glass of water"

or something. Anyway I've got a surprise day off! woo! bad news is it's because my car broke.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:38, Reply)

When I'm in London
I sometimes find myself singing "Men of Harlech" from Zulu at the top of my voice.
( Kroney, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:41, Reply)

Everytime any of my friends or I eat waffles, we have to say 'And in the morning, I'm making waffles!' in the style of Donkey from Shrek
Alt: I'm quite a fan of "Shut your fat ass, Rayvie! I can't buy a pack of smokes without runnin' into nine guys you fucked!"
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:41, Reply)

I do this all the time
and very few people actually get what the reference is meant to be, so I end up looking like a total knob.

Then again, most of them come from either Monty Python or various sci-fi shows that nobody ever watched. Or occasionally Friends, for which I can only apologise.

Alt: Dear Mr. Vernon: We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong. But, we think you're crazy to make us write an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us: in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But, what we found out is that each one of us is: a brain . . . And an athlete . . And a basket case . . . A princess . . . And a criminal. Does that answer your question? Sincerely yours, The Breakfast Club
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:42, Reply)

"It is too late for me, son"
Mostly in reply to b3tans telling me I do myself no favours as regards the gay jibes. I like to think that being referred to as "son" by me unnerves them.

Another personal favourite is "Just cos the fucker's got a library card doesn't make him Yoda", from Se7en.

Alt Q - my first instinct is to go with "Yippee-ki-ay, motherfucker" but there's a lot to be said for the last line of Jaws. Really only works after watching the film though.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:43, Reply)

i got a lot of stick at work
for telling a student to "Never give up, never surrender!"

none of them had seen the film, I looked like a dick
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:45, Reply)

NONE of them?
I insist you mount a viewing instead of a lecture. They will thank you for it.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:46, Reply)

i was tempted
only the other lecturer had seen it, and she joined in their piss-taking :( Something wrong with the youth of today
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:47, Reply)

I'm not sure anyone who hasn't seen Galaxy Quest to be educated beyond primary school level

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:51, Reply)

yet you've seen it and your sentences don't make sense

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:53, Reply)

Yes they do
Doesn't they?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:57, Reply)

a viewingme
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 11:35, Reply)

Whenever I'm out and about in Tottenham or Hackney
I always say 'you've got too much of that (you make the 'yak yak' hand sign here), 'specially for a coon'.

It's from 'Babylon' - luckily everyone's seen that film loads of times, so lols ensue without fail.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:45, Reply)

Jacko-lols
That line was delivered by Mel Smith wasn't it?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:46, Reply)

It was indeed.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:50, Reply)

Of a similar era.
Do you ask people where their tool is, before you whack 'em over the head with a sock filled with snooker balls?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:51, Reply)

I do!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:54, Reply)

I always say "Nice one, Centurion."
I sometimes forget that it's even from a film. It's just what I say.

When letting someone go through a door before me I always say "After you, Cecil" (pronounced See-sill). That's from some ancient black and white thing I can't even remember. Some comedy me and my dad used to watch with these blokes going "After you, Claude." "No, after you, Cecil!".
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:49, Reply)

Next time you talk to DJ
open with 'Morning, Super'.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:50, Reply)

I shall!
Also, from Wikipedia, it's looking like the film from which I get the Cecil/Claude thing is 'It's That Man Again'.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:54, Reply)

Known to us old people
as 'ITMA'
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:56, Reply)

Huge fan of ITMA.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:59, Reply)

Being the advanced-level lollists we are,
my brother and I quote 'Performance' to each other quite regularly. This is as entertaining for us to do as it is for you to hear about - perhaps even more so.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:51, Reply)

I can quite understand this
my brother and I would often recite almost entire Monty Python sketches without it ever seeming pathetic, dull, or tedious.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:57, Reply)

man I'm tired
And still quite full *wobbles* I may go for a smoke
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:55, Reply)

i read that as 'full of wobbles'
I thought perhaps you'd eaten an earthquake
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:56, Reply)

She went to one of Applebite's pole dancing classes last night.
got a move wrong, clam-slammed and now Japan's paying for it.
( Kroney, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:58, Reply)

you win the internet
but also, I imagine, I thump off of TGB
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 11:00, Reply)

I'm already living in fear.

( Kroney, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 11:02, Reply)

How's the weather in Fear?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 11:03, Reply)

Tsunami

( Kroney, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 11:03, Reply)

no, she went of her own accord

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 11:04, Reply)

Jamaica?
Reverse punch-lines!
( Kroney, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 11:05, Reply)

how do you drive this thing?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 11:06, Reply)

Alaska

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 11 Mar 2011, 11:08, Reply)

a stick

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 11:09, Reply)

it does, doesn't it?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 11 Mar 2011, 11:14, Reply)

you don't find many of those round here, do you?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 11:15, Reply)

wide mouth frog! Love that joke.

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 11:19, Reply)

*glares*

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 11:07, Reply)

hey! it was him ^^
runs away
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 11:08, Reply)

I have to click this
Just for "clam-slammed"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 11:01, Reply)

How was Bodeans?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 11:02, Reply)

awesome!
I had cider with champagne yeast in. mmmmmm.
For dinner burnt ends and pulled pork with creamed corn mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 11:07, Reply)

why do so many of these things
sound like sexually transmitted diseases?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 11:07, Reply)

Because you've spent too long on internet dating sites?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 11:11, Reply)

touche

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 11:15, Reply)

This one is a tiny bit embarassing
but occasionally when people aren't eating, you get a really odd look if you say 'shabby cat you must eat or you will waste away.' No-one seems to have seen that film :(
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:57, Reply)

Alt: the third chorus
in UB40 fet. Pato Banton's cover of The Equals' 'Baby Come Back' as performed on 'TOTP', just before 'Pato' 'sings' 'with me colour TV and me CD collection of Bob Mar-lee'.

Genius.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 11:04, Reply)

*shakes head*

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 11:05, Reply)

...in time to the 'riddim'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 11:08, Reply)

of UB40?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 11:08, Reply)

Actually 'Present Arms in Dub' is a really good record.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 11:11, Reply)

I'll bet you loved CJ Lewis as well.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 11:08, Reply)

Alice in Wonderland was cool

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 11:09, Reply)

ah tits
I totally got mixed up there
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 11:10, Reply)

Yeh mon, those 'Narnia' books are 'wicked style'!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 11:09, Reply)

I would have beat you to it
but I've eaten a shit load of peanuts and forgotten everything about literature ever
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 11:10, Reply)

that took me far too fucking long to get
*must try harder*
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 11 Mar 2011, 11:08, Reply)

Sorry to have wasted your time.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 11:10, Reply)

I really doubt that
but I forgive you, anyway.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 11 Mar 2011, 11:14, Reply)

From Queer as folk!
I'm here
I'm queer
I'm buying you a beer.

Usually sung when arriving at my mums. She finds it funny.
( girlinthehole, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 11:11, Reply)

as long as you actually do buy her a beer
otherwise, it's false advertising.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 11 Mar 2011, 11:15, Reply)

shit, man
www.businessinsider.com/fukushima-nuclear-plant-2011-3

Am I late to all this, it seems to be the beginning of the end of the world
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 11:21, Reply)

Holy fuck

SkyNewsBreak Sky News Newsdesk
Japan issues state of emergency at nuclear power plant following failure of cooling system; no radiation leak reported.
23 minutes ago Favorite Retweet Reply

SkyNewsBreak Sky News Newsdesk
Japan government official says technicians are currently unable to pump water to cool the reactor at a nuclear power plant in the country.
31 minutes ago
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 11:25, Reply)

David Sylvian said to be in a stable condition.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 11:28, Reply)

If they just leave a door open, there is plenty of water around at the moment that is trying to get in.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 11:28, Reply)

Sound advice

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 11:29, Reply)

it's fucked up is what it is
I just saw that footage...oh look at the debris...wait! that's a fucking van!

humans are very small
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 11:30, Reply)

They are in Japan.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 11:31, Reply)

I was watching it
and I saw people in their cars trying to drive away from it, and not making it. Made me go cold.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 11 Mar 2011, 11:32, Reply)

And to think, the wall of debris was taller than the cars/vans, and went along the horizon as far as the eye can see. And it covered a field in seconds.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 11:38, Reply)

Looking on the bright side
It means that Godzilla could rise...
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 12:16, Reply)