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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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New thread is new, unsullied, virginal and unaware of the filth and crassness we are about to inflict upon it.Do your worst.
Alt: What characteristic would you like to share with another B3tan?
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girlinthehole, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:00,
167 replies,
latest was 15 years ago)
Horrow, BGB. Howore yow todoy?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:01,
Reply)
We sure are - and Norman Cook is NOT HAPPY about it.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:05,
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I once stood on her hand.TRUFAX.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:10,
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Yes. Yes I did.Even though it was her fault for sitting on the fucking pavement outside Dingwalls.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:21,
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I'd like to have Poppet's brains and Monty's constitution.Oh and Rswipes energy.
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girlinthehole, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:05,
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Well if you ever ditch the Mrs they're yours.I would imagine they'll still be up for grabs.
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girlinthehole, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:08,
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You're going to have to hurry though.They're heading south, fast, and I don't mean Surrey.
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girlinthehole, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:17,
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I wouldn't bothershe doesn't earn enough to but a tin of cat food.
(, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:10, Reply)
Hmm, what shall I choose?Wookiee's ability not to mind doing absolutely fuck all for days on end?
Badger's very ladylike hands?
Al's Immense Angry Hiccuping Skilz?
Or someone else's Sweaty Murder-Face, to scare Monty with?
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thealternativefact, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:07,
Reply)
Please stop bringing up the ashen, corpse-like visage that already plagues my nightmares.Thanks in advance.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:16,
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William Murderface Murderface Murderface?(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:19,
Reply)
...so evil they named him thrice?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:20,
Reply)
That's the name of a character from MetalocalypseThis guy
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:22,
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LABS. Listen to your friends.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:22,
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I'll see what I can do(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:28,
Reply)
Not corpse-like yet.Getting there though - yay!
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thealternativefact, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:19,
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my fucking head hurts and my jaw and teeth hurtI have to get a fucking retainer but I can't get an appointment for 2 more weeks.
alt: I'd like to share Darths hair, or at least have him do mine.
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Lisette von Falcon, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:08,
Reply)
Any time babyAm getting a cut, colour and restyle soon as it's getting quite long. Any suggestions?
(, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:11, Reply)
This is exaclty why I asked her and not youFuck off you slack-jawed cuntbubble
(, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:14, Reply)
I'd like Al's love of the human race plz.(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:14,
Reply)
I love some bits of the human race quite a lot.Usually the bits with boobies.
(, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:15, Reply)
NO. Then he'll NEVER get to play with my hair. What is wrong with you?(
Lisette von Falcon, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:15,
Reply)
*looks at shoes*... ... sorry kristine i was only joking on the internet kristine i didn't mean to upset you kristine i'm sorry
...
sorry
(, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:17, Reply)
Kristine for the promise of a spanking I would be heading toward the first Virginia bound aeroplane I could find.
(, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:22, Reply)
Gonz's spelling, punctuation and grammar(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:16,
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You already have the first one.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:17,
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I have no respect for anyone on here.Not even a little part of their lives.
(, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:20, Reply)
I don't think you're jokingbut having met you, the idea that you look down on me is frankly laughable.
(, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:27, Reply)
just say bothit's what you will eventually answer when he explains himself
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:37,
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I quite like Amberl and I like youbut I'm not going to swap any part of my life for any part of yours.
(, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:41, Reply)
that's fair enoughyou seem pretty content with things for the most part, which is good.
but are you sure you don't want my legendary surfing or mad guitar skillz?
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:52,
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damnthat's the worst thing about me, apart from my propensity for injuring myself in stupid ways.
I'd recommend things to help you sleep, but the only ones that I've found to work with any reliability are red wine and spliffs.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 15:07,
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The only things he can look down onare his own shoes.
Oh lol.
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Kroney, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:32,
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funniest thing I've seen today(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:37,
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Unless you are well over 6ft you won't be looking down on me.I don't need your respect either.
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:33,
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I'll have Amberl's intellect, pleaseit's fortunate she's a humanities student, as if she'd turned her brain to SCIENCE, as I would if I had it, she'd probably rule the world by now.
Some but not all of her norks would be good as well.
(, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:20, Reply)
She would be an evil scientist sadlyusing her mad SkillZ to remove peoples jobs.
(, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:23, Reply)
there there Montyit couldn't last forever
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:39,
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I'm only half awakeand on day one of the soup diet
Edit: besides it is spelt right
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:39,
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Isn't it spelled 'cynicism'?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:43,
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Cynicalness is an actual wordeither can be used
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:53,
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Oh wow man you should like be on like The Mighty Boosh.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:23,
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I like the way they can't get through a scene without laughing at how funny they are.It's so brilliant.
(, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:24, Reply)
They can't belive it - NO-ONE CAN BELIEVE IT. It really is THAT funny.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:39,
Reply)
Not sure if my job is a characteristicbut I'd love to share some of the pictures I've just had to classify!
*buys shares in mindbleach*
(, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:30, Reply)
Oh wow.Seen any sizable objects recently?
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:32,
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Having bought the modcon book from BME, I've seen quite a bit of weird shit involving needles.(
girlinthehole, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:35,
Reply)
How about 46 in the scrotumand 19 in the ringpiece?
I counted :''''(
(, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:43, Reply)
There's some funny buggers out there hon.But as long as they're happy.
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girlinthehole, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:44,
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WHY DEAR GOD WHY(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:37,
Reply)
I'd like Vipros' self-confidence Monty's underworld contacts
Amberl's intelligence
Lab's tattoo
and AA's unnerring ability to take enormous amounts of abuse without seeming to give a single solitary shit
(, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:32, Reply)
I hope you're keeping a tally of these marks so we can have an overall winner at the end of the year.(
girlinthehole, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:43,
Reply)
I'm going for the holy grail of a 10/10I have one 9/10 so far
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:44,
Reply)
I'll spare you the suspense, it's me.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:44,
Reply)
Repeatedly teasing someone for being a benderis not something I have any pride in.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:47,
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Light-hearted amusement for myself and hopefully others.It's not my 'War and Peace'.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:50,
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I like to be used too.We have so much in common!
The love of hair...ties...cocks in our arses...
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Lisette von Falcon, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 15:00,
Reply)
*pulls collar like a flustered vicar*(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 15:01,
Reply)
I was strikethroughing the strikethrough(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 15:13,
Reply)
still doesn't make sense(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 15:18,
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yeahso "pulls fister like a flustered vicar"
doesn't make sense
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 15:21,
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I was calling Monty a fister*gives up*
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 15:22,
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I've never seen a vicar.I read that as "pops collar" and thought, wow vicars are pretty pimp
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Lisette von Falcon, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 15:23,
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Simple but effective*clicks after officelol*
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 15:07,
Reply)
Am I fuckI can tell you now that the winner will almost certainly be Sportscow or Monty, as they're the only ones to crack 9/10 more than once. Apart from the above Sporty is generally very consistent whereas Monty cracks off the occasional really lazy one which lowers his average. NakedApe could yet come into play if he raises his game. Flashes of genius, that boy.
(, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:46, Reply)
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:47,
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For another 50 pence I'll get hard for you(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:53,
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What's the prize Darth?Is it a photo of the ring around Uranus?
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:55,
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You're all enjoying the "prize" as we speakBetter gay insults for B3ta. The standard has risen since I started marking them. You may also have noticed a distinct reduction in the number of times I've dropped the flounce-bomb following a gay jibe recently, since I decided it would be churlish of me to take any such insecurities on others' parts seriously.
Alt answer for lols: a PONY!!!
(, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 15:04, Reply)
Good list, apart from the last oneCan't you tell he comfort eats?
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:34,
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I wouldn't eat too much if he can't shit(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:36,
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and rushes to the toilets for his lunchtime cry(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:36,
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I seem to only be able to read that in a Cornish voice.(
girlinthehole, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:41,
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He's a Baaarrrrrrgwenkaaaa(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:43,
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He lives in Macclesfield, doesn't he?I've been to Macc, if I lived there I'd comfort eat too. I'm not sure they even know what salad is, they probably think it's some kind of rare species of bird that never moves.
(, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:43, Reply)
They are raised to believe that salad is the fruit of the chip plant.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:45,
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I really should shut up though:I've eaten FOUR Crunchies today. I don't even like sweet food all that much.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:46,
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Hahahah I really won't, tonight.Not after last night *shudders*
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:48,
Reply)
I'm imagining you eating them huddled over, alert for the sound of someone coming in to your office and catching youand then hurriedly hiding the wrapped inside a wrap of drugs before putting it in your bin in case you cleaners spots it when she empties the bin.
(, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:49, Reply)
and then hurriedly hiding the wrapped inside a wrap of drugs before putting it in your bin in case you cleaners spots it when she empties the bin.
I'm off to lunch in a minute.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:54,
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You fat cunt, if Al ate AA that would be you(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 14:56,
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Alt: You're alright thanks. What a hideous idea.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 15:04,
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We all know that you would like to share Darth's anus with JeffYou could hot-box it
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 15:06,
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This is scandalousAre you suggesting Darth is a dog?
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 15:07,
Reply)
haha!Keyboard + water = fail
EDIT:
I think the "taker" might be unsure of his sexuality
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 15:08,
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Is a 'Kayboard'one where every time you press a key, an annoying Bolton accent pipes up with 'do you remeber panda pops? Do you remember Spastics shops' etc etc
?
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 15:09,
Reply)
I think it is, yesYou pedantic cunt
EDIT:
I remeber that too
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 15:10,
Reply)
I want a mish-mash of b3tan attributesDarth's positivity, Amberl's brains, Berk's awesome science skillz, Labs' sense of humour, Poppet's likeability and Blousie's ladylumps, to name but a few.
Having RSwipe's disdain for the 99% of humanity that earns less than her would probably make life a lot easier, too.
(, Thu 24 Mar 2011, 15:24, Reply)
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