The North is full of povvos! FACTS in replies

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 12:24, 90 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Using statistics for income, employment, health, disability, crime and living standards, the government report ranks 32,482 neighbourhoods by local authority area according to where they stand in a national poverty league table.

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 12:24, Reply)

So just around the middle basically?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 12:27, Reply)

plz link thx u !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 12:36, Reply)

according to Yorkist propoganda
the men are all thieves and rapists as well
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 12:28, Reply)

I'm going to South Korrea with a crack team of gang bangers from the congo
bit.ly/9eWsRx
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 12:35, Reply)

for some reason knowing that on average UK penises are bigger than Australian ones makes me feel proud

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 12:38, Reply)

Me too, very much so
Still in full-on post-Ashes gloating mode
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 12:40, Reply)

feel stand
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 12:41, Reply)

proud all the Australians I know, purely for comparison purposes.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 12:43, Reply)

*click*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 12:44, Reply)

It'll explain why Poppet came over.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 12:58, Reply)

I saw a frankly amazing article the other day
listing the average property prices in certain UK streets - I could not fucking believe these figures, 38k, 36k ect....admittedly these were in places like Bradford or South Wales, but still.

My area is doubtless listed in the 'most deprived' list above - Tower Hamets is desperately poor, and my flat, a 1928 red brick ex-council 1-bed, is estimated on Zoopla at 219k.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 12:38, Reply)

that's pretty expensive
my bro's really nice two bed flat in Brockley in a big victorian semi was £205k or so.

My 3 bed terrace in Exeter was £213k...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 12:39, Reply)

That's mental
Ms Foxtrot's 3 bed end terrace cost her £124K, seven years ago. Mind you it's recently been valued at £150K+, without us having done a huge amount to it, but all the same
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 12:47, Reply)

I sold my one bed flat for £135k
the differences are just plain weird really.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 12:49, Reply)

There's no way I'll ever be able to afford to buy a house

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 12:51, Reply)

I didn't have a deposit
we bought our flat while it was being built by a developer, they paid 5% deposit. 2 years later we sold it for a £22k profit.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 12:52, Reply)

Maybe I'll get lucky with something like that
I have access to 10k for a deposit, but nowadays I can't get a mortgage unless I have 20-30% deposit. As a first time buyer, this is ridiculous.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 12:54, Reply)

yeah, we are struggling with that now
because we don't quite have even 10% equity in our place, despite all the improvements and stuff, because it's not finished the price seems to be low. Things are moving up though I think.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 12:55, Reply)

My only way of getting a house is if a family member dies
And I'd rather they not do that.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 12:56, Reply)

Genealogy is your friend
Trace your family tree up, across, and back down to someone old or terminal with no dependants. Ingratiate yourself.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:00, Reply)

My grandmother lent me three grand, an ex matched it
and we bought a flat together 11 years ago that was worth 360k last year when she sold it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 12:55, Reply)

holy crap

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 12:56, Reply)

House prices will always go up
And it looks like they'll keep going up disproportionately to wage increases. I've resigned myself to always renting accommodation.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 12:58, Reply)

Likewise.
It's a shame cos I'd have loved to have had something to leave daughter, but buying a house as a single person on an average wage has just never been an option.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:06, Reply)

Nope, not for the last 10 years or so

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:09, Reply)

I think I bought my first flat in 2001
just before the prices up here went mental
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:10, Reply)

10 years ago, aye
The parents of a friend of mine bought her a house to live in at uni (and rent out the other 3 rooms). Bought for 75k, done up for another 25k, sold for 350k a few years ago...
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:14, Reply)

I certainly wouldn't have been able to do it if I were single

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:11, Reply)

I was earning £20k in 1998
and paying a quarter of that out before tax in child support. Without the second income from a partner I'd have struggled.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:19, Reply)

Mine was 99,950 ten years ago.
I've made 120k just by existing. Mind you it was (if I say so myself) a fucking shrewd choice of location...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 12:51, Reply)

Why don't you sale it and move to somewhere cheaper, like Cambodia?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:13, Reply)

Because I am a massive racist.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:19, Reply)

The variation is stupid
If you had £219k to spend, you could buy a stone 4 bed detatched house in my street with a double garage and en-suite
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 12:39, Reply)

Fucking hell.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 12:48, Reply)

My house


£227k in 2003
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 12:51, Reply)

Hey look, your wife's in
But isn't that your boss's car parked there?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 12:52, Reply)

Haha!
Actually that is my car and her old one (so it is probably the Ford salesman)
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 12:53, Reply)

hahahahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 12:56, Reply)

I'll concede that my estate isn't Shoreditch
and Tayyabs is not round the corner
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 12:58, Reply)

Yeah, but then you'd have to live next to sportscow.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 12:53, Reply)

He can live in the same street
I have nice neighbours
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 12:54, Reply)

Yeah fuck dat shit.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 12:56, Reply)

That's more than twice my one bedroom flat.
Could you lend me some money mate?
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 12:40, Reply)

at some point
i will swop my kensington pad for something up in cheshire. i like looking at the jackson stops website, it's my idea of porn as a former estate agent. i've clocked a nice 18 bedroom mansion and estate just over the border in derbyshire that's only about £1,500,000.

i've saved the first £1, anyone got the remaining £1,499,999?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 12:44, Reply)

Your Dad?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 12:45, Reply)

Oh me, I'm fucking stacked.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 12:46, Reply)

"Just over the border" is still in Derbyshire
If you want to be Empress over a race of troglodyte mongs you'd be better off financing the construction of a time machine, travelling 700,000 years into the future and enslaving the Morlocks, because you won't have to live in fucking Derbyshire
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 12:49, Reply)

hahaha

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 12:52, Reply)

Silly Darth
She should *join* the Morlocks, and enslave the Eloi. Also, some of those Eloi were ragingly fit.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 29 Mar 2011, 12:57, Reply)

If you dare invoke a film which had the temerity to claim Samantha Mumba was an actress I will immediately nuke your no-longer-secret Arctic base of operations
I love how preposterous the threats I can make against you can be :-)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:00, Reply)

18 bedrooms for 1.5 mil - that sounds like a bargain.
How much land do you get with it, and are stables included?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 12:53, Reply)

The house comes with everything you could possibly need.
Except taste.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 12:55, Reply)

stables kennels
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 12:56, Reply)

It's in DERBYSHIRE
It'd be worth 10 times as much anywhere else because NO-ONE WANTS TO LIVE THERE
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 12:56, Reply)

Does it have two sets of stairs going to the same floors? That's how you know you've made the big time.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:14, Reply)

Tower Hamlet's Council are fucking disgusting though,
www.docklands24.co.uk/news/tower_hamlets_council_ends_celeb_appearances_after_42k_bill_1_788712
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:11, Reply)

My three bed terrace was £125,000.
Front facing a park, second shower/loo room and cellar. I love my house.

GET IN!!!
( girlinthehole, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 12:51, Reply)

Who do you keep in the cellar?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 12:54, Reply)

The dead lodgers and hitchhikers is my guess.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 12:54, Reply)

"People who ask too many fucking questions"

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 12:55, Reply)

Nobody.
I haven't met the right gimp yet.
( girlinthehole, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 12:54, Reply)

That reminds me,
Can I come to your bash?
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 12:56, Reply)

to in
a u
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 12:56, Reply)

gash would have been a better one

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 12:57, Reply)

that is true

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:12, Reply)

Pfft! You'd better come.

( girlinthehole, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 12:57, Reply)

*gets in Blousie's house*
When I bought my flat in '98, it cost me £23k. When I sold it last year, it was worth £50k. I didn't get anywhere near that, but I still made a profit, just by owning it.

Well, that, and having someone else pay the mortgage on it.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 29 Mar 2011, 12:55, Reply)

I don't think mine will improve much in the near future but I didn't buy it as an investment.

( girlinthehole, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 12:58, Reply)

I didn't either
I bought the flat to live in, then within 15 months I moved down to englandshire to shack up with a scary old man I met on the internet. My mum was so proud...
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 29 Mar 2011, 12:59, Reply)

A second INDOOR loo, though?
No. Same as the first one, it's down t'end of t'garden.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 12:57, Reply)

I actually remember having to use an outside loo when I went to visit my dad's home many years ago.
I hated it because of the spiders. Oh and my sister's house has one.
( girlinthehole, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:01, Reply)

No wonder people used chamber pots back in the day.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:05, Reply)

some of the houses around my way still have an outdoor lavatory
as well as an indoor one.

My neighbours have one for example, but it is attached to the house. Mine was long ago assimilated into the kitchen (with the fixtures removed)
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:13, Reply)

My mother's terrace in Winchester had an attached one she used as a shed
before sealing the outside and putting an internal door to her utility room. Quite common with houses of a certain age I'd imagine.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:15, Reply)

One thing I would change on my house is to have another
no need for the two of us, but would be good when we eventually sell.

My stupid neighbours have their boiler in theirs. I'm sure having a boiler outside the house isn't a good idea.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:20, Reply)

That sounds like a bad idea to me too.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:21, Reply)

Best place for it, I've moved several outside
CM poisoning
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:22, Reply)

depends on the sort of boiler surely?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:23, Reply)

Not really, I've set up mixtures of domestics in tandem, or commercials in tandem, but if it can be arranged I'll always go for an external boilerhouse,
Far easier for maintenance as well
/B69 blog
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:26, Reply)

I bow to your superior knowledge

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:35, Reply)

technically the second is a compost bin

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:13, Reply)

Oh god, house prices.
Drama drama.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:11, Reply)

The world of dinner parties with couples quietly shoehorning in their equity advantages with a smug glint in their eye awaits you

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:20, Reply)

I already do the "so how much rent are you paying" game with my friends.
And have just casually been looking at flats. Found one I want. Perfect in location, price and what it offers but want to see it. Urgh. And besides, we'd be looking to move in August. No point looking now.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:23, Reply)

August is a busy time and you'll be at the landlords mercy for pricing. It may be if something can be arranged now you could get a rental advantage.
A bird in hand is generally a winner with most landlords
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:29, Reply)

Technically my end-terrace has 3 bedrooms
although one is tiny, I paid £46K for it many years ago.

I think they're going for between £85k and £105k in this area, although I wouldn't get that much as there's a variety of work that needs doing.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:12, Reply)

They have to deal with the pest problem first.
Oh hang, on, you moving out will sort that.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:14, Reply)

At least they won't get contact highs from touching the wallpaper

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:16, Reply)

That's a selling point in my area.
We fackin' lav the old drags raaahn 'ere mate.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:19, Reply)