Life is utter shit
I've lost all passion for my job, which will never pay me enough to be able to live in a flat that I own. I'm getting old, friends are getting married and falling by the wayside, and I'm slowly realising that nothing will improve as the country seems to disintegrate around me.

So, I've decided to end it all, but I want to go out in as spectacular fashion as possible, so I'm thinking about using a trick I read where you fashion a long noose out of piano wire, pop it around your neck, superglue your palms to the side of your head and then run as fast as you can forward. Done right, death will be instantaneous, and when they find your body it'll look like you ripped your own head off in anger.

As you lot seem to be 'enjoying' lives as pathetic as mine (or worse), how will you kill yourself?

NB: All of the above is in jest, I feel pretty great right now, my self-confidence is at an all time high and I have some great friends around to share laughs with. Sure there are areas for improvement, but I'm taking an active role in sorting these out.

So, your alt q is this, what's fucking awesome in your life right now?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:49, 249 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I have a family size bag of Haribo golden bears.
Oh and when I go I'm going to sit in a bath of warm water and cut my wrists, with my long hair flowing in the water and I'll have some sort of floaty chiffon dress on and as all the blood drains from my body I'll become paler and paler and beautiful.
( girlinthehole, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:50, Reply)

Golden bears just aren't Tangfastics though

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:54, Reply)

Like this bird?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:59, Reply)

Ophelia?
I wish I had a nicer bathroom to kill myself in.
( girlinthehole, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:00, Reply)

A bathroom with Willow trees?
I only know one person here who could afford that.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:05, Reply)

Something like this.
www.antiquebathrooms.co.za/home222.jpg
( girlinthehole, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:08, Reply)

That would be an excellent bathroom.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:16, Reply)

I'm saving up from today.

( girlinthehole, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:19, Reply)

isn't that a britney spears video?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:00, Reply)

My 15" black rubber cock.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:50, Reply)

Unfortunately, the alt answer is
daughter's happy, Poppet's happy enough, everything else is Fucking Shit.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:52, Reply)

HEY!
I said what's fucking awesome, not what's fucking awesome AND what's shit. Focus Noel!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:53, Reply)

*honk honk*

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:54, Reply)

Its rude to answer a statement with a duck mating call

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:58, Reply)

That's goose, fool.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:59, Reply)

Well you OBVIOUSLY haven't fucked a duck lately
EDIT:
/isafraidtofly
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:00, Reply)

sex.
as an answer to both questions.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:51, Reply)

It's rude to answer a question with a question

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:52, Reply)

?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:53, Reply)

You ninja edited

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:53, Reply)

It's rude to answer a statement with a question mark too.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:54, Reply)

!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:57, Reply)

This post is just typed mental illness.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:55, Reply)

post website
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:56, Reply)

trudat

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:56, Reply)

Some of it is photoshopped.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:57, Reply)

Fucking awesome in the sports household
is not much really. Mrs Cow really hates her job and is hopeful of getting a new one. This will be awesome as monthly income will go up by 25% if she gets it

Kids are OK, enjoying nursery and school. I'm OK in work. Mostly meh
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:56, Reply)

I have a really great internship to look forward to that starts in the next two weeks
And possibly a date tonight. If I grow some balls and send a text.
(Charmander, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:56, Reply)

Is the guy gay then?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:57, Reply)

hahahahah excellent

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:06, Reply)

DO IT!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:57, Reply)

How about if you just send a text, would that still make it a date?
Or does the other person only like those of a testicular nature?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:57, Reply)

if you grow some balls
it might greatly decrease your chances of getting the date...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:57, Reply)

Not on the internet

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:58, Reply)

POOR CHOICE OF WORDS
However I love that all your replies are in exactly the same thread. The internet is so predictable.
(Charmander, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:59, Reply)

We're all homophobic on here.
Didn't you know?
( girlinthehole, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:59, Reply)

Your face is so predicatable

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:00, Reply)

Hmm, the reply I just got wasn't predictable
"Sorry I forgot, I'm in Bristol".
(Charmander, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:03, Reply)

Did you tell them you've grown balls?
That would put me off.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:03, Reply)

Yes.
Let's say I did.
(Charmander, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:04, Reply)

TEABAG

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:04, Reply)

Best /OT question in AGES
I plan to attend a B3ta bash and provoke all attendees to the point of wanting to commit bloody murder upon me. I assume that just turning up and being myself, banging on about TWL every five minutes will do the job, but just in case I'll roll up in a Honda Accord, wearing a Lib Dem rosette, ripped jeans so as to encourage Swipey to believe I'm poor, a football shirt of some kind and a comedy large nose to make Monty think I'm Jewish.

Alt - got laid last night. WITH A WOMAN. A hot woman. Fuck yeah.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:56, Reply)

LIES!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:59, Reply)

No, really
We can still do that. We're not married.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:01, Reply)

Of course
I forget
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:02, Reply)

Alzheimers again?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:10, Reply)

Of course
I forget
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:11, Reply)

Nicely done
I was going to post something about a Newcastle shirt originally but I think a fight between the two of us might be horribly Bridget Jones-esque
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:13, Reply)

I actually dont know what you mean by this
Or:

Of course
I forget
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:15, Reply)

I'm basically suggesting that both of us are soft as shite and have little knowledge of actual fighting

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:17, Reply)

Probably!
I seem to get away with stuff being 6'1" and built fairly heavily
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:20, Reply)

Somehow I manage to get away with being 5'11" and not especially well-built and slightly camp
I think the indiginous population choose to believe that if they ignore me I'll go away.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:24, Reply)

I was going to say
"hasn't fucking well worked for us"

but then "ignoring" and c"onstantly hounding with accusations of homosexuality" are very different things.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:49, Reply)

I do get the occasional catcall in the street
but I'm talking about actual physical abuse, and a couple of nasty incidents aside I've been alright. I assume that should I ever attend a bash none of you will try to batter me for being a bit camp.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:58, Reply)

no, we'll try to batter you because you are a cunt
;-)

not nice that you've almost had some nasty incidents though. I hate that sort of shit. I'm a big coward.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:00, Reply)

Hahaha
It's been quite a while now since I took any shit. Only taken a semi-serious kicking twice (and by semi-serious kicking, I mean "took a few punches, assessed that I was massively outnumbered, ran the fuck away").

I think a massive B3ta ruck would be quite amusing, just to see if anyone actually throws a punch. Can anyone here even vaguely handle themselves? In the non-masturbatory sense?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:08, Reply)

I reckon I could
Bring it on
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:09, Reply)

never been in a fight
but I'm quite a big fucker and have fairly powerful shoulders from swimming and surfing.

to balance that, I don't like pain.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:12, Reply)

I'm much the same
Kickboxing means I can theoretically throw a punch and I'm fairly strong, but being able to hit a moving target that I'm afraid might hit me first is quite another matter.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:18, Reply)

I'd probably be alright
flail a bit wildly, and survive by sheer force of stubborness
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:34, Reply)

That's an interesting way to go
Unorthodox for sure!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:02, Reply)

Best I could manage off the top of my head
Yours is much better. I like the idea of the police pissing themselves at the sight of a dead body
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:05, Reply)

Cheating on your girlfriend again?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:03, Reply)

Hahahhaha part 2

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:07, Reply)

I had an actual client
come round to pay me to do some work. AND she left a bucket of rocky road chocolate things. score!
(beanojam isn't really Ricardo Flange, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:00, Reply)

MOAR LIES!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:01, Reply)

tisn't
hang on
(beanojam isn't really Ricardo Flange, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:08, Reply)

see?

(beanojam isn't really Ricardo Flange, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:10, Reply)

NOM!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:10, Reply)

worryingly so

(beanojam isn't really Ricardo Flange, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:14, Reply)

You get points for the Gojira sticker
Brilliant band.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:11, Reply)

aren't they just?
seen them live twice too *smugs*
(beanojam isn't really Ricardo Flange, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:13, Reply)

Just the once for me
Backbone rocked so damn hard.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:15, Reply)

from the sky
kicked it for me. double kick madness!
(beanojam isn't really Ricardo Flange, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:17, Reply)

Never listened to them, suggested intro songs please for my afternoon pleasure

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:18, Reply)

hmmm
from the sky, flying whales, the heaviest matter of the universe, toxic garbage island, a sight to behold, adoration for none...
(beanojam isn't really Ricardo Flange, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:21, Reply)

And BACKBONE

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:27, Reply)

and dat
yes
(beanojam isn't really Ricardo Flange, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:28, Reply)

thanks all, this will be the soundtrack to my afternoon

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:29, Reply)

Oh I want
Along with the chocolate mini rolls. God bless the perpetual 2 for £3 deal.
(Charmander, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:13, Reply)

Needs moar flapjacks

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:16, Reply)

No you're wrong
Unless you're talking about flapjacks THEN the strawberry/yoghurt crispies things (to make the most of the deal, ya see)
(Charmander, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:25, Reply)

OH MAN ! I hope they do those BBQ Buiscits this year, the one where you get 4 on a tin foil tray that you can microwave and they go all guewie and marshmillowy and melted chocolatety and OH GEE OH GOSH, those sure are gosh darn swell.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:28, Reply)

BBQ Biscuits?
Biscuits that taste of BBQ? Eh?
(Charmander, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:30, Reply)

Nah', there are these buiscits that are basicly.
- Chocolate
- Buiscit
- Chocolate
- Marshmellow
- Chocolate
- Buiscit
- Chocolate

On a tin foil, you get 4 of them in a packet, and the idea is you put them on the BBQ to melt it all together, but you can do them in the oven.

I can't say I've had the best possible sex that mankind could ever know, but I have had these.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:33, Reply)

WOW
That is all.
(Charmander, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:37, Reply)

Ask him about caterpillar cake

(PsychoChomp, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:39, Reply)

I'm not sure I want to read about that again

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:41, Reply)

I swear, if someone else who isn't me or the birthday person gets the slice with the face on, I'll do time, I'll do time and I'd walk it, 3 months with mitigating circamstances.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:44, Reply)

This^
The face is the best bit, followed by feet.

Oh hang on, you are talking about a cake, aren't you?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:45, Reply)

are they?
marvellous. i'm not in the habit of buying biscuits but i'll never say no to delicious comestibles left in my property.
(beanojam isn't really Ricardo Flange, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:34, Reply)

Swan dive onto a cheesewire net strung between some nice tall buildings in the City.
If I'm going to die I want to ruin as many suits as possible. Sorry if you end up with Wookiee chunks in your hair, Swipey.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:05, Reply)

I was hoping you'd post this
It's genius!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:06, Reply)

I agree
EEEEEEwwwwww also
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:07, Reply)

*Opening scene of Cube flashbacks*

(Charmander, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:08, Reply)

Love that film

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:08, Reply)

and the sequel
not so much the prequel though.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:10, Reply)

Hypercube was a bit silly
But shed a little more light on what the hell was going on.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:13, Reply)

I've not watched either of them
Worth my time?
(PsychoChomp, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:15, Reply)

the second one is really quite similar to the first
Cube Zero is a bit different, and has an interesting ending. I'd give them a go if you enjoyed the first one.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:17, Reply)

Think I got the boxset for a tenner

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:17, Reply)

your mum paid me a tenner to have her box

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:18, Reply)

Yeah, she wants her money back

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:20, Reply)

cer-lick

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:20, Reply)

Hmm might download them and keep them around for a quiet afternoon.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:17, Reply)

it's great being ignored, you can post what you like
and say that any film is worth an awful lot of 90 mins of scratching your arse, watching porn and smoking.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:18, Reply)

confusing post is confusing
does chompy have you on ignore?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:19, Reply)

christ i have no idea
how can you tell if someone has you on ignore? that would be worth knowing. i know that sir pigeon nipples definitely has me on ignore, but apart from that, it could be 95% of b3ta, for all i know.

hello? anyone?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:20, Reply)

*tumbleweeds*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:21, Reply)

are you on ignore?
and hey! don't diss most blokes favourite activities
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:19, Reply)

I don't smoke!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:20, Reply)

that is why you fail

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:21, Reply)

sorry.
i forgot "looking at shiny things with big wheels."
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:21, Reply)

I love it in theory like I do with most semi-interesting horror films
But it's really gross to watch. So I don't frequently.
(Charmander, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:10, Reply)

I like horror films that have twisty-turny plots or are a bit psychological
Though sometimes it's fun to watch a brainless slasher film.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:14, Reply)

if you ruin my hair
i will hire the best priest i can find to exorcise you.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:16, Reply)

priests and exorcism only work on evil spirits that believe in God
sorry
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:17, Reply)

i think
you might have just made this up.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:19, Reply)

it stands to reason
same with crosses not working on atheist vampires
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:21, Reply)

The Fearless Vampire Killers (I think)
had a Jewish vampire who was only afraid of the Star of David. Also Sharon Tate was in it, pre-murdering.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:31, Reply)

I think it's mostly the Catholics that do exorcisms
and since I'm over the age of consent, I no longer have anything to fear from them.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:30, Reply)

Method of killing myself : Tell my monstrous harridan of an ex-wife exactly what I think of her. That'd probably do it.

Awesomeness (1): My kids are great - loads of fun and doing fantastically well at school.

Awesomeness (2): My sex life with the new lady is friggin excellent. I think I've finally cracked it, you know.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:07, Reply)

That's some major osteoperosis if you cracked her whilst frigging
Or you have the technique of an industrial floor buffer.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:08, Reply)

Pure b3tan blubber

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:10, Reply)

I'm going to fill you so full of belly pork that you explode and I get killed by a blast of fatty goodness.
Alt: wearing the skirt I have on today.
( thealternativefact, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:11, Reply)

Best way to go EVER
Alt: *highfives so hard that the moon explodes*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:12, Reply)

:D

( thealternativefact, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:12, Reply)

'lo Clenders
how's it going?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:13, Reply)

Not all that well, but in August I will be much happier.
Except it'll be too hot then, so I will whine about that instead.
( thealternativefact, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:14, Reply)

I know the feeling, sometimes I just wish someone would let me sleep and then wake me up when September ends
/AA
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:15, Reply)

Ah, but in September, he will still be a nob and I will still be brilliant.

( thealternativefact, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:17, Reply)

ha ha ha ha

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:17, Reply)

This is a truth that will never change with time

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:18, Reply)

*winks at sveltey*

( thealternativefact, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:19, Reply)

as long as you have a plan ;-)

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:16, Reply)

I do and it's going to work out and I'm going to love it.
/Hannibal
( thealternativefact, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:18, Reply)

good stuff
cigar?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:20, Reply)

On July 27th, yes. Yes indeed.

( thealternativefact, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:20, Reply)

ok. I have one at home I will save it for you

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:21, Reply)

:)

( thealternativefact, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:22, Reply)

I had thought that I knew what you were talking about
but it transpires that I don't.

What is happening on the 27th of July?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:28, Reply)

You've missed me whining about my studying.
Dissertation is due in this month, research project 27 July.
Then I'm free!
( thealternativefact, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:30, Reply)

aah, awesome!
I had managed to almost entirely miss that.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:33, Reply)

Wookiee will be envious of your state of bliss.

( thealternativefact, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:34, Reply)

I shall make sure I rub his nose in it!

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:35, Reply)

Fuck you, beardo.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:38, Reply)

if you're not careful I'll rub your nose in my beard as well

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:40, Reply)

Sounds like beard jealousy to me

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:45, Reply)

I get that a lot

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:47, Reply)

U2 concert
explosives
loads of rock salt

alt: surely you all know by now how awesome my life is?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:11, Reply)

Rock Salt? Surely you mean rusty nails, broken glass, AIDS needles and fire

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:15, Reply)

The man is a stoner
Effort
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:23, Reply)

he might explode in a noxious cloud of fetid marajuana smoke choking the tone deaf bastards to death

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:25, Reply)

I'd cover myself in bacon and invite /talk over
Alt: Boringly I'll have to say baby on the way...again, other areas are a bit fairly meh as impending baby means the next year is a little foggy and worrying
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:14, Reply)

which is precisely why god invented condoms
and the pill
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:19, Reply)

God hates condoms, ask the Pope

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:23, Reply)

www.bash.org/?488793
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:19, Reply)

I read it on Maddox's website years ago
So either he got it from that bash post, or vice versa.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:22, Reply)

I'll lay out a 40' x 1" line in Trafalgar Square, do the fucking lot then explode all over the tourists.
Alt: daughter, GF, family, friends, record collection...and I look fucking gorgeous too.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:21, Reply)

I was already to believe this post until the end,,,,

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:24, Reply)

You forgot modesty

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:25, Reply)

I was going to mention that, but didn't like to brag, you know?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:30, Reply)

too busy trying to "blow your own trumpet" I'd wager
you fucking deviant
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:33, Reply)

More like
trumpet his own blow
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:34, Reply)

I watched this telly show about coke, about what it actually does to you and all that.
You should watch it.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:40, Reply)

I watched it myself.
It's nowhere near as scary as what heavy cigarette smoking and unhealthy eating/a sedentary lifestyle can do to you.

*folds arms*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:40, Reply)

+ took part

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:41, Reply)

^this

( girlinthehole, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:45, Reply)

That BBC3 one? I donno, they're all pretty bad, one is long term, the other is short.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:54, Reply)

I think he knows what it does

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:40, Reply)

I heard people end up licking cat's feet and letting men play with their bottoms

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:40, Reply)

*Signs up Darth*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:41, Reply)

Darthlo Escobarios

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:43, Reply)

STRAW POLL
Hey, space phone owners!

I'm one of you crazy kids now. But I need to know - is is shit to buy a case for it? I'm a bit scared about scratching/shattering the screen or camera lens as I've cancelled the insurance on it.

If it's not shit, are those rubber surrounds or the leather flip ones best?

Help me, hipsters!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:52, Reply)

I think at least a screen protector would be a good idea

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:52, Reply)

Keep it in a sock.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:53, Reply)

Where's ya' ring tone? What ring tone? THIS RING TONE ! *Hampster Dance*

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:58, Reply)

you should keep it in "nature's phone case"

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:54, Reply)

prison phone case

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:55, Reply)

cases are for benders

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:58, Reply)

This was my concern.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:01, Reply)

don't listen to that spastic
the flippy leather ones are bent, but if you get a black rubber or silicone one it will just look like the phone.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:02, Reply)

I second the rubber/silicone idea
I attribute the fact that my old Ipod lasted about 6 years to the rubber case. Really actually quite protective and if you drop it in a drunken haze, it bounces, so no damage there.
(Charmander, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:05, Reply)

beards are for benders

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:06, Reply)

not exclusively.

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:11, Reply)

not
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:12, Reply)

brian blessed isn't gay
nor are ZZ Top.

you lose.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:13, Reply)

those aren't beards, they are siamese ewoks

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:14, Reply)

now you are just being stupid

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:15, Reply)

I have found you the perfect one

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:03, Reply)

Oh you cunt.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:07, Reply)

*shock horror*
You don't like it?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:08, Reply)

I'd gorge on alcohol and food, then take myself to the "landlords" bedroom and position myself right in the middle of her bed and then shoot myself in the head
that way it's full of piss and shit, and the only thing she will remember when she walks into her bedroom is my bloody corpse

alt: I just got Black Swan on dvd. This has brightened my mood quite a bit.
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:06, Reply)

It'll ruin it when you watch it

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:08, Reply)

have you seen it?
i quite liked it
it broke my "going to the cinema alone" cherry
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:09, Reply)

I couldn't stand her stupid frowning face all the way through
Also it is about ballet which is boring.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:11, Reply)

ooh you want a happy cheery dance movie?
you should probably watch the wiggles then

or maybe eclipse, I think bella smiles in the that one
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:13, Reply)

No, I don't want to watch a film about dance ever
name one good film about dance?

that isn't bent
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:13, Reply)

Black Swan

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:14, Reply)

Schindlers List

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:15, Reply)

never seen it

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:17, Reply)

"A laugh a minute" Paul Ross, Mirror

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:17, Reply)

*box of tissues joke*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:23, Reply)

you are wrong, it is shit and boring and shit
and she doesn't even get her tits out in the lezza bit, nil points
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:15, Reply)

that was one of the hottest lesbian scenes ever
and if you don't agree it's because you're not a woman so you're obviously wrong
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:17, Reply)

let me direct you to youporn.com for hotter lesbian sex

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:17, Reply)

oh yeah, sure, girls writhing on beds, barely touching and moaning worse than a cow giving birth

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:18, Reply)

you've been watching the wrong porn

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:34, Reply)

Cow porn is notoriously rubbish
Even with all those lovely udders
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:35, Reply)

shut it Nursie

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:35, Reply)

Good films ABOUT dance or films involving good dancing?
If the former; The Company, Shall We Dance (either 1936 Fred & Ginger or the more recent Japanese film), Follow the Fleet, An American In Paris

If the latter; The Band Wagon, Top Hat (indis-fucking-putably so), Step Up, Singin' In The Rain and obviously Dirty Dancing.

Off the top of my head.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:27, Reply)

Not seen any of them

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:28, Reply)

I knew you were going to say that
I'm off home, if you see Bartleby please wind him up about the cricket for me
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:30, Reply)

The ones of these I've seen are shit
that dancing bollocks with fred Astaire etc is so god awful and twee.

Dirty Dancing seen bits of it, GAYEST MOVIE EVER
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:31, Reply)

*sniffles* you take that BACK

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:33, Reply)

it is fucking gay

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:33, Reply)

What that DD is the GAYEST MOVIE EVER
i forgot to add the god awful soundtrack
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:33, Reply)

Step Up 2 had an awesome set at the end.

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:32, Reply)

one good film about dance
The Red Shoes
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:40, Reply)

Based on the Hans Christian Anderson of the same name?
Where she ends up having her feet amputated? I always thought that was overly menacing for a kids story...
(berk, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:44, Reply)

You do possess a great put down Kristine!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:14, Reply)

I did see the first Eclipse film, i can honestly say it was one of the worst films I've ever, ever seen

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:15, Reply)

how many are there?

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:15, Reply)

Don't know, but it's definately a series
of massive turds
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:16, Reply)

it's the TWILIGHT series, Eclipse is the third movie
Twilight was the first, and I agree with you, it was one of the worst films I've ever seen
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:21, Reply)

ah, thought it sounded wrong...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:36, Reply)

hahahahah why did you watch that?
Are you a 13 year old girl posing as a man on the internet?

Don't get many of them to the pound.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:30, Reply)

Blame the misses and a lack of other DVD's in her friends spare bedroom

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:34, Reply)

Worth it just for the lesbian sex scene
I'm not remotely gay but even I thought that was hot.
(berk, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:16, Reply)

thank you!

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:18, Reply)

I seem to have enticed a rather lovely and gorgeous man
in to possibly being my boyfriend. This is not only fucking awesome but a source of perpetual astonishment and grateful bemusement to me.

In other news however, my job sucks balls. I think if I had to kill myself I'd probably want to have some kind of aneurysm whilst skydiving or something equally improbable.
(berk, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:09, Reply)

Yay!
Boo!
Good one!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:10, Reply)

Berk's got a BOOOOYYYYYYYFFFFFFFRRRRRRIIIIIIIEEEEEEEENNNNNNDDDDD!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:11, Reply)

Not yet
but possibly/probably soon.
(berk, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:13, Reply)

don't jinx it!
you'd better knock on wood three times, spin in three circles, throw salt over your left shoulder and etc
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:13, Reply)

Congrats!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:14, Reply)

yes, this as well!

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:16, Reply)

Well we shall see
I mean, maybe not. But it seems to be heading that way, and even if it isn't, I'm still getting to see more of someone who is stupefyingly good looking and seemingly an all-round lovely, talented bloke. So I'm counting that as win (admittedly whilst looking frantically for the catch, as I'm sure there must be one).
(berk, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:19, Reply)

don't fuck it up for yourself.
there is no reason why someone who you think is very suitable might not think you are as well.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:20, Reply)

This^
Chill out!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:21, Reply)

On the outside I am cool, calm, collected and chilled
on the inside I am bouncing up and down like a sugar-filled hyena.
(berk, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:23, Reply)

sometimes everything really is perfect, berk
I wish you the best :)
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:20, Reply)

Cheers! :)

(berk, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:24, Reply)

What these guys say ^
There doesn't have to be a catch, sometimes life stops shitting on you for a moment, so enjoy it!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:25, Reply)

sometimes it's for longer than a moment

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:25, Reply)

This is getting a bit profound

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:26, Reply)

Dust. Wind. Dude.

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:27, Reply)

Agreed

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:26, Reply)

He's secretly gay.
Sorry to be the bearer etc.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:27, Reply)