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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Long thread is long, and ace btw,
I am being threatened in cliches over text message. I haven't responded so far but it's getting annoying now. I am trying to be the bigger person (biggest, fattest, etc etc) but I'm losing my cool a bit. When did you last try to be mature? and did it work?

Alt - When did you last lose your rag and go apeshit on someone?
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:36, 197 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
I thought you'd topped yourself

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:37, Reply)
That was just for dramatic effect.
Have I ruined your day?
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:38, Reply)
A foible, but I like a good internet suicide

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:39, Reply)
Fuck off Bert

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:39, Reply)
Somebody on the internet wrote 'try and'
and I resisted the urge to be immature and go 'it's try to you flid!'
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:40, Reply)
you'd be the only one to resist

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:40, Reply)
god, what a twunt I hope you told this spastic to do one.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:41, Reply)
What sort of insults are you recieving?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:42, Reply)
Revenge is a dish best served cold,
was the latest. This is because I am not moving in with a 'mate' in Newport.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:44, Reply)
Why would anyone move TO Newport

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:46, Reply)
They like finding random dead teenagers while out walking the dog?

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:52, Reply)
hahahahahah

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:52, Reply)
lol of the day

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:53, Reply)
Fucked if I know.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:52, Reply)
Uni bro.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:52, Reply)
Newport has a Uni?
I didn't know one could do a course in Unemployment, desperation and teenage pregnancy/suicide
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:54, Reply)
There's lots to love in Newport
apparently...
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:56, Reply)
It's a shithole in Wales
this is like a wart in an anus
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:00, Reply)
trudat

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:01, Reply)
is he being that much of a dick?

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:52, Reply)
He's one of Bobby's mates, Vip.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:53, Reply)
oh yeah

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:54, Reply)
Yeah a little bit, to be fair I have messed him around
but offered to reimburse him financially. He is just bitching to people and writing passive aggressive shit on facebook and now these texts.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:56, Reply)
he's clearly a tool
your reasons are perfectly sound, and you've done the right thing by offering to reimburse.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:57, Reply)
He keeps going on about the furniture I threw out which consisted of
Rotting carpet, A broken lampshade and a 30 year old flat pack desk which didn't have a back and couldn't support anything without tilting to the left. I've offered a ton to cover everything and he is still being a tit.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:01, Reply)
fuck him then (not literally)
make sure people know the story if it matters, and sever ties. or his head.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:03, Reply)
The next step for Welsh people is usually to threaten to contact their
'valley friends' who are all nuts and mental apparently. This has seemed to be usual course of these things so far.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:07, Reply)
Bob, on the right. With Valley friend

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:10, Reply)
Oh my god
I have all those books. I started reading them when I was 12, and by the time I'd collected all 100 or so, I couldn't bring myself to throw them away.

I think the idea was to pass them on to the granddaughters at some point, but they're now far too old and sophisticated.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:13, Reply)
I fucking loved Sweet Valley High!
You know the author has done an adult one now (no not adult adult) but where they're like 30 or whatever
(I helped save b3ta! Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:24, Reply)
googles
bugger me, they're falling out again? That lost its dramatic effect after the second or third time.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:31, Reply)
Tell him to Man The Fuck Up and get off your case if he wants his "financial reimbursement".

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:58, Reply)
I've never been mature.
If I ever tried, I would fail.

Now, fuck of Bret.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:41, Reply)
Is that like Mull of Kintyre?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:46, Reply)
Yes, all that mist rolling in from the sea nonsense.
Sould have stuck to getting Hi Hi Hi.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:52, Reply)
I called the miserable old bitch downstairs
a miserable old woman, just held off on the bitch bit
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:41, Reply)
oh burn
someone once called me bitter
it stung a bit
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:43, Reply)
Someone once called me apathetic
I didn't care
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:47, Reply)
I call you a pathetic bender ACTUALLY
but your apathy prevented your reading the whole insult.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:49, Reply)
Sticks and stones may break my bones...
...so please don't hit me with sticks and stones
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:54, Reply)
what's the difference between ignorance and apathy
i don't know and i don't care.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:57, Reply)
What does a midget and a dwarf have in common?
very little
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:58, Reply)
haaaaa
that is the first time i have laughed all afternoon.

/steals
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:03, Reply)
I sense sarcasm...
I try not to shout at octaganarians too often
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:47, Reply)
no, I was being serious
it sort of hurts when people call you out
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:50, Reply)
Truth hurts?
She has tried to make us feel unwelcome in our own home for three years and yet i've been polite, contrite where necessary and a decent neighbour, so she can happliy FOAD
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:52, Reply)
yeah, truth hurts and all that
but she probably will
tonight
and won't you feel bad
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:53, Reply)
No not at all, unless the smell comes through the floor

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:55, Reply)
oh, that's the worst :(

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:56, Reply)
If I'm honest it's never happened to me, I don't live around the Sopranos though

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:58, Reply)
neither do I
I'm not sure why you think I live in Jersey, but I don't.
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:03, Reply)
I don't know either...
Where do you live?
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:06, Reply)
virginia

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:08, Reply)
I have a friend in Virginia
TRUFAX
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:11, Reply)
I have a father in Virginia.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:16, Reply)
is it me??

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:47, Reply)
I wantb to vist Great Dismal Swamp

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:13, Reply)
That's no way to talk about ......
complete as appropriate.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:17, Reply)
Post some examples of the threats you've received so far Bob.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:44, Reply)

Started off as fairly long winded ones so will skip those, the last few have been cliches, he accused of me only 'looking out for number one', used 'people in glass houses' and the last was 'revenge is a dish best served cold'. In total I've had 7 messages today and not replied to one yet.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:52, Reply)
Nice friend

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:53, Reply)
I don't think we're mates anymore.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:54, Reply)
Got it in 7

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:56, Reply)
good thing
also: you have to look out for number one, because no other cunt will do so.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:56, Reply)
It is true, I am unloveable.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:58, Reply)
I didn't mean you specifically:
one must look out for number one
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:59, Reply)
I know, I was trying to be funny.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:59, Reply)
that's one of your failings

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:00, Reply)
Did they call you a turd again?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:46, Reply)
is it bobby?
or is it bert?
I'm so confused
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:51, Reply)
Bobby.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:51, Reply)
I am Bobby.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:53, Reply)
Pires?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:57, Reply)
yeah or turdd.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:58, Reply)
I thought you were a teacher? not a student?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:03, Reply)
Doing my degree now,
I go out on blocks of teaching experience twice a year until I graduate.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:10, Reply)
I am beginning to realise that I am,
infact, a massive cunt.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:54, Reply)
Admitting the problem
is half the battle. Well done.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:58, Reply)
The penny finally drops...
^ Taken from the standard book of cliches, volume 1.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:59, Reply)
Took your fucking time about it.

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:59, Reply)
i did enjoy that story
a lot
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:58, Reply)
thanks mate!

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:59, Reply)
I think I missed this story...

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:00, Reply)
I doubt it, it was on the popular page for a week.

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:01, Reply)
how are those seats?
and the poor spelling?

I don't read the popular page all that often.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:01, Reply)
More like flailing using-three-different-keyboards-every-day fingers.

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:02, Reply)
it was bloody funny
someone link it??
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:04, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1051491
Oh, that's his qotw suggestion, not the OT post. Whatever.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:04, Reply)
Hahaha!

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:06, Reply)
It's fucking superb isn't.
And I award top, top marks to the lad for posting it as well.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:11, Reply)
I can't find the OT post which was even funnier.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:13, Reply)
Do I have to do everything around here?
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1050074
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:16, Reply)

*blushes* funny is funny whoever the victim is.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:14, Reply)
this is the correct attitude

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:56, Reply)
Alt: I have never lost my rag and gone apeshit on anyone.
Not even as a child, if I remember rightly.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:50, Reply)
I'm told I was a mild-mannered child who would take things in good humour
however, one of my cousins was and still is a little cunt, and one day my parents, his parents and my grandparents came into a room to find me sat astride him banging his head against the floor. I'm told that his parents said he deserved it.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:54, Reply)
You must get near to breaking point though.
Dontcha? Dontcha? Dontcha?
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:54, Reply)
All the time.
I am, however, master of my own temper.

I have found my abilities in the verbal arena have rendered loss of physical control unnecessary, not to mention undignified.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:58, Reply)
You sound like a Benny on the loose.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:00, Reply)
You look like an African Bum Cleaner.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:03, Reply)
And you're SKILL

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:04, Reply)
what does SKILL
stand for again?
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:14, Reply)
I used to think that, but when you speak to proles who have no idea that they are being insulted.
It makes me want to puch them in the throat.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:04, Reply)
As long as you have an audience who inderstands the insult, it's fine.
Otherwise, you're right, you have to tell them you've just insulted them, and everybody gets embarrassed.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:09, Reply)
Too true
Realising that the scalpel like incision you thought you had made in their soul and will never heal up, should have been replaced with "you are a cunt".
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:14, Reply)
You want to ride a brand of 70s bicycle
in their throats?

I worry about you, I really do...
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:12, Reply)
I shall always think of you as my own F7

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:15, Reply)
Also
I just spent the afternoon scrubbing and sorting my kitchen. I'm about halfway through, and it's only a tiny kitchen, too.

I tell you what, my muscles are going to be complaining tomorrow.

Alt: every day, in the car. If other road users could hear what I say about them, I'd probably end up being knifed.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:51, Reply)
You should have used mr. muscle...

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:53, Reply)
fuck me
do you think I'm made of money?
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:54, Reply)
Big bucket of sugar soap, cleans everything

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:57, Reply)
the problem is
that mr b3th likes to flash fry meat before cooking it. We don't have a filter hood on the cooker, so everything ends up covered in a thin layer of grease. As I only get to the tops of the cupboards etc once a year, it tends to be a bit of a bugger to clean off.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:03, Reply)
get one of those metal fat splash things, can't remember what they're called...

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:05, Reply)
Waterslides?

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:06, Reply)
this sort of thing
www.johnlewis.com/230485752/Product.aspx
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:10, Reply)
Splatter Guard

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:10, Reply)
This^

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:12, Reply)
'Al getting in the bath'?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:13, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=6fWOAWSZexk
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:17, Reply)
oh yer, I hate stupid fucking non drivers
had one today, rode my bumber all through town, when we get out onto the double lane highway I let him go around me, he slows down, I pass him, he speeds up
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 16:55, Reply)
Should have used Flash
*Voms on slippers*
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:00, Reply)
Last night
I've been sleeping with my ex recently, and spending a lot of time with her outside the bedroom too. She's gained feelings again, and I'm simply not interested in a relationship (with her, anyway). The other day, she said we can't do it anymore, as she doesn't want to get hurt, I agreed. Last night, she wanted to come back to mine after the pub, and I said no, because it's not fair her continually getting hurt.

Not very interesting really, I know.

Alt: Saturday, had a screaming match with a friend on a night out.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:05, Reply)
I hate it when dogs sleep in the bed, sometimes you have to lock them out the bedroom

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:08, Reply)
You should stop fucking them then.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:09, Reply)
What i was suggesting was that actually that you had been having carnal relations with a dog and had got fed up with it in the night so locked it outside
THATS THE JOKE
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:12, Reply)
Fuck.
I've just realised I've spilled bleach on one of my favourite t-shirts. It's one I only wear around the house, but even so, it's pissed me off.

Poobumwank.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:10, Reply)
The only solution is to walk round with your tits out forever.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:11, Reply)
^ he's right, you know, B3th.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:14, Reply)
best kind of wank

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:11, Reply)
The last time I went properly batshit insane at someone
was about 9 years ago, and I would probably have scratched out his eyes had I not been physically restrained. Cunt. I'd probably still cheerfully set fire to him if I could.
I'm normally far too laid back to get in to proper screaming arguments.
(berk, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:13, Reply)
Did he put a cup down without using a coaster?
I hate that
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:14, Reply)
I wouldn't bring that up too early in your new relationship
let him find out in his own time that you're a mentalist.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:15, Reply)
Ach, come on
once in 26 years doth not a mentalist make. And the guy in question had been stalking me, and I had just found and read his diary which was full of rape fantasies involving me (and only me. Well, and him obviously). Same guy who I found wanking over me when I was asleep on his sofa.

Trying to kill him was entirely reasonable and fully justified, in my opinion.
(berk, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:18, Reply)

O_o
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:19, Reply)
Exactly.

(berk, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:23, Reply)
I think most judges would have let you off with that one

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:25, Reply)
Have you showed him your diary which was full of kill fantasies about him?
He'd probably appreciate that.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:20, Reply)
I don't keep a diary
I did see him in Debenhams when I was at home over Christmas. I didn't believe it could happen, but he's actually gotten even fuglier in the last 10 years. He followed me round the store and only my friend's intervention stopped me from hiding behind a stand of John Rocha stuff and kneecapping him with a mannequins arm.
(berk, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:25, Reply)
What a cunt, i hope he gets run over for you

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:26, Reply)
Do you remeber batshitmentalist
God she was boring - fishing, depression, muumy, everyone hates me, fishing, depression...
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:16, Reply)
Don't forget the crippling fear of vomit
Honkavomapukeaphobia
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:17, Reply)
Emetophobia
actually.
(berk, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:18, Reply)
Barfachuckahurlaphobia
ACTUALLY
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:19, Reply)
vomitylolz

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:21, Reply)
She was back the other day
Stopped just long enough to whinge about us, then fucked off again.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:18, Reply)
Brilliant, classic internet

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:19, Reply)
I noticed that
also she told Bob (under the mistaken impression that he was Bert) to take pictures of himself dying on QOTW
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:20, Reply)
There is so much wrong with this post!

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:21, Reply)
was it gonz who put
that her posts were tedious, he didn't give a fuck about fishing, and her cat had a shit name?

that was a moment of genius, it has to be said.

i didn't mind her at all until the roger thing, and i felt v sorry when she lost her mum. but roger... then i lost all patience.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:21, Reply)
And she threw her cat through a window
Who was Roger, or was she rogered?
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:23, Reply)
Rogerthestarfish
that was her sockpuppet.
(berk, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:25, Reply)
She did WHAT?
Although I do understand the urge...
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:25, Reply)
I think it was an accident, but she got loads of "joking" stick for it
the cat was her best friend so it smarted a bit
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:26, Reply)
hadn't it cost about £1,000000,000000
at the vet the week before when it swallowed a load of quarters??
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:28, Reply)
Silly batshitmentalist
cat is not fruit machine
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:30, Reply)
pull it's tail and wait for it to shit money

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:31, Reply)
it is not fair to make people laugh when they are drafting a letter before action
(to a tenant who is storing rotting vegetable matter in the common parts of a building).

not fair, drac.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:34, Reply)
ha hahaha

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:31, Reply)
It was the week after, and he'd swallowed a penny that they found on an x-ray.
That was me making sure my cat was ok.

Go buy some shoes or something you stuck up snobcuntwhore.
(nolongernuts, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 9:48, Reply)
PsychoChomp wasn't it?
Didn't he get naughty stepped as a result?
(TheColonel, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:56, Reply)
i thought it was gonz

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:59, Reply)
Mature? Me?
Alt: Not for a very very long time. The last instant I can remember apart from telling one person what I thought of them, was four years or so ago when I threatened to pour beer on someones head unless they shut up.
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:17, Reply)
hello you
how are you?????
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:18, Reply)
Good thanks
bizarrely tired. I wonder if I'm sleepwalking or something again. How are you?
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:19, Reply)
torn between staying here til about 2am, which i SHOULD do
and going to westfield and spending some serious cash, which is what i WANT to do.

which should it be?

oh noes, being tired isn't good. can you force yourself to stay up til midnight and then get a good 10 hours sleep??
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:20, Reply)
Westfield and get the Singapore Noodles from the chinese place under the cinema

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:23, Reply)
it might have to be westfield
i need.... stuff. lots of.... stuff.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:26, Reply)
I suggest shoes and lacy things
could you pop into Hollister and get me a blue checked shirt please?
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:27, Reply)
mmmmmm hollister
mmmmmmmm almost-naked male models

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm aftershave

sorry, what did you want??
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:28, Reply)
A friend of mine used to do that for A&F
and he has twin, sickening they were, nice chaps though
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:29, Reply)
christ
bring them to the bash???
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:29, Reply)
I notice there is no invite for me in this post, so no, i shan't

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:31, Reply)
the bash is an OPEN invite you dicklick!

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:33, Reply)
I'm seconding swipes bash invite

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 18:04, Reply)
Could you pop into your holster and shoot NakedApe please?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:28, Reply)
It's rude to talk about a lady's bits in public

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:29, Reply)
Stay and work
you can shop tomorrow :) in the secure knowledge you've made a dent.
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:26, Reply)
i am going out with Insolvencyboy tomorrow night
he's on secondment and lonely, so emailed to say he needs a gossip fix.

oh god i've turned him gay, haven't i?!?!?!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:27, Reply)
wouldn't be the first...

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:34, Reply)
............. or the last.................

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:35, Reply)
GET YOUR DEVIL EYES OFF ME!!!

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:36, Reply)
you wish, bobster
you wish! xx
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:39, Reply)
maybe a little ;)

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:46, Reply)
haha yes you have

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 18:03, Reply)
Finish your work
and then go and spree in the safe and happy knowledge of a job well done.
(berk, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:28, Reply)
only the 24 hour tesco would be open by the time i'd finished!
doom.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:30, Reply)
Childcare update for those that care, otherwise move along please.
By a combination of threats and silence I have today got my ex to agree to sit down and discuss the points in my letter. I suggested a third party be present as I believe I can illustrate how unreasonable she's being, and with a witness she may be less inclined to be all-out unreasonable, as she's a devious cunt who wants to look like she's not being an arsehole.

This is a small step but a huge advance on this morning when she told me she had no intention of even replying to my letter.

I feel marginally better about this situation, in a nervous kind of way.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:41, Reply)
Good luck pal.
Hope you get what you want.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:43, Reply)
Thank you

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 18:04, Reply)
Who would you have as the witness?
Anyone you know will be seen as being partial.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:48, Reply)
GET A LAWYER
pro-bono clinic??
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:58, Reply)
Her mate upstairs who is also a single dad
and a voice of reason/kind of an ally of mine.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 18:03, Reply)
is that the one you hate because he buys your child nice things?

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 18:05, Reply)
good call
someone she is mates with should help your cause if I have read the situation right from my vantage point.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 18:11, Reply)
that certainly seems like a step in the right direction
hope it works out in your favour.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 17:52, Reply)
Thanks old boy

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 18:04, Reply)
wahey! I don't know what you're talking about but I hope it works out well for you.

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 18:05, Reply)

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