My CV is about 13 years out of date
I feel this may hinder me
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 11:46, 2 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

If mine was 13 years out of date, it would read:
Skills: Climbing trees, reading at the level of a 15 year old, skipping.

I feel I would struggle to make that into two pages.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 30 Mar 2011, 11:47, Reply)

LOL AND UR 33 YEARS OLD NOW ! LOLOLOLOLO....etc.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 11:48, Reply)

Pfft, don't be silly Gonz, I'll never be 33.
That would make me OLD. I don't want to be old.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 30 Mar 2011, 11:50, Reply)

So just fat then

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 11:51, Reply)

*checks calendar"
Fuck, I'll be OLD in five months. Sure sneaks up on ya
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 11:54, Reply)

And in spite of this,
you will still be GAY.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 11:55, Reply)

I am embarrased to note that it has taken me 35 minutes
to award this a dismal 3/10. No imagination whatsoever.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:30, Reply)

hold on
what age and what date?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 11:57, Reply)

I'll be 33
Five months on Saturday
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:09, Reply)

I'll be 33..
3 years ago *sob*
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:10, Reply)

And you can't use the "you're as old as the woman you feel" excuse
I assume
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:25, Reply)

That makes me older!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:44, Reply)

I KNEW it!
Only because judging by the adorable FB pics of Liam's birth Mrs Cow's daughter must be in her late teens...

Is this creepy? It's creepy, isn't it
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:48, Reply)

DARTH STRIKES AGAIN

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 13:25, Reply)

She is 21 now so she will have JUST been a teenager

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 13:27, Reply)

you old bastard

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:12, Reply)

Surely you knew how old I was?
Everyone knows. Along with my real name, location and the job title I was somewhat erroneously given by the BBC in December.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:25, Reply)

yeah, my short term memory isn't what it once something

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:26, Reply)

In which case
I'm 27, you wrinkly shite
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:31, Reply)

ha, you wish old man

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:43, Reply)

I actually don't
but only because if I was as immature as I was at 27 now Ms Foxtrot is 29 I'd last about two fucking seconds
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:49, Reply)

I'll be 23 in 2 months.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:24, Reply)

Stone?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:24, Reply)

he's way beyond that

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:25, Reply)

Haha

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:32, Reply)

Being old is great, you know all those conversations you have in your head when you're young that end up causing you not to say anything, like...
Loud: "Hay Bella, you fancy going to McDonalds for a burger?"
Inside head "Nah', I fancy KFC..... but their chicken is nicer and I want chicken.... it's not that much further away.... McDonalds is a bit cheaper, but not as nice, I don't mind spending the extra quid or two.... I guess the sauces are nicer at McDonalds.... why can't we go different places and meet up in the park to eat it?.... You're really never going to speak to me again if I get KFC instead?..... everyone is laughing behind my back if I go KFC?....."
Outside Head "Yeah', ok then".

.... they go away when your'e older.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 11:55, Reply)

I am actually looking forward to being old enough to get away with saying exactly what I think about people and it being endearing.

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 30 Mar 2011, 11:56, Reply)

I can't see that happening

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 11:57, Reply)

It's great, people think you're joking when you chat them up, but eventually someone will take up what you say seriously.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 11:59, Reply)

you could always just smash up some shops and throw some litter around london?
or does one need to be hiding behind a mask for that sort of thing?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:12, Reply)

Miaow!
Probably put some of your very wealthy clients (who don't pay tax and squash the small working man) to great inconvenience and expense.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:14, Reply)

a lot of my clients are charities and pension funds
if that helps you?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:16, Reply)

those bastards

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:16, Reply)

i NOE, right?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:18, Reply)

Fucking charities
They've got loads of money.

Do charities give money to charity?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:22, Reply)

Yeah', everyone who's wealthy doesn't pay tax and they all squash the small man.
Fuck off, if you're apart of the anti-capitalists, you're deteriating their point with your gross generalisations, if you're part of the captialists, then you're showing off a great ununderstanding of the anti capitalist point and deteriating their point.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:27, Reply)

Oh, there you are.
Just been catching up on your very mature and grown up approach to politics from over the weekend.

For your information, my dear, although you are undoubtedly intelligent enough to go far in your chosen career with your specialist knowledge, before you start slagging me off and suggesting that being heterosexual means I'm not a feminist, you engage your phenomenal brain to realise that you're talking absolute horseshit.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:18, Reply)

ssssh little barmaid, just get me that vodka and coke, there's a good girl
although mine would be a pint of bitter too if my degree had gotten me precisely nowhere in our chosen career.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:28, Reply)

It's the thought that a barmaid can't have a political opinion that got capitalists in that mess in the first place.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:29, Reply)

nah, i've been a barmaid myself
i did it all through uni and all through the college of law. you never hear more politics than when standing behind a bar. unless it's in the back seat of a london black cab, that is!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:36, Reply)

Why do you dislike me quite so much, Swipe?
The reason I'm still working in a pub is because I haven't applied for any other jobs yet.

I'm not the bitter one who started having a pop at you for no reason. Fuck knows why you've decided you don't like me. To be honest, I couldn't give two fucks. You're dull, vapid and frankly, very irritating - but I was happy to ignore you.

Now please cunt the fuck off and go kick some poor people with your stupidly expensive shoes, OK darling?
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:31, Reply)

bend over then?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:37, Reply)

So, again, no argument other than to insult me.
Seriously, I'd like you to explain why:

A) I'm not allowed to be a feminist if I'm heterosexual,
B) What you have against people expressing political opinion, and
C) Why you can't answer anything without resorting to childish insults and pointing out that you earn more than most people.

If the answer to any (or all) of these is "because I don't understand", I'll be happy to explain.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:40, Reply)

can you explain to the rest of us:
a) why you are so easily baited
b) why you frequently bring politics up on a puerile comedy website
c) shut up
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:42, Reply)

.
A) I'm not baited that easily, as shown with the last thread - I object to unprincipled accusations being made about me when I'm not here to defend myself or explain something.

B) I'd like to keep it to the peurile comedy, but people feel the need to constantly bring up the fact that I disagree with the government. I have many other outlets for political discussion, and frankly, I'm bored of justifying my beliefs to people on /OT who couldn't really give a fuck about politics, and just want to be antagonistic.

C) Who are you, David Cameron?
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:46, Reply)

A) For A) see B)

B) It gets brought up because it goads you into a reaction because you seem to take yourself very seriously.
( Kroney, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:48, Reply)

What can I say?
Ignorance irritates me.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:50, Reply)

Ask yourself if somebody that ignorant
would be able to instantly home in on precisely the right buttons to wind up an earnest young left-wing political activist.

On a puerile comedy website where everybody baits and goads everybody else.
( Kroney, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:52, Reply)

This is the last I'm saying on the matter:
Yes, I do believe that Swipe accusing me of not being a feminist because I had a weekend with BB was a statement borne out of ignorance.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:56, Reply)

Ok, well you're wrong.
Sorry.
( Kroney, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:58, Reply)

hopefully it's not the last you are listening to on the matter
no one belives that all feminists are lesbians. if you think she was serious about that then you aren't as smart as you give yourself credit for.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:59, Reply)

*listens*
I'd prefer the patronising insults to be done when I'm around to defend myself though.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 30 Mar 2011, 13:04, Reply)

that is at least understandable

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 13:06, Reply)

pffft
your vanity is so colossal that you would seek them out if they were buried 3 years ago.

as you proved. by saying "i've been catching up on..." why were you looking then??

sorry but like most feminists who don't realise that their time passed in the 1960's and there are many other ways to get on in life these days, you are only bringing women into ill-repute here. the boys have got a MUCH better handle on me than you have, "sister".
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 13:08, Reply)

bah
it's not ignorance, it's a different point of view, taken to extremes because it baits you.

You are entitled to your views, so are others, even if you think it is because they are ignorant.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:53, Reply)

Please continue like this
you are earning my title of 'Baity McBaiterson'.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:50, Reply)

your answer to B defies your answer to A
people are antagonistic because you are easily baited.

Clearly you have strong views, to which you are entitled, but the way you react, like you have to swipey here, makes you come across as fairly rabid.

I don't want to get too much into this, but you do bring it up, as much as anyone else does, if not more. As evidenced by your throwaway answer to my silly question C)

To put this in context: I'm here because I'm bored and I don't really give a shit what people talk about, as long as it is interesting. I'm trying to help though, by giving my opinion on a couple of things, which might help you chill out a bit.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:51, Reply)

you're like Gandhi on here innit.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:53, Reply)

I'm all zen and shit
snoogins
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:54, Reply)

I love you.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:54, Reply)

you and me both brother

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:57, Reply)

Sorry, the answer to C was a fairly bad joke - I suppose I'll have to do a Chompy and explain it (and then possibly rape you):

David Cameron just told someone to shut up on PMQs about half an hour ago. Now, smell this rag...
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:54, Reply)

that was kind of my point
chucking in what is essentially an in-joke amounts to bringing up politics
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:57, Reply)

But that was part of the joke!
I was playing on your accusation that I always bring up politics. It was all ironic and shit.

(Yes, feel free to do a strikethrough on 'all ironic and')
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 30 Mar 2011, 13:00, Reply)

ok, I'll let you have that one

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 13:01, Reply)

people who have to point out irony and/or humour
are not being ironic and/or humorous.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 13:11, Reply)

I find politics and economics quite interesting, I like to see people animated about a subject, any subject really.
I can apprechate pretty much all forms of passion except maybe about football or sports. This place is more about creative writing than purial humour, although that is where it's roots are.

I disagree with half the points of both of the two people involved here, no one is right or wrong on this one.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:57, Reply)

fuck you
I'm right!

actually I agree. People talking about stuff when they know more than me about it is very interesting.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:58, Reply)

Hahah yes, this is a creative writing group, you are bang on the money there Gonz.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 13:01, Reply)

It's funny because Al is a mong.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 13:04, Reply)

I think we've all lost track of the important thing..... bloody minges.
Can we please talk a bit more about bloody minges.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 13:05, Reply)

A) Yes you are
B) People do have political opinions, they in the main choose not to air them due to tedious content. Militant lesbianism is laughable which is why people rip on you.
C) You're a fucking slag
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:53, Reply)

there is no way i would bother to form a viewpoint strong enough to have an argument on here
with someone on here. you just go back to calling me back to vapid and dull, which of course is you arguing without insulting me at all, isn't it "darling"?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:55, Reply)

you writing darling so often is giving me the horn.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:56, Reply)

Well, you wouldn't answer otherwise would you, sweetness?

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:57, Reply)

i'm eating an itsu
so my time for you is limited to what i can spare between forkfuls.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 13:01, Reply)

Shame man, I was rather enjoying that.
I'd quite like a fight.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 13:02, Reply)

*offers Noel outside*

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 13:05, Reply)

itsu rare panda steak with caviar sauce
forkfulls firing people with large families that they can't afford
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 13:03, Reply)

+from a trebuchet.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 13:03, Reply)

ha ha ha

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 13:04, Reply)

woah, uncanny
look down the page a little
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 13:05, Reply)

*ancient siege engine fives*

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 13:06, Reply)

The fact that you think that what I do to earn money means that I'm not entitled to have any opinion or education
just shows your ridiculous, overprivileged world view.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:32, Reply)

Because someone earns more than you doesn't make them privileged
it means they have worked harder or are more intelligent than you.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:50, Reply)

She's had much more privilege in life than most.
I know this, because she brings it up to deny her privilege all the time.

"Oh yes, I went to public school, but I went on a scholarship, so that means I wasn't overprivileged or anything!"
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:52, Reply)

maybe, but not everyone
And anyway aside from "old money" people who went to Public school etc did so because their parents were more succesful as they worked harder/were more intelligent.

Any suggestion that poeple who have more should be brought down to a lower level of wealth to balance things out is retarded, there will always be poorer people because they just don't have the capacity to do better with their lives, it's no one's fault but their own.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:56, Reply)

The trouble is, I find, is when you have a second class citizian, that is pretty much the precluder to any civil war.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:58, Reply)

I never said that
It clearly is retarded. I just think a little more compassion for people who aren't as lucky wouldn't go amiss in the world.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:58, Reply)

There is no such thing as luck - only those who do and those who don't

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:59, Reply)

What about if someone
worked really hard and got a really good job, but then they got struck by lightning and became paralysed, so they couldn't work and had to go on DLA. Are they then a second-class citizen who isn't entitled to opinions?
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 30 Mar 2011, 13:02, Reply)

they should be put down, only fair really

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 13:03, Reply)

I favour a great big trebuchet as the method
or the "Cripapult" as I call it
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 13:04, Reply)

You are both Obi Wan Kenobi and Yoda
AICMTP
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 13:06, Reply)

the universe is hostile and impersonal
devour to survive. So it is, so it's always been.

Lab: hopefully you at least will get this
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 13:00, Reply)

film quote? Or are you coming over all scifi today?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 13:01, Reply)

from a Tool song
the whole thing is appropriate: Credulous at best your desire to believe in angels in the hearts of men.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 13:03, Reply)

Yes I got it, Vicarious ;)

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 13:06, Reply)

*tool fives*
and by that I don't mean we are banging our tools together
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 13:08, Reply)

Glad you clarified that fella

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 13:08, Reply)

*clicks*

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 13:11, Reply)

er........... when have i ever denied being spoiled rotten?
why should i deny what my dad worked his arse off to achieve for his family? i'm extremely proud of him and reverse snobbery is no better than snobbery.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:58, Reply)

It's worse as the people doing are generally filthy commoners whose opinions are weighed down with bitterness and coal

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 13:00, Reply)

I'm clicking this hard
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 13:15, Reply)

I'll click you hard
IFYOUNKNOWHATIMEAN
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 13:18, Reply)

That's not always the case, it could be that their parents have done soo.
And I don't see anything wrong with that, what's the point in working and saving hard/inteligantly all your life if the goverment is just going to take it away from those you care about?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:53, Reply)

I was told the other week that my CV is not only out of date, but totally in the wrong format
Apparently someone decided the layout should change, and never told me. This would explain why none of my recent applications have elicited so much as a FOAD.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 30 Mar 2011, 11:49, Reply)

A bloke I work with wrote is CV on a skateboard using blackboard paint and chalk.
He got the job.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:28, Reply)

Was he applying for a job as a hipster?
Cos that would be COOL.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:34, Reply)

Copywriter for an action sports website =)

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 30 Mar 2011, 12:53, Reply)