Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Mental thread is mentalI'm going golfing today for the first time in over 5 years with my dad and godfather. On the one hand, being back in Fife will mean a decent course with proper contours and well maintained greens. On the other though it will take me just 10 minutes before I remember how bloody frustrating and difficult the game is.
What experience do you like the idea of but actually hate in practice?
alt: which character from The Simpsons would you have sex with?
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djtrialprice, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 8:52,
169 replies,
latest was 15 years ago)
I've never seen the attraction of golfIt just seems to be a way to either waste four hours or lick your boss's arse.
That said, it's probably more interesting than sitting watching Billy Windsor's wedding, like most of the country seems to be doing today.
(Maybe that should be Billy Wales, I don't know)
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K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 9:12,
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Hey K!How's your stuff?
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Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 9:33,
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Still spurtingI"ve got a day off today, but I'm off out imminently.
How's you and yours?
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K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 9:49,
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Gooooooood!Nice to see you about these parts.
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Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 9:57,
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YesI like to air my parts occasionally. Must go now though. Bye!
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K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 9:58,
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I was at St Andrews at the same time as himI used the finger command on our unix mail server and found his email address. It contained ww as he was in the system as William Wales. Yep, I totally fingered the future monarch.
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djtrialprice, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 9:47,
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Golf is shit.The end.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:18,
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Your mumalt: If I wanted to have sex with a 3-fingered yellow person I'd go to Fukushima.
oh yeah I went there.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 9:25,
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haha mental thread is lolarificBaking. My stuff always turns out disappointing. Luckily Clendrix is awesome at it so I can just eat her delicious baked goodies.
Ned Flanders. He is ripped
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 10:10,
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surely him talking would destroy any potential wide-on, though?(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 10:16,
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DuunoThis made me laugh tea through my nose
thechive.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/idiot-stupid-10.jpg?w=499&h=277
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 10:34,
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EPIC FAIL.anyway, how's the more attractive of the badgers coping with That London?
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 10:47,
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Good thanksI'm actually quite happy I'm working today so I can easily avoid all metion of the "W" word.
Last weekend went to the zoo and stuff it was awesome.
How's the taller of the badgers enjoying the barren highlands?
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 10:50,
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barren.But less fucking wedding coverage. I deliberately came to work even though I have the day off just to avoid it ;)
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:02,
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hahaI think it's making the BBC website slow as well as millions of morons try watching it online.
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:04,
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Fuck all you gimp lords./ac
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Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 10:20,
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Did you know Lab was in a video!www.youtube.com/watch?v=EfzQqyqA6xE
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 10:24,
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Lab's girlfriend, earlier...ljplus.ru/img4/e/x/extel9/110427_032.jpg
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 10:27,
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Christ on a bike...(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 29 Apr 2011, 12:30,
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I just had a magnificent bacon sandwich on hand sliced bread with HP sauceIf that was technically breakfast, then it's ok if I have another one now for elevenses, right?
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 10:37,
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It is a day of feasting even for the peasantry.Go ahead and indulge.
(, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:04, Reply)
I like the idea of pizzabut generally don't actually like it.
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 10:38,
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royal wedding is depressingstill i can't stop watching.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 10:57,
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What's the dress like?(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:05,
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I feel a bit sorry for Kate as she probably had zero input into her own weddingAnd can't get drunk at the reception either
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:07,
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And to think at the end of the day she is to be mounted......by that inbred fuckwit.
Best day of her life, eh?
(, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:09, Reply)
Having to work today suddendly doesn't seem so bad...(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:11,
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Does the fact that he is amazingly wealthy somewhat outweigh......his lack of good looks?
Or in other words - would you marry a Royal for the lifestyle?
(, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:22, Reply)
NoI like being able to be naughty without risk of it making the front page
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:25,
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*calls the Mirror*(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:29,
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The fucking baldy cunt.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:23,
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Has anyone had a fight yet?Love a good fight at a wedding.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:29,
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I hope Phil the Greek makes an almighty gaff and insults one of the darkie kings.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:32,
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They will probably have him sedated for the day.Shame really - as he really is one of the best examples against the pro Royal "they do so much for diplomacy" argument.
(, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:38, Reply)
aren't all the bridesmaids under 10?Still, with some of the guests, you never know..
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:46,
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Elton John is thereAnd I went upstairs and they are watching it in the shop and I think I saw Cameron shoved in a corner
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:49,
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surely the page boys are more at risk from Elton?(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:52,
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Look at the history.Isabella of Valois, second wife of Richard II married at six. Eleanor of Castile married Edward I aged 10.
Do you think these bastards care?
(, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:51, Reply)
When she bends abit you can see her gash :)(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:07,
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WORRA CUNT, EH?(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:21,
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Soz i'm not even watching a tv(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:22,
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Was it on the radio then?"And here is the Royal bride being led by her...ooooh, I think we had a glimpse of clunge there..."
(, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:25, Reply)
i was on my iphone the other nightsomewhere on the tube and it was trying to pick up random wi-fi.
someone, somewhere in kensington, has named their wi-fi...
THE CLUNGEMASTER
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:32,
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haha, epic win.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:38,
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Yes indeed.What are the odds he lives alone and will be for some time?
(, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:39, Reply)
there isn't a bookmaker in the land that will give you odds on such a certainty...(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:44,
Reply)
what are the odds that he has never seen a clunge in the fleshnever mind "mastered" one (whatever the fuck THAT entails)
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:47,
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I think you have to "level up" or something.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:49,
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Perhaps there is a clue.He has looked at an image of a 'Clunge' and 'Mastur'bated himself blind. (Idea taken from Dan Brown's upcoming blockbuster.)
(, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:56, Reply)
Ah, designed by someone who went to my schoolThey'll make a big thing out if this :/
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:09,
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the dress is quite nicetv is off now though
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:11,
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the dress is v nice actuallyand i normally don't like big cream meringues, either on a plate or a person
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:29,
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I don't think it's that much of a meringue...it's nicely shaped though. And it doesn't have puffy sleeves.
(, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:37, Reply)
it's not in the slightest bit a meringue, though.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:38,
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it is a bitto me, anything that isn't a slim fitting sheath errs on the side of meringue.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:47,
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I've only seen BBC photos but it looks pretty slim fitting to me. But I'm hardly a dress conniseur...
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:50,
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how long does it go on for?the train I mean, anything under 100m will be disappointing
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:52,
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i think they said something about 2 metres(
rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:53,
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I dunno.the only photo I've seen was a close up as I desparately tried to find something on BBC news that wasn't about the wedding of two posh fuckers that I couldn't give less of a flying cock about.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:53,
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nahit's quite pouffy. but lovely, i must admit.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:53,
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Are you talking about the dress, or Prince Edward?(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:57,
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apparentlyit's andrew who's genuinely totally and utterly a raving bender.
edward just looks like one.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:58,
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great view of her ass all the way up the aisle.She's no Swipe though.
(, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:20, Reply)
given the state of me this morningthat has to be a good thing for her
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:29,
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also she must be so jealousher sister is set up for life.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:31,
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a shit life, though.surely nobody can be so obsessed with money that it would make that life worth it?
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:34,
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it's not just the money though is it - her parents are loaded enoughit's the life of a princess. not everyone would want it and i remember as a small child reading something about diana where the article ended "but would you swop places with her, in her gilded cage".
i don't think i'd like it, no. but if i had a sister, and she'd managed to nab the most eligible prince in the world - yeah, i think i'd be bitter!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:36,
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really?I couldn't think of anything I'd want less in life than being the constantly harassed centre of attention. I think it's a very odd thing to be in the least bit jealous of. It'll be a horrible life.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:38,
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i think she'll find it v different to dianawilliam is much more modern and grounded than his dad
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:39,
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yeah, but William is nothing to do with it. I'm sure he's a perfectly nice blokeBut her life is now entirely dicated by the public, protocol and the press. She can't do anything at all without considering how they will react. Can you seriously imagine the hell that is going to be her life? Having to consider the impact on 60 million people of what colour her fucking lipstick is every day?
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:42,
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59,999,999 actually.I really couldn't give a flying fuck about the bint.
(, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:45, Reply)
true enough.same for most of us, I imagine. But I'd hate to live knowing that if I accidentally fuck something up I'd be all over the front pages for weeks
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:48,
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she willthey will love her for the next 2 years, then everything she does will be wrong, because that sells papers to the gawping vacuous masses. the same morons who rushed tesco and bought every last copy of the blue engagement dress within 1 hour of its release...
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:53,
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This is why I fucking despair of humanity.that, and Shit Factor and Britain Must Be Stopped.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:56,
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give them an iq test at 5sterilise anyone whose iq is under 140.
sorted.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:57,
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This is the kind of right-wing policy I can work with.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:58,
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it's not even right wingit's just common sense for the survival of the human race
/iq of 182
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 12:00,
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yet you became a lawyer?what a fucking waste.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 12:03,
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i am jokingi have no idea what my iq is, prob much nearer 82.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 12:08,
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I realised that182 is going to be high-functioning Aspergers, to be honest.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 12:09,
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I have never tested mine.Oddly, I have no desire to.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 29 Apr 2011, 12:09,
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Depends how much wine you've drankI'd say you're probably averaging out at not a complete mong though :p
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 12:10,
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Cheeky badger.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 29 Apr 2011, 12:15,
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I only know mine at the age of 10because the 11+ is a direct IQ test.
I suspect years of alcohol abuse have lowered it somewhat.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 12:11,
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I once managed to get a score of 163 on an online thingI ran to Mensa and they told me that was impossible as the scale only goes to 161
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 12:13,
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They're talking arsedepends on the test used of course, but the standard Stanford-Binet scale techincally has no limit, but a practical limit of about 200. anything above 164 is the technical definition of genius.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 12:17,
Reply)
I've just realised you got 163SO CLOSE, badge. SO CLOSE.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 12:18,
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I think it's reckoned statisticallythat the highest IQ person living must be about 195-200.
But you can prove anything with statistics. Incidentally, I googled, you're correct, MENSA don't record IQs over 161. Not that you can't have one, but 161 is their "max" so you are recorded as 161 or over. No idea why.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 12:25,
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i am guessingthat the founder/chairman has an iq of 161
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 12:28,
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hahaI think it's because IQs are based on a standard distribution, and standard distributions are inaccurate outside 3 standard deviations, and the stadard deviation of the IQ distribution is about 15, so an IQ test is only really accurate between 55 and 145.
fucking hell, I could be in my pants drinking G&T and I'm at work debating the SD of an IQ test? I'm going to kill myself.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 12:33,
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i did a mensa test oncewhich said it was over 150, but it was an online thing, so i highly doubt its accuracy
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 12:12,
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probably.I mean, it wouldn't necessarily surprise me of you, but these things need to be quite highly regulated to be accurate.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 12:13,
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i'm v brighti'm nowhere near ridiculously clever or a genius.
i know my limits!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 12:18,
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150 is merely "very superior intelligence"don't get ideas about your station, miss.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 12:19,
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I know what I knowand what I don't know probably isn't worth knowing about. Or summat.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 29 Apr 2011, 12:20,
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anyone that has time to test their IQand then join MENSA and bang on about it, is wasting the intelligence they have.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 12:22,
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that's a paul simon song isn't it?i know what i know... dammit it dg that's right in my head now!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 12:27,
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I dunno, I thought I'd just made up some profound shit or something.Damn you, Simon! *shakes fist*
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 29 Apr 2011, 12:32,
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You extremist bastards.Who will be left to clean my house and make me sandwiches? Huh?
(, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 12:01, Reply)
sexbots.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 12:04,
Reply)
i think it's 50/50i can think of things i would love and things i would hate.
when harry finally proposes, i'll let you know.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:46,
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excellentdoes he wear his nazi uniform in the bedroom?
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:48,
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funnily enoughhe had a brief fling with one of my colleagues a few months ago. so i'll ask her.
she couldn't come into work because of the paparazzi outside her flat... BEST EXCUSE EVER.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:50,
Reply)
no he has a full head of ginger hewitt hair
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:57,
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I can just imagine it..."One would like awfully to give one one. Achtung! Schnell!"
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 29 Apr 2011, 12:00,
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"ve haff vays of making you squeal"(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 12:02,
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"For you, svipey's colleague, ze relationship iz over".(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 29 Apr 2011, 12:09,
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It's at times like this that you miss piston the mostWhat could have been ...
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:06,
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ssssssssssssshmy head hurts. goddam vodka and lemon and butterscotch.
the thought of what you are suggesting is NOT HELPING.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:27,
Reply)
he's a funny guyPop up pirate and all that.
You need him in your life.
(, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:29, Reply)
who, rory?or piston?
to be fair, it is hard to tell them apart.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:30,
Reply)
Have you actually ever met piston?(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:34,
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Then you are extremely blessed.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:35,
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The very definition of 'personality vacuum'.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:39,
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It's the wedding, swipe.It's got my blood pressure up and I'm not even watching it.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 29 Apr 2011, 12:00,
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he was very sweet to me on here years agobut i haven't heard from him in about 5 years. and everyone else seems to hate him. maybe i should bow to peer pressure.
down with piston, yeah. boo. hiss.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:38,
Reply)
I thought he was alrightThen I met him. I think he tries too hard, and just comes across like Arnold Rimmer minus the charm.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:41,
Reply)
gazhe helped me put a pic on my profile many years ago.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:44,
Reply)
he's been wanking over that picture ever since, you know ;)(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:45,
Reply)
what a truly heart warming delightful image(
rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:46,
Reply)
I aim to please, my dear.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:51,
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for once you were bang on the money(instead of arguing with me about how it could be better distributed amongst the 50% tax payers)
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:52,
Reply)
haha, I only do it to wind you up, you know.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:54,
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but i thought i was winding YOU up?it's a vicious circle (raaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh)
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:57,
Reply)
would it make you happy if I was upset, ONLINE? (
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:58,
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i'd love itbut al and bella are much more fun to bait. they think i mean it. whereas everyone else knows that only 50% of what you say when you are joking is true.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 11:59,
Reply)
waaaaah! waaaah!it's only because I want my stupidly expensive sports cars back. Although I'd still not touch an SLK with Chompy's and Al pushing ;)
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 12:01,
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that is also a gross imagepushing it with WHAT?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 12:07,
Reply)
hips don't lie.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 12:26,
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Dunno about the Simpsons, but I would totally do Lois out of Family GuyEh? WHALLOP
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broadsword, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 12:42,
Reply)
OH BOY !cache.gawker.com/assets/images/kotaku/2011/04/peach.jpg.... slightly saucy, rather than NSFW.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 29 Apr 2011, 13:00,
Reply)
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