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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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What a good question
just promise me not to put anything on Facebook until we've talked with our parents, probably by Sunday.

Mark and I should be parents by the end of November.
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 15:54, 14 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
*is gobsmacked*
Don't post stuff like that just as I'm about to go home.
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 15:55, Reply)
Sorry, girl
I was coming here to send you a private, and then saw the question and thought it was very much good timing not to answer. I can give you a ring later if you want :)
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 15:57, Reply)
Okeydokey!!

(, Thu 12 May 2011, 15:57, Reply)
pig and a pokey!

(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:03, Reply)
WOW.
Congrats!!!
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 15:56, Reply)
Thanks!

(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:01, Reply)
how unfortunate
you have my sympathy
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 15:56, Reply)
Ignore this one

(, Thu 12 May 2011, 15:57, Reply)
I'm pleased that my mrs seems to want kids less and less as time goes on
and she started out not really wanting them
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 15:59, Reply)
A few more years and she'll be hunting them down and killing them.

(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:00, Reply)
Myra Hindley lols
EDIT: This is the worst thing I've ever written
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:02, Reply)
gross gross gross

(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:03, Reply)
Soz Kirizza
I know you hate child crime jokes
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:10, Reply)
i know, but it's nice for other people

(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:00, Reply)
meh
recently it's just been fucking up my plans. One of my best friends is up the duff and it means that she can't come to my wedding because she is due on or around the day.
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:03, Reply)
I'm not doing anything on your wedding day.


When is it?
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:04, Reply)
10th September

(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:07, Reply)
Down Bristol way?

(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:25, Reply)
ah man, sorry her happiness is ruining your life
:(((((
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:07, Reply)
you fucking well will be sorry

(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:08, Reply)
what did I do?!?!?!?!?!!!!!!

(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:09, Reply)
nothing
I'm actually really pleased for her. Wondering how they will manage considering her husband has only recently started his own joinery business.

is a bit disappointing though. They are great people and I really wanted them there.
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:11, Reply)
I imagine since you hate children it's like a punch in the gut.
Poor you.
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:17, Reply)
I don't hate children all that much
if they are related to me or my friends or the mrs' family. I just really don't want any of my own
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:18, Reply)
her brains aren't going to leak out of her
along with the placenta, they'll be fine
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:21, Reply)
have you ever met a new mother?
they do give birth to their brains, except where the kid is involved

only a few admit it, but they do get pretty retarded
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:24, Reply)
Oi Vippers
I'm gonna be down in Bristol on the 10th September to run teh halk marathon on the 11th, it's like fate is conspiring for you to invite me. And you should invite CHCB and Catface too so they don't feel left out.
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:25, Reply)
Exeter isn't Bristol you realise

(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:26, Reply)
In teh grand scheme of things
it might as well be, especially since I have a car, it's, like, an hour at most from Bristol?
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:29, Reply)
yeah, about an hour.
I'll consider it. I mean it.
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:32, Reply)
Woohoo!
I won't be able to drink, what with the half marathon, and neither will CHCB.
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:37, Reply)
well that's no fun

(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:38, Reply)
If you will get married on such an inconvieniant day.

(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:40, Reply)
it's convenient for me

(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:40, Reply)
fair few amount do get stupidly overprotective
my mate Laura, who's 21, just had her first baby, her boyfriend left her and said he didn't want anything to do with either of them
is one of the happiest, most sensible mothers I have ever met, and the baby is only a month old
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:26, Reply)
the ones that really bug me
are the ones who aren't massively intelligent to begin with, and yet when they have a baby think that they are suddenly in charge and know best about everything
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:29, Reply)
hahaha right, I hate the ones that cling to their babies like if someone else holds them the world will end
my friends matt and sandy are uptight anyway, their daughter was about 3 months when I went to visit them and offered to hold the baby so sandy could eat
sandy took about 4 bites and took her back
it's mental
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:31, Reply)
my experience is pretty limited
I only held a baby for the first time earlier this year and that's because I had my niece forced into my hands.
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:33, Reply)
I hope I won't be like that
I hope it very much. And that I remain able to talk about things that are not baby related.
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:36, Reply)
I'm sure you will
my friends and relatives who have had them and were interesting and decent people beforehand have remained so.

The people who talk about nothing else probably didn't have anything else to talk about before they had a baby.
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:37, Reply)
Everyone is different, of course.
But Laura has been a prime example of an awesome mom.
She's just so happy, and wants to share that with her friends.
She's not scared that one of us will accidently claw the babys eyes out. Which seems to be the case with new moms. Being nervous is understandable. Being irrational is not.

Of course you'll talk a lot about the baby, it's a big part of your life, and people will understand that and enjoy talking with you about it.
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:40, Reply)
Reading that made me feel good
I'll make sure more than half of my status updates on FB are not about the baby :)
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:48, Reply)
I've got one that talks about her kid on every status update
and now she's pregnant again so she's talking about her pregnancy as well
and I'm fairly certain she has more than 500 photos of the first one on her page.
When you're happy you talk about it, so I wouldn't worry about it :)
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:55, Reply)
I'm not putting any child photos up
Paedo's everywhere innit
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:57, Reply)
*fishes for invite*
I have my own shoes and trousers
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:08, Reply)
That's handy
Are they fishing trousers?
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:10, Reply)
No, but they are stripier than a zebra in it's pyjamas

(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:12, Reply)
Perfect for Vipros' wedding, I'd think
are the shoes brown or black?
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:20, Reply)
Black of course
There are in my opinion few worse crimes than wearing brown shoes witha suit...and witha morning coat! *shudders*
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:22, Reply)
I got my suit here
www.pakeman.co.uk/category/80/Morningwear

with the second trousers and the single breasted buff waistcoat
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:23, Reply)
nice
I have a dark grey Prince Edward coat and trousers, a high necked white shirt and will have a black waistcoat when I get it made next month.
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:27, Reply)
Very nice
A lot posher than Mark! But then, I didn't want him to look posh.
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:29, Reply)
my mrs hasn't had any say in what I'm wearing
I just decided I wanted to look like a victorian gent, and so that was it.
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:30, Reply)
I should have let Mark to do it
he wanted something like that, and I said that if he was going to go posh, then I had to go posh, and no way. Poor guy, always does what I ask him.
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:37, Reply)
awww
a little while ago we were driving along in the car and my mrs goes "you know, I've been thinking, I looked really fucking good in my wedding dress"

I can't wait to see her in it.
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:38, Reply)
Oooooh
I'm sure she'll be gorgeous! And I bet the moment you see her walking towards you, you'll get a massive smile in your face and want stop feeling happy for at least 24h!
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:53, Reply)
That happened to us too
It's not nice, but it's a better excuse than "we always go skiing those days, so sorry"
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:09, Reply)
that is a terrible excuse
we've only had one excuse so far, from my gay uncle. "sorry, can't come, I'm going on holiday with some gay mates and I can't be arsed to drive from your wedding to where we are going"
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:11, Reply)
How far is Dunstable from Devon?

(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:13, Reply)
I have no idea

(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:17, Reply)
That's really a bad excuse too
I got upset at the beginning, but as Mark said, "If they don't want to be on the wedding, we don't want them to be on the wedding"
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:16, Reply)
that's my view
we've not caused a fuss, but apparently my grandparents had something to say to him about it.
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:17, Reply)
I bet they did
We didn't say anything either, but Mark's mother (the sister of one of them) was really unhappy and had a word.
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:21, Reply)
to be honest, I'm only really inviting aunts and uncles so my parents don't have to look after my very elderly grandparents
as long as one set comes I don't care.
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:22, Reply)
That's a good point
They can help with little kids too, if they're invited.
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:30, Reply)
only going to be 4 kids there
and they are all very well behaved which is nice.
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:31, Reply)
Look, at least it makes it cheaper
We had to send invites out in batches to be safe and still nearly all of them came. Selfish bastards, turning up, being happy for us.
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:25, Reply)
that's our view
fewer people there for dinner the better
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:27, Reply)
I can tell you if it's 130 it costs rather a lot.
try to have less than that.
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:32, Reply)
I think we've got about 67

(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:33, Reply)
we had 220...

(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:34, Reply)
at the meal?
fuck
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:36, Reply)
We invited 300
and less than 80 came to the meal, which was good. No way we could have afforded 300
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:38, Reply)
we certainly couldn't
basically got all our good friends coming to the meal, and inviting a shitload of others later on.
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:39, Reply)
220 for church, reception and canapes all afternoon
125 for dinner and dancing. we kicked out the old folk
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:45, Reply)
Well, thanks
It's been crap until now. I hope it gets better. However, to see the baby jumping around inside my belly has made me forget all the vomiting this morning.
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 15:57, Reply)
That first scan and hearing the heartbeat is amazing

(, Thu 12 May 2011, 15:59, Reply)
I know
I was giggling like a schoolgirl, and the scan woman, very nicely but a bit stressed, kept asking me to stop moving. How?
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:02, Reply)
Ours is always really naughty at scans
It's the wrong way up, hiding it's face, squiggling about and jumping on my wife's bladder, I think it's going to be a naughty little child!
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:04, Reply)
Oh, poor of your wife
How many weeks in now?
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:07, Reply)
28 weeks down some more to go
It's due the 2nd of August, 3 days before her 30th
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:09, Reply)
That's more than half way through
I bet you're excited about it. Have you decided type of birth and where?
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:11, Reply)
Chelsea and Westminster
They have a pool in most rooms so we can decide there and then, mainly the misses wants drugs, lots of drugs.
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:16, Reply)
Drugs & pool do not mix
I want Worthing, but it's 1h away from where I live, which could be a problem, specially if Mark is at work and has to drive home 1h and then 1h back to hospital.

Pool is my first choice too, but I want to make sure there is some epidural around just in case.
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:18, Reply)
They said you can do both if you like
depends how an epidural affects you, which is different from person to person. or you can just float about in the pool at the begining then get out for the birth
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:20, Reply)
I didn't know that
I thought it was one or another. I need to read all the books they gave me.
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:22, Reply)
Don't get too bogged down in books, everone is different so there is no catch all
also, whatb is suggested these days will be superceded by something else in the future anyway!
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:25, Reply)
That is true
I should have a talk with the midwife and clarify what's available out there.
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:31, Reply)
Awwwww
is that why you weren't eating seafood, and why Mark was getting stuck into that bottle of cider like a man possessed?
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:03, Reply)
Yes, that's it
No raw fish for me, which is a shame, as I love sushi. And he's drinking a lot less than he used to...
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:12, Reply)
Well done you : )
Really pleased for you!
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 15:56, Reply)
Thank you
We're very pleased too, and feeling much better after this scan. High probability of miscarriage in my family on the first weeks didn't let me be very happy until now.
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:00, Reply)
Sit down and put your feet up.
Pat yourself on the back.
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:06, Reply)
do you think she's some kind of fucking contortionist?

(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:18, Reply)
Hahaha
Scratch your nose with your toe.
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:24, Reply)
I could do that easily

(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:41, Reply)
Woo!
Congratulations!
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 15:57, Reply)
Congratulations!
Oh that's brilliant, so happy for the two of you!
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 15:57, Reply)
Thank you!
That's why I stayed on water the other night, and why I was holding my belly and not being very talkative... it's quite painful. Sorry if I wasn't very friendly.
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 15:58, Reply)
No no no, it's fine! I can't believe I didn't notice, seeing as you were talking about it
But no, I'm really happy. Hope it all goes well.
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:02, Reply)
Hahaha!
We thought it was so obvious and you were trying to be polite! No surprise Crow didn't notice, as he was talking about music all the time with Mark, but I could barely keep up with the conversation.
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:04, Reply)
Let it be known I'm an absolute idiot.

(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:19, Reply)
HEAR YE! HEAR YE!

(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:22, Reply)
Oh, no, no
You were very worried about your essay, that's probably why you didn't notice.
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:24, Reply)
I think this is unfair and libellous
(We discussed beer as well...)
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:42, Reply)
Yes, that is true
music and beer. And a bit of wine, if I remember rightly.
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:54, Reply)
Gutted

(, Thu 12 May 2011, 15:59, Reply)
But think of all the poo!

(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:01, Reply)
Nasty liquidy baby poo
Absolutely no use for docking whatsoever.
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:03, Reply)
Hahaha

(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:10, Reply)
easy to pour into a mould though

(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:11, Reply)
Congratulations!

(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:00, Reply)
Thank you!
You see? That's why I was so stressed for not being able to see a doctor in 4 weeks, having so much pain in my ovaries. But now everything is fine. In fact, I wish I had been at Worthing hospital before, it's really a nice place.
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:06, Reply)
D: What's your husband going to say about all this ?!

(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:01, Reply)
I'm going to keep it secret
until the baby is 18 years old. Then he'll have nothing to say.
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:05, Reply)
Congratulations to you both
Your life will change completely. It doesn't matter how much you prepare, you won't have prepared enough!
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:08, Reply)
I know
I'm very scared, but if my mum managed, I'm sure I will.
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:14, Reply)
Great. More Spaniards. Just what the world needs.
Sir Francis Drake (RIP) will be turning in his fucking grave.
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:11, Reply)
No, the baby will be mixed race
the father is still a good English, just like you.
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:14, Reply)
The child will be a mulatto, hated by all.
I am jesting - congratulations. Being a parent is the best thing that's ever happened to me and I wish you both all the luck in the world with the pregancy and birth.
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:16, Reply)
black american men love the mulattos

(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:17, Reply)
Well that's excellent news.

(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:21, Reply)
ha ha ha ha

(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:26, Reply)
Just saying. Clearly they're not hated by all.

(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:27, Reply)
OK, all humans, then.

(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:29, Reply)
You'll get a smack for that.

(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:32, Reply)
I'm hoping those brilliant /talk guys will come out of the woodwork
with their unique brand of hypocritical faux-outrage.
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:38, Reply)
^^ JOKE ABOUT WOODWORK!!!

(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:42, Reply)
Well, that's great coming from you
thank you very much.

I find mulattos really sexy. Then, I'm very pale and Mark's even paler, so no mulatto baby.
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:25, Reply)
I'm assuming you think this is a good thing
so congratu-fucking-lations!
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:13, Reply)
I thought it was a good thing
before all the pain started. Now I'm not so sure.

Thank you!
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:15, Reply)
Congratulations!
I don't really know what to say...

(I think you've won this thread.)
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:23, Reply)
Hahaha
Didn't know there was a competition. Are you going to BGB's? Will I see you there?

Mark's been preparing beer for our warming party and is looking forward to you commenting on it.
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:27, Reply)
I shall be at BGB's
(Challenge is to fit more "bee"s into that statement)

I'd like to make it down to your housewarming - I'm still not entirely sure what's going on that weekend. Would be nice to try some more of Mark's home brew, though.
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:32, Reply)
We'll see you on the 28th then
And hopefully in June too. He's not very happy with the last brew, but I think it's not too bad. Now, my tastebuds are fucked, so don't trust me.
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:40, Reply)
Do you need a perturnaty test to confirm who the biological mother is?

(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:54, Reply)
Hahaha
I think I know who the mother is. Is that woman typing on her laptop, feeling utterly sick.
(, Thu 12 May 2011, 16:55, Reply)

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