In the wake of another unsuccessful Eurovision, who would you like to see representing the UK?
I vote for Dumber Than The Average Bear. Sympathy vote, innit.

Alt: Do we really need all those individual Eastern European countries? Can't we just make them be Yugoslavia again?

Alt alt: Afternoon tea
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:07, 87 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Eurovision is shit.
Afternoon tea is also shit.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 16 May 2011, 16:08, Reply)

and Dumber than the Average Bear?

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:10, Reply)

I have not heard them.
Sorry, Vippers.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 16 May 2011, 16:12, Reply)

He should post some links to songs
I seem to remember liking them
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:12, Reply)

the recorded stuff doesn't do us justice really
there are a few bits on youtube though if you fancy it. The video for Blind is probably the best one.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:19, Reply)

I shall check it out

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:22, Reply)

With regards to the political voting in Eurovision
I recommend we only need to change from Great Britain to Great Britia and get the Eastern European votes. In terms of who, I suggest HRH Kate, just to see what happens

Alt: I think we tried that. Didn't seem to work too well in the whole genocide/rape kind of way

Alt Alt: Aye, go on then. Too much coffee today. I need tea to balance out things
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:11, Reply)

Only bit of Eurovision I've seen was KP in her pink catsuit on youchoob.
alt: YES. No. I don't know.

alt alt: no ta. unless it's iced.
Why is it that hot tea that goes cold is disgusting, but iced tea is amazing?
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:13, Reply)

I've never had iced tea
trufax
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:19, Reply)

I love it

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:20, Reply)

Lemon ice tea is the nuts
although I only ever drink it on holiday.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 16 May 2011, 16:23, Reply)

I imagine drinking something that posh in Newcastle is punishable by being flung into Middlesborough by trebuchet

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:24, Reply)

true

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:27, Reply)

Good job I don't live in Newcastle, then.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 16 May 2011, 16:27, Reply)

Me neither

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:28, Reply)

That's embarrassing
Apologies DG. Where do you live then? Am not inviting myself round for tea. Don't panic.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:29, Reply)

In a hole in the ground just off the A1.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 16 May 2011, 16:35, Reply)

Nice description
Couldn't be more possible options for me to investigate if you'd tried. Like your style.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:38, Reply)

I reckon it'll keep the authorities on their toes for years.
Worked for Bin Laden.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 16 May 2011, 16:39, Reply)

Depends on the authorities
If you piss the Yanks off you've probably only got a good decade before their crap special ops team ends their worldwide search at your front door.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:42, Reply)

I'm not a fan, to be honest.
I'm sure if it's made well then it's tasty.
But the bottled and powdered kind is fucking shit.
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:27, Reply)

I recommend afternoon tea at the Connaught Hotel, it's fantastic and is not beset by tourists like other high end venues
It's not cheap though.

ALT: Do we really need Scotland? Would be a more pertinent question.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:13, Reply)

Hardly pertinent
The answer is no. And has been for years.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:18, Reply)

I appreciate it
but as we don't produce horrible chirpy Euro-pop I don't think we would be in with a chance.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:20, Reply)

You've got to give the people what they want
diversify man!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:21, Reply)

I'm in a band to play music I want to play
not what other people want to hear
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:28, Reply)

And that's why you aren't top of the hit parade
Can i also suggest that you employ dancers, I've heard of an avent garde group called Pan's People who are supposed to be good
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:29, Reply)

can I suggest you go to the kitchen and pour yourself a tall glass of "Shut the fuck up"?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:31, Reply)

Pan's People were fucking shit
Contemporary dance is just twatting about. You want Ballroom dancers, Vippers
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:32, Reply)

Are you offering your services?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:33, Reply)

This is like a DnD geek
having a go of World at Warcraft for being nerdy.
( Kroney, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:36, Reply)

Or a LARPER laughing at people with cerebal palsy

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:38, Reply)

I like the analogy
Very appropriate for this forum. However I doubt that either D&D or Wow is significantly more difficult than the other.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:39, Reply)

And I would imagine
that the proponents of both would disagree with you. Much in the same way as you're insinuating that ballroom dancing isn't also just twatting about.
( Kroney, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:41, Reply)

Ballroom dancing is enormously technical
Contemporary dance is not. It's about "feeling and interpreting the music", hence my disdain.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:43, Reply)

I had to go to an event last year for work.
It included (and I'm not sure why, since the group in question had not received any funding from us) a contemporary dance demonstration from a local dance group for youngsters (i.e. ages 7-15), who proceeded to gyrate and bounce around the room, wholly inappropriately, for the next fifteen minutes.

I have never felt so uncomfortable in my life, it was wrong on so many levels.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 16 May 2011, 16:48, Reply)

Shall i strikethrough or just leave it hanging...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 May 2011, 17:04, Reply)

I'd leave it if I were you.
This thread's dying anyway.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 16 May 2011, 17:06, Reply)

I lost my heart to a starship trooper
well, I say starship trooper, he might just have been wearing a tinfoil hat.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:32, Reply)

Its BGB!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:33, Reply)

Is it?
I've been working most of the day, I dunno what you're on about.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:35, Reply)

She donned a tinfoil hat in an earlier thread

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:36, Reply)

aha
that would explain it.

*envisions BGB in sparkly bodystocking*
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:38, Reply)

Cradle Of Filth.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Mon 16 May 2011, 16:24, Reply)

WINNAR
I would fucking love to see that
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:29, Reply)

COF are "fucking shit"
which is ironic
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:31, Reply)

Considering a christian group attempted to ban Lordi for looking satanic, I can't see Cradle getting too far...
Would be fucking funny though.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:32, Reply)

SssSsTttTtUuuUuUJjJJjjJJj!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What are you doing on the Other Side of B3TA?
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:31, Reply)

That german song was blatantly about rape.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:27, Reply)

"The song told me to do it"

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:28, Reply)

It was called "Taken by a stranger"

(PsychoChomp, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:35, Reply)

I didn't watch it
Sounds a bit wrong
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:35, Reply)

I remember that one now
I considered posting something about how the German entry should be called "bumraped in an alley" but remembered that my Mum reads my FB feed. And stuck to making callous comments about the potato famine instead.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:41, Reply)

the German woman looked like a right bitch

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:28, Reply)

She was hot in the "She will stab me with an icepick" sort of way.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:35, Reply)

Sharon Stone lolz

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:39, Reply)

almost exactly what I thought

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:45, Reply)

Well I liked it
and I liked her one from last year, too. But then, I have a proven track record of liking shit pop.

And I still stand by my verdict that Italy should have won.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 16 May 2011, 16:44, Reply)

I'd be perfectly happy if the Eurovision song contest
was hit by a nuclear warhead at its next outing. It needs to be killed.
( Kroney, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:34, Reply)

They cannot be killed
Eurovision and cockroaches will survive the nuclear holocaust
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:36, Reply)

seconded

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:37, Reply)

Afternoon tea is used to gull Americans
into parting with their money
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:37, Reply)

Like the Irish fight for freedom?

( Kroney, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:39, Reply)

quite so
combine them and you get Mrs Doyle
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:41, Reply)

We either need somebody HUGE like Take That
or have a song that mentions by name every one of the Eurovision countries, so they will cheer and vote for us.

Alt: no thanks. I feel quite sick and dizzy, and have a banging headache.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 16 May 2011, 16:42, Reply)

Sorry about that babe
Prolonged exposure to conversation with me has that effect.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:43, Reply)

Yes. You nauseate me.
or perhaps you've remotely impregnated me, and I'm suffering from morning/afternoon sickness?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 16 May 2011, 16:45, Reply)

My sperm is not noted for its preposterously virulent qualities
You must be thinking of Captain V
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:46, Reply)

It's rumoured that Captain V's sperm could blow a hole in a circus tent from fifty paces.
A condom didn't stand a chance in hell.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 16 May 2011, 16:52, Reply)

I think you mean virile

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:59, Reply)

That is the sort of stupid mistake I make
So I'll assume you're correct
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 16 May 2011, 17:02, Reply)

he's so bent that even his sperm won't enter a woman

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:46, Reply)

*click*

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 16 May 2011, 16:50, Reply)

Seconded

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 16 May 2011, 17:04, Reply)

Take That Adele

lardylols
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:46, Reply)

Mumford and Sons would guarantee victory surely?
I would like it to be Bill Bailey.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:44, Reply)

I here gary Glitter is at a loose end these days

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:45, Reply)

here hear...

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:46, Reply)

"Vote for us or he will come for your children"?
That might just work
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:46, Reply)

for in
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:48, Reply)

huh?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:48, Reply)

I'm sure his 'end' has been well and truly 'loosened' after all the prison bumming.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 16 May 2011, 16:50, Reply)

Given that Finland's entry was a poor man's Mumford & Sons, no.
Hadouken! would be my choice
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:47, Reply)

they probably aren't popular enough across Europe
also, if the bass player is anything like his sister (who I know well) then they wouldn't have anything to do with it
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:47, Reply)

I don't like em particularly but should be fairly popular, or am I way off the mark?
have you finger banged a celebrity sibling?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:48, Reply)

I'm not sure how popular they are in Europe
I know they are doing well in Australia though.

I have not. I met her after I met my mrs. My mate has shagged her though. Is that good enough?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 16 May 2011, 16:59, Reply)

No, we want fingering.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 16 May 2011, 17:07, Reply)