News link
Hello everyone,
blah blah rapture www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1388972/Judgment-Day-Rapture-Parties-planned-evangelist-Harold-Camping-predicts-huge-earthquake.html?ITO=1490

However look what Bart Centre does for a living (last paragraph) that's surely the best idea ever?

Tell my your dragons den ideas.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:10, 101 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I like that apparently it'll happen at 6pm local time
with the idea being that it'll sweep across time-zones like some GMT-obeying force of omnipotence.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:14, Reply)

I wonder if I can put a bet on it not happening somewhere.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:14, Reply)

I wonder if William Hill's real first name is Jimmy?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:17, Reply)

Early contender for POTD

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:19, Reply)

I'm betting in school he was called Billy Hill
and they also called him Billy Mill while making wank gestures
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:22, Reply)

I love these end of the world predictions
Foil hat sales have hit the roof.

I wish I could personally laugh in face of every one of them as they wake up on the following day.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:15, Reply)

It's all lolz untill they poison their children.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:21, Reply)

KoolAid really does taste that bad anyway

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:23, Reply)

ideas for dragon's dens ?
I suggest fireproof bedding.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:19, Reply)

Did you see the cement fabric on BBC news?
That is fucking genius who says design students are totally useless.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:22, Reply)

Unless it rains when they are getting it out

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:24, Reply)

Nah it needs to be wet, and it inflates in 10mins.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:24, Reply)

Dont spoil it

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:25, Reply)

if you mean concrete cloth
it's been around for years and it was developed by civil engineers.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:26, Reply)

Well I can't find the video now
but it was an inflatable tent thing with fixed door surrounded by the concrete cloth, I was impressed.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:28, Reply)

oh here it is
www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-13430747
(PsychoChomp, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:29, Reply)

That could lead to some amazing pranks.
I wonder if it avoids planning permision thinggies.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:37, Reply)

I like your thinking here

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:38, Reply)

If someone passes out drunk
you could put them in 5 of them arranged in a circle.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:45, Reply)

Or just wrap them in it and piss on them

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:46, Reply)

Or you could cut out a slab of it just slightly too big to get out a door and wet it in someone's bedroom.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:52, Reply)

depends if it is argued that it's a permament structure.
But I don't think planning permission is the major concern in disaster zones. Unless the local councils are planning on prosecuting the earthquake god for demolishing listed buildings without planning permission.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:39, Reply)

"I don't make the rules Sonny Jim, I just enforce them"

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:41, Reply)

Oh, yeah, the two guys that made the tent were design students
but the cloth has been around for years, as has using inflatable moulds for it. They've just "packaged" it in one box.

Fair play, I'm not knocking their effort as it's a useful thing to have, but it's not their invention.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:31, Reply)

I really hope the rapture doesn'st happen, I wanna see that new X-Men film next month, and I got Taste of London that I wanna do too.
Plus on sunday I'm gonna see that new Pirates film. I got so much stuff in the freezer too, pork loin and some pizza, I'd hate to think that I've bought it for no reason.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:32, Reply)

This^
I've just had to renew my car insurance for tomorrow. If I've spent £319 and the world ends I'm going to be fucking furious
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:34, Reply)

I'm off on honeymoon on Sunday
so that'd be a bit of a shitter for me and all. Could have spent the costs of the wedding on coke and hookers.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:35, Reply)

You could have had them at the wedding

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:36, Reply)

I just got insured on my mate's car, it's going to be nice to have a little range again.
She's massively pregnant so I may get roped into an emergency early-morning race to Stoke Mandeville.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:36, Reply)

I may have driven "slightly" over the limit when Mrs Cow went into labour the last time
as we had to go to a hospital about 20 miles away, rather than the one 1.5 miles away who had just closed their maternity department.

2am speeding FTW
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:37, Reply)

I hate it when that happens, the other week I fancied a late-night snack, there is a chinese across the road that stops taking orders at 11 and I waited until PMQT had a break...
... but I didn't realise that the BBC don't show adverts so I was too late and ended up having to have a bag of crisps instead.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:41, Reply)

I reckon you'd beat any of the inmates there.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:38, Reply)

Happy Candleday Gonz.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:36, Reply)

Wow, I've been here for 30% of my life !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:38, Reply)

I don't know if that is good or bad.
Let's go for well done.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:39, Reply)

Happy candleday!

(PsychoChomp, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:38, Reply)

Bloody hell.
Happy 8th Candleday!
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:38, Reply)

Cock, I've missed mine by 22 days

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:39, Reply)

HEy, we have the same candleday!

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:41, Reply)

WOOP!
Same candleday as Lampito and same birthday as Noel
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:41, Reply)

I share a birthday with JTDF too

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:43, Reply)

It's like one big happy, incestuous family
The Monkeysex's
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:43, Reply)

He's always banging on about his birthday.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:44, Reply)

*ahem*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:45, Reply)

Do we share a birthday? I never knew that.
This is fantastic news, as we can split the cost of buying cakes for OT.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:47, Reply)

Yes, you did know that
we had a birthday celebration thread together.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:49, Reply)

Top lurkage right there.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:41, Reply)

Happy Candle Day Gonz!
Is that tasteLondon the card thing, where you get discounts?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:46, Reply)

Yes, but that's not what I mean, I mean the festival in Regent's park.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:48, Reply)

Ahh, fair enough
Was just going to say we make those cards!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 20 May 2011, 11:16, Reply)

8 years? Christ...
Well done, I think.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 20 May 2011, 11:12, Reply)

I'd proposing a laptop that works without crashing
and some kind of automatic alarm that tells me that lunch is in the fridge and not my bag, leading to starvation
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:33, Reply)

The lunch thing seems to be a theme with you
I however once managed to leave my laptop and blackberry on the train, but I did pick up my ratty plastci bag with my sandwiches in.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:37, Reply)

It is doing my head in
I have a new suspect in the case though. My USB hub. If that little fucker is the cause of all this I am going to smash it into bits
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:39, Reply)

Depending on the power supply in the laptop, those hubs can fuck your shit right up and you'd hardly even know it.
Happened with my desktop - the overall supply was borderline perfect for everything I had on there, plugged the hub in, then some peripherals and my hard drives started failing.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:43, Reply)

It is a powered hub.
I've taken it off the dock, stopped using the USB drives and the hub and all is OK.
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:44, Reply)

I actually ment forgetting your lunch

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:46, Reply)

Annoyingly this is only the second time I've done it I think
Butty run happening now though so bacon, egg and mushroom stottie will be arriving shortly
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:47, Reply)

Also, by the looks of things, missing one lunch is unlikely to result in you "starving".

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:48, Reply)

Haha!
True
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:49, Reply)

Stottie? What is this curious Northern delicasy?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:48, Reply)

A big flat bun
Perfect for filling with foodstuffs
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:49, Reply)

The ones I had at Teeside were almost 1ft across.
Filled with roast beef and gravy.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:51, Reply)

That is a proper stottie
They can resist gravy for long periods (unlike me)
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:53, Reply)

They needed to be,
We were working at Seal Sands gas terminal, and the wind would have blown anything less substantial away.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:56, Reply)

What's wrong with a sweet chilli, crayfish and mango wrap
with a nice low fat yogurt for pudding?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:58, Reply)

Southern poofter
I was t'honarary northerner, while working up there.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 20 May 2011, 11:03, Reply)

I wonder what the ratio of incorrect predeictions to correct predictions is?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:36, Reply)

well, the world hasn't ended
so i'd suggest div0 error.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:38, Reply)

click

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:39, Reply)

I like this a lot more than I should

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 20 May 2011, 11:33, Reply)

I keep meaning to invent rechargeable locater batteries..
..or check if someone else has. It'd be like the keyrings you get that do a ten second beep when you clap your hands. Mainly to be used for finding remote controls. The only downside is if you've got multiple remote controls you'd have to take the visible ones to another room before clapping.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:41, Reply)

What you need, is remote control remote locator.
And then a locator for that too.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:47, Reply)

I can see this getting out of hand a bit
The problem you get is that they design things like DVD players with all the functionality built into the remote with about three buttons on the box itself, so you're screwed without the remote.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:59, Reply)

In makes the main product easier to build with fewer buttons.
You can buy a little cradle thing from old people's magazines. usually next to the double slippers or bath with a door.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 20 May 2011, 11:05, Reply)

Double slippers?
I've got four children, getting just one of them to remember to put a remote back in a cradle would require Clockwork Orange levels of conditioning.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 20 May 2011, 11:14, Reply)

A big fluffy slipper for the old and nearlydead to put both feet in.
Make the payment of pocket money conditional on all remotes being in the correct place.

You need to write a contract up for the kids, to make it easier when you sue their arses for not looking after you in your old age.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 20 May 2011, 11:21, Reply)

This guy's got bad form.
He predicted the end of the world in 1994 and it remained resolutely un-ended. For the second time in as many decades, this guy's going to look like a right cunt.

I'm not hiding in the fallout shelter just yet.
( Kroney, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:42, Reply)

Calculation error last time apparently

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:44, Reply)

Sanity error both times.

( Kroney, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:46, Reply)

Needs MOAR QA

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:46, Reply)

Geek time
IF "%WORLD%" == "END" GOTO i_told_you_so
IF "%WORLD%" NEQ "END" GOTO err_fucking_tit
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:48, Reply)

ha ha ha
*kills self*
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 20 May 2011, 10:51, Reply)

What kind of crazy-ass language is that?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 20 May 2011, 11:00, Reply)

DOS

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 May 2011, 11:01, Reply)

+ TRES, QUATRO
dududududu-dududududu...S-EXPRESS
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 20 May 2011, 11:07, Reply)

You realise that there's 3 decades, not two, right?

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 20 May 2011, 11:16, Reply)

1991 - 2001 - 2011
two.

Also, I'm 30 and was born in 1980.
( Kroney, Fri 20 May 2011, 11:17, Reply)

"In as many decades"
1990's - 2000's - 2010's

He made no incorrect prediction between January 1st 2000 and December 31st 2009 (or 2001/2010 for those that prefer it)
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 20 May 2011, 11:38, Reply)

I don't really want to argue this round and around with you because it's pointless.
I will just repeat that between 1991 and 2001 was a decade. Between 2001 and 2011 is two. That is the way it was meant and it is worded correctly for that purpose. A decade is a period of ten years, that is all.
( Kroney, Fri 20 May 2011, 11:49, Reply)

There have been a lot of earthquakes recently.
There was one in Turkey this morning.
We're all gon' diiiiie.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 20 May 2011, 11:17, Reply)

/welcometothejungle

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 May 2011, 11:18, Reply)

There's always earthquakes.
we live on a series of thin crusts of rock above a massive hot sphere of magma.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 20 May 2011, 11:23, Reply)

Liquid hot mag-ma!
*Dr Evils*
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 20 May 2011, 11:26, Reply)

My thoughts exactly
"Mag-ma"
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 20 May 2011, 11:26, Reply)

Bart Centre is a genius
Personally I would happily spend a day working for free answering the phones in the HR offices of the workplaces of some of those people on Monday.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 20 May 2011, 11:36, Reply)

And telling them to fuck off and die...again

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 20 May 2011, 11:40, Reply)

Or...maybe I could derive a richer schadenfreude
by spending a day on the Samaritans' switchboard, when the Evangelical zealots, feeling disillusioned by the phenomenal anti-climax that has shaken their faith, turn to an anonymous phoneline for support and reassurance.

"You thought WHAT? PAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...sorry..pfft...please hold"
*On-hold music*
"Sorry about that...pffft...sir. I just had to put you on speakerphone, could you repeat what you were just telling me?"
*Uproarious laughter of the entirety of the local Samaritan switchboard*
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 20 May 2011, 11:45, Reply)

and you gave ALL of your money away

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 20 May 2011, 11:48, Reply)

And now some bloke called Bart Centre's taken your dog?
But you paid him to do it?

I'm sorry sir, I've got a bloke on the other line who's feeling suicidal after his missus left him; I'm just going to repeat your story to him, he'll piss himself...
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 20 May 2011, 11:50, Reply)

ha ha ha
massive officelol!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 20 May 2011, 11:52, Reply)