have you twats run out of things to say already?
it's Tuesday, that clearly means we all need to know what each other has planned for the bank holiday weekend.

I'm going to help my dad restore an old wooden boat, then I'm going to get horribly wasted.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:29, 107 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

That sounds like fun
What kind of boat?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:31, Reply)

it's a small sailing dinghy
I've helped him on his own boats before. 80 year old racing dayboats and stuff.

Since he's retired from the law he's working some at a boatyard, and is restoring this dinghy for some old woman.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:32, Reply)

That sounds like a really pleasant way to spend the weekend

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:33, Reply)

it is
my old man was unbearable when he worked. 40 years of criminal law for you.

since he's retired he's a lot more pleasant to be around, and it's always good to pick up some new skills.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:34, Reply)

My Dad is class at practical DIY type stuff
I am fucking useless at it all, but getting better now
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:35, Reply)

mine is too
he replaced the stem (bit at the front where all the planks meet up) on his boat, and the guys at the boatyard couldn't believe that he did such a good job as an amateur. It's a task that they will avoid doing if they can.

I'm not too bad at DIY stuff. Destruction is where I really come into my own.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:40, Reply)

Oh yes
I am excellent at breaking things
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:40, Reply)

it's all about focussed destruction
I may also clean the other half of the bricks on my fireplace this weekend.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:41, Reply)

I knocked a wall out of my flat, it wasn't big maybe 2m across
it produced 27 rubble bags of waste to be carried downstairs...misery.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:44, Reply)

I took apart a brick fireplace
not including the bricks it filled up 16 bags with mortar and plaster.

it's crazy, especially now you have to pay to take the stuff to the tip
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:47, Reply)

Not round here you don't
unless you are a professional
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 24 May 2011, 11:02, Reply)

it's pretty gay that they've introduced it here
but we just slapped it on freecycle and someone said they'd have it.

shorter drive than to the tip as well.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 24 May 2011, 11:09, Reply)

Who the fuck wants 16 bags of smashed plaster?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 24 May 2011, 11:10, Reply)

it was mostly mortar in reasonable chunks
but you can get rid of almost anything on freecycle
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 24 May 2011, 11:13, Reply)

Hardcore for paving?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 24 May 2011, 11:15, Reply)

You know the score
SPACIOUS!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 24 May 2011, 11:28, Reply)

I'm having a house party.
I'm slightly worried there are too many people coming to my rather small flat now...
(PsychoChomp, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:31, Reply)

might be alright
we accidentally had a party a few weeks back when everyone we invited round said they could come.

Turned out to be a really great night.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:33, Reply)

Current FB guest list
says:
25 attending
19 Maybe
and I know at least 7 that are coming but haven't replied. My flat's pretty small, we'll need to open up our bedrooms I think.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:39, Reply)

Maybe's = Not attending I find

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:39, Reply)

It's usually 3/4 of the attending turn up
about half the maybes and then a bunch of people who didn't even reply to the invite.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:47, Reply)

yeah, that might get a bit cramped.

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:40, Reply)

Smooth, I like it
"Let me show you ladies MY bedroom"
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:41, Reply)

I'll be in the kitchen most the night I expect
it's the best place at parties.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:48, Reply)

Can you overspill into a nearby pub?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:33, Reply)

Yeah, or the park.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:33, Reply)

haha!
Buy cans of cider if you are in the park
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:34, Reply)

I'm coming with a minibus full of old hippies on our way back from Hawkwind.

Make sure there are some sandwiches left. Thanks.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:34, Reply)

Food at parties is a waste of time.
We'll order a pizza if we have to.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:35, Reply)

Snacks are good
Finger food
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:38, Reply)

fuck that, just means you have to vacuume up trodden in crisps from the carpet the next morning.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:42, Reply)

It certainly is. Food is not on my mind at parties, that's for sure.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:38, Reply)

Apart from when Dutch Schteve is winking at you while suggestively stroking a marrow

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:57, Reply)

Woop!
I'd forgotten that Monday was a Bank Holiday and had already booked the Tuesday off as a days holiday!

Weather permitting, I'm going to have a BBQ at the weekend, go swimming with the kids, drink wine, go to a wedding evening do, drink beer and try and chill the fuck out for a bit
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:31, Reply)

I'm off to Leeds on Saturday for a day long gig, that should be good
Aside from that, zero plans.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:33, Reply)

Seeing Hawkwind supported by Dr Feelgood legend Wilko Johnson in Aylesbury on Saturday.
Being sick in my brother's garden on Sunday - and I might have to work Monday night.

My firm are moving units in Selfridges and it has to be done when they're shut. This is fucking shit for me because it's not my job at all and I won't be paid extra for it. But as the second most senior person in the firm I have to show willingness.

It's bent, yo.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:33, Reply)

that's a mixture of awesome
and pretty shit
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:34, Reply)

Quite so.
At some point the most epic cleaning of my flat ever has to begin, too. I'm expecting to find some interesting stuff.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:35, Reply)

Didn't you just do this a few weeks ago?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:37, Reply)

I did a reasonable cosmetic job when I thought I was due an inspection.
This time it's going to be a major top-to-bottom clean.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:39, Reply)

"Hoovering" up any old MDs I'll wager

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:40, Reply)

best way to clean up after a party is to get some speedfreaks round

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:41, Reply)

haha!
....and tell them a few wraps went missing
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:41, Reply)

I knew a chap
who sucked a dog's cock for a wrap of speed....that didn't even exist.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:45, Reply)

AA would use any excuse to get into Bella's pants

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:47, Reply)

This is spectacularly offensive on several levels and I applaud this post heartily on that basis.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:49, Reply)

Thank you I rather liked it at well

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:51, Reply)

was it you?

(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 24 May 2011, 10:48, Reply)

I'm afraid it was.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:52, Reply)

It really wasn't. I have no time for speed.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 May 2011, 11:02, Reply)

I used to love it
Looking back, I'm not really sure why
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 24 May 2011, 11:06, Reply)

I never acquired a liking for it.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 May 2011, 11:11, Reply)

The joke is on you.
I don't even like taking speed.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 24 May 2011, 11:10, Reply)

There's a wrap of DMT down the back of my records, I am almost certain.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:43, Reply)

Can i suggest this is a good thing to find and clear up?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:45, Reply)

No need.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:45, Reply)

what's DMT?

(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 24 May 2011, 10:49, Reply)

The strongest drug I've ever taken, by about a million per cent.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dimethyltryptamine
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:51, Reply)

Sounds delightful!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:55, Reply)

It's the closest thing to religious experience I am ever likely to have.
It makes even a very large dose of LSD (500+ micrograms) seem like very small potatoes indeed. It's not something I'd recommend to everyone but if you are strong of mind it's literally revelatory. Heavy duty shit maaaaan.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:58, Reply)

I propose you clean first

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 24 May 2011, 11:00, Reply)

It only lasts about 5 minutes. I can do both.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 May 2011, 11:00, Reply)

Seems a waste
5 mins is too short
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 24 May 2011, 11:02, Reply)

At the risk of sounding like a tosser
normal concepts of time go out the window along with such notions as 'self' etc - 5 minutes can seem like an eternity, or the blink of an eye. And to be honest much longer than that and you might never come back.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 May 2011, 11:04, Reply)

Deeeeep maaaaan
I want some!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 24 May 2011, 11:05, Reply)

I think you'd like it.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 May 2011, 11:11, Reply)

I'm sure I would

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 24 May 2011, 11:27, Reply)

Going to a wedding in Manchester on Saturday
Home on Sunday afternoon and no plans for Monday, I'd forgotten it was a Bank Holiday if I'm honest. I think I might have a nervous breakdown this weekend - one seems to be in the post.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:41, Reply)

What's with the breakdown you old fruit?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:43, Reply)

You've just answered your own question.
Living a lie with his missus is becoming too much to bear.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:44, Reply)

I can't even be bothered to tell you to fuck off
Yes I can.

Fuck off.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:47, Reply)

Dunno, just feel very shaky today
For some reason my brain has decided to dredge up every major mistake I've ever made and play them on an endless showreel just behind my eyes. I won't be listening to The Cure today, let's put it that way. Because they're shit.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:45, Reply)

you're shit

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:46, Reply)

Your face is shit
Your mum is shit
Your mum's face is shit

Look at me saving you time and effort.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:48, Reply)

Hahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:46, Reply)

Share them all with the group
A problem shared and all that. Nodoby will laugh at them, I promise
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:56, Reply)

We can all give him a dig out, persuade him that his life has some worth and meaning
That he's not just another pointless cog in a big wheel, that people really give a shit about his crappy dancing or playing out Combichrist to the witless sixfingered kids of Norwich, and that he'll manage to escape the soul destroying parochial shitness of the place before he hits middle age.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 24 May 2011, 11:06, Reply)

Fuck that shit, fuck that shit.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 May 2011, 11:11, Reply)

YOU'RE NOT HELPING MARTY HERE AT ALL

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 24 May 2011, 11:15, Reply)

It's OK, I think he 'enjoys the abuse'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 May 2011, 11:31, Reply)

major mistake I've ever madequestion I got wrong on The Weakest Link
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 24 May 2011, 11:15, Reply)

Can actually only remember two
Both of which were in the final, both of which I should have got, either of which could have saved me nearly shitting myself on TV.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 24 May 2011, 11:24, Reply)

What sort of time are you heading home on Sunday?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:57, Reply)

Err...
about midday I think. Won't have much time in Manc between breakfast and train. And Rory's already turned me down for a pint.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 24 May 2011, 11:23, Reply)

Ahh, fair enough
I won't be back until about 4, shame.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 24 May 2011, 11:34, Reply)

Never mind mate
There'll be another time. When Forest are in the Prem. Or, hopefully, sooner.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 24 May 2011, 11:35, Reply)

Old Uni mates over for supper on Friday, then nothing much planned
Depends on the weather really, the good news is it's pay day on Thursday and this month is bonus month and bonus was 27% up on last year, whoop!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:42, Reply)

Bonus?
What is this bonus of which you speak?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:57, Reply)

A monetary one, for being ace

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 24 May 2011, 11:00, Reply)

ahh
This explains things
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 24 May 2011, 11:00, Reply)

is the bank holiday this weekend? blimey I didn't know that.
Well, I'm going home on thursday night, and going back to uni on tuesday morning. I'm happy about this.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 24 May 2011, 10:45, Reply)

I'm not sure if it's international...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:47, Reply)

I don't think it is either.

(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 24 May 2011, 10:49, Reply)

Take the day off anyway, just in case.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:52, Reply)

I'm sure I've got something planned for Saturday
but it's not coming to mind.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:51, Reply)

You have that appointment in the park with tweenie67 remember
don't forget the WKD
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:53, Reply)

MORE OF THIS KIND OF THING, PLEASE.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:53, Reply)

We've booked you a tattooist
to make the cockneck permanent.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 24 May 2011, 11:03, Reply)

Blousie's bash, innit
My last bit of excitement before a self-imposed home arrest, really need to save money up for my Japan trip, plus have huge car bills (final payment, MOT, tax etc) in the next two months...
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:59, Reply)

Where is she today?
Probably staretd to sweep up the coal dust that covers her bare wooden floors and opening the doors to try and dry the damp which gives everyone the consumption
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 24 May 2011, 11:13, Reply)

I think Blousie is still in Tenerife

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 24 May 2011, 11:13, Reply)

Lucky her...bored of Tuesday now

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 24 May 2011, 11:16, Reply)

She'd better have prepared the dungeon of desperation prior to her departure

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 24 May 2011, 11:16, Reply)

I wonder how many 'munchy box's' she has on order for the big day

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 24 May 2011, 11:17, Reply)

Well, I'm not going, so I'd say probably none.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 24 May 2011, 11:21, Reply)

I only ever knew my dad as a working career driven man
its a shame because I think if he were still alive today he would have finished his service and would probably be someone I could get on with. The only time we ever did any bonding was when we made airfix models together.
( Peej, Tue 24 May 2011, 11:22, Reply)

Oh man we used to love Airfix modelling.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 May 2011, 11:32, Reply)