OK enough of those stupid questions.
Are there any gigs/book launches/film or record releases that you're excited about, coming up in the near future?

I'd like to see that 13 Assassins film before it leave the cinemas (unless it already has, of course) but that's it until I see Motorhead in November.

Please note, any mentions of 'InFest' or 'CombiChrist' will be met with hoots of derision.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 May 2011, 10:18, 112 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Festival in York later in the year with B3tans.
www.galtresfestival.org.uk/
( girlinthehole, Tue 31 May 2011, 10:20, Reply)

morning bumders
I seem to live my life perpetually looking forward to one thing or another. We need to live in the NOW, Monty! Now is a gift, that's why it's called the present. Or some such nonsense.

I don't think there's anything until my favourite author's release later this year. Having said that, I do have a shelf full of books I still haven't read yet. Angry birds has robbed me of all my reading time.

Also, either our postmen need to start coming round later, or I need to get dressed earlier. That's another one I've just traumatised with my 'straight out of the shower' chic.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 May 2011, 10:23, Reply)

I got twelve books for Christmas and I've still not read them all.
I alternate between a historial novel, a heavyweight history book and a music biography tome. Currently reading about the Spartans, Tamerlane and Syd Barrett.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 May 2011, 10:29, Reply)

Well this thread is flying Monty! :)

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 May 2011, 10:25, Reply)

Pehaps everybody has decided to go forth and minge.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 May 2011, 10:28, Reply)

It's all about the minge.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 May 2011, 10:29, Reply)

Maybe it needs more of a 'toast' angle. Hmmmm.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 May 2011, 10:28, Reply)

Use yer loaf.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 May 2011, 10:29, Reply)

Oh, crumbs.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 May 2011, 10:30, Reply)

You're on a roll

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 31 May 2011, 10:31, Reply)

He could earn a crust with these puns.

( girlinthehole, Tue 31 May 2011, 10:32, Reply)

Earning a crust is the yeast of his worries.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 May 2011, 10:33, Reply)

these jokes are getting stale...

(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 31 May 2011, 10:42, Reply)

I'm not going to rise to your baiting

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 31 May 2011, 10:49, Reply)

This is pain-ful.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 May 2011, 10:55, Reply)

If there was a prize for the worst bread pun I think you would baguette with that one.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 May 2011, 10:55, Reply)

Yes, I think I might be a choux-in for the prize.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 31 May 2011, 11:09, Reply)

D'ough!

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 31 May 2011, 11:23, Reply)

I'm looking forward to the Leonardo exhibition later this year.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 31 May 2011, 10:29, Reply)

*waves*
Hello young man.
( girlinthehole, Tue 31 May 2011, 10:29, Reply)

Good morning Awesome.
Has your gaff been returned to normal?

God, I want a cellar like yours.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 31 May 2011, 10:31, Reply)

Looks tidy but needs a deep clean which I will do next weekend.
I love my cellar.
( girlinthehole, Tue 31 May 2011, 10:33, Reply)

Fnarr fnarr.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 31 May 2011, 10:36, Reply)

Are any of the other ninja turtles putting on events?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 May 2011, 10:30, Reply)

Jeff!

( girlinthehole, Tue 31 May 2011, 10:31, Reply)

Blousie!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 May 2011, 10:33, Reply)

Jeff!

( girlinthehole, Tue 31 May 2011, 10:34, Reply)

Nicole!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 May 2011, 10:37, Reply)

Papa?

( girlinthehole, Tue 31 May 2011, 10:38, Reply)

Yeap!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 May 2011, 10:40, Reply)

Merde!

( girlinthehole, Tue 31 May 2011, 10:41, Reply)

:(

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 May 2011, 10:44, Reply)

Link? I am a huge fan.
Have you read 'Flights of the Mind'? It's excellent.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 May 2011, 10:30, Reply)

At the bottom of this page.
www.nationalgallery.org.uk/about-us/press-and-media/exhibitions-programme-2011

I'm reading a biog on him at the moment, pretty sure it is that one.

My GF doesn't want to go, so I'll gladly accompany anyone who want's to go.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 31 May 2011, 10:35, Reply)

I'm there.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 May 2011, 10:48, Reply)

Last installment of Harry Potter
Cinema in July, looking forward to seeing the conclusion as I've seen all the others over the years.
(Mrs Ballunatic counting calories, not votes., Tue 31 May 2011, 10:32, Reply)

They're good films.
Best children's films for ages. I saw the film of The Dark is Rising last night - one of the best children's book series ever written, but a God-awful fucking disaster of a film. 0/10
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 May 2011, 10:32, Reply)

hahahaha!

( girlinthehole, Tue 31 May 2011, 10:33, Reply)

I'm not joking. I like them.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 May 2011, 10:35, Reply)

*is bemused*

( girlinthehole, Tue 31 May 2011, 10:38, Reply)

Why?
They are English and reasonably middle class (apart from that horrible ginger boy). These are things I approve of.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 May 2011, 10:39, Reply)

They are part of popular culture.

( girlinthehole, Tue 31 May 2011, 10:40, Reply)

I think Paul Ross in the News of the World gave them a 8/10
Mr Ross guides Monty on all of his cinematic choices.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 May 2011, 10:41, Reply)

I don't dislike popular culture on principle - that would be retarded.
But I have found that if most people like something, I probably won't.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 May 2011, 10:47, Reply)

I never assumed you disliked it on principle.
But I know enough about you to suppose that as you say, if most people like it then probably wont.
( girlinthehole, Tue 31 May 2011, 10:48, Reply)

That is fair enough.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 May 2011, 10:49, Reply)

*nods respectfully*

( girlinthehole, Tue 31 May 2011, 10:50, Reply)

Most people are fuckwits

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 31 May 2011, 10:52, Reply)

^ oh, god, this.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 May 2011, 10:54, Reply)

I've not heard of the book or film but I'll add them to the amazon wish list.
I see almost all animated kids films because of my job, but I do like to hear of new things.
(Mrs Ballunatic counting calories, not votes., Tue 31 May 2011, 10:37, Reply)

Is your job 'nonce'?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 May 2011, 10:38, Reply)

I do therapy tutoring for special needs and autistic children

(Mrs Ballunatic counting calories, not votes., Tue 31 May 2011, 10:59, Reply)

This must be a bit of a busman's holiday for you then.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 31 May 2011, 11:00, Reply)

Most of the comments are in jest, anybody seriously dissing special needs can be 'ignored' and I can focus on chatting and kittenz.
(Mrs Ballunatic counting calories, not votes., Tue 31 May 2011, 11:08, Reply)

especially if you read it, as I did, as "special nerds"

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 31 May 2011, 11:11, Reply)

special nerds.
Like Screech from Saved By The Bell.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 May 2011, 11:11, Reply)

I didn't really think your job was 'nonce'.
I am greatly in awe of your patience. When I was a teacher, they kept giving me the SEN classes, and I really am not equipped for it. I suspect my husband is a borderline autist, though, and he drives me absolutely insane.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 May 2011, 11:03, Reply)

because he HAS to get up at 6:30 every sunday to go to car boot sales?

(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 31 May 2011, 11:06, Reply)

hahaha
No, he really has trouble reading other people's non-verbal signals, has really weird thought processes, and freaks out if something goes off-plan.

And he's really good with mechanical things.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 May 2011, 11:07, Reply)

We're all somewhere on the ASD spectrum
Once you see the list of traits, you notice things in everybody
(Mrs Ballunatic counting calories, not votes., Tue 31 May 2011, 11:10, Reply)

Keeping a list of traits would probably be one.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 31 May 2011, 11:13, Reply)

I couldn't be a teacher
I'm with SEN because of the small groups or home-schooling etc. A whole classroom of children would be a nightmare compared to giving my undivided attention to a child one-on-one.
(Mrs Ballunatic counting calories, not votes., Tue 31 May 2011, 11:06, Reply)

I was in a comprehensive in a shit town where the kids had no expectations beyond the dole
trying to teach them french, when most of them could barely read and write in english. Classes of 30+ where almost half were statemented, and the rest just had no interest anyway.

I had to leave before my mind checked out forever.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 May 2011, 11:09, Reply)

That does sound horrendous
SEN and social care are two areas where careers are measured in months and years, not years and decades because people do burn out quickly. It's challenging.
(Mrs Ballunatic counting calories, not votes., Tue 31 May 2011, 11:11, Reply)

Don't go anywhere near the film.
The books (there are four in the series) are my favourite books from my childhood.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 May 2011, 10:45, Reply)

for me they were pipped by the Earthsea trilogy
which our school library had as one big hardback.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 31 May 2011, 11:04, Reply)

Just reserved it online at my library
Will pick it up as soon as it comes in. There's a single volume with all 4 in it.
(Mrs Ballunatic counting calories, not votes., Tue 31 May 2011, 11:20, Reply)

That's odd, as there should be 5...
Over Sea, Under Stone
The Dark is Rising
Greenwitch
The Grey King
Silver on the Tree


And I agree with Monty, they're absolutely brilliant. My favorite childhood books.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Tue 31 May 2011, 15:54, Reply)

I'm looking forward to meeing Labia Majora on the 29th of June
I'm not telling you what we're going to do. Can't deal with hooting on only one cup of coffee.

Am also anticipating the father-in-law's wedding on the 18th eagerly, if only because then all the fucking palaver over the preparation will be over. 9 hours trying to choose a song for the first dance yesterday. NINE DAMN HOURS.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 31 May 2011, 11:22, Reply)

Was my suggestion any use?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 31 May 2011, 11:23, Reply)

Oh yes, immensely
They saw the funny side right away! Oh, how we laughed.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 31 May 2011, 11:25, Reply)

Good to know my humour is appreciated throughout the land!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 31 May 2011, 11:37, Reply)

I found it quite amusing mate
I didn't actually tell anyone else. My amazing capabilities in the field of foresight alerted me to the possibility of lead balloonage.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 31 May 2011, 11:44, Reply)

What did they finally settle on?

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 31 May 2011, 11:26, Reply)

They haven't yet
I would tear out my hair in desperation, if only there were any left to tear.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 31 May 2011, 11:28, Reply)

You fucking what?
9 hours and they still haven't chosen? I'd have put the iPod on Shuffle long before then.

What sort of stuff are they thinking of? Have they narrowed it down at all?
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 31 May 2011, 11:39, Reply)

Yes, we've established a shortlist
In the respect that if you take every song ever recorded in history and remove what they've ruled out, the remainder is a very short list.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 31 May 2011, 11:44, Reply)

that's nothing
We didn't even HAVE a first dance, because we couldn't agree on what to use.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 May 2011, 11:27, Reply)

That was your hubby's fault I'm guessing
Won't happen in this case, much as I wish it would. Not with a dance teacher in the family.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 31 May 2011, 11:29, Reply)

He wanted some slow dance, which for him would involve shuffling slowly from side to side, with his hands on my arse.
I was NOT having that as a wedding dance. I wanted 'If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife' by Jimmy Soul. He refused, as it was a fast dance and he would never have survived to the end of the song.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 May 2011, 11:35, Reply)

I can see how surviving the wedding would have been fairly high on his list of priorities
Your choice of song sounds like a warning
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 31 May 2011, 11:39, Reply)

Just wanted to reassure him he had a happy marriage ahead of him, innit?
You'd think he'd appreciate that.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 May 2011, 11:42, Reply)

But you are a pretty woman
and therefore the song is telling him "you're fucked mate"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 31 May 2011, 11:46, Reply)

at least 70% of the decision to have a ceileigh(sp?) at mine
was to avoid that shit. You made a wise choice
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 31 May 2011, 11:39, Reply)

ceilidh
though the hotel offered us a Kaylee service. That took a bit of working out, to be honest.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 May 2011, 11:40, Reply)

perhaps it was a reference to kaylee
from firefly. She'd fix up your spaceship good as new
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 31 May 2011, 11:41, Reply)

Is she the little one that went to Stargate Atlantis?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 May 2011, 11:42, Reply)

don't know
I did watch stargate atlantis but I don't remember her in it
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 31 May 2011, 11:43, Reply)

CEILIDH

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 31 May 2011, 11:41, Reply)

Is it too late to say I'm sorry?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 May 2011, 11:44, Reply)

Sorry seems to be the hardest word.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 31 May 2011, 11:50, Reply)

that's a different song, silly

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 May 2011, 11:51, Reply)

Oh I see - you meant 'Kayleigh' then.
*May have once (regretfully) shared a flat with a Marillion nerd*
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 31 May 2011, 11:57, Reply)

soon it will be time for the next Game of Thrones book
but since the last one was out 5 years ago and the one before 10 years ago, I need to reread them all before I buy it.

I still haven't had any RandomBurns :( I look forward to getting those..if ever...
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 31 May 2011, 11:37, Reply)

I was meant to be picking up the final part of mine yesterday, so I could send them
But the bastard shop was shut!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 31 May 2011, 11:38, Reply)

does that mean I'm one of your targets?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 31 May 2011, 11:40, Reply)

Nope, sorry
I'm simply saying I'm shit, so it's possible that those who are sending yours are too.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 31 May 2011, 11:42, Reply)

I got caught out too
I arsed around all day and by the time I went out to get supplies for the week all the supermarkets had closed. Which is why I'm having tinned soup and dry toast for lunch.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 31 May 2011, 12:08, Reply)

I've sent out eight, and had three back
one of which was a bonus from Bobby. Have you not had ANY?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 May 2011, 11:39, Reply)

because everyone hates me?
or perhaps I have an unspellable address?

I think Rory is one, and someone else said they would be late with theirs
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 31 May 2011, 11:40, Reply)

Would you like me to send you a copy of mine?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 May 2011, 11:41, Reply)

Oh go on, then
you want one of mine? I might even add a bonus crocheted eyeball, too
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 31 May 2011, 11:42, Reply)

Sure. Gaz me your address
Don't feel you have to send me an eyeball, though. It'd honestly just go to waste. I'm tryingto clear the house of all the assorted detritus I've already got.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 May 2011, 11:45, Reply)

I've had 3 of my 5, which I think is fairly good going
I sent CDs of my 2009, 2010 and 2011 Randomburns to Kristine a couple of weeks ago. I could do you one too if you want.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 31 May 2011, 12:05, Reply)

aye, go on then
cheers

want one of mine too? eyeball?

perhaps next year we just send them to people we know
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 31 May 2011, 12:13, Reply)

Sure
I am tempted to get my local mates to do one.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 31 May 2011, 12:15, Reply)

i've sent 6 had 1 back, not doing that again.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 31 May 2011, 12:06, Reply)

Do you want of mine too?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 May 2011, 12:11, Reply)

yes please,
one of mine is Rory so no chance of getting that. Why sign up to something if you're not going to bother? it's very bent.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 31 May 2011, 12:16, Reply)

I'm surprised he'd pass up the opportunity to be mean to you
When it's someone you know you can personalise it, after all.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 31 May 2011, 12:27, Reply)

I'd drop ouncebouncebinky a note
and suggest she chivvy along the people who are supposed to be sending to you.

Crunchy too.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 31 May 2011, 12:14, Reply)

good idea, cheers dude.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 31 May 2011, 12:17, Reply)