Right, since Monty is very sorry for being a meany to Darth
and Darth is sorry for being a big girly pansy and getting upset on the internet, what are YOU sorry for? What have you done that gives you that horrible gut clenching feeling inside when you think about it?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:20, 148 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I stood next to the Thames with Monty yesterday and I didn't push him in.
I'm so, so sorry /OT.
*weeps*
( thealternativefact, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:23, Reply)

Clendrix, I'm ashamed of you.
You used to be scary.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:23, Reply)

I was experiencing a moment of niceness.
It was awful.
( thealternativefact, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:24, Reply)

I'm not angry, I'm disappointed
And also angry.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:28, Reply)

it's not just /OT she should be apologising to

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:29, Reply)

Are you an owl?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:29, Reply)

no, I'm a ninja

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:30, Reply)

Now I have 'Street Tuff' by the Rebel MC on the brain.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:33, Reply)

Are you a Yankee?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:35, Reply)

No I've been burnt to death in a North London bus shelter.


/Michael Menson lolz
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:37, Reply)

*Sets fire to your anorak*

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:39, Reply)

*turns out not to be remotely street tuff*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:41, Reply)

Or flame retardant

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:44, Reply)

My first vinyl.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:57, Reply)

I've got an awesome photo of me flipping you off

(Bazongaloid, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:31, Reply)

I'm aware
I do recall it being taken. You're just jumping on my bandwagon.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:38, Reply)

I hope your bandwagon has good suspension

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:41, Reply)

Hahaha!
I complimented Al on how it looks like he's lost weight. He didn't believe I was being genuine.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:42, Reply)

what a bastard.

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:43, Reply)

He said it with a straight face
so I assumed he was lying.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:45, Reply)

I don't have a poker face
No amount of energy can keep all those chins straight enough to convey honesty.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:48, Reply)

That's his 'lying in court' face.
You were right to be wary.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:49, Reply)

I'm sorry you were born.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:23, Reply)

were you his midwife?
were you having a midwife crisis?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:48, Reply)

^ should be acknowledged.
*Consider this acknowledgement*
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:52, Reply)

*appreciates*

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 31 May 2011, 17:00, Reply)

I pissed in Clenders' bag when she wasn't looking yesterday,
but I am sorry to say it wasn't a big one and I'm even sorrier still that try as I might I just couldn't squeeze a poo out. At best there's a 'malteser' in there.

Sorry.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:25, Reply)

You didn't really do this.
Your lies are sad.
( thealternativefact, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:36, Reply)

You have caught me out for the liar I am.
I am now sorry for this.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:38, Reply)

You look quite sorry.

( thealternativefact, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:39, Reply)

He certainly does.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:40, Reply)

Haha, that's not fair saying that Lusty deserves so much better, no matter how true it is... and yeah', I guess you're right, I _am_ better, never really thought of it like that.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:43, Reply)

You're right Gonz
it's not on to point out that Lusty deserves more than a washed up old man with a serious drug problem. It's wrong to compare that wreck to a younger model with a promising career in web design AND a zone 1-4 travelcard.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:48, Reply)

AND a new set of outfits from a shopping spree in town yesterday.

( thealternativefact, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:50, Reply)

Stop that Clendrix, it's not fair to suggest the Lusty ought to be accompanied by a man
who has new trousers, socks and pants, rather than a fellow who would happily wear a T-shirt older than the lady on his arm.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:52, Reply)

I love this because yesterday's t-shirt was indeed older than she is.

( thealternativefact, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:55, Reply)

But certainly not hotter
Not even if you were to throw it into the sun.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:56, Reply)

I tried to set it alight
but it was too soggy.
( thealternativefact, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:57, Reply)

Ew

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:59, Reply)

And shirts ! Lots of wonderful shirts !
I tried on a shirt, a 'xl', it was too small, so I put all the shirts back and got 'XXL', and they were MAHOOSIVE, so I tried on an 'XL' again, and it was too big still, so I went for a 'L'.... all in all, to make a dull story short, I went into the changing room 6 times, each time trying on around 5 shirts. IT WAS SO CONFUSING, HOW CAN I BE AN XXL IN ONE AND AN L IN ANOTHER?

In the end though, I got them _all_ to fit, and most of them are an 'L'.

I <3 BHS
( G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Tue 31 May 2011, 17:03, Reply)

You farted in BHS?
You rotter.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 May 2011, 17:04, Reply)

Gonz is a model?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:51, Reply)

In comparison to you, yes.
Let's face it Monty, he's the George Clooney to your Joey Merrick.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:52, Reply)

Is Joey Merrick a clone of Jon Merrick and Joey Deacon?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:57, Reply)

If you like.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 31 May 2011, 17:00, Reply)

a quick internet search reveals that the elephant man was also called Joseph.
I thought the same as I you
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 May 2011, 17:00, Reply)

Joey, Jon or Joseph - it matters not.
He still provided hours of play-ground insults.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 May 2011, 17:02, Reply)

Well I never. He was always called John Merrick when I was a lad.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 May 2011, 17:02, Reply)

I blame the Americans

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 May 2011, 17:09, Reply)

Maybe he had a super injunction to protect his real identity

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 May 2011, 17:09, Reply)

oh, you know
stuff
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:28, Reply)

Are you sorry for living so far away from us all?

(Bazongaloid, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:32, Reply)

I'm really sorry for having a weekend in Newcastle
And smoking in the house and using all the cups.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:30, Reply)

Fucking hell Jeff, how much tea do you drink?
And did you have to read her diary too?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:32, Reply)

I like to use a clean mug with every tab.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:33, Reply)

Nice Dalek ashtray he had, eh? Fucking HUGE.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:34, Reply)

that wasn't the shitter?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:37, Reply)

Nah I used the parents' bed for that.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:37, Reply)

It was after Jeff had finished with it.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:38, Reply)

Yeah, it has a selection of arms and suckers on it for getting shot of the clag-nuts.
It really is a feat of engineering.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:41, Reply)

Look, those kids are not even half your age, Jeff.
They look up to you. And I really don't think grooming the one whose house it was is on at all, either. I don't care if he was 'begging for it'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:33, Reply)

YOU BASTARD!
Fucking good job I don't live in Newcastle.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 31 May 2011, 16:52, Reply)

Sorry DG
*Hands over keys and gets the marigolds on*
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:53, Reply)

I'm never sorry.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:33, Reply)

Not even for your breasts?

(Bazongaloid, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:35, Reply)

Especially not for them.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:37, Reply)

Not even after you murdered Steve Irwin?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:41, Reply)

Hahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:44, Reply)

I get those with embarrassment, not for being sorry.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:40, Reply)

Good manners cost nothing, Al
I can assure you on the day that they start getting taxed I shall become a horrible cunt.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:40, Reply)

You couldn't if you tried
even when you sing along to CombiChrist you apologise at the end of each chorus and ask if anyone would actually like any help.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:43, Reply)

You should see me after playing Killing in the Name

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:43, Reply)

Wandering about the place doing what anyone tells you without complaint.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:45, Reply)

Nah, that's just him in Clapham on a saturday night.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:47, Reply)

I'm just going to nip downstairs and make a coffee
Rest assured by the time I get back I'll have thought of an HILARIOUS retort*.



*Not legally binding
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:48, Reply)

*decides against holding breath just in case*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:50, Reply)

This reminds me of your Michael Jackson anecdote Marty, perhaps it's time to wheel that gem out again

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:53, Reply)

s1.b3ta.com/host/creative/55741/1306842004/bubbles.jpg
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:56, Reply)

every little thing
I have a bastard of a conscience, I felt bad for years after putting a flier I found in someone's bike basket and for drawing on the wall when I was 6 and blaming my little brother. I can't take a sicky without spending the whole day feeling terrible about doing it (I did it once, and I was a little bit ill even then)
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:51, Reply)

Having just read back through the last few threads to catch up, I can conclude three things
1: When I'm not around to soak up M onty's abuse he fires a blundabuss of vitirol.
2: I don't know what DG's kid has done in the past, but we were all teenagers once?
3: darth needs a hug...I say hug, I mean forcefull rogering by the crew of HMS Ark Royal
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:52, Reply)

Oh no, it's this cunt.
We were hoping you'd died.

Compared with you, 'The Fwap' is like Peter fucking Cooke.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:54, Reply)

Glad to give you a purpose in life again

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:56, Reply)

Monty. I am most disappointed.
You claim to idolise the man and are widely known as a grammar Nazi. But you can't spell Peter Cook's name. Kill yourself in penance. It's only right.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 31 May 2011, 17:02, Reply)

As am I.
That's really fucking poor. Now I am sorry about that as well as everything else.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 May 2011, 17:07, Reply)

I tell you what
You ninja it, I'll delete my post and NO-ONE WILL EVER KNOW. In exchange, you just have to not call me a gay ever again.

Tempting, eh
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 31 May 2011, 17:11, Reply)

No.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 May 2011, 17:19, Reply)

Those are some seriously dashed hopes right there.

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 31 May 2011, 17:20, Reply)

Hi DF, had a good day?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 31 May 2011, 17:23, Reply)

Afraid not sir
Nought to be done about it now however. How was your weekend mate?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 31 May 2011, 17:32, Reply)

Oi clendrix.
Thanks for the jam! Top stuff. Did you get your jar from al wookiee?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:59, Reply)

What?
I didn't have a jar for her!?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 31 May 2011, 17:01, Reply)

Christ, I was sober as well.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 31 May 2011, 17:03, Reply)

I agree! It's just a shame they went downhill after All Mod Cons

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 31 May 2011, 17:02, Reply)

Wookiee passed it on and we had some on our bacon sandwiches on Monday morning.
Bloody yum! Thank you!
( thealternativefact, Tue 31 May 2011, 17:02, Reply)

Splendid, you're most welcome.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 31 May 2011, 17:03, Reply)

I'm sorry you're so fat!

( Peej, Tue 31 May 2011, 17:10, Reply)

Loving the related story.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 May 2011, 17:11, Reply)

I like this.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 31 May 2011, 17:21, Reply)

I have just wasted 1/2 hour looking for a file
on an on-line filing system so complicated and unintuitaive there is a training manual an inch thick, nothing pissing me off more than the shit software created at this company, how do you fuck up filing?

/rant
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 31 May 2011, 17:22, Reply)

The same way you fuck up spelling?


/cunt
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 May 2011, 17:24, Reply)

I'm sorry I didn't revise more
I'm also sorry that I was a cunt and stole the last stew-pot from someone who wanted it, snatching it front of them from the shelf. Especially since it ended up uneaten in my fridge
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 31 May 2011, 17:23, Reply)

Grange Hill lolz

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 May 2011, 17:24, Reply)

Innit!
He was big mates with Pogo Patterson.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 May 2011, 17:26, Reply)

He delivered a wardrobe to a mate of mine a few years ago.
This was before he was back in the A-List with the Bev/Kev ads - and the Immodium one where he plays a crane driver.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 May 2011, 17:30, Reply)

He does a lot of MCing at boxing matches.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 May 2011, 17:30, Reply)

That I did not know.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 May 2011, 17:32, Reply)

Well now you do.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 May 2011, 17:38, Reply)

There are some people I need to tell about this.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 May 2011, 17:44, Reply)

Now you're just telling lies.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 May 2011, 17:46, Reply)

I'm actually not.
My pal (the fellow to whom Stewpot delivered the wardrobe) and I are always on the lookout for him. This is not a joke.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 May 2011, 17:57, Reply)

Brilliant.
Well his real name is Mark Burdis and when he isn't delivering wardrobes or selling car insurance, he can be found introducing boxers.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 May 2011, 18:00, Reply)

Never seen it I'm afraid
the stew pot claimed to be M&S cottage pie, but it just looked like stew
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 31 May 2011, 17:27, Reply)

exams started yet?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 31 May 2011, 17:24, Reply)

had first one this morning

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 31 May 2011, 17:26, Reply)

How do you think it went?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 May 2011, 17:28, Reply)

oo, I take it from your post you don't think it
went as well as you thought it ought
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 31 May 2011, 17:28, Reply)

it wasn't bad
but this was the best of the lot, so that's not really a hugely good sign
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 31 May 2011, 17:33, Reply)

don't be too harsh on yourself
and eat some stew pot
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 31 May 2011, 17:34, Reply)

Has it been gayer than usual in here today?
Too much sly cock regarding at the weekend it would seem.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 31 May 2011, 17:50, Reply)

i wish

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 31 May 2011, 17:52, Reply)

I'm sorry in advance for all the colleagues I'm going to murder tomorrow with an axe
anyone invloved in the building of software it going to be hacked limb from limb.

On the plus side this means I can go to the tonight without worrying about money and waistline.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 31 May 2011, 17:56, Reply)