Threads dead innit.
My mum left my dad last week. It's fucking brilliant. I'm from a broken home! Woe is me! Also this does of course mean she's single so if anyone wants me to hook them up, just gaz me. I'm looking for a little money and an outgoing nature in my new daddy.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:14, 89 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I like the fact you are pimping your mam out on b3ta

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:15, Reply)

Woo!
Double pocket money and two Christmas dinners.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:16, Reply)

haha!
Plus sides
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:16, Reply)

d z
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:30, Reply)

Quality strikethrough

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:38, Reply)

I thought that said
"Woo is me" for a second.

But pimping your Mum out is a little weird.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:17, Reply)

Ok yeah, if weird is wrong, I don't wanna be right.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:18, Reply)

As you like it.
I'll just sit over here and judge you.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:19, Reply)

In your fetching scarf.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:20, Reply)

I don't own a scarf.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:21, Reply)

I thought that said "felching scarf" for a second, and wondered how that scarf would look.
would it be wet? slightly damp? Have a pearly pattern on it?
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:22, Reply)

EW!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:24, Reply)

You love it you slag.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:26, Reply)

I do that

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:42, Reply)

Be a bit of a bugger to peel off your neck when it all dried though.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:47, Reply)

It does help the Biggles look though

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:53, Reply)

I'm pleasantly surprised that you would post something like this.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:36, Reply)

why's that then?

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:50, Reply)

You're missing the opportunity of getting a new mum too.
One with fewer miles on the clock.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:20, Reply)

Yeah
You could have a go on her if you were feeling really, really desperate.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:22, Reply)

I don't need a go on your mum, ta
Lightning doesn't strike in the same place twice.

I say "lightning", because I'm incredibly poor in bed, not because I'm really energetic or anything. Just so you know.
( Kroney, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:23, Reply)

+follows a large bang

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:24, Reply)

I thought you meant like, only lasting a split second.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:24, Reply)

You can hear him coming from miles away
AWOOOOOOOGA!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:25, Reply)

You can tell how far away
by how close together the rumble and the flash are.
( Kroney, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:26, Reply)

is the rumble your tummy wanting more food?

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:28, Reply)

I actually properly snorted with laughter at this.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:28, Reply)

Yeah, that's about the size of it.
Woe
( Kroney, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:25, Reply)

Do you look much like your mum?

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:29, Reply)

Which answer would make you more likely to fuck her?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:37, Reply)

To be honest I'm not really sure.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:40, Reply)

in fairness - she can't be worse then drunk me.
I still feel a bit embarrassed about patting your (lack of) hair in London repeatedly..
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:56, Reply)

Haha if I'd minded I'd have told you to fuck off.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 13:18, Reply)

Yeh', man, but only because that would make Poppet my daughter-in-law so I can go to her "WHO'S THE DADDY?" over and over.
It's alright because we're not biologicly related so yelling "WHOS THE DADDY" isn't incest.

Not saying that your mum isn't a delight, I'm sure she is, might not be, haven't meet her, might grow to flourish a relationship akin to Sherley Valantine... I just don't know, it's not a guarnteed thing that we would get along, although I think we will. But it is guarntieed that it would make me poppet's daughter in law so I can yell WHOS THE DADDY at her.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:32, Reply)

You have my blessing gonz, although she's a vegetarian and doesn't do fish so sushi's out.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:34, Reply)

I thought you were talking about me then.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:35, Reply)

Do you like sushi?

(Bazongaloid, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:37, Reply)

I heard Poppet once sit legs akimbo on the convayor belt at Yo!Sushi.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:40, Reply)

You said you would keep that secret!

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:41, Reply)

Keep it quiet? It was the greatest day of my life... I even MMS'd the video to my aunty.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:47, Reply)

...Fuck.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:49, Reply)

Your Auntie Fuck?
Unusual name
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:51, Reply)

no, Gonz's Aunty Fuck.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:57, Reply)

Oddly enough, that's the title of my new video too.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:58, Reply)

should I check Redtube or youporn for that?

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 2 Jun 2011, 13:00, Reply)

Youporn, it has a HTML5 video player allowing for standard complient browsers to view it's content in the way it's intended.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 13:01, Reply)

complient browsers to view it's content in the way it's intended
With their cock in their hand?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 13:13, Reply)

I don't eat seafood or red meat.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:41, Reply)

Poor Noel's Mum _and_ poor noel.
=(
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:43, Reply)

So just chicken then?`

(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:45, Reply)

sometimes.
If it's noel's chicken wing recipe then yes - they're OMG amazing.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:48, Reply)

No, I'm just confused because Noel said you were a vegetarian.
And now you say you eat chicken.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:51, Reply)

Chickens are a vegetable

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:52, Reply)

ahah no, Noel was talking about his mother.
She's a full vegetarian. :P
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:53, Reply)

Ah.
Getting confused as I hurtle towards my 30th.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:57, Reply)

Don't worry, none of us understand her accent either.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:58, Reply)

Accént?

(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 2 Jun 2011, 13:00, Reply)

and yet I can understand all of yours.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 2 Jun 2011, 13:01, Reply)

Why is she vegetarian? What happened that was so horrific in her life that lead her to live a life deprived of vital vitimum and nutrialments?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:38, Reply)

I like vitimums
Supplements for mothers everywhere
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:52, Reply)

I have very little money and I'm very outgoing
and I want to fuck your mum
( Peej, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:35, Reply)

Everybody does.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:37, Reply)

I'll need to see some tasteful nudes before making a firm decision
but I'm prepared to put a deposit on your mum right now.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:40, Reply)

on in
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:41, Reply)

All over
She'll get it on her tits and like it, the slag.

EDIT: PS. THATS THE JOWK
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:46, Reply)

Never mind your mum. What's your dad like?

( girlinthehole, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:40, Reply)

He doesn't like his mum for a start

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:41, Reply)

Zing!

( girlinthehole, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:42, Reply)

He lives not too near but not too far
Likes to fuck and looks, sounds and acts exactly like Jeff Bridges. Unfortunately he is broke.
( Peej, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:42, Reply)

I haz some monies.

( girlinthehole, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:43, Reply)

Bit of a cunt in all honesty.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:50, Reply)

LIKE FATHER LIKE SON!

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:51, Reply)

You knows it.
I actually did a full-on character assassination on him yesterday. It feels good to call your dad a cunt.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:51, Reply)

I did that to my dad before he died
He tried claiming he never hit my mum, I went apeshit and called him every insulting name I could think up. It was great.
( Peej, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:58, Reply)

+e
/dahmerlols
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:51, Reply)

That's ok.
Better the devil you know and all that.
( girlinthehole, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:52, Reply)

Ok, I'll give it a go
And just to be nice, I'll even let you have a go on mine. She's worth the dig, honest! Just don't do what the last guy did and set her up like a crazy marrionette, make her knock on my door, and attempt to hug me. That shit leaves scars, yo. *thousand yard stare*
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:54, Reply)

I feel so bad for laughing.
so very, very bad.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:58, Reply)

Does she take it up the arse?

( Peej, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 12:59, Reply)

He does

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 13:00, Reply)

Do you have a sister?

( Peej, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 13:03, Reply)

No, but I can put on a dress if you like?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 13:06, Reply)

SOLD!

( Peej, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 13:11, Reply)

What your mum needs is to experiment. Tell her I know loads of lesbians.

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 13:07, Reply)

Now that I COULD watch.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 13:07, Reply)

Maybe your mum and my mum could have an asexual relationship like the Two Fat Ladies, except my mum isn't fat anymore.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 13:15, Reply)

How much would it cost
for you to dress up as a girl and have lesbian sex with your own mother whilst I watch?
( Peej, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 13:19, Reply)

I'd do that shit for free.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 2 Jun 2011, 13:30, Reply)

Age\Size\Location?
Need to know how much I'd be getting into.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 2 Jun 2011, 14:51, Reply)