Cinema - alone
On Thursday night, I'm going to be away from home for one night only - As porn won't be available in the hotel, I think I'll go and see the film "Senna" - however, I'll be alone... Will I be marked out as a deviant or is this acceptable?
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:15, 123 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

You should go to a porn cinema.
That would solve all of your problems.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:17, Reply)

this
I don't imagine there is anything more invigorating that masturbating in a semi-public environment
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:29, Reply)

l
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:31, Reply)

Go on your own if you want
don't if you don't. The fact you have to ask if that's ok on /offtopic is a bit weird.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:18, Reply)

No need for that :P
I'm going anyway, I'm just looking for views on the matter...
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:20, Reply)

My view is BOAT

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:21, Reply)

BOAT?
You like boats?
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:22, Reply)

yeah, that's the part that
marks you out as a deviant
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:32, Reply)

I wouldn't any more than I'd go to the pub on my own.
So I'd think you were weird if I saw you. Whether this answers your question or not, I don't know.
( Kroney, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:22, Reply)

+ or care

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:22, Reply)

Quite

( Kroney, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:22, Reply)

Ahhh
Perhaps I need a blow up doll - in that case, the first response is apt..
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:22, Reply)

Ask Light In Chains, he might have one spare.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:23, Reply)

Bleugh
A **used** blow up doll..... **shudder**
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:24, Reply)

There's a picture from Download of a girl I know giving a blow up doll head.
It's frankly fucking disturbing.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:26, Reply)

Urrr
WTF is that all about?
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:42, Reply)

She's an attention seeking fool.
There's another picture of her snogging one of her female friends, and she's untagged herself from that because it's 'embarrassing', but she's fine with still being tagged in that picture?

Fucking mentalist.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:47, Reply)

I hate girls like that.
She should get a firmer grip on the base of the shaft.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:49, Reply)

I'll be sure to instruct her!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:50, Reply)

Is that your bird then?
Sorry!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:51, Reply)

Wouldn't touch her with a bargepole.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:05, Reply)

Go alone to a Disney film and use your pic-a-mix to lure a fat kid to the back where you can nonce them right up
everyone's a winner, you get your rocks off and the fat kid loses their virginity first making them a hero amongst their peers
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:22, Reply)

it's called pick and mix you oaf

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:28, Reply)

Whatever fatty, i haven't eaten it since I was a child

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:39, Reply)

and somebody took your virginity in the back of a cinema?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:48, Reply)

I spent a week in Northampton on a course
What a dismal shithole it was.

On the last night I went into town and went to the pictures to see 'Ali' with Will Smith. As it turned out, I was the only stupid bastard there, so there was no embarrassment factor at all.

Good luck.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:22, Reply)

Lolz
But that was a shit film...
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:23, Reply)

It was the highlight of my week
Which I think explains exactly how shit Northampton was.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:26, Reply)

Ouch
About as exciting as my month in Bracknell I should think...
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:32, Reply)

After the film I thought I'd find a pub for a wee pint or two before heading back to the hotel
There wasn't a single pub open. No chip shops, pizza places, kebab shops - nothing.

I've never been to a place so massively devoid of life.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:38, Reply)

Wow
Sounds **exactly** like Bracknell.

Except that I couldn't even find a cinema - instead, I ate in the hotel - a LOT as it turned out - I put in about 10lbs in a month....
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:41, Reply)

Is your blog as exciting as this thread?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:25, Reply)

No
No. Which is why it's deader than Clegg's prospects.

It also may, or may not, have got me fired from a previous job - Well, not so much fired as I left because they made me...
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:29, Reply)

NCK DEAD AND HIS CRONIES!!!
Did your blog ouline all of the porn stars and hooters chicks you were banging behind your wife's back or just the purchasing of stationary at your company was somewhat irregular?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:32, Reply)

Slander!
I didn't shag anyone porn stars or hooters chicks behind my wife's back..... It was an air hostess.
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:34, Reply)

Did you like the way she dressed?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:35, Reply)

Yes
I did. As it happens.

She was won over by the way that I, almost instantly, fell asleep the moment I sat down and woke up again on landing.
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:37, Reply)

Is it porn?
Probably.
I saw Black Swan in the cinema alone, it was nice.
This weekend I think I will go to the celtic festival alone, mostly because I don't have anyone to go with me.
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:27, Reply)

Don't worry K, I'm sure you'll never walk alone once you're there.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:28, Reply)

Loser.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:28, Reply)

well at least I don't fuck dogs

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:30, Reply)

You've got me there K!
At least this coming weekend you'll be able to get drunk on Tennants Super and have a fight with a Rangers supporter.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:32, Reply)

I'm not so sure, bud.
It doesn't say_anything_about them serving alcohol.
In fact, the website says basically fuck all other than what sort of performances they'll have.
It says they'll have over 40 vendors, but what sort of fucking vendors? It doesn't fucking say.
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:34, Reply)

Phone them up and ask them outright.
Tell 'em that if you can't get fucked up on ale, you ain't coming and that the festival will be shit without you.

If they give you any grief or suggest that maybe the festival might be better without you, then hang up. Hang up - but go to it anyway.

That'll teach 'em.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:36, Reply)

YEAH. FUCKERS.

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:38, Reply)

In fact, fuck 'em K.
Do something better instead this weekend. And if you see anyone who might be on their way to the festival, punch them in the face.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:42, Reply)

Um
A whole festival - that's got to be on the wrong side...
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:30, Reply)

how so?

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:32, Reply)

No idea
Dunno - just getting in the swing of B3ta arguing I guess



****slinks back to the undergrowth****
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:34, Reply)

I'm just saying, right, loads of people go to renaissance fairs, right?
so, how could a whole festival devoted to the traditions and culture of the Celts be a bit wrong?
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:37, Reply)

Because they cut off the heads of their enemies
and ate their brains? You're basically celebrating barbarian zombies.
( Kroney, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:39, Reply)

I've never seen a tribal tattoo like that before. You must be wrong.

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:40, Reply)

Also, nobody really knows what their traditions were, just what the Romans chose to write down
which mainly focussed on how unpleasant and brain-eaty they were. What you're celebrating is some Victorian's fantasy of how they behaved.

Plus a bunch of pseudo-Irish new age hippie crystals and other such bullshit, I shouldn't wonder.
( Kroney, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:41, Reply)

Yeah, but you probably just sit in your mums basement for fun so what do you know about getting out there and doing stuff
just to fucking do something other than sitting in your mums basement?
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:44, Reply)

Yeah, I probably do.

( Kroney, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:45, Reply)

Insert backtracking here
As above - I know nothing about this festival, I know nothing about the traditions and I have no view or opinion, really, on the matter.

Food festivals, however, I'll go to, alone and eat everything in sight.
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:39, Reply)

It's supposed to be a load of craft vendors probably, along with bands, fiddle and harp players
there's supposed to be dancers doing jigs and whatnot and something like a reenactment of games.
I don't know.
It's just something different and I want to go.
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:42, Reply)

Ahh
If that's what you like - enjoy.

I'd be concerned if there was barbarian zombies though - or disappointed - not sure which...
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:44, Reply)

I expect celtic reenactment consists of getting drunk, and having fights with english people.
after losing, they sing songs about how they hate the english.

It should be fun.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:50, Reply)

YOU'VE ALL RUINED IT FOR ME.
I'll just sit at my house and do nothing instead. Thanks.
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:51, Reply)

No no no
Go. Take an axe. Knock yourself out...
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:53, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=MTRrZcEsjFU
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:53, Reply)

this is like all the celtic songs
sound like, except the ones which are about young lassie*'s trying to shag some young soldier, or the miserable ones about some lassie whose young soldier has died

*not that lassie, Jeff
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:58, Reply)

:(

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:00, Reply)

No, go. Pretend to be English*

*achieved by being as smug as Vipros and as haughty as Monty.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:54, Reply)

what would be the point in that

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:56, Reply)

You could totally oppress them.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:58, Reply)

That's the ticket.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:59, Reply)

and build them some castles
and sort them out with a fake heritage

this argument frequently winds up the Welsh
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:00, Reply)

celtic = scottish, welsh, Irish
= hate the english
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:59, Reply)

it's common to hate your superiors

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:01, Reply)

You could also use the potato famine for big lolz at their expense.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:02, Reply)

They have a version of the Highland Games in Nova Scotia
Saddest thing I've ever seen. All the ridiculousness of the Games participated in by people three or four generations removed.
( Kroney, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:55, Reply)

reckon its a bit like larping?

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:58, Reply)

larping isn't like that
but we do have a Great Edrejan Fayre which has lots of games, I think it originally was meant to the like the highland games, it isn't any more though
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:10, Reply)

It must be shit being from a country with no heritage of its own.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:59, Reply)

Canada in general is a really nice country.
It's just the Nova Scotians that have this weird Scottish fetish. The Newfoundlanders still sound Irish, but they don't have anything like that. They just drink and fight.
( Kroney, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:02, Reply)

Americans and the like love to claim that they are Irish, or Italian or whatever
despite being totally removed from it.

Stupid fucks. If I were to go by their rules I'd be a German.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:00, Reply)

Yeah, it's bizarre.
In this country, I'd get laughed for claiming to be Scottish when I wasn't born there. If I did it in Scotland, I'd have the shit kicked out of me for it.
( Kroney, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:04, Reply)

I remain baffled with the whole 'Irish American' thing.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:05, Reply)

you'd all get thumped if you talked like that around here
I get your point. In american and that's it.
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:08, Reply)

I'd call them all fucking benders and then run away before the hit me.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:10, Reply)

oh wah

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:05, Reply)

What is Black Swan actually about?
The adverts give no hint or clue to what the storyline is supposed to be. I hate trailers like that. Why would I go to see a film about which all they'll reveal is that it's got ballerinas in it.

Ballet is not at all an interesting subject for a 31 year old man.

I might, however, be willing to overlook the ballet for a good psychological thriller. Their marketing strategy baffles me.
( Kroney, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:30, Reply)

Easy
There's this swan. It's black.

Tastes like Golden Eagle.....
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:31, Reply)

it is a psychological thriller...
about a girl that gets the main part in swan lake for a top ballet company and the stress turns her mad
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:33, Reply)

Oh right.
Yeah, sounds dull.
( Kroney, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:33, Reply)

You would think so, because you're shit and dull.

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:35, Reply)

And in tears.
Thanks Kristine, thanks a lot. I have always had self-esteem problems and now you gone and said that. I hope you're happy. Are you? WELL ARE YOU?

Totally flouncing, right here.
( Kroney, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:36, Reply)

That's even worse than Swipes flounce.
And she flounced but continued to reply to her own flouncing thread.
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:39, Reply)

Um
I must profess that I wanted to see that at the cinema - but never did...
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:36, Reply)

it's pretty good

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:43, Reply)

I hear that Senna is very good.
probably perfectly fine to watch that on your own.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:28, Reply)

Me too
I hear that too - and as my OH has less than zero interest in motor racing, I think a film about it rates right up there with sticking your head in a blender.
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:31, Reply)

I suspect that this will be the case for a lot of blokes
so I wouldn't be surprised if the cinema was full of people having the same dilemma as you.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:37, Reply)

That settles it
I'm definitely going. Without a disguise.
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:43, Reply)

isn't senna the stuff they give you for the shits..or lack of shits or something?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:31, Reply)

No, that's what he slept in when he was a baby.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:34, Reply)

no, that's a type of pea you eat with the pod on

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:37, Reply)

I saw the latest X-Man film by myself for the first time, and thoroughly enjoyed it.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:43, Reply)

Is it?
Any good?
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:45, Reply)

I loved it, but they didnt' have any fizzy slush puppy which slightly made the movie not as good as what it could be.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:45, Reply)

Popcorn.
You need a giant tub of popcorn which you don't eat - that's what makes a film...
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:47, Reply)

I bought a medium sprite which was soooo big, like, at least 3ltrs, and a toffee popcorn.
I would have prefered a fizzy slushpuppy. mixed flavour.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:52, Reply)

I quite enjoyed it

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:46, Reply)

I might pre book the film - in case I tempted to see this instead...

(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:47, Reply)

I've heard extremely positive things about Senna though, so don't necessarily write that off.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:48, Reply)

No no
I **want** to see Senna - I'm just usually drawn to sci-fi type films - I'm really looking forward to the Transformers film - another one I'll be seeing alone...
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:49, Reply)

As am I, can't wait for it
Although I'm seeing it with the same people I've seen the last 2 films with.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:50, Reply)

Unlike that car he was in when he died
That was a write off.

*Concerned I may have just posted a spoiler*
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:49, Reply)

:O
He. Died.??

No. You bastard. Next you'll be telling me that the Titanic sunk...
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:50, Reply)

ITS KEVIN SPACEY!

( Peej, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:53, Reply)

WITHASPOON!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:54, Reply)

NO!
With a Knife!
( Peej, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:55, Reply)

No, with a knife!!!/11!
Edit: Damn you slow fingers.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:56, Reply)

Bastards

( Kroney, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 16:56, Reply)

'Film' is shit and for cunts.
Hope this helps

x
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:30, Reply)

It was even more shit with the Northern Irish kids from 'Why Don't You?' called it a 'fill-um'

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:31, Reply)

Alright Little Plum?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:36, Reply)

What fucking cunts, eh readers?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:49, Reply)

The Beano needed more of this sort of thing

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:51, Reply)

I have had a steaming turd of a day.
The healing power of booze is my only hope.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:50, Reply)

I agree heartily with this
I am lacking in booze though
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 17:50, Reply)