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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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You know it's bad when 11am rolls around and you've failed to do any work at all
My old car died last weekend and I was very sad to see her go to the big scrap heap in the sky. But what inanimate objects are you stupidly attached to?

ALT: Best woodland creature? I'll throw my lot in with the stoat.
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:05, 134 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
Why not throw your lot in with the stoat, instead.

(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:06, Reply)
bollocks...
You see reading these sorts of things back i am more than aware that it is incorrect, but when writing my brain just doesn't work very well
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:08, Reply)
He's not thought this throw, Jeff.

(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:08, Reply)
*golf clap*

(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:09, Reply)
kipper tie?

(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:33, Reply)
The nozzle of a 'Henry' hoover.
Alt: Catweazle.
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:08, Reply)
*googles catweazel*
O_O
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:08, Reply)
I loved that show - and the books - as a lad.

(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:10, Reply)
I cried like a tiny child
when I sold my first car. And I'd rather sell a kidney than sell one of my musical instruments. Oh and I'd never get rid of my books. But apart from that...

Dormouse.
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:09, Reply)
What was so special about your first car berk?

(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:09, Reply)
My first car was my mum's old car.
It still has a winnie the pooh stuck in the air con unit. from when I put it there.
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:17, Reply)
STRIKETHROUGH winnie the END STRIKETHROUGH

(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:21, Reply)
It was a 1986 Mini
called Maisie, and she was awesome.
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:28, Reply)
Bless.

(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:30, Reply)
The back seat, BO YAH, totally went there.

(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 12:28, Reply)
My topless nun brooch.
Alt: Badger.
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:10, Reply)
Guitar
and keyring which has the tag on from my first dog

Alt: Squirrel
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:13, Reply)
If you lose your keys, will you have to get them back from the vets

(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:13, Reply)
Good plan
I also have a glow in the dark keyring on it which makes finding your keys as easy as turning off the lights
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:15, Reply)
Oh dear
my lot in with it up
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:13, Reply)
My photo albums and my scrapbook and my little boxes full of Important Things which have Meanings and Memories attached to them.
Alt: Deer. Although I've never seen one. :(
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:14, Reply)
Come to Richmond, they're fucking everywhere
dirty deers
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:16, Reply)
really? Richmond here isn't a nice place to be...

(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:40, Reply)
Richmond here in Lndon, is a very affulent area and has a Royal Park full of deer

(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:54, Reply)
O.O
But I wanna see a WILD deer.
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 12:11, Reply)
chickenlady has deer near her

(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 12:16, Reply)
My second car
A rusting, 1990 mk2 Golf with fading red paintwork. So many things were wrong with it that I was forced to learn maintenance and some light mechanics. I kept it going and slowly improved it over the two years or so I owned it. Every little thing I did made it feel, or look, or drive better and I learnt all its foibles and handling characteristics.

I eventually broke it in such a manner that I just wasn't going to be able to fix it cheaply or easily. I was forced to scrap it. I regret it to this day and every other car I've owned have utterly failed to fill its boots.

After I kill my current car, I will get another one.
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:20, Reply)
My guitars and my records
Alt: Muntjac, for no reason other than I like the word.
I haven't done any work today either. I have divided my time between here, facebook, the Boomkat newsletter and drinking tea. I'm not proud of this.
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:20, Reply)
B3ta...............destroying productivity across the UK since since 1990 (or whenever it started up)

(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:22, Reply)
To be fair to b3ta
I'm pretty unproductive anyway - if it wasn't here I would be elsewhere not working.
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:31, Reply)
Is a Muntjac when you're out with 'the lads' and your mate's getting somewhere with a really ugly bird,
but you step in and cop off with her yourself?
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:24, Reply)
convaluted but funny

(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:25, Reply)
Yes.
Yes it is.
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:27, Reply)
Xbox 360
Obviously. Also the Sennheiser headphones Ms Foxtrot got me for my 24th, even though they're knackered now. And the watch I bought myself post-TWL
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:20, Reply)
What watch?
I want a proper expensive "lifetime watch", i quite fancy a Tag heur Aqua racer
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:22, Reply)
Police something or other
It's black and shiny and I loves it. Dunno if it's expensive enough for your tastes but even with two and a half grand burning a hole in my skyrocket I couldn't bring myself to spend more than a couple of hundred quid.

Edit: this one - s7ondemand4.scene7.com/is/image/Signet/8191328?$detail$
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:24, Reply)
Woah DF you're such an old cockernee.

(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:25, Reply)
Or maybe I've seen Lock, Stock... too recently
Also, less of the old, sunshine
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:26, Reply)
I'm not swipey!
but I would like a nice watch...not sure I'll ever be able to afford one, or more importantly justify the expense. having siad that i have 5 euromillions tickets for tonight!
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:26, Reply)
Call the Beeb up mate
They're giving the stuff away
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:27, Reply)
That's quite nice

(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:27, Reply)
Simple but shiny
Much like myself
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:32, Reply)
Matt foundation will help.

(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 13:24, Reply)
Why would someone put dollar signs in a url? what the hell is wrong with them?

(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 12:33, Reply)
Lot's of stuff, I get stupidly fond of inanimate objects
Highlights include:

a Guitar that I can bearly play that is, by any rational assessment one of the shitest guitars ever hand made by a spakhanded mong onm a bad day, but it 'fits' me so I can't get rid of it.

I think I am now up to either 8 or 9 bicycles, I ride 3 and am "going to sell" the rest but I can't bear to part with them.


More rationally, My leather jacket, it's old, cheap, battered and smelly, but I loves it, it's likea little leather cocoon.

Alt: Snails rock.
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:31, Reply)
Your leather jacket is Monty AICMetc

(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:34, Reply)
My leather should be worn by monty
I was actually quite disappointed by the lightweight, gay effort he was wearing to the bash. He was awesome in all other ways of course.
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:35, Reply)
Was it blouson in cut?

(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:36, Reply)
I don't know what that means
as I'm neither female nor bent. It looked at first sight like the typical bronx/perfecto biker jacket you'd expect, but up close it appeared to be made of lighter stuff (may not have been leather even) and a bit differently cut. I seem to remember it had one of those elasticated waist bands at the back, rather than a proper manly belt.
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:39, Reply)
What an utter bender
I bet he sucks off bikers for change outside Aces Cafe on the North circular
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:41, Reply)
Hmmmm, this is a distinct possibility
although more likely for MDs than change...

In fairness I must say it was a hot night and I was wearing a fetching little denim number myself rather than the full biker, so maybe he, like me, has more than one jacket.
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:43, Reply)
TWO JACKETS
You decadent capitalist pig
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:44, Reply)
Yes, indeed
My own extensive range of upper body coverings are of course all for purely utilitarian purposes........
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:45, Reply)
I'm confused here
"a fetching little denim number"

and yet earlier you claimed to be neither a woman nor bent.
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:47, Reply)
and this is what caused you to prick your ears up?
please note my epic restraint and all the gay jokes I am not making.

it was a black denim jacket, in the classic jean jacket style, adorned with but 2 simple badges, as I was being minimalist.
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:51, Reply)
badges freak me out

(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:52, Reply)
Better avoid me then
I like badges and usually have one or 2 at least.
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:52, Reply)
Are you Rik Mayall?

(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:53, Reply)
There are similarities
Although I have more Awesome Facial HairTM
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:55, Reply)
What is on your badges?
"I am 18 today"?
Che Guvera?
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:57, Reply)
Today (and indeed at the bash)
a small, tasteful, anarchy symbol and a MTFU badge.
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:59, Reply)
God you really are from the 80's

(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:59, Reply)
well, I'm from the mid 70s
and but I lived through the 80's, although I didn't like them at all.
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 12:00, Reply)
Oh man, I just made a chugger cry =(
She asked me where I was from, so I said Southgate, and she goes "I was there yesterday, did you know there is the priory there?" so I said "Yeah'......" she asked me about celebraties and stuff so I said "shouldn't really speak about that, it's a hospital and they're there for help" and she goes "It's OK, I went to counciling, I'm on....." and then she listed a load of drugs and problems, so I'm like "Oookay, I got to get back to work now", but I could see she was quite upset so I let her give her schpill about the friends of the earth, I agreed that what they were doing were alright.

So she then asks if I can donate, so I say "I'll donate, but not give you my card details", and when I explained to her that the details she's asking is all that is needed to extract money (or otherwise, why get those details?), and if that paper got into the wrong hands, it could be very dangerous..... she started wobbly-lipping some more when I went "Well, do you remember when Clarkson published those details and they took the money out of his account... you're wrong on this one, I'm afraid"...."But they wouldn't let me take these details if it wasn't safe"... then there were a few tears so I went..."Sorry, but I'm still not giving my card details to a stranger on the street, really got to get back to work now"

I hope I haven't ruined her day =(
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:33, Reply)
Chuggers are worse that Hitler

(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:36, Reply)
and Gonz is now worse than a Chugger

(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:40, Reply)
Oh Gonz, you're doing it wrong.
You're supposed to make chuggers cry by kicking them in the cunt.
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:40, Reply)
Absolutely
the chummier they are the harder the cunt kick
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:43, Reply)
The thing about this whole FOE is th...... oh my goodness, Friends Of the Earth spells out "FOE", as in, like someone's enemy.
I agree with her thing about battery farming, they want to stop it, but that's purely because it tastes nicer and is better for you if they haven't been battery farm'd... animals are a crop, as far as I'm concerned, and if you don't treat a crop right, you won't get a good yeald. But then again, I can afford to eat more or less what I like, if I relied on cheap battery farm'd food as a food source, then that would really fuck me over.

And I agree that Child Slavory is wrong, but child labour isn't. The children stitching away Nike shoes are treated horrificly, but at the end of the day, their families can eat. I want to see the practice outlawed internationally, but purely because I want a fair system for the children, I want them to be feed and clothed and educated, and if stitching shoes gets them that, then all the more power to them. The people who are 'wrong' in this case are the parents who 'sale' the kids, and the people who own the factories who don't pass on huge profits, and to a lesser extent, the nike execs who allow the factories to do what they do........ but if I was in a piss-pot country at the bottom of the chain with no hope for anyone to get out of it, and if I could give my kid up in exchange for them being taught english, skills, food, shelter, education...etc, then I'd do that in a second, at least then the kid is in with a chance.
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:50, Reply)
Also, I think charity starts at home, and I don't just mean the UK, I mean my friends and family come first.
I'd rather give a mate £50 and forget about it, than give a charity going to africa £25.
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:54, Reply)
RACISM on OT
this is worse than the NoTW scandle
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:56, Reply)
It starts at home - and then finishes at home almost immediately afterwards, in my case.

(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 12:03, Reply)
Don't forget Wonga.com

(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 12:04, Reply)
I too, prefer outdoor-reared and organically-fed batteries.

(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 12:17, Reply)
I am left alone in Uxbridge now.
I started noticing that the chuggers were mostly the same people, just wearing different jackets. I think the charities must employ a separate company who then employ the chuggers.

When approached by, say, a chugger in an Amnity International jacket I'll say "Oh no, sorry, I'm in favour of war crimes", or Barnardos "Sorry, I'd like to see more child abuse, not less" and so on.

After a while, they just stopped approaching me.
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:58, Reply)

they everyone
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:59, Reply)
Fucking hell, if only.

(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 12:01, Reply)
My all time favourite LOLarious prank
is to approach those animal testing protester cunts with the trestle tables of leaflets and shocking pictures etc and ask how much the smoking monkey poster is.

They do not find this funny.
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 12:01, Reply)
hahahaha

(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 12:01, Reply)
Some people just have no sense of humour, Monty

(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 12:02, Reply)
Hahahaha! I love you!

(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 12:03, Reply)
Gayest post of the day
Right here ^.
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 12:04, Reply)
It's only gay if you push back.

(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 12:05, Reply)
Wrong!
It's only gay if your bollocks clash together.
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 13:30, Reply)
By failing to point at Phil's post like ^ so
it looks like you are claiming this accolade for yourself.
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 12:06, Reply)
You people and your conventions.

(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 12:08, Reply)
Brilliantly, it now looks like you're pointing at your own post.
EDIT I have clicked on it, and urge all of you - including you sweaty-handed lurkers - to do likewise, so that this sits on Popular for weeks.
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 12:11, Reply)
For the love of...
Better now?
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 12:12, Reply)
Much worse.

(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 12:12, Reply)
FINE
fuck.
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 12:13, Reply)
hahahaha
It's subliminal, he can't help nudging his way out of the closet and into Darth's cavanous anus
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 12:13, Reply)
I remember an anti fox hunting trestle table being set up in covent garden a few years back
and a bald fat wanker rather angrily shouting "Kill the Fox! Kill the Fox!" Over and over again. He seemed more passionate about killing foxes that the protesters did about saving them.
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 12:05, Reply)
hahaha

(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 12:06, Reply)
Unrelated to main topic
but I only ever ate free range chicken but after a visit to a petting zoo where about 50 of the fuckers attacked my daughter and bit her fingers I have decided that chickens are nothing more than an evil head on top of delicious food with feet attached and can fuck right off and if they have to be tortured for me to get a cheap meal then so be it. I prefer rats to chickens, they are vile wicked animals.
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 12:26, Reply)
Cigarettes and most of my trainers, very surprising I know.
I was quite attached to the girl I was seeing a few months back, and looking back she could very much be described as an inanimate object/useless cunt.
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:43, Reply)
use a lower dose next time

(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:43, Reply)
There is nothing I own that I would save if the house caught fire
Its all just stuff, even my guitars.
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:52, Reply)
What about your oven glove?

(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 11:52, Reply)
It's not mine
That's the fucking problem
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 12:01, Reply)
I thought the problem was that you wank into it?

(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 12:03, Reply)
Really?
I get enough shit for using it to remove hot things from the oven. She'd probably kill me if I wanked in it. Plus my special sock would get jealous.
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 12:06, Reply)
That's not a nice thing to call your wife.

(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 12:17, Reply)
Hey at least I said special

(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 12:22, Reply)
I'm still in my nightie. This is a good day.

(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 12:25, Reply)
Or 'dressed for Asda' as it's known round my way.

(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 12:26, Reply)
It's pyjamas, Ugg boots and hair-rollers here.

(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 12:39, Reply)
PST PIX PLS!

(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 12:27, Reply)


(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 12:42, Reply)
I wish I was also a Kept Women.

(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 12:32, Reply)
I've got a day off work you git!

(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 12:43, Reply)
Riley looks at you with green eyes !

(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 12:51, Reply)
I love days like that.
More so when there is someone trying to get me out of my nightie at lunchtime.
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 12:36, Reply)
Just letting brunch settle ;)

(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 12:43, Reply)
My drums, I have been accused of fondling them on occasion by an ex
I argued it was more of a caress. I just love drums.
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 12:35, Reply)
Go to the doctors, you're sick man.
It sounds like you've got slight percussion.
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 12:36, Reply)
Ba-dum tish

(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 12:38, Reply)
You ability to recall shit jokes astounds me. You need a medal.
What are you doing this weekend jeff?
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 12:38, Reply)
I'm boozing Bob.
Yourself?
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 12:39, Reply)
House move shopping, need some sort of miniature/small
Steamer trunk and a rug
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 12:43, Reply)
Steamer trunk?
Ask Kroney.
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 12:49, Reply)
Haha!

(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 12:38, Reply)
Am I really the first with Your Mum?

(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 12:43, Reply)
It seems you are.
How is life on the costa del crime?
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 12:43, Reply)
Hello
it's quite drunken. I had bloody mary for breakfast.
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 12:45, Reply)
Bottoms up!!

(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 12:47, Reply)
PHWOOOAR

(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 12:53, Reply)
brb, gotta go to a bar

(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 12:56, Reply)
No
I think my dad got there first
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 12:44, Reply)
That's what YOU think

(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 12:44, Reply)
Dad?

(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 12:44, Reply)
YOU WISH

(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 12:45, Reply)
I keep meaning to ask
Is the name a Bob Dylan reference? Also were you someone else before or just lurking?
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 12:46, Reply)
It is.
The song had been playing in my car on the morning I signed up and was stuck in my head all day (in fact, I think I am always subconsciously humming it whenever I am on here now).
I'm not someone else, just a longtime lurker.
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 12:51, Reply)
It's a good album
bits of it often get stuck in my head, although More often Idiot Wind, probably wouldn't have been such a good username. I also lurked a while, a good way to get to know the lie of the land.
(, Fri 8 Jul 2011, 12:53, Reply)

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