What's wrong with me?
I've eaten four Crunchie bars and a Jamaican pattie instead of a real lunch.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 26 Jul 2011, 15:53, 5 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

and me
i have just hooned off birthday cakes all day, nothing sensible or savoury. and i'm out for dinner :(
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 26 Jul 2011, 15:54, Reply)

Now I want a Crunchie.
Curse you, Monty.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 26 Jul 2011, 15:57, Reply)

I never want one ever again.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 26 Jul 2011, 15:59, Reply)

I'm wearing nothing but a Crunchie.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 26 Jul 2011, 16:01, Reply)

Now I have in my mind that revolting picture of Iggy Pop with a dollar bill stuck to his penis.
Thanks Doc. Thanks a lot.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 26 Jul 2011, 16:03, Reply)

I'm here to help.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 26 Jul 2011, 16:08, Reply)

hey!
oh wait, I changed my name

man, it was nice to feel wanted for a moment, there
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 26 Jul 2011, 16:33, Reply)

Mmmmmm.
Jamaican pattie.

Cold?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 26 Jul 2011, 15:59, Reply)

Hell no. MICRO-POWER!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 26 Jul 2011, 16:01, Reply)

Good.
They are a bit manky cold. Fatty.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 26 Jul 2011, 16:02, Reply)

The cooking instructions make me LOL.
Microwave from chilled: 1m30
From frozen: 1m40

That cannot be right, surely?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 26 Jul 2011, 16:02, Reply)

Haha.
The extra 10 seconds makes all the difference.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 26 Jul 2011, 16:03, Reply)

Sounds OK.
A chiller will be roughly 20°C warmer than a freezer. You'll be wanting to heat it up and hold it above a certain temperature for a short time. Say above 70 for 30 seconds. So you need about a minute to heat it up from chilled and a minute plus about 20% to heat it up from frozen.

They've probably done their sums.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 26 Jul 2011, 16:07, Reply)

^ this is my official entry for the Dullest Post of the Week Award ^

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 26 Jul 2011, 16:09, Reply)

Assuming this is right, is it mere paranoia that leads most supermarket 'ready meals'
to have 'from frozen' cooking times set at almost double the chilled ones, then?


EDIT this is my contender
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 26 Jul 2011, 16:11, Reply)

I can't say I've dedicated much time to studying microwave guideline times.
But twice the time doesn't make much sense unless supermarket deep freezers are a lot colder than domestic ones.

(we've got this dullness contest nailed here ... everybody else is playing for bronze)
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 26 Jul 2011, 16:15, Reply)

WE'RE BOTH WINNERS HERE.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 26 Jul 2011, 16:29, Reply)

Was it one of those you get in the international food shop with the abnormally yellow pastry?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 26 Jul 2011, 16:05, Reply)

Yes.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 26 Jul 2011, 16:06, Reply)

I love 'em.
I find the spiciest one is the veg one.
Sometimes when hungover I would put lots of brown sauce on a hot veg pattie and wash it down with Red Bull. Fucking yum.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 26 Jul 2011, 16:09, Reply)

I have never had the veg one.
I do love the beef, lamb and chicken ones though. Caribbean food is fucking great. I want to get into African food too - some of the African stews they sell at the farmer's market by my house smell gorgeous, as I walk by on my way to get black pudding scotch eggs.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 26 Jul 2011, 16:15, Reply)

Are those yellow patties really Caribbean food?
What's that paste stuff inside them?
I do like the stews and curries you can get round here when there's a festival of some sort or other.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 26 Jul 2011, 16:17, Reply)

Yeah they're Jamaican. I first had them at Carnival in the 80s SO THEY MUST BE.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 26 Jul 2011, 16:17, Reply)

No, they went of their own accord
or summat
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 26 Jul 2011, 16:21, Reply)

I might have to get one on the way home now...

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 26 Jul 2011, 16:21, Reply)

There are a couple of African restaurants in Peckham that are worth a visit.
Have you been to the Sth African BBQ place on Brick Lane?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 26 Jul 2011, 16:18, Reply)

Nope - I had no idea there was one.
CALL MYSELF A TRUE COCKNEY?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 26 Jul 2011, 16:19, Reply)

Fucking plastic cockney.
Go back to Hampshire.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 26 Jul 2011, 16:20, Reply)

*cries*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 26 Jul 2011, 16:22, Reply)

http://www.south-african-bbq.com/
i reckon you'd like this.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 26 Jul 2011, 16:22, Reply)

I agree.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 26 Jul 2011, 16:24, Reply)

Roasted corn with lemon curry butter is awesome.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 26 Jul 2011, 16:26, Reply)

The South African restaurant I went to in Portugal was fantastic
The kebab I had was mental. They do know how to grill meat.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 26 Jul 2011, 16:27, Reply)

I'm sorry but the words'worth a visit' and 'Peckham' have no business being in the same sentence.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 26 Jul 2011, 16:19, Reply)

Sadly, I often do
As it's just down the road and has more atmosphere than New Cross
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 26 Jul 2011, 16:26, Reply)

You're just up the road from me.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 26 Jul 2011, 16:31, Reply)

Ahh, you were the guy in Lewisham
I was trying to remember you the other might, Barry said he was in Blackheath I think it was, I was suggesting a mini-bash as we're all neighbours. I don't think he was too keen. Not sure I am either, given the kind of people who live in Lewisham, I have to look down on someone....
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 26 Jul 2011, 16:36, Reply)

Looking down from lofty New Cross. Haha.
I'm up for a pint. I wouldn't pick the 'Sham either.

Blackheath is good.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 26 Jul 2011, 16:39, Reply)

There are not many places (well not in London) I can look down on.
Blackheath I don't really know, but it seems nice. I am up for a pint in theory, in reality my next free evening is *thinks hard* probably about a fortnight away so better to revisit the idea nearer the time.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 26 Jul 2011, 16:42, Reply)

Sounds good.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 26 Jul 2011, 16:45, Reply)

There's not enough room to swing a Damilola down there these days.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 26 Jul 2011, 16:40, Reply)

Should have
worn his stab vest. Like the rest of us.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 26 Jul 2011, 16:47, Reply)

I bought a Prawn/Crabstick, Bacon and Avacardo sandwich and it is unedibley horrible and OH WOE IS ME, WHY DOES LIFE ALWAYS KICK ME IN THE BOLLOCKS WHEN I'M ON THE FLOOR ?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
I _could_ have gone to Marks and gotten a simple ham and mustard, and enjoyed it, been well happy with it, but nooooo, smarty pants here had to go to the posh place like a fucking cunt who deserves not to have a decent lunch. And now I'm hungry.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 26 Jul 2011, 16:17, Reply)

The bread is rock-hard too even though it's been in a bag since I bought it.
Fucking rank piece of shit.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 26 Jul 2011, 16:17, Reply)

And now it's too late to get lunch because I'm cooking AMAZING FOOD tonight for dinner that I'm really looking forward too.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 26 Jul 2011, 16:18, Reply)

You're right, Fuck This Shit, I'm going tescos.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 26 Jul 2011, 16:18, Reply)

You can slag off artificial preservatives all you like but they do, err, preserve food....

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 26 Jul 2011, 16:18, Reply)

atrificial preservatives
the only thing keeping you alive?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 26 Jul 2011, 16:24, Reply)

Him and Lemmy.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 26 Jul 2011, 16:27, Reply)

We are kindred spirits, Lemmy and me.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 26 Jul 2011, 16:28, Reply)

Both sons of clergymen, both fans of stimulants and old rockabilly music.
ETC
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 26 Jul 2011, 16:28, Reply)

And you look similar.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 26 Jul 2011, 16:30, Reply)

Did you see the recent film about him?
It was called something original like "Lemmy", is was ace.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 26 Jul 2011, 16:29, Reply)

I saw it at the cinema in Brixton. I am 'into film' you see.
I took a bottle of Jack Daniel's in with me.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 26 Jul 2011, 16:31, Reply)

I saw it at the BFI London Film Festival last year
I had to queue up for standby tickets as it sold out in seconds and they only played it in this tiny screen with maybe 30 seats the cunts. /'into film' one-up-manship


I'm surprised you've not met him, you seem to have met all sorts of interesting people.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 26 Jul 2011, 16:34, Reply)

I've been fortunate in that respect - but never had the pleasure of Lemmy's company.
Yet.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 26 Jul 2011, 16:42, Reply)

The world may implode if you to are in the same place at the same time.
Have you ever considered the possibility that he might be your father?

To anyone else that might be an insult....
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 26 Jul 2011, 16:45, Reply)

Name any random person who's seen a guitar in the 70s or 80s, even if they've only seen a picture of a guitar, and Monty would not only have known them, but would consider them a cunt based on personal experiance too.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 26 Jul 2011, 16:46, Reply)

OK then, I'll name one
Ian Fraser Kilmister, nice guy, used to roadie for Hendrix.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 26 Jul 2011, 16:47, Reply)

Ohh, Fraser, Monty knows him well, used to have a fun nickname for him called "The Frasernator", which is like The Terminator only with his name in there...
... he owes Fraser a signed poster from Hendrix because he lost a who-can-throw-a-beer-can-the-furthest bet and monty betted his house. Cunt never paid up though.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 26 Jul 2011, 16:51, Reply)

aahahah
this sounds plausible
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 26 Jul 2011, 16:52, Reply)

I like your version of history Gonz
Tell me about the band he formed, I think I'd like that.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 26 Jul 2011, 16:54, Reply)

EVERY BAND IN THE WORLD.... THAT YOU HAVE NEVER HEARD OFF, except Semisonic and Eagle Eye Cherry.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 26 Jul 2011, 17:06, Reply)

Hahaha, oh man, genuine desire to get wasted 24/7, tee heee hoho, shit life, gutted.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 26 Jul 2011, 16:45, Reply)

I thought a man
with your culinary skills would make his own sarnies.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 26 Jul 2011, 16:19, Reply)