Now they've seized monty's weekends supply of Columbian Marching Powder
What should he do to to dull the horrible pain of cold turkey?

Alt. I once ate whole nutmeg to get high, not recommended. Whats the stupidest thing you've smoked, snorted or swallowed in an attempt to get wasted?
( Peej, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:11, 110 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I got pretty high on nutmeg once,
I made space paste it was alright, lasted far too long though.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:14, Reply)

That was definitely a massive downside
that and the fact it was a horribly unpleasant high.
( Peej, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:16, Reply)

I've smoked sage
but in my defence, I was already totally wasted and someone offered me a pipe.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:14, Reply)

I know someone whose party trick is to smoke a bong full of cheese...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:17, Reply)

I sat and watched a friend smoke some kind of dried green herb
I knew full well it wasn't weed. He pretended to be high anyway.
( Peej, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:17, Reply)

Everyone knows someone whose done this i think
A chap at school smoked some herbal tea with similar effects
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:19, Reply)

A chap I know made his nextdoor neighbour smoke the scapings off a 'cannabis' joss stick.
The boy then claimed he could see 'a green chicken over by the door'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:38, Reply)

I think sniffing amyl nitrate directly out of the bottle is probably the worst.
You can feel your brain cells dying in drives within seconds. Utterly horrible.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:16, Reply)

When I'm sober, it just gives me a headache.
If I've had a few drinks, I just start laughing.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:18, Reply)

It's so, so bad for you.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:19, Reply)

So are most things I do, sadly!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:21, Reply)

*awaits munchy box image*

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:26, Reply)

Haha, tut tut!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:32, Reply)

Lucky they banned Amyl and people started using Isopropyl Nitrate
which is EVEN WORSE. People still use it even though it burns your nose, damages your eyes, etc. Mental.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:35, Reply)

I do not understand the attraction. Hideous stuff.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:36, Reply)

The attraction is the effect!
There's no denying it doesn't loosen you up... Not speaking for experience. Honest.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:57, Reply)

Sure, sure....

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:57, Reply)

My ex went to Strodes College in Egham in the early 00's
They all were sniffing that shit in the common room all day. Horrible stuff.
( Peej, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:19, Reply)

I crawl up into a ball and want to kill myself when I do it.
Then when it wears off I want another go.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:19, Reply)

Droves?
Point made.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:20, Reply)

Hahah droves it is. I cannot type, it seems.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:28, Reply)

I used to buy amyl nitrate regularly, and never had a problem.
I used it in diesel fuel for model aircraft, or that was what I told the chemist. He had no idea I was a raving whoopsie and was using it up my bum.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:21, Reply)

My brother threw up down my leg after sniffing amyl
I had too, I was laughing too hard to beat the fucker.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:36, Reply)

Have cold chicken instead, far nicer.
Alt: Shots of Vodka before an exam, ugh.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:17, Reply)

Alt. Vodka
Ouch.

I also did acid at Reading festival (unfamiliar territory) to try and cheer myself up because my best mate and ex-girlfriend had chosen that weekend to start shagging in the next tent to mine. My first class A. That was pretty fucking dumb.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:17, Reply)

I'm a big fan of acid.
But then I've never had a bad experience on it.
( Peej, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:20, Reply)

To be fair, taking acid is, in itself, not necessarily stupid
But the circumstances under which I took my first really were. Never did it again.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:21, Reply)

I took my first tabs in Reading
Though I was at a mates house and not at the festival. There's some photos of me somewhere high as a kite with a massive cheesy grin across my face.
( Peej, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:25, Reply)

Sorry
grin across cock inside
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:28, Reply)

I'm a huge fan (no, really?) but I actually had a stupendously bad trip once.
Put me off it for a good ten years.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:22, Reply)

I gave up after I took some acid without any acid in it
i.e. some blotting paper with a little picture on it. 4 hours trying to convince yourself you can see daleks is 4 hours I'm not getting back again.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:24, Reply)

hahaha!

( girlinthehole, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:32, Reply)

In reality, it's not like it wasn't immediately obvious
and, of course, buying stuff off a dealer you don't know is never clever or likely to end well.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:35, Reply)

The first blotter I took did feck all whilest everyone else was tripping wildly.
Must have missed a corner of the sheet where my bit was when spraying the LSD on there.
( girlinthehole, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:39, Reply)

They tend to be dipped, not sprayed,
but they do get hung up to dry - the blotters from bottom of the sheet tend to be stronger for that reason.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:41, Reply)

My pal Yeti spent a week doing fly agaric mushrooms.
By the end of it they all had yellow skin, apparently.

I've eaten what I fear was a death cap which was in some magic mushrooms someone gave me, and was sick as a fucking dog for two days. Not clever.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:18, Reply)

I also have a friend called Yeti
It almost as odd as his real name.
( Peej, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:21, Reply)

If it was you were fucking lucky.
they cause irreversible renal failure and the LD50 is considerably less than a single mushroom.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:22, Reply)

Ah OK maybe it was another wrong'un then. I was very, very ill.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:23, Reply)

Vomiting and shitting yourself inside out is a symptom of death cap poisoning, for sure.
But given your general *ahem* consumption *ahem* you'd be quite lucky if the liver and kidney damage associated with it hadn't caught you up by now ;)
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:26, Reply)

Maybe I'm just fucking reet hard?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:29, Reply)

maybe so sir, maybe so.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:33, Reply)

Nothing I've ever smoked, snorted or swallowed was stupid.
It's all been extremely big and clever.

snorting vodka smarts a bit, mind you. I wouldn't do that again, but then a gentleman only snorts port (from the "beverages to snort" selection, anyway)
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:20, Reply)

I once snorted a full shot of Jaegermeister.
That was a terrible idea, burned like hell, and I spent the rest of the night with tissue up that nostril, making stupid noises.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:22, Reply)

I've snorted aftershock
that wasn't nice
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:26, Reply)

snorted drunk
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:28, Reply)

Also, why?
isn't the point of aftershock to hold it in your mouth so that the alcohol vapourises, swallow and then breathe in the fumes? snorting without the pain. Except having to swallow aftershock.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:29, Reply)

Is it?
Bloody hell, nobody ever told twentysomething me. We just used to neck it.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:46, Reply)

either way, it's rancid.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:47, Reply)

no argument there

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:59, Reply)

Oof, fucking hell, I can imagine!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:28, Reply)

I think dropping two red microdots at 10pm when I had school the next morning was pretty fucking dim.*
I climbed out of my bedroom window onto the roof outside and sat there in silence for fucking hours. Then came in, put my uniform on and went off to school.


*they were free, I am a whore, what can I say?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:21, Reply)

My brother snorted a line of tabasco sauce for a dare one lunchtime at work.
His eyes were watering for a good couple of hours.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:21, Reply)

Remember those mint strips that dissolved on your tongue?
Don't put one of them up your nose. Just don't.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:24, Reply)

Ew.
Actually the worst thing I've snorted is that fucking Vicks First Defence stuff. They should write "DO NOT INHALE" in big fuck-off bold lettering on the box, the bottle and the instructions.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:25, Reply)

Is that the paste stuff, like tiger balm?
Again, for a dare, put that stuff onto my eyeball.

What a fucking idiot I was.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:26, Reply)

Nah, it comes in a bottle with a dose-squirter.
Ha, I got Deep Heat on my balls once, that was fucking stupid. Tabasco in my eye in Modesto's nightclub in Kuala Lumpur, ladies night. I spent the whole night winking at anyone and everyone.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:28, Reply)

Ahh, I know what you mean.
Haha on the tabasco, did a bloody mary go wrong or something?

Deep heat is nasty stuff, but I was so glad for it a few years back. Afterwards I wouldn't let the missus near me unless she'd washed her hands several times, heard far too many horror stories about it.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:29, Reply)

Burning balls are just plain wrong.
Pizza. Me and my boss used to go out on a Thursday night and get a pizza each at the bar. I was training myself in chili and rubbed some in my eye accidentally, naaaasty.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:32, Reply)

Ahh, fair enough
I cooked with quite a lot of tabasco recently, decided to see whether I could make a tesco value pasta sauce edible.

It's actually not a bad base, just add a few herbs, some pepper, and a lot of tabasco. Just make sure you taste properly before adding more tabasco, or it might get just a little stronger than you intended (see: make you sweat like a fat paedo chasing a child)
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:34, Reply)

I don't get "stronger than I intended" very often
because I'm an experienced and competent cook :P
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:36, Reply)

This is the first time it's happened to me
Very tasty, but fucking hell, it had a sting to it!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:42, Reply)

if you're going to do that, why not just start with a can of tomatoes and a couple of bits of veg
which would be cheaper still?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:39, Reply)

Innit.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:40, Reply)

Wanted to see if I could use this sauce in future.
Plus, it's only about 50p, so the price difference is minimal.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:43, Reply)

I tried drinking cooking sherry.
Other than that it's been the straight shit, yo.

Actually, I lie, when I was a kid I used to rub magic marker on cigarettes before smoking them. It gave a massive headrush.
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:26, Reply)

I once watched someone snort paprika
that looked painful in the extreme
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:30, Reply)

my mate used to snort bathroom cleaner [comet]

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:30, Reply)

Hayley?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:31, Reply)

cute
tinyurl.com/43rhq8x
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:34, Reply)

the bleach must have done some proper damage!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:39, Reply)

You would think!
She's a nurse now, oddly enough.
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:43, Reply)

Halley?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:37, Reply)

Dry?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:31, Reply)

After smoking DMT I took a sip of liquid LSD out of the bottle, once.
That was rather unnecessary.

But then I once took 8 trips in an evening (Bath and Avon Free Festival, that was a beauty) - they weren't weak ones either. I was a devil-may-care rapscallion in my mid-teens.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:32, Reply)

The overall thing this thread is raising for me is a question,
'why does everyone seem to spend their time snorting drinks and fucking cooking spices etc all the time?'

I can believe how prevalent this activity seems to be.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:35, Reply)

same reason for doing MDs old bean
"shits and giggles"

booze you snort because it enters the bloodstream through the nasal membrane and the lungs so the hit is instant and short-lived. Same reason you usually snort coke rather than bombing it.

Snorting port, for instance, is really quite a good craic. As long as you don't waste decent vintage on it.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:37, Reply)

That simply would not do.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:39, Reply)

or have it blown up your ass...

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:47, Reply)

arse, love. I'm not wasting anything on donkeys.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:48, Reply)

it's ok
nobody was really expecting you to do it anyway!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 14:01, Reply)

We used to have a scabby looking marijuana plant in the kitchen.
We'd pick the leaves off and dry them out to smoke when we ran out of weed. Yes I know how stupid that is.

My mate threw up after taking an E and then rummaged around in the pool of sick to find it and swallow it again.
( girlinthehole, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:36, Reply)

EURGH

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:39, Reply)

whisky
with fresh orange juice.

my friend puked it all back up in my lap later, as well.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:38, Reply)

Christ, I'm boring.
I've never done any drugs of any kind, nor smoked anything, either legal or illegal.

Doesn't take much in the way of alcohol to get me twatted either.

*feels square again*
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:39, Reply)

*spidermans*
better?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:42, Reply)

Go, go, Gadget cock!

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:45, Reply)

Once when we ran out of marching powder we went to our mate's garage.
Before we started doing any gear we'd been doing power hour with vodka anyway, so we were absolutely gone. We grabbed a load of paint stripper and other variations and sniffed them. Christ, they send you loopy.

I was on the floor for a good hour telling people I was going to be sick, refused to move and threw up what looked like hundreds of yards of black string.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:42, Reply)

Nothing really, I stick to booze.
Interestingly, if you get addicted to it, the withdrawal can actually kill you. It's about the only drug in which withdrawal is as lethal as addiction.
( Kroney, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:42, Reply)

why's that?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:43, Reply)

I don't know the details, I'm sorry to say.
It has a physical component to the withdrawal. Some chemical gets released, I think?
( Kroney, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:49, Reply)

Quotey from some site
"Severe alcohol withdrawal syndrome is accompanied by seizures, hallucinations, tremors, irregular heartbeat, and spikes in blood pressure"

I imagine the spikes in blood pressure would be the potentially lethal aspect.
( Kroney, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:52, Reply)

A crusty pal of my brother's was told by his doctor to keep drinking for this very reason.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:43, Reply)

It's one of the few drugs that has physical side-effect to withdrawl, too
Most of the others are various extremes of psychological effects. Except a few opiates, natch.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:44, Reply)

this is what amy winehouse's parents are clinging to, isn't it?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:46, Reply)

That and the delusional belief that they are God's chosen people
when the evidence of history suggests that should such a being exist, he must really, really fucking hate them.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:50, Reply)

they do love each other though
i know of no other religion, race, team, anything that promotes such cliqueiness and nepotism!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:53, Reply)

Biggest racists I've ever met, ironically.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:54, Reply)

huge number of lawyers are jewish
all lovely people individually, but as a group when you are on the outside, sometimes it can feel like a very closed door.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 14:00, Reply)

You can have fits apparently.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:49, Reply)

My mate Joel smoked orange peel once.
He tried to claim it was 'alright, actually' and was mercilessly mocked for some time about it. 'Got any of that 'orange mellow' on you?' etc.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:43, Reply)

Did the mocking last for the longest time?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:44, Reply)

It was cut short when he tragically burnt to death.
Initially we were in the frame for it (because we'd been bullying the poor boy) - but, as we told the investigating officer 'we didn't start the fire'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:47, Reply)

'How long had it been burning?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:48, Reply)

I think it started in the middle of the niiiight.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:49, Reply)

Arrrrh, ear worm

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:52, Reply)

I am genuinely sorry.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:55, Reply)

Reminds me of this with Stephen Merchant
www.youtube.com/watch?v=xMd65wL3zcs
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:48, Reply)

Will have to see this at home

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:48, Reply)

Banana skins.
Doesn't work.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:48, Reply)