Of him? Or knobbing?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 13:34, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

i'm bored of him not being the first one to text/email at least half the time
or only putting one x instead of xx like he used to, but then being lovely in person, so i think he has gone off me, and then think it's going really well, but then realise i had to initiate the texting all over again. it's confusing...

so confusing so that it's made me go off the whole thing. i don't have the emotional energy to be wondering if his slowing down on the texting/emailing thing means that he feels v comfortable now it's been a few months and doesn't feel that he needs to, or if it means that he is simply less keen! hence feeling totally bored with it all.

life's too short to be stressing about some dude when there's literally hundreds of thousands of other dudes out there. and once i start to feel like that, it's usually game over!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 13:49, Reply)

Message from all men:
Chill!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 13:49, Reply)

yeah but "chill" means caring less
and once you care less.... you don't care!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 13:51, Reply)

Beware of polarised thinking.
It's not all or nothing, there are many degrees in between.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 13:52, Reply)

pfft
you sound like him!

not that i tell him any of this stuff. he just gets bright and breezy.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 13:55, Reply)

No it doesn't, it simply means calming down the crazy a little
Is one less kiss on a message really that important?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 14:01, Reply)

Bleeing hell hon!
Don't sweat it and just enjoy the moment.
( girlinthehole, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 13:51, Reply)

it's not unreasonable for me to think
i didn't hear from you ONCE yesterday, and i only heard from you on monday because i emailed you to say "good luck at the doctors", is it? also, if you upgrade me to xx, DO NOT downgrade me to x. i am a lawyer, i will notice it, and i will analyse it.

somehow in my brain, this counterbalances a very nice afternoon/night on sat, when the way we left it was a long kiss goodnight and him saying "i'll see you next week".
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 13:54, Reply)

You are an idiot.
and will ultimately either fuck up or throw away what sounds like as good a relationship as any of us are likely to get, by being so.

Still it's your life.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 10 Aug 2011, 13:58, Reply)

no no, he will never be allowed to see this side of my brain
whether we get married or whether he dumps me tonight! i am just not contacting him until he contacts me, and we'll see how long he leaves it...

i've had a guy do this before, where he went from loads of daily texts/emails/filthy phone calls to virtually nothing. it was so transparent that i asked him a couple of times if he wanted to stop things, thinking this would make it easier. only for him to say "no, i have no idea what you're talking about, everything's fine". then, after making me waste precious holiday time (which is now fucking up my plans for the rest of the year), only then did he decide i had been right and he had gone off the whole idea. i wasn't bothered about him, but oh em gee, i was mighty mad about those wasted holiday days!

i know you shouldn't blame the current guy for the last one, but my mind now wants to look for patterns.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 14:03, Reply)

Seriously, chill the fuck out
Dont text him and after a few days he will get back to you and probably ask what the matter is. He probably expects you to text him and then him to respond
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 14:06, Reply)

if he leaves it a few days before getting in touch at all
the matter will be that i have taken someone else up on their offer!

(i am only being a tioy bit serious here. although the other guy is very cute.)
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 14:09, Reply)

I don't think a few days is too long at all!
It's not like you are living together
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 14:11, Reply)

it's not about the amount of texts
it's about the CHANGE in behaviour from him initiating 50% or more of the contact and texting/emailing maybe 3-5 times per day (just short ones, no essays) to nothing.

and i don't know if that signifies comfort or loss of interest. but getting upset about it has now made me lose interest!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 14:14, Reply)

I'm tending to agree the "xx" as opposed to "x" thing is really fucking stupid
but all of the posts read "insecure" and it's a fuck load easier to just tuck tail and run as opposed to changing the way you think and behave to try to make it work, there may be thousands of other men out there, but what's the point if you're just going to sabatoge it yourself, BERK.
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 14:03, Reply)

I'd like to agree with these sentiments
although I would be a hypocrite. Baggage stays with you and being defensive mean you don't get hurt again.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 14:07, Reply)

if it's me being insecure then fine, as it goes on, i will appreciate that not hearing him every day means nothing
but at the moment, i am seeing a drop in texting/emailing and therefore i am seeing a lack of willingness to do that!

if he can't be arsed to send a simple "good morning" OR (i'm not greedy) a "goodnight", then i can't be arsed to see him and suck his cock!!!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 14:07, Reply)

So, just a quick question
Let's say some/anyone else were to send you those messages, what would they get?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 14:11, Reply)

Fuck off you, I'm experimenting here

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 14:13, Reply)

GOOD MORNING!
GOOD NIGHT!

xx
^
Note: two kisses
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 14:11, Reply)

both these two made me laugh a lot
you guys have made me feel much better.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 14:12, Reply)

*unzips*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 14:13, Reply)

Good good
Now seriously, chill out. If he were to know you were going mental, he'd get really freaked out. It's not worth causing trouble over something this minor, surely?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 14:19, Reply)

ha, i'm not going mental, honestly
i got upset a couple of weeks ago, but of course did not tell him that. and we've had some really lovely dates since then. but now he's dropped off the communication radar again - i won't get upset twice, i'll just stop caring.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 14:21, Reply)

if you didn't care you wouldn't be going on about it

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 14:22, Reply)

well, i care about it more than i care about the letter i am drafting, i guess!
i had better delete this rant shortly, just in case he ever finds out about the whole b3ta thing...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 14:23, Reply)

you're too much sometimes

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 14:27, Reply)

Spoken like a true married man

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 14:15, Reply)

well yeah
there are no blowies in the wedding vows!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 14:18, Reply)

get a grip on life
if he's responding to your texts then what's the problem

I understand you want him to go out of his way, but he's a MAN.
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 14:13, Reply)

i suppose so
the fact that you ALL think i am being insecure makes me question my originally rock-solid thoughts on the matter!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 14:18, Reply)

You're going to think all your thoughts are rock solid
you're a lawyer
sometimes you're wrong, believe it or not
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 14:21, Reply)

this is probably true
the first bit. the second can't possibly be.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 14:28, Reply)

It all sounds pretty normal to me
When you first got together he was extra attentive because he was trying to impress you.
He impressed you, job done - perhaps he can ease off a bit on the texting etc. (also, doesn't do to look too keen - that might piss her off)
I would imagine that, as a man, he will assume that all is fine unless you give him clear, unambiguous signals that it is not.
You're a lawyer, can't you draw up some kind of contract that clearly explains the minimum level of service you expect in order to maintain the level or blowjobs he has become accustomed to?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 14:26, Reply)

NNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDYYYYYYYY

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 13:52, Reply)

is it?
i don't think wanting to get ONE text or email a day is needy, when you've been dating a few months, is it?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 13:56, Reply)

Yes it is
it cuts dangerously into the time we have allocated to thinking about football and cars.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 14:13, Reply)

or in some people's cases
elves and warlocks?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 14:15, Reply)

real men think about
dwarves and orcs, not elves
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 14:22, Reply)

GO GO GADGET INSECURITIES !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 14:16, Reply)

gah!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 14:19, Reply)

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 10 Aug 2011, 21:13, Reply)