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Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Pops in
Anyone about?
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:09, 143 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
just me.

(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:10, Reply)
oi oi

(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:12, Reply)
does it bother you that people still call you bobby since the name change?

(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:13, Reply)
Why would it?
He *IS* Bobby!
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:14, Reply)
nah I used to change my name every other week, dr3wyork is just one of my email id's.

(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:14, Reply)
i like it

(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:22, Reply)
Ah! Clever people...
When a job application asks me why I want to work for [insert name of institution], what do they want me to say?
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:13, Reply)
"because you will pay me enough money to make doing hat you want me to do bearable"

(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:14, Reply)
That's pretty much what I want to say
but I'm guessing they're looking for something a bit more 'I hear this is one of the best colleges in the area and it's my absolute wet dream to be on the payroll'
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:15, Reply)
Is it the hat college?

(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:17, Reply)
Some one should do this, just once.
I swear if I'm ever in a position to do so I'll hire anyone who says this.
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:17, Reply)
Because...
'My life is spent answering questions about if I've been on the pier'

*Hopes the job is on the pier*
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:15, Reply)
I want to work for you because I need more money to spend on lube

(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:15, Reply)
lube, and the pier. And crazy golf.

(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:16, Reply)
You can both fuck off.
I don't like application forms. I'm freaking out.
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:17, Reply)
why don't you lube it up and stick it where the sun don't shine.

(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:18, Reply)
Copy it.
Write it out a few times, and then write the final application properly. The advantage with non-electrical documentation, is that only those who want/need to complete it will.

If you've got the motivation to complete it, you'll have as much chance as anyone else.
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:19, Reply)
Nah, I'm doing it online.
Well, offline, in Word, then applying by email. I'm down to the last bit, which is where I feel I fall down. I never know what they're looking for me to say, and always end up putting something shit.
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:21, Reply)
Copy/Paste the exact question.
(And give us a little bit of info about the role)
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:25, Reply)
Had to swap computers and wireless networks
as ours is being a bit of a cunt.

The job is a marketing copywriter for a college - basically doing all the prospectuses, adverts, p[ress releases etc.

I've already done the 'what skills do you have that make us want to spunk on your tits?' question. Now I have 'Why do you want to work for Scumbag College?' and I don't know whether to say 'because you're ACES' or 'because you totally need me to'
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:41, Reply)
Right. I'm going for a tab. I'll answer on my return.

(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:43, Reply)
Why do you want to work here?
'I appreciate the work already undertaken by the college and feel I can add value to the organisation, [Adds examples] additionally, the value of education means [adds more bollocks] and in closing, I've got massive tits, so unless you've got a huge amount of spunk, you'll struggle covering them.'
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:55, Reply)
That helps. Thank you.

(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:56, Reply)
hahaha!

(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:57, Reply)
*Adopts serious face*
What do you mean?
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:58, Reply)
jeff is the tits at this stuff b3th
he'll steer you right
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:27, Reply)
I thought I was better than that!

(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:33, Reply)
BETTER THAN TITS?
I'm not sure I know anyone better than tits, cause I'm just saying you know, tits are fucking great
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:34, Reply)
Chips or tits?
NSFajobyou'llbestayingin

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ApqjnnR44-E
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:36, Reply)
i'm falling asleep at my desk

(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:14, Reply)
Do it, K!
Fuck 'em. They don't deserve you to stay awake and work, and they probably don't appreciate you when you do.
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:14, Reply)
it's true, my roomie said last night that it seems that no matter what I do it'll never be good enough and it's so true
I'll probably get chewed out for not sleeping properly.
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:21, Reply)
This made me laugh
and now I feel bad for laughing at your pain.

I don't deserve a nice job. I shall delete my application immediately.
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:22, Reply)
what? delete your application?

(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:24, Reply)
You need to go radio-rentals on your last day.
Does your office have a suspended ceiling?
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:16, Reply)
go what?
I don't think it does
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:20, Reply)
Ahh.
I just worked with someone once in a office who moved one of the ceiling tiles and put a bag of 'fresh' prawns in there, hidden in the ceiling, after a couple of weeks it fucking stank. And none of us knew where it was coming from.
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:24, Reply)
oh gross
no, it's all walls and proper ceiling, wouldn't waste good shrimp on that anyway, I'm broke
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:25, Reply)
Have you been given a final date yet?
Also, do the company you work for accept external 'jobs' in so much that, if someone e-mails/calls, will they go out to the job and rescue the car, or are they 100% 'bring it to me' - I'm just thinking with could have a lot of fun if they are trying to be 'modern' and accepting business from all over the place.
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:27, Reply)
nah nothing like that, I'm guessing it's tomorrow, he's trying to tell me I need to stay on next week
but I'm all fuck that if you think I'm sticking around and cleaning for that twat
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:29, Reply)
You need to start stealing things.
As well as deleting files they don't back-up.

It's the future.
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:31, Reply)
I'm here.
Surfing the internet innit.
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:16, Reply)
*Waves*
Hi ya!
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:18, Reply)
Hi!
*waves*

How ya doing?
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:20, Reply)
Not too bad.
A few work issues that needed stamping on, but aside from that, lovely.
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:22, Reply)
Hooray!

(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:23, Reply)
I see the boots don't meet up to your exacting standards.
This makes me do a sad. At least you got an orgasm out of them, though.
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:19, Reply)
Oh no. Are there boots issues?

(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:20, Reply)
I'm just too lazy to do up all those laces.
I'm getting shorter boots.
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:21, Reply)
I read that
as 'I'm getting shorter'. I know you're old, but surely you're a little too young to start shrinking just yet...
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:24, Reply)
I'm one inch shorter than I was in my early adult life.
Truefact!
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:25, Reply)
Soon you won't have to kneel down to suck someone off!

(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:32, Reply)
Alright Jeff
how are you?
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:16, Reply)
I'm good thank you*.
What have you done today?

*Well, I say I'm good, I was told/asked to take a 10% pay cut today.
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:17, Reply)
That sucks.
And also explains why you're being MEAN and A CUNT.
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:20, Reply)
I'm always MEAN and A CUNT
I've deferred the pay-cut and suggested that when my current contract comes to the point of close/extention/renegotiation, we talk about it then.
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:21, Reply)
Good move
I'm okay thanks, not done much today. I can't cook for shit though
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:24, Reply)
Any more temping in the pipeline...
And were any of my suggestions of any use? You know the voluntary work is highly sought after by potential employers? Have a look at www.thirdsector.co.uk/ if you are kicking your heels for a bit, whilst it might not meet any career ambitions, keeping yourself busy - especially if you decide to sign on - will go a long, long way to making yourself more employable.
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:30, Reply)
Problem is, if you're employed while claiming benefits - even in unpaid work - you invalidate your claim.

(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:32, Reply)
Not if you do less than 15 hours per week
*At least I think it's 15 hours a week.
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:33, Reply)
Really?
Last time I was on the dole (2 1/2 years ago) it was any work at all. Can't remember if it was a condition of JSA, housing benefit or both.
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:34, Reply)
It is 15 I think.
And I'd rather work than collect obviously. Haven't even got the first week so far.
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:35, Reply)
Keep yourself busy.
The thing with doing voluntary work, is that people understand that you can't make it or something else has cropped up.

And it'll make you feel good.
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:37, Reply)
^this

(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:41, Reply)
It's like wanking for a good cause.
*May have over-sold-the-feel-good-factor*
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:43, Reply)
With JSA
you have to be available to take up work at any time. Even if what you're doing is voluntary, and for charity or whatever, they class it as 'not available to take up work'.

Then again, ask DG when he gets here. He'll know.
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:46, Reply)
I'm watching Fight Club as a feel-good movie
This says something, not sure what.
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:21, Reply)
You'd like to bum Brad Pitt.

(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:22, Reply)
I like old school pitt, like in legends of the fall and interview with the vampire
but i'd totally bum ed norton in fight club
fucking phwooooooaaaaaaarrrrrrr
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:23, Reply)
I'd rather bum him in American History X.

(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:26, Reply)
:/
I quite liked him in Primal Fear when he goes from st-st-stuttering choir boy to I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU in two licks
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:28, Reply)
What about the Illusionist?

(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:30, Reply)
I don't think I've seen that.
I've quite become a fan of Leonardo DiCaprio as well.
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:35, Reply)
I'd like to burn the world down.

(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:26, Reply)
Your testosterone levels need checking.

(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:23, Reply)
Volunteering?

(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:27, Reply)
Sure!
Just pee in this beaker for me.
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:28, Reply)
*pees in beaker*

(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:33, Reply)
*notices penis*
Yup! You're all man.
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:35, Reply)
Why thank you.
I'll be a happier man his time tomorrow.
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:37, Reply)
: )

(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:40, Reply)
what's going on here?

(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:43, Reply)
Nothing to see here.
Move along.
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:43, Reply)
K. They is well loved up, innit.

(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:44, Reply)
There is only one man on here who I'm married to Jeff.

(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:45, Reply)
And only one man you're cheating with

(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:49, Reply)
*is insulted.*

(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:50, Reply)
*amends to open relationship*

(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:54, Reply)
That Bobby has a lot to answer for.

(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:50, Reply)
Amberl. Will you be on hand to pick up the pieces of my broken life?

(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:52, Reply)
I'm not being no rebound *ghettos*

(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:53, Reply)
I'll take you lootin' up Stokes Croft...

(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:56, Reply)
Jeez I can't even smile at another guy and you're jealous.

(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:53, Reply)
I just want to know where I stand Blousie.
I've been burnt before. And I don't want to be on the pier. ON. MY. OWN.

Who will help me off the Ghost Train?
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:56, Reply)
I could never leave you Jeff.
There's a Jeff shaped hole in my heart that only you can fill. All my other holes are free to anyone who wants them.
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 22:00, Reply)
That means a lot.
*Will sleep well*
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 22:03, Reply)

tinyurl.com/448zua3
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:47, Reply)
Hahah!
A Cheryl Cole pic for every eventuality.
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:48, Reply)
I enjoy this and will miss it once I sell my body for science to pay my dogs way through obedience school

(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 22:00, Reply)
I'm being in a bad mood and BGB's smiling.What's up with you?

(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:44, Reply)

tinyurl.com/3eod6sl
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:52, Reply)
You do not look your best in that picture.

(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:53, Reply)
I'm laughing at you, you big silly.
I hope you're not trying to touch my Beej, I'll have to have your hands removed.
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:55, Reply)
I would not dream of it.
I know either you or Jeff would knee-cap me.
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:56, Reply)

tinyurl.com/3chqsf8
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 21:59, Reply)
eeeew
you've let yourself go.
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 22:00, Reply)

tinyurl.com/3m79cow
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 22:01, Reply)
I'm not even sure what that expression is.

(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 22:03, Reply)
"I'ma fuck you up"

(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 22:04, Reply)

Oh yeah?
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 22:05, Reply)

tinyurl.com/3p23x93
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 22:08, Reply)
You filthy Minx.

(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 22:09, Reply)
But Quixote isn't a black bathroom attendant

(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 22:07, Reply)
Yeah, right.
Next you'll be saying I'm not a black dude with natty dreads.
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 22:08, Reply)
Proper LOL
thank you.
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 22:08, Reply)
Lol

(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 22:00, Reply)
Wotcha Jeffarooni
I'm about five days away from losing my wife to Jared Leto. Well, what the heck, good luck to her I say, lasso the moon and all that.

Just watched Akira and my second eldest son didn't appreciate it as much as I'd hoped. Who knew adoption agencies turned up so quickly?
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 22:02, Reply)
Jared Leto? Give your wife a talking to ffs.

(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 22:04, Reply)
He's quite pretty

(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 22:07, Reply)
I don't like pretty men.

(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 22:09, Reply)
I don't even know what to say

(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 22:10, Reply)
: D

(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 22:10, Reply)
How do you think I feel!

(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 22:11, Reply)
Say 'He's fucking gorgeous, Blousie, shut up!'
and he has lovely eyes.
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 22:13, Reply)
She's beyond help at this point, all I can do indulge her
As long as she's happy.....*sobs*
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 22:12, Reply)
Round my aunt's yesterday
She was showing me all the stuff she used to listen to in clubs back in the day. Alarmingly I listen to all the same stuff when I go out, but I've got loads of new disco ammunition now.
How mint is this?: www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJ9nC4mg4tI
And this: www.youtube.com/watch?v=otBdxNmEq6k
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 22:02, Reply)
You are weird.

(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 22:08, Reply)
Both tracks are mega.
I'm just going to feel a tad self-conscious the next time I'm off my tits in a club dancing to similar stuff, knowing my aunt was doing exactly the same thing twenty years ago.
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 22:16, Reply)
I bet she wasn't off her tits though.

(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 22:17, Reply)
What are the chances of you getting me a ticket for the QPR away game Bazza?

(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 22:17, Reply)
In our end?
God knows, very slim I'd imagine. I reckon it'll be one per season ticket holder, and you'll need X amount of loyalty points on top of that. On the other hand, they're £65 so demand may not be that much.
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 22:21, Reply)
SCRAP THAT.
I'm a silly sod. It's at home. I'll be able to sort you one a piece of piss.
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 22:23, Reply)
I'll check my train times.
(I booked 'em on the cheap, but I might well be up for the game).

City are away to Blackpool that weekend.
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 22:32, Reply)
Enough of this slander and silliness.
I'm off to bed.

Night all.
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 22:18, Reply)
See ya.
HEATHEN!
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 22:19, Reply)
night blousie

(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 22:21, Reply)
In Tyler we trust.
nighty night folks.
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 22:33, Reply)
Night Bumders.
Unless you want a Question Time debate...
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 22:39, Reply)
Is it on now?

(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 22:45, Reply)
My brain is too dead for that

(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 22:46, Reply)
Mine is barely awake enough for that..

(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 22:47, Reply)
If it's time for the question 'Which actors played The Magnificent Seven' then I'm on it like Sonic
Otherwise I'm going back to watching Castle.
(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 22:58, Reply)
What is that woman wearing with the massive hat thing

(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 23:01, Reply)

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