What's good to do in London?
Alt: If you were going to join the forces which branch would you opt for and why?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 11:33, 121 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Bah
I don't write a thread in months and now you come and spoil it. Buh.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 19 Aug 2011, 11:34, Reply)

Well I am currently hating all things Spanish.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 11:35, Reply)

The trouble with the Spanish is that they're all like
"Hello, my name is El Salvador, I eat piella during festivals and sometimes chase bulls down streets just for the hell of it and then and put lots of sugar and fruit in my wine". All of them. It really gets on my tits.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 11:39, Reply)

What about the Portugese? do they annoy you?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 11:40, Reply)

Yeah', when I'm walking down the streets of portugal, minding my own buisnes, on the way to the cafe to get a real breakfast to go with my stella (being careful not to spill some hienz baked beens down my england top)
and they're all like "Hello, my name is El Salvadoro, I eat garlic soup that has 1st grade saffron in that my wife and family picked from the fields. Sometimes, just for the hell of it, we splinter off from the main goverment and create a basque sepporatist movement. And I _also_ just like El Salvador, put lots of sugar and fruit in my wine on a hot summer's day".
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 11:53, Reply)

Why are you hating us?

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 19 Aug 2011, 11:54, Reply)

My only conclusion is that the bloke who did his tattoos is Spanish.
Even I'd hate us if he inflicted the same rubbish onto my skin.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 11:58, Reply)

I understand
In that case I won't complain; although I can't agree.

Are you going to be around London the next weekend? We are considering going to the carnival. Never been there and I'm a bit affraid about going with the bump, what do you think?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:00, Reply)

Because Cesc Fabregas went back to Barcelona and became the second Arsenal player to break my heart.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 11:59, Reply)

But his heart never left Barcelona
you knew that when you got him, and it was proved during the world cup.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:00, Reply)

Hahahaha.
You're a grown man. Yes hate footballers, I fucking hate loads. But to like one of them enough to be able to say he broke your heart cos he left, well, I don't really know what to say except that that is saaa-aaaa-aaaad.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:07, Reply)

Punch him in the cock.
How is the bump?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 11:36, Reply)

Punching everywhere
never stops. It's funny and annoying at the same time.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 19 Aug 2011, 11:57, Reply)

Alt: didn't you (or someone else) ask this recently?
Joke answer - RAF, to see the look on their faces after they test my eyesight.

Correct answer - Navy, obv.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 11:43, Reply)

I did, but I thought I asked it in real life? god forbid I am mixing the two up.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 11:45, Reply)

You are.
There is no hope for you.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 11:47, Reply)

there never was

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 11:53, Reply)

Everything you can do in London is better than doing it in the dreary city you live in.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 11:43, Reply)

Bristol is epic you titmonkey

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 11:46, Reply)

No it isn't shitforbrains.
It is nice place to visit and do stuff. Compared to London it is a B feature though.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 11:49, Reply)

i like bristols

( broadsword, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 11:51, Reply)

After London/Manchester, Bristol is the best easily, Birmingham is a hole.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 11:51, Reply)

So, you agree with me then?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 11:52, Reply)

Yeah of course you are rigfht but Bristol is brilliant, London isn't to everyones taste and there are things in Bristol which are better.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 11:54, Reply)

I like Bristol, don't get me wrong.
I would live there no problem. I like the river and the night life, good museeums and galleries, but mainly because it has a fine railway to London.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:07, Reply)

Bristol is a cracking night out.
Then you've done it all.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 11:51, Reply)

You can get quite a nice view from the Monument
It's only a couple of quid and you get a certificate at the end. You do have to negotiate a steep and narrow spiral staircase with backpackers trying to get past you in the opposite direction.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 11:48, Reply)

me
alt: the one where the men have the hottest uniform. might be the american airforce or navy, i forget which.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 11:49, Reply)

they're all benders

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 11:50, Reply)

they can't ALL be benders, surely
statistics say only the good looking, clean smelling, clever, funny, sweet ones are likely to be benders.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 11:56, Reply)

Nope, he's right. Benders without exception.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:02, Reply)

ugly, hairy, smelly, straight, win.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:02, Reply)

story of my love life

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:04, Reply)

slutty answer is slutty, nice work

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 11:52, Reply)

i try

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 11:55, Reply)

I'm going to be in London next month, have you got nice tits?

( broadsword, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 11:53, Reply)

no, they're far too big, sorry
my legs and arse are ok though, if i can interest you in a go on those instead?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 11:55, Reply)

There's no such thing as too big

( broadsword, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:00, Reply)

you were supposed to say "there's no such thing as too big"
and make me feel better.

bad broadsword.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:03, Reply)

?

( broadsword, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:05, Reply)

See the 80's documentary 'Top Gun'
For proof of homosexuality
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:10, Reply)

Your mum
I wouldn't join the forces so can take no part in your alt question I'm afraid
( broadsword, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 11:50, Reply)

Meet some weird internet types for lunch and drinks.
Alt: not one of them. Everyone in my family has been in the army. I don't react well to people shouting at me, so I wouldn't last ten minutes in any of the armed forces.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 19 Aug 2011, 11:53, Reply)

you would be a good sniper, think how long you could lie in wait resting on those collossal meat pillows.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 11:56, Reply)

Lucky you and darth are here to keep reminding b3th she has breasts.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 11:59, Reply)

HOLY SHIT etc

( broadsword, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:01, Reply)

It's not really true
everyone knows there are no women on the internet, except fat munters.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:02, Reply)

Fat munters can have breasts as well, you know.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:02, Reply)

I've got a cracking pair
anyone fancy a quick motorboating?
( broadsword, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:05, Reply)

Your testes don't count
whether you've shaved them and drawn on nipples or not
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:09, Reply)

It's like you've got a special insight into my pants

( broadsword, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:10, Reply)

hurr hurr
I swear they've grown in the last week. I can barely breathe anymore. I'm going to have to specially adapt a zimmer frame to rest them on as I walk.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:00, Reply)

If you pay me a fiver an hour I will walk behind you cupping them gracefully for you.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:01, Reply)

Lucky you're here to keep reminding bobby you've got breasts etc.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:02, Reply)

It's all I've got, Chompy.
Without them I'm just like any other boring middle-aged woman.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:04, Reply)

*deep breath*
British Museum, Museum of London, boat trip from Westminster to Greenwich followed by Royal Observatory, Camden (if you’re a cunt), Imperial War Museum, Natural History Museum, National Gallery, Tates (if you’re a cunt), St Paul’s Cathedral, Museum of London Docklands, Wellcome Collection, John Soane House Museum, Brick Lane/Spitalfields Market, Borough Market, Broadway Market on a Saturday, a choice of shitloads of lovely parks, the number of things is simply staggering and far too numerous to list.

Alternatively ‘oh boo hoo, London’s a bit noisy and hectic and I’m scared of all the cool people boo hoo, boo hoo’
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 11:54, Reply)

I've been invited to a bbq in Shoreditch and I have no interest whatsoever.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 11:57, Reply)

Let's go for a couple of cheeky pints.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 11:58, Reply)

I'm in man, I will text you when I get told if/what the plan is.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:01, Reply)

Shoreditch = slightly better
than where I'm bbqing which is Ealing I believe
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:04, Reply)

*Waves*
I'm in ealing right-fucking-now!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:05, Reply)

I will be on Sunday
Is there anything to do in Ealing since I have a couple of hours to waste before meeting my friend?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:07, Reply)

rioting
aside from that...no.

There are a couple of nice pubs, some shit generic high street shops and err the council building...
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:08, Reply)

Bugger
oh well I can find a coffeeshop and read a book
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:10, Reply)

This is your best bet, we have Costa's, Nero's and Starbucks
the Broadway is your coffee oyster

Or go here opposite the famous Ealing studios: www.fullers.co.uk/rte.asp?id=243&itemid=241&task=View
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:13, Reply)

I think that's where we're going for lunch :)

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:16, Reply)

They do a good line in pies in there.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:25, Reply)

The beer's usually pretty good too. It's one of my weekend locals, is that.

(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:32, Reply)

Yes: leave Ealing.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:11, Reply)

That's a little too much effort

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:13, Reply)

Great. Well done - it's shit.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:12, Reply)

I KNOW

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:14, Reply)

SHOREDITCH IS NOT BETTER
:'(
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:26, Reply)

Than Ealing?
I've been to both, and regretfully I'd probably take Shoreditch
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:27, Reply)

Shoreditch is worse than everything
for a start, Monty is usually there.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:29, Reply)

it's full of cunts that's true
no dispute there. Haven't seen you in ages either
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:32, Reply)

Thanks!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:35, Reply)

You're a terrible cunt
which isn't to say I don't like you
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:37, Reply)

*takes notes*
I've booked a trip on a duck boat tour for me and my girls next month. I am also planning a visit to Harrods (sure to impress Americans) but can't decide whether it's worth going on the Eye. Won't have time to do any museums, sadly.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 19 Aug 2011, 11:58, Reply)

I've never been on the Eye but I imagine the views are spectacular.
That said, they are if you walk over Waterloo Bridge and that's free.

In the 18 or however may years I've lived here, when I go over that bridge coming back from Winchester I still love it as much as a first-time tourist would.


/cheapskate
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:00, Reply)

I can do that.
Free is good. I like free.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:01, Reply)

Me too.
Lusty is an expert in getting the best out of London for sod all. Quite a skill. I've seen some really smart, weird, quirky little places off the beaten track - just lovely and a million miles from the overpriced tawdry shite like Madame Tussauds.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:05, Reply)

We only have one day, and I want to get as much in as possible
without rushing them around so fast they can't take anything in.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:07, Reply)

I can thinkl of few worse places on Earth

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:07, Reply)

What about Ealing?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:12, Reply)

There was a young lady from Ealing

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:13, Reply)

But she was pushed over and had her head stamped on during the riots

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:14, Reply)

the Eye is worth a go
the view is pretty tremendous
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:04, Reply)

When I was doign my MSc they let us go up the Queens Tower at Imperial during Rag Week
You get a really great view from the top.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:11, Reply)

Up the queen's tower?
During rag week?

I say. *drops monocle*
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 19 Aug 2011, 13:28, Reply)

Come to my building
and you'll get a better view than the London Eye for free.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:26, Reply)

We live in the best city in the world, don't we?
It fucking pains me that I have to leave in a month.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 11:59, Reply)

Without a shadow of a doubt we do.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:01, Reply)

Where are you going?

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:04, Reply)

To visit the Queen.
Edit: sorry, you won't get that reference - being a ghastly Johnny foreigner and all...
www.rhymes.org.uk/pussycat_pussycat.htm
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:05, Reply)

Very sweet, Monty

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:09, Reply)

To see a man about a dog

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:06, Reply)

To San Francisco

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:07, Reply)

I have this strange feeling
that there is something funny going on... but can't quite put my finger on it.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:08, Reply)

I think it's a pretty damned close tie between London and Sydney.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:10, Reply)

Sydney is a special city.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:19, Reply)

There are quite a lot of spastics there it's true
but that's true of a lot of Australia.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:35, Reply)

When are you in London?

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 19 Aug 2011, 11:55, Reply)

Tonight, Tomorrow, leaving Sunday avo.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 11:57, Reply)

Well
all those museums that Monty said are very good; I like the science one. And the Natural History, where you can see THE DINOSAURS!!!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:10, Reply)

If you go, go early. Tourists clog the place up really quickly

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:11, Reply)

Thames riverbuses
Are a reasonably inexpensive way to see the City.

Westminster to Greenwich is nice and you can have a beer on the boat and sit outside on deck.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:12, Reply)

It's excellent and the commentary you get from those old cockernees is hysterical.
They tell so many lies they should be on QOTW.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:16, Reply)

Rioting

(PsychoChomp, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 11:58, Reply)

Rioting was sooo last week

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:04, Reply)

Leave.
Airforce. I look good in navy blue.
( girlinthehole, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:28, Reply)

Navy blue is navy, silly
The Air Force wear air force blue. Which the rest of us call 'sort of light blue grey'.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:31, Reply)

Oh yeah!
I like the moustaches too.
( girlinthehole, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:32, Reply)

Tickle your thighs a bit though...

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:36, Reply)

I know ; )

( girlinthehole, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:37, Reply)

I'm making notes on all of this for our sojourn to the Smoke next month
Keep 'em coming, boys and girls. The only thing I might struggle to convince Ms Foxtrot to do with me is Rachelswipe.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:32, Reply)

That'll be a lucky escape then.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:36, Reply)

I was quite hoping to meet her
and whip out a drawing pin with which to deflate these legendary "breasts"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:39, Reply)

I met your sort in the forces

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:38, Reply)

Which forces?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 12:47, Reply)

*forces one out*

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 13:00, Reply)