Kick off about 7ish.
I'm DJing all night bar an hour or so of a pal of mine so I'm going to be unable to socialise for most of the evening, which is a bit bent - or a blessed relief, depending on your viewpoint.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:35, 5 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Well that's a bit crap.

( girlinthehole, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:36, Reply)

It is rather.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:38, Reply)

I'll Dj for an hour if you want.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:39, Reply)

Me too!
I'll bring my David Bowie collection. Everyone loves Spiders from Mars.
( girlinthehole, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:40, Reply)

I wouldn't bring any stuff, I'd just put the songs monty brought on the decks in roughly alphabetical order
with a 2-3 second pause between tracks. And I'd talk over the tracks asking for beer from whoever is at the bar.
I'd also like to say "party people" at least once a track.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:42, Reply)

You, sir, have got the job.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:45, Reply)

Don't forget to tell everyone to reach for the lasers

( Kroney, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:45, Reply)

Safe as fuck

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:48, Reply)

You can be my MC

(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:49, Reply)

hardly seems worth going now

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:42, Reply)

Can't you just set up an iTunes playlist like the pros?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:36, Reply)

He can't work out where the needle arm on an iPod is.

( Kroney, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:37, Reply)

His 7 incher won't fit in the card slot

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:41, Reply)

160GB?
But this record's a 45, it'll be much too fast!
( Kroney, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:49, Reply)

the bloke wants a second tattoo
he is thinking of getting a record needle to go down his arm.

what should i say to this?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:42, Reply)

"Goodbye, your raging homo"?

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:42, Reply)

It's better than a unicorn spunking on a merman under a rainbow, which was his first choice

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:43, Reply)

lovely image
THANKS
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:45, Reply)

My pleasure
or to stick with the theme he could get a jack tattooed on his cock and you could get an input socket...
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:48, Reply)

Probably NSFW
media.photobucket.com/image/gay+merman+tattoo+/EmmeMacDAWG/gay-mermen-tattoo.jpg
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 13 Sep 2011, 11:11, Reply)

His body so his decision.

( girlinthehole, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:43, Reply)

Put the needle on the record
Put the needle on the record
Put the needle on the record
And the drumbeat go like dis

Repeat until he changes his mind
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:44, Reply)

Is that revenge for me mentioning on a Ragga Tip the other day?
Cos that fucker has just got firmly lodged in my head now.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:48, Reply)

I love that tune.
better still is Jah Screechie's 'Walk and Skank' from which it is taken. I have the 12" (ladies form a queue)
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:51, Reply)

*leaps to the front*

( girlinthehole, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:53, Reply)

it's really thin and brittle though
and it has a hole in the middle.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:55, Reply)

Hahaha!

( girlinthehole, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:56, Reply)

It's always about the girth though, ask anyone.

( Kroney, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:56, Reply)

Mmmmm! girth.

( girlinthehole, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:58, Reply)

Just the needle?
He's getting a line tattooed onto his arm?
( Kroney, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:46, Reply)

That's what I was thinking.
I assume he meant the arm of a record player.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:49, Reply)

Still sounds shit

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:50, Reply)

He should get
a jar of Branston and a polecat on his arm.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:53, Reply)

hahaha, in God's name why?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:54, Reply)

Chutney, and a ferret-like animal?


I've no idea.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:56, Reply)

He should get, right, a man, right, with a wheel barrow, right, and a spade
walking up some sort of implied gradient.

LOL
( Kroney, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:57, Reply)

I was thinking a man putting fudge into a box.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:59, Reply)

The Thornton's logo
and 'despatch department' underneath it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 11:02, Reply)

ooh, I've got one, I've got one...
he should get 'GAY!' in massive letters, cos, you know, he's actually gay! LOLOLOLOLOL
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 11:05, Reply)

OH THIS 'FTW'
LOL
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 11:06, Reply)

He should get, right,
a jar of Marmite and a Morris Minor!!!!!!!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 11:01, Reply)

Or, right, a road. Like, a dual carriageway, or a motorway, right?
But the road's covered in Hershey's livery.

ROFL
( Kroney, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 11:03, Reply)

He should get two whole cricket teams tattooed and with a representation of him swapping teams so that he can bat for the other side

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 11:11, Reply)

Magnificent.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:58, Reply)

needles are tiny
does he have really little arms?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:54, Reply)

Maybe she meant 'dick'

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:58, Reply)

+ weak wrists

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:58, Reply)

I read that as "all night bar", and was about to rejoice.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:42, Reply)

This sounds like an establishment of plausible deniability ...
"What, those Internetty people? God no, I'm just the DJ." &c. &c. Nice work there :-)
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:46, Reply)

'I just work here mate'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:53, Reply)

Are you coming to the bash?
My co-DJ is the MC5 film chap.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 10:55, Reply)

Cool - I shall factor that in

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 11:22, Reply)