Duck thread is dead
What do you guys and gals not understand that is simple for others?

Electricity is like magic string to me - I understand the concepts but it DOES NOT COMPUTE in my mind.

Alt:
Non-internet based work distractions
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 13:46, 203 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

What's with the sudden "big X" usernames?

( Kroney, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 13:47, Reply)

it's a reference to "big jim" somethingorother
who was one of the pikey salve owners.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 14 Sep 2011, 13:50, Reply)

Is there some sort of gyppo ointment ring going on that I don't know about?

( Kroney, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 13:51, Reply)

To Be Sure of making it better?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 13:51, Reply)

There is such a thing as Google dude.
But, as I know you're not that technically minded: www.globalpost.com/dispatch/news/regions/europe/united-kingdom/110911/uk-police-24-slaves-greenacre-travelers

Edit: Bollocks, see what you mean. *resists urge to ninja*
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 14 Sep 2011, 13:52, Reply)

Wakka, wakka, wakka!

( Kroney, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 13:56, Reply)

It soothes the tarmac burns.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 13:52, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1353116
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 13:50, Reply)

Social interaction. /autism
Well, specifically having to be nice or even polite to people I do not know or like. I'm fine down the pub or with friends, but there is a reason I try hard never to be customer facing.

Alt: extended toilet breaks playing poker on my phone.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 14 Sep 2011, 13:49, Reply)

Poker face innit
I have to deal with some right fucking numpties
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 13:52, Reply)

I can do it.
I just really really do not enjoy it. If it was my job I'd be off with stress in a week.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 14 Sep 2011, 13:54, Reply)

What do you actually do then?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 13:55, Reply)

Stuff.
Sometimes other stuff. I usually say I work 'in with computers' which is literally true. I do behind the scenes technical stuff, basically setting up and supporting test/dev environments for a company that makes specialised software. I Professionally have to talk to customers on the phone and very rarely to deal with them in person.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 14 Sep 2011, 13:58, Reply)

Fair do

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 13:58, Reply)

Meh, I'm fairly good at it and it pays well enough.
Not exactly fun but I don't hate it, mostly.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:05, Reply)

I think this sums up a lot of people's jobs on here

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:07, Reply)

that and the ability to piss about on the 'net at work.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:26, Reply)

Space.
The infinity of space spins me the fuck out.

Non-internet work based distractions. Well, I spent far too long on Monday staring out the window at The London Eye wondering how big a hamster it would need to make it go round. My conclusion was 'fucking massive'
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 13:50, Reply)

I like this
Both parts
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 13:51, Reply)

Space isn't infinite, it's just very big

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 13:52, Reply)

Cheers poo Hawking

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 13:54, Reply)

I don't understand the shape of it though
apparently you can never fly to the edge of space, you just keep going
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 13:55, Reply)

infinitely?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 13:56, Reply)

nope, the way it was explained to me, it's like the game Asteroids
only instead of going off one side and appearing on another, you just never leave it
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 13:57, Reply)

Like walking round the outside of a ping pong ball, you can just go forever.
Although it would have to be a big ping pong ball. Bigger than the fucking massive hamster that works The London Eye.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 13:58, Reply)

That is big

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:00, Reply)

4 dimensional sphere, innit?

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 14 Sep 2011, 13:58, Reply)

oh of course, how silly of me
?
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 13:59, Reply)

It's like a doughnut.
Full of jam
( Kroney, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:01, Reply)

mmmm, universe jam

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:01, Reply)

And you can put your cock through the hole.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:01, Reply)

OK, I'll have a crack, but I'm not a scientist.
Say you were a 2 dimensional being (basically up and down did not exist for you) and you lived on a 3 dimensional sphere. You could travel forever in the 2 dimensions you existed in and never reach an end, only back where you came from.

This does not make the sphere infinite, just finite in a direction you cannot perceive or travel in.

So use that analogy for yourself as a three dimensional being (as you are) and the universe as a 4 dimensional sphere. It's not infinite, but in a direction we can't/dont 'do'.

This may all be bollocks.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:04, Reply)

I'm beginning to think scarpe had a point

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:10, Reply)

But that's my confusion.
If it's infinite I can't get my head round it, and if it's not infinite, what the hell is on the other side?
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 13:56, Reply)

exactly
that brian cox thing was cool, apparently the centre of the universe is a supermassive blackhole with galaxies spinning around it several times a minute
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 13:58, Reply)

Great, now I'm confused about the centre of the universe as well as the outside.
If, indeed, an outside even exists.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:04, Reply)

The "Clayverse"

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:05, Reply)

ooh, can we visit Wallace & Gromit?
because I'd really like to stamp on them.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:06, Reply)

AND, and..... some people have a system on Deal Or No Deal or Roulette, but it's random every time.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:50, Reply)

Depends on your definition.
And space and the "universe" are different.
The argument for the universe being infinate is that its self generating so even though there is an edge you can never meet it because just going there pushes it further.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:04, Reply)

At which point my head explodes.
Because this feels deeply unsatisfying. What is it expanding into?
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:05, Reply)

Kittenland

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:06, Reply)

Now you're just confusing me with your Clayverses and Kittenlands.
I am begining to suspect you are not a real scientist after all.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:07, Reply)

I didn't say I was!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:14, Reply)

Well don't come in here
with all your white coat and clipboard and ticking things off if you don't want me to think you are a scientist.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:15, Reply)

*undresses*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:17, Reply)

It's not expanding into anything. It's just expanding.
For anything to exist, there has to be a something. Outside of the universe, there isn't a something, therefore there's no anything.

I appreciate that this won't help much.
( Kroney, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:08, Reply)

I think I need to go and lay down with a damp towel on my forehead.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:10, Reply)

basically space is a circle
if you step out of the circle a man in a pointy hat pokes you back in with a stick
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:14, Reply)

At least that I understand.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:17, Reply)

Just think of it like how Mummy and Daddy used to treat you

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:20, Reply)

It all kind of rests on whether you can wrap your head around the concept that it's only infinite
to human perception. Like Comrade was saying, if you couldn't look up to see the sky, you could walk on the Earth forever, thinking it was all there was. The only thing that lets us see that the Earth isn't all there is because we can see the sky and the stars and stuff.

We can't see beyond the universe because we can't perceive the stuff beyond it. We can't travel in it and therefore, to us, it's infinite. Or at least so close to infinite given our current science that we can't see the end.
( Kroney, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:22, Reply)

And I think that's my problem
forcing my brain to accept the concept. It just won't 'stay'. I always think I've understood the theory and then suddenly, BANG! my head just forces it out again to be replaced by something akin to 'Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck'
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:28, Reply)

It's bigger than Dorking, Poo Hawking

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:13, Reply)

But not as attractive for property investment

( Kroney, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:19, Reply)

"The back garden goes on FOREVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr............."

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:20, Reply)

I think I laughed at this because I'm hungover.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:20, Reply)

I have a powerball I like to make whizzy noises with sometimes.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 13:51, Reply)

Which bit does this answer "BIG AL"?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 13:54, Reply)

The alt.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:01, Reply)

Basic self control, in all matters.
A selection from the following:
a) money
b) intoxicants
c) assessing the propriety of jokes and comments
d) being really cool and hot chicks really fancying me and that
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:08, Reply)

I do not understand the concept of having money
but having to save it to spend on something specific. Got cash? Great! *fritters*

Alt - usually what I'd do if I won the lottery or what I'm going to have for dinner.
(berk, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:11, Reply)

Pea or spam?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:15, Reply)

78.2% of offtopic right there

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:17, Reply)

Banana, actually.

(berk, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:19, Reply)

ALT: a fascination with Raoul Moat.

I even managed to visit Rothbury on honeymoon a couple of months ago.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:13, Reply)

Raoul Moat?
I've never even heard of Raoul Castle.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:14, Reply)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2010_Northumbria_Police_manhunt
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:15, Reply)

THAT'S THE JO......

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:16, Reply)

Sorry, it was just a bad joke.
I know who Raoul Moat is. He played for Spurs with Gazza.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:16, Reply)

for Spurs fishing
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:19, Reply)

haha!
*tasers*
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:15, Reply)

I used to work for a company that provided IT support to the Taser company that illegally supplied the police with the tasers they used on Raoul Moat
MORE MOAT FACTS AS THEY COME IN
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:16, Reply)

If indeed they are facts

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:16, Reply)

That's excellent Murty facts.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:16, Reply)

I did lol when he managed to fail to shoot himself under the chin
and had to try again in the temple. I mean, its not like he was trying to aim in the tiny space between his eyes
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:18, Reply)

As did I.
What a fucking dunce.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:24, Reply)

How on earth can you fail so badly at blowing your own head off that you are un-injured enough to be able to try again?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:26, Reply)

How could he have missed that massive potato head?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:30, Reply)

He needed to put his "aiming eyes" on

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:34, Reply)

The police had never received training on how to use a tazer
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tyne-14914425
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:23, Reply)

I read the other day
that whilst he was on the run and living in that storm drain he survived on dead mice.

I'm sure they were easier to eat than live ones.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:16, Reply)

V lols

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:16, Reply)

The inquest is taking place at the moment.
Tempted to see if I can get in to the court to watch some of it and laugh inappropriately, but I expect it isn't open to the public.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:22, Reply)

Cover yourself in fake tan, wear an orange t shirt and sit in the gallery with a cage of mice.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:24, Reply)

Needs MOAR steroids

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:25, Reply)

I will also take a fishing rod and a bucket of fried chicken.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:26, Reply)

The court is about 2 mins away from where I'm sitting now
I may pop down tomorrow and find out
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:24, Reply)

Please do and let me know.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:25, Reply)

I'm currently waiting for a man to send me about thirty photos on individual e-mails
why can't people understand about compression.

Also this:
xkcd.com/949/

Is even more pertinent now.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:29, Reply)

Oh man IT humour is just so funny.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:31, Reply)

Then I threw a 4 and a 6.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:33, Reply)

Taking the piss out of an IT joke with a Red Dwarf/Risk reference?
Class.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:38, Reply)

Irony, innit.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:41, Reply)

Ahh, the excuse for all truly shit comedy.
I swear if Jim Davidson could convince people he was being 'ironic' he would still be in work today.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:48, Reply)

Whereas compression data humour is cutting edge.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:49, Reply)

Like I say, it's funny if you have anything to do with computers.
I don't claim it's universal (although some of his stuff is(and some's too geeky for me)) but it's good for it's intended audience.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:55, Reply)

No it isn't, my superiorly billeted friend.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:57, Reply)

Jim Davidson is never out of work.
And he's an author now too:

www.jimdavidson.org.uk/shop/books/joined-at-the-hip-novel/
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:54, Reply)

There is no god.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:55, Reply)

It's a good read actually.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:57, Reply)

You dropped this (!)

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:36, Reply)

Well it is to IT people
who probably form the largest single minority on here. they/we probably outnumber football fans.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:36, Reply)

But we are tough and you are cunts.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:38, Reply)

YEAAAHHHH.
*administers wedgie and bogwash to nerds*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:38, Reply)

This hardnuts lunch is gonna be on orgy of violence in it's purest form.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:40, Reply)

When I kick your fucking arse, it is.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:40, Reply)

This is going to be so much fun.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:50, Reply)

Leave it Al, the cant ain't wourf it.
Just eat your ruby. Fack 'im.

Srsly, looking forward to it, sweetheart.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:53, Reply)

It'll be like two dead fish feebly nudging each other

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:55, Reply)

*turn's off Stunned's internet*

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:39, Reply)

Possibly if you weren't so limp wristed.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:40, Reply)

Possibly if I actually worked in IT, had the skills and was vindictive.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:41, Reply)

DO IT!!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:43, Reply)

Do what exactly?
Get a job in IT and study to become a l337 Hax0r just to cut of your internet? it would be funny, but probably simpler just to tell /OT that you picked on my wife.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:46, Reply)

Your wife?
Poor bitch.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:48, Reply)

I no longer have one.
this was a joke. Evidently either it was crap or you are dense.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:56, Reply)

Both.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:58, Reply)

sounds fair.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 14 Sep 2011, 15:01, Reply)

Question to you grammatic type people
Is it "Assessment criteria have been generated" or "Assessment criteria has been generated". I am generating assessment criterion for two different compounds.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:37, Reply)

have.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:38, Reply)

The assessment criteria have been I'm a wanker generated

(PsychoChomp, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:38, Reply)

Awesome.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:39, Reply)

Criteria is plural, innit?

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:39, Reply)

Sing. Criterion.
Like the theatre.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:41, Reply)

indeed.
Glad to know you have educated your self in an attempt to rise from the gutter.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:42, Reply)

The only downside arising from my meteoric
rise is that I don't get to fuck your mum anymore.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:45, Reply)

She'll be relieved.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:47, Reply)

By tramps.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:47, Reply)

Meh, it'll be a step up for her.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:57, Reply)

Have - criteria is plural

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:41, Reply)

Thought so
Word can fuck off.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:43, Reply)

Word? Turd more like.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:47, Reply)

Bobby?
What did he ever do to you?
( Kroney, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:48, Reply)

He bummed me at cub camp.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:55, Reply)

Do keep up Montgomery.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:43, Reply)

How some people, who to me seem completely unattractive and actually quite repulsive, manage to have girlfriends or wives....
.... yet I'm not _bad_ looking, quite funny, kind, likes to look after people, great cook.... and nobody is willing to go out with me.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:54, Reply)

Man up, Gonz.
You won't pull with that attitude.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:56, Reply)

Oh no, this wasn't a OH WOE IS ME thing, I really don't care in the slightest that I'm single.
It's more the fact that other people manage it and I don't.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:57, Reply)

Like it's a basic human interaction that I seem to be missing and I'm not sure how or why.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:58, Reply)

Try and meet more people?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:59, Reply)

Every time I change my social circles, it seems to be the same thing, so I'm not sure that's it.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 15:02, Reply)

And this leads to the conclusion that....

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 15:04, Reply)

Text every girl in your phonebook with "hey I was just wondering why we haven't had sex yet?"
Might work.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 15:05, Reply)

Like someone with autisim who can't work out sarcasam, they understand the principles of it, they know its that you exasorate the truth (or the oppersite of it) in order to debunk the origional fact.
But still can't tell a sarcastic joke that other people seem to be able to get.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 14:59, Reply)

(!)

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 15:01, Reply)

Bubbleship autism.
Out of controooooool!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 15:03, Reply)

Women can smell desperation (or a willingness to please)
from a thousand miles away.

Remember, women REALLY do like bastards.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 15:00, Reply)

But the thing is, I don't wanna be with someone who'll regret being with me...
... which seems to be quite a key thing in young relationships.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 15:05, Reply)

Gonna happen.
Just how you deal with it when it does.

You can sort these things once together but the original attraction "thing" is outlined by my learned colleague Kroney below.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 15:07, Reply)

There is a high degree of truth in this.
Certainly in the 1st statement, less so in the 2nd statement, but I understand why you said it.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 14 Sep 2011, 15:07, Reply)

Just my experience I suppose.
True to me.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 15:09, Reply)

I think it's more true to say that women like men who're complete cunts to everyone
except them.

At heart they're all massive egotists that want to feel like the centre of somebody's universe.
( Kroney, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 15:10, Reply)

Or be worn like a pinky ring.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 15:12, Reply)

But what is the centre of the universe?

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 15:13, Reply)

I thought we sorted this out earlier
Jam or Kroney's cock
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 15:15, Reply)

I don't think I'd like sugar under the lid of my helmet

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 14 Sep 2011, 15:17, Reply)

What's the difference between jam and marmalade?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 15:19, Reply)

I can't marmalade my cock into your Mum

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 15:19, Reply)

Hahaha!
My dead Mum?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 15:21, Reply)

Yeah
Stiffens up the old flaps
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 15:21, Reply)

You're nice, but lacking in confidence.
Confidence and a certain degree of arrogant twattery seems to help. I can't do it either, so I mesmerise them with my tache.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 14 Sep 2011, 15:00, Reply)

Or money.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 14 Sep 2011, 15:00, Reply)

It _is_ a mighty fine bit of facial hair you've got.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 15:05, Reply)

Musketeer-esque

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 15:16, Reply)

I didn't think we'd met.
But you're not a girl, so I may have forgotten.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 14 Sep 2011, 15:18, Reply)

Facebook profile, good sir

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 15:18, Reply)

Ah, yes, of course.
Most of the pics of me on there are less than flattering. IRL I make Kroney look weak and imperfect.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 14 Sep 2011, 15:20, Reply)

Yes, if I ever shave I shall loose my irresistible attraction to women.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 14 Sep 2011, 15:16, Reply)

It always works the same way. Initial physical attraction followed by personality traits that keep them engaged.
Women seem to be attracted to guys that they think they can win over. Whether it's the bastard that they've convinced themselves is soft on the inside or the arrogant twat they think will change.

They're really very odd, you know.

And then they have the cheek to call us shallow because we're mostly just interested in boobs. At least we're honest, damn it!!!!!!!!(!)!!111one
( Kroney, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 15:04, Reply)

At least we are consistently shit.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 15:05, Reply)

BBC and Rob again
www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-14898564?postId=110267315#comment_110267315
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 15:31, Reply)

Wow, Dom Joly is a troll slayer
I'd happily tell him that nothing he has done since Trigger Happy TV has been remotely close to being funny.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 14 Sep 2011, 15:40, Reply)