Fuck it, bored, new thread time.
Having had to spend a whole hour 'training' some people (if you can call giving a brief run down of part of you job to some people training)on Wednesday people keep telling me how well it apparently went and asking me if I enjoyed it. This fills me with a vague sense of dread that they will try to make me do more of it.

What's filling you with a vague sense of dread at the moment?

Alt: What's the one pointless luxury you spend more money on than is reasonable?

AltAlt: Anyone play poker? I quite enjoy a bit of Texas Hold 'em but can't ever seem to find enough people interested to get a game together.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 16 Sep 2011, 12:19, 132 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Dread and excitement maybe.
My dad is definitley selling up in a year or two. The world will be my oyster.

Alt: My gym membership for all the good it's doing me.
( girlinthehole, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 12:27, Reply)

The business?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 16 Sep 2011, 12:29, Reply)

Yup!
I shall be free, free at last.
( girlinthehole, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 12:30, Reply)

Cool

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 12:32, Reply)

Of course it will eventually mean having to get a new job and work hard for a living.

( girlinthehole, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 12:33, Reply)

There is this minor quibble, true.
What would you do initially though?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 16 Sep 2011, 12:38, Reply)

My guess is "Your wife, relentlessly".

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 12:38, Reply)

Pfft! she's like a sister to me.
Albeit a sexy norktastic one.
( girlinthehole, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 12:44, Reply)

Very true.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 12:46, Reply)

Visit my friend in New Zealand firstly.
After that who knows.
( girlinthehole, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 12:39, Reply)

Oh yes, your artist friend, she is very nice.
And you were going to give me her E-mail address so I could buy one of her pictures, but you forgot.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 12:44, Reply)

Sorry!
I will do it now. Give me a minute.
( girlinthehole, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 12:46, Reply)

Free to travel the world
Seducing innocent young men and getting facial tattoos.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 16 Sep 2011, 12:34, Reply)

tattoo
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 12:36, Reply)

I wouldn't know how to seduce anyone.
I hear rohypnol is where it's at.
( girlinthehole, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 12:37, Reply)

Unleash the norks
Problem solved
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 12:38, Reply)

I would prefer to seduce by wit and charm rather than resort to flashing my tits.
Hence my problems.
( girlinthehole, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 12:43, Reply)

what problems? Thought you were sorted now?
'sorted'lolz
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 12:57, Reply)

Sort of : )

( girlinthehole, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 13:04, Reply)

Oh good, you move in with me, I have a flatmate, you're nearer your BF, the washing up gets done and I get to cook for you...
... basicly a win-win all round, but most importantly, it's a win for me. How does next week sound?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 14:18, Reply)

I can steadily feel my breakfast wanting to repeat on me, I am not happy about this.
Alt: Probably bread, I only ever buy Warburtons Toastie.

Alt Alt: Nope.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 12:35, Reply)

Warburtons toastie is hardly a luxery item.

( girlinthehole, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 12:37, Reply)

I know
I don't tend to buy luxuries though, I'm more than happy to buy value stuff. Warburtons is the only brand I insist on.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 12:38, Reply)

Tell that to my slaves.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 12:38, Reply)

AltAlt: I used to play online a lot
But I'm terrible against real people. I might just as well hand them my wallet at the start of the evening.

_{do you think he's buying it? I think he's buying it}
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 12:47, Reply)

I only play on-line these days
And I'm shit there. I don't mind being shit in person so much because I enjoy the game more.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 16 Sep 2011, 13:11, Reply)

We play every couple of months in person
it's frustrating because the rest of them don't play "properly" like the books and televised games advise. But I've learnt to live with that and adjust my game and I do quite well against them now.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 13:17, Reply)

Ha Ha!
You are the kind of player I love to play against. I know full well how I should play, but if I did that you'd be able to guess what cards I have and I'd miss the joy of winding you up.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 16 Sep 2011, 13:42, Reply)

Sitting around a table with players who flat-call almost every bet
except when you want them to, can get pretty annoying.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 14:15, Reply)

Dread and excitement
I have a performance development review coming up and every year I worry that this will be the year my boss notices I spend 3/4 of my time fucking about. Fortunately his only standard to judge me against is my co-worker who is by several orders of magnitude the worst coder I have ever worked with.

Alt: Eating out; if I go out for a meal on my own I'm far more likely to go to a French Restaurant for a three course meal than a pub for a burger.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 12:52, Reply)

I play poker fairly often, usually only a fiver.
It can be quite difficult to get the right number of people though, there's usually far too many people who want to come over so I sometimes have a second and third game going.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 12:52, Reply)

This is me smugly telling you that I'm more popular than you.
Thought I should point that out.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 12:55, Reply)

Changed my sig to keep reminding you.
hope that helps.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 12:59, Reply)

Yes, it's OK, I got your subtle hint
I'm not bothered, crap things are often more popular than excellent things, see pretty much all popular music and most television.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 16 Sep 2011, 13:13, Reply)

The Elton John Paradox, that's called*.
Where the popularity of something is inversely proportional to its merit.

Example: I watched an excellent documentary on the Samurai last night. Two million other people watched some caterwauling simpleton murdering an already dismal power-ballad type song, crying, and then being 'voted off'.

I expect.

*it is now I've invented it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 13:27, Reply)

It would be simpler if it were universal, sometimes a good thing of 2 scrapes through.
A bit like how some of the stuff you hate is actually shit.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 16 Sep 2011, 13:37, Reply)

Jimi Hendrix was immensely popular.
Sometimes the masses get it right. But almost never.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 13:48, Reply)

Rocket man is good.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 13:37, Reply)

Tend to agree
I bet the shit version of Candle in The Wind sold more though.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 16 Sep 2011, 13:40, Reply)

I will say I prefer the Shatner version though.
Se also Mr Tamberine Man.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 16 Sep 2011, 13:44, Reply)

And Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds, rendered almost listenable by the Shat-meister.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 13:47, Reply)

He's going wonderfully mad at the moment.
He gave an interview about how shit Star Wars was the other day and he said the only way to solve the star wars/star trek animosity was for him to fuck Carrie Fisher.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 13:49, Reply)

Thank's not madness, that's genius.
I'm going to see if I can fine that interview on youtube
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 16 Sep 2011, 13:50, Reply)

I myself am prepared to do this thing for the good of nerds the world over.
The needs of the many etc.

^SPASTIC NERD JOKE
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 13:52, Reply)

We accept you, one of us.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 16 Sep 2011, 14:08, Reply)

Mr Boyce, you have rare taste
The closing cry on Mr Tambourine Man, however really embodies for me the true psychedelic horror of a bad trip, it speaks to me on a much deeper level.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 16 Sep 2011, 13:49, Reply)

I know precisely what you mean.
His plaintive cry simply screams 'heeeeeeeelppppp'...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 13:53, Reply)

Completely unrelated but I seem to finally be getting somewhere regarding my mobile phone.
After a fortnight of being relentlessly fobbed off by Vodafone, they have finally pointed me in the right direction, via Carphone Warehouse and finally e2save, who are offering me either a return to my previous tariff, or a new phone, or a complete cancellation and renewal free of charge.

Now all I have to do is decide which of these options I want.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 16 Sep 2011, 12:52, Reply)

Can you transfer?
Not sure of the whole story, but I dumped O2 after being ceremonially fucked around for a couple of months and straight onto a much cheaper plan with the help of www.omio.com/
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 13:00, Reply)

I can transfer if I want as well.
I'm on Vodafone and to be honest, it seems to have the best coverage and I've been quite happy with them in that respect. Their customer service has been shit, but it transpires I shouldn't have been talking to them in the first place. Basically I got an upgraded handset that actually wasn't and ended up paying a fiver a month more for exactly the same package as I was on previously, which I didn't agree to. I thought I was simply upgrading the handset and staying on my existing price plan. E2save have been very helpful.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 16 Sep 2011, 13:25, Reply)

My CV

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 12:58, Reply)

Oh God!!! a CV : (
I hope I have an old one somewhere or else I'm going to have to fanny about trying to work out my history from waaaaaaaaaaaaaay back.
( girlinthehole, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 13:00, Reply)

I need to do one as well, I suppose.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 16 Sep 2011, 13:28, Reply)

We all wish you would.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 13:42, Reply)

I like how no-one has backed you up on this statement.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 16 Sep 2011, 14:23, Reply)

It was quite amusing
but we don't like to encourage him.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 16 Sep 2011, 14:37, Reply)

alright benders and quendists?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 13:07, Reply)

Alright dog-kicker?

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 16 Sep 2011, 13:14, Reply)

not bad.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 13:14, Reply)

Now we have a dog kicker and a dog fucker??

( girlinthehole, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 13:19, Reply)

Yeah, except Jeff doesn't actually fuck dogs.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 16 Sep 2011, 13:21, Reply)

He just gives them a good rimming from time to time.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 16 Sep 2011, 13:26, Reply)

Hand on heart, who among us can say we haven't done this from time to time?
-- Paul Robinson
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 14:41, Reply)

Opening my post
Alt: no comment, move along please, nothing to see here.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 13:19, Reply)

I actually looked at bottles of Hennesy XO online to see how much they cost.
Oh how I lolled.
( girlinthehole, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 13:20, Reply)

You and the manager of NatWest Bank, Winchester branch.
And about ten other lenders.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 13:25, Reply)

Well it was quickly crossed of my Monty's birthday present list.

( girlinthehole, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 13:30, Reply)

Hahaha fuck yes.
Back to plan A: 'a cheeky nosh', then.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 13:34, Reply)

Ayup!

( girlinthehole, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 13:35, Reply)

Or the Best of Bowie CD.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 16 Sep 2011, 13:35, Reply)

I've bagsied that idea.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 16 Sep 2011, 13:39, Reply)

But that leaves me with only a Pink Floyd mini-disc idea

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 13:43, Reply)

But that leaves me with only a Pink Floyd mini-disc idea

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 13:43, Reply)

I'm getting four of them?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 13:45, Reply)

You're hardly in a position to complain about multiple posting.
BTW, I has a book for you really, have no fear.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 16 Sep 2011, 13:46, Reply)

I know - it's been terrible for it this week.
What makes me laugh is the way people are judged on it like they're idiots, for what is clearly a technical hitch you have no control over.

Re: btw, bless your heart, sir.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 13:50, Reply)

Yeah, it can be mildly funny though.
I was about to send iot to the charity shop ad 'OK, but not my thing' and I thought "I know who'd like this, Monty" I may be very wrong, but it'll cost me nada.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 16 Sep 2011, 13:52, Reply)

Only two now

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 13:51, Reply)

There's always U2

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 16 Sep 2011, 13:45, Reply)

I have several
I suppose Set Your Faeces to Stunned should get one too, in the interests of not having tears before bedtime.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 13:44, Reply)

c-c-c-c-c-c-combo breaker!

(PsychoChomp, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 13:44, Reply)

too slow, chompy.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 13:48, Reply)

Alt alt: No.
I don't enjoy games, and am almost entirely risk-averse and consequently do not have a gambling bone in my body.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 13:22, Reply)

What about hide the sausage?

( girlinthehole, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 13:22, Reply)

OK but we'll have to make it quick.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 13:23, Reply)

*hopes it's a bratwurst*

( girlinthehole, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 13:29, Reply)

*Roger Moore eyebrow*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 13:33, Reply)

I can see they don't call you 'Big' Monty Boyce for nothing.

( girlinthehole, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 13:34, Reply)

*adjusts tie*
*hops into white Lotus*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 13:35, Reply)

*lifts eyebrow*

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 13:49, Reply)

I had you down as more of a shirt lifter, old boy.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 13:57, Reply)

I consider that an artform rather than a game anyway.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 13:24, Reply)

That's only a gamble when you're playing it in down Old Compton Street

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 13:28, Reply)

^ voice of experience lolz

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 13:35, Reply)

Alt: Comics.
Holy fucking lord, comics. All that money I should be saving by no longer drinking or smoking just goes on comics I think. As a friend said "Addictions are like fucking Whack-A-Mole, you focus on one and another one pops up somewhere else".

I play a little online Poker, but only when I'm really bored.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 13:44, Reply)

I appear to have deleted half my answer
The first part used to say that I am excited because I just saw on The Guardian website that Shaun Ryder has an autobiography coming out.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 13:46, Reply)

My brother's old flatmate is his drugs counsellor.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 13:50, Reply)

*is totally unsurprised*

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 16 Sep 2011, 13:53, Reply)

Apparently he's 'really into cycling'.
Sweating his tits off in a bad tracksuit, riding a cheap Halfords mountain bike, on the roads.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 13:54, Reply)

Wonderful
Just what we need on our roads.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 16 Sep 2011, 14:01, Reply)

I don't think he goes fast enough to be any trouble.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 14:05, Reply)

Ha!

( girlinthehole, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 14:07, Reply)

What's that thing were everyone is only 4 steps removed from someone else or something.
That's Monty that is.
( girlinthehole, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 13:55, Reply)

6 degrees of seperation.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 13:59, Reply)

I am Kevin Bacon AICMFP

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 13:59, Reply)

Do you even have £5?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 14:04, Reply)

Well, he's not wearing any Sunday shoes
..so he could sell them.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 14:05, Reply)

I can tell you
I am going to fucking 'kick off' in a minute.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 14:11, Reply)

You're going to kick off about something that small?
You really are a (foot)loose cannon.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 14:16, Reply)

Good lord
That is dreadful.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 14:17, Reply)

She herself has some, ah, experience of his, ah, predilections....
They've both fallen off the wagon together a couple of times.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 13:55, Reply)

'counsellor' riiiiight.
Actually, I don't know why I said that, i have no reason to doubt his sobriety these days.

edit: Apart from the fact he has fallen off the wagon a couple of times, apparently.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 13:59, Reply)

He's about 50/50 I understand.
As with me, he starts getting stupid ideas at about pint number four.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 14:01, Reply)

I used to get stupid idea about pint number four too.
Such as "I think I'll have pint number five now"
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 14:03, Reply)

We need a proper scientific term for this. How about:
Double Point, n: The point of inflection in a drinking session's trajectory when a participant's alcoholic bravado overwhelms their sober judgement.
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 14:11, Reply)

or 'first sip'
in my case by that definition.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 14:12, Reply)

Ah ... unlucky.

(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 14:15, Reply)

'Ryder's Tipping Point'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 14:12, Reply)

saaaafe.

(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 14:16, Reply)

I told you it would be blue:
www.pocket-lint.com/news-gallery/42100/bt-tower-star-wars-lightsaber-pictures/5#image


Mind you, everyone who said it would shit was proven correct too.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 14:01, Reply)

YESSSSSSSS!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 14:01, Reply)

Are you speaking Python, Monty?

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 14:04, Reply)

No.
Are you?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 14:07, Reply)

Yesssssssssssssssss
wait, we've been here before I think.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 14:08, Reply)

Looks a bit less shit than I expected actually.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 16 Sep 2011, 14:06, Reply)

Contrary Fucking Mary.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 14:09, Reply)

Still crap
just about 10%less crap than I expected.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 16 Sep 2011, 14:13, Reply)

To be honest, i kinda like it anyway.
It's not much of a lightsaber, but I'm a sucker for bright lights and changing colours. I love it when they change the colours of the lights on The Eye too.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 14:16, Reply)

Alt: 3x2 rolo yoghurt desert things for £2.
Oh god, I love them so much, so so much. I think if I could find a women who's vergeygey was like going dowon a rolo yoghurt desert thing, then I think I can us the happiest people to ever be in existance or fiction.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 14:09, Reply)

a brown, sticky yoghurty vagina?
Rather you than me.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 14:09, Reply)

They're note very yoghurty, they're just in yoghurt pots.
Would help with the thrush though, wouldn't it?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 16 Sep 2011, 14:13, Reply)

Shit in her cunt
Sorted
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 16 Sep 2011, 14:41, Reply)