HI EVERYONE
How are you all? I haven't been here for ages, what have I missed?

Alt: (are we still insisting on alts) Where do you want the satellite to fall?
Edit: ffs talk about lunch then
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 12:34, 86 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

sympathy reply.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 12:35, Reply)

A wanker just had a wank AT WORK!!
Zany AND waki
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 12:41, Reply)

Yeah, where are all the good people?

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 12:46, Reply)

there were good people?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 12:49, Reply)

Yeah I used to go here religiously.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 12:53, Reply)

good point
there is an exception to every rule
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 12:54, Reply)

b3ta is not a religion
I'll be having nun of that talk.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 12:55, Reply)

*sigh*

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 12:56, Reply)

You coming to the Boyce/Stunned b4sh?
There'll be no end of sweaty palmed strangers being awkward at each other.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 12:58, Reply)

Nope soz
Who's going?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 12:58, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/calendar/event/23658
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 23 Sep 2011, 13:00, Reply)

Aww, should be good.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 13:04, Reply)

I can't make it unfortunately.
Well, I couldn't at the time. I probably could now, but the cost of train tickets will be ridiculous now. The missus is going though.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 23 Sep 2011, 13:05, Reply)

I wonder what monty's DJing will actually be like?

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 13:07, Reply)

Actually quite
good. He played a good mix when I went to Boyce Towers.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 13:09, Reply)

I bet he doesn't do requests.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 13:09, Reply)

He used to before requests became mainstream.
He hates them now.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 13:13, Reply)

Just think of somebody you've never fucking heard of.
I'm sure he'll play it.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 23 Sep 2011, 13:14, Reply)

Just throw a bunch of words together and I'm sure it'll be a band Monty has an opinion on
like "Velvet Acid Christ" or "Neutral Milk Hotel" or "Big Audio Dynamite".
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 13:42, Reply)

Alright?
How's your placement going?

Alt: I'd be quite happy for it to land on Kelvin MacKenzie...
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 12:49, Reply)

Good thanks off sick today.
Is he the guy from the Sun?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 12:53, Reply)

*Elbows way through the thronging crowds*
I've got five minutes while a particularly stubborn saucepan steeps in the sink. I have a shitload of stuff to do today, more's the pity.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 23 Sep 2011, 12:54, Reply)

It's so busy here, I can barely keep up with the posts.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 12:55, Reply)

This has been what it's like for a while now.
So many people have dropped off the board lately.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 23 Sep 2011, 12:55, Reply)

I've heard that on the grape vine
What's the reason, is it because someone keeps telling everyone about their wanking habits?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 12:57, Reply)

To be honest, I have no idea.
I guess things change and move on. Considering I'm not working at the moment, I'd have thought I'd be here more often, but I'm not. Maybe people are just busy, or have got a bit bored.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 23 Sep 2011, 12:59, Reply)

It's because kitty and me don't post any more.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 13:02, Reply)

You might have a point.
Even Monty hasn't been here for a few days now.

*Sigh* back to the humdrum.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 23 Sep 2011, 13:04, Reply)

Is he dead yet?

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 13:04, Reply)

Not as far as I know.
It's only a matter of time, I guess.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 23 Sep 2011, 13:06, Reply)

How's being an important government microbiologist type working out?
Still enjoying your placement year or is Salisbury dull?
(berk, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 13:00, Reply)

Salisbury is very dull but the work and house are cool so it's ok thanks
how are you?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 13:00, Reply)

Yeah not bad
new job starts a week on Monday so excited/nervous about that.
(berk, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 13:02, Reply)

Gooooooood luuuuuuuck!

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 13:04, Reply)

I love Salisbury.
Needs MOAR restaurants.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 13:05, Reply)

In theory I should be in a fantastic mood.
I have two amazing work placements for next summer, one at the biggest advertising agency in the world, and my life is pretty dandy at this moment in time. However last night ruined me beyond words. On the plus side I got a really hot girl's number.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 13:00, Reply)

Why do you have 2?

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 13:03, Reply)

It's nothing to do with the university.
I don't need a placement, I got them of my own accord. One month at each, first one throughout July and the second throughout August.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 13:12, Reply)

Adverstising agency?
Nice to see you are doing something worthy of your education.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 13:06, Reply)

I worked there this summer and loved it.
They've got three floors in one of the buildings at Canary Wharf, the fact that every other office there belongs to a bank is quite telling as to how successful they are.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 13:13, Reply)

They are the worst sort of cunts though?
And that's up against some pretty stiff competition in Canary Wharf.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 13:15, Reply)

Yeah I know.
But I am a cunt, a massive one. Last night proved that. And as an absolutely amazing bonus, they all get to work in their own clothes. It's heaven for me.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 13:27, Reply)

As opposed to somebody elses?
Do they draw names out of a hat?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 13:43, Reply)

Sorry, I'm still young enough for the phrase own clothes to make sense.
You know what I meannnnnn though. Casual attire.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 13:45, Reply)

Advertising is a fucking wicked job, I loved when I worked for advertising agencies.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 13:23, Reply)

Cheers mate, I absolutely love it.
Although it's annoying that people assume I love it purely because of Mad Men etc.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 13:26, Reply)

I ain't seen MadMen, but it's such a creative job, and you have the potential for your work to be seen by millions of poeple.
What part of Advertising are you working in? I really like getting involved in the whole social networking side of things, as it has interactivity.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 13:31, Reply)

Print advertising I think.
Well that's what I told them I'd like to do.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 13:44, Reply)

Cool, what part do you want to play in? I mean, design, ideas, project management (etc) ?
I find the brainstorming section when coming up with those sorts of ideas fasinating and really fun.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 14:02, Reply)

yeah, but it is for cunts, though.
Gonz, should I get the new macbook air or is another one due out soon?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 14:00, Reply)

The next announcement is on the 4th of Oct, apparently, I very much doubt they'll update the Air.
The last release was 20th June, you're fine to buy one now. Go for the 13" model for the higher res screen though.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 14:08, Reply)

Obviously. How can I even consider dwarf goat porn on an 11" screen?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 14:24, Reply)

It's only an inch less than an A4 magazine, and they seem to do.
Mind you, to a man like me, an inch counts for everything.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 14:29, Reply)

Shit.
As for the satellite, aim it at Jan Moir.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Fri 23 Sep 2011, 13:11, Reply)

I liked it when they sent Liz Jones to Simarlia and she complained because she couldn't get inoculations on the day on the NHS and her private doctor in Harley Street needed more notice.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 13:23, Reply)

She's such a bitch.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 13:37, Reply)

Reply to my gaz bitch!

(PsychoChomp, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 13:36, Reply)

No

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 13:57, Reply)

gonz has my new Empire arrived I forgot to change the address
Can you bring it to Monty's bash? Or will you forget? I'm going to steal a pug and if you forget to bring it I'm going to iron its face
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 13:37, Reply)

Gonz has a whole empire for you? what is it? Roman? Persian?
That's well sweet. Can I have a go of your empire after you? I promise only to use it for evil?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 13:58, Reply)

ok then
but try not to kill too many of my minions
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 14:05, Reply)

HELLO !
I'm loanly, move back in. It's not arrived yet, but I'll keep an eye out =D
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 14:02, Reply)

ha
I am never moving again. Stupid stairs.

You should advertise outsode of b3ta, maybe on a website where people are looking for a room... then you may get a lovely new housemate
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 14:06, Reply)

Hah, yeah', I'm thinking about setting fire to the flat and claiming on the insurnace when I move...
... although it's probably really stupid to say that in case the flat does catch on fire, but hopefully this sentance will convince the insurance company that I'm joking.

Nah', I'm looking at a place on saturday which Ma' saw today which seems really really good... I could be in there by this time next month, if all goes to plan, it's in Enf Town, so I don't think you'd like it, but it goes straight into Kings Cross in 25 mins, so it's actually closer to london if you think about distance as the time it takes you to get somewhere. Although I really like flatmates, in this new place I won't _need_ to have one, but can still get one if I wanted too.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 14:11, Reply)

Maybe you could make a flatmate out of empty chinese food containers and yop bottles

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 14:27, Reply)

Badger!

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 23 Sep 2011, 14:28, Reply)

DG!
And Badger!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 14:31, Reply)

Alright Beekers?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 23 Sep 2011, 14:31, Reply)

Not bad ta!
This time next week I'll be full of noodles in Camden. I like this muchly.
How's yourself?
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 14:32, Reply)

OK. Been a definite improvement in stuff lately.
Pity I can't make Monty's bash, but there you go. And this time tomorrow we'll have a Blousie, so looking forward to the weekend.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 23 Sep 2011, 14:36, Reply)

Glad it's getting better matey.
Yay! A Blousie makes everything good.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 14:37, Reply)

Indeed. I should probably go and do some stuff now. The place is a tip.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 23 Sep 2011, 14:40, Reply)

Have a good 'un
Give her a hug from me. And give your good lady one as well.

A hug, obviously.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 14:42, Reply)

oh n oes did I miss Pa?
PA I'M SORRY I MISSED YOU!!

Hey pickleface how the devil are you?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 14:48, Reply)

I'm still here, just.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 23 Sep 2011, 14:50, Reply)

slacker! go do some cleaning
:p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 14:52, Reply)

I'm not Gonz!
I've already done the dishes, now there's a heap load of ironing to do. Unfortunately it would mean also subjecting myself to Gilmore Girls so I'm waiting until she goes up the street before I tackle that lot.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 23 Sep 2011, 14:53, Reply)

ahahaha
Aren't you well trained!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 15:06, Reply)

Fine thanks, Badgerface!
I demand weekend gets here quicker though.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 15:04, Reply)

I have to work saturday
*sad badger face*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 15:07, Reply)

*seriously paranoid now*

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 14:29, Reply)

Have you already done that?
Have you named him Harold?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 14:49, Reply)

Oh Applebite, you go away for ages then you come back and kill /offtopic
Alt: Where it can do the least harm. In the middle of a large desert perhaps?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 13:43, Reply)

She's shit isn't she?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 13:43, Reply)

Do you know what I mean, right?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 13:44, Reply)

Very little.
Some puns. Probably at least one epic Bertdown. Wanking. Usual stuff.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 23 Sep 2011, 13:56, Reply)