We are apparently getting the mini Ape christened
which means I will have to "When you bring your child for baptism, you will be asked to declare publicly on behalf of your child that you believe in God and that you will bring your child up to follow Jesus."

this irks me hugely as even if God did exist then he is obviously a massive twat
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 10:57, 6 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

If only your child hadn't been born a massive sinner

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 10:59, Reply)

I NO RITE!
"Sorry sweetie, it's hell and damnation for you LOL!!"
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 11:02, Reply)

Unless...
A man in a dress washes your sin away*





*The church and its associates take no responsibilty for any "inappropriate touching" that may take place during sin-washing
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 11:04, Reply)

Been there, done that, have access to best school for children
A small lie in the house of God for the greater good, right Jebus?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 10:59, Reply)

You're going to Hell
You will never sing wiv da angles.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 11:00, Reply)

I can't sing anyway
\m/
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 11:01, Reply)

Agree on a compromise
Have the baptism first, then slay the poor innocent in a sacrifice to Baal.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 11:01, Reply)

The voice of reason ^

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 11:02, Reply)

I'm wondering if there is some non toxic and invisible chemical i can smear on her forehesd
so it smokes when the water is added
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 11:03, Reply)

haha!
I like this
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 11:03, Reply)

I love chimcals, me.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 11:04, Reply)

I'm less keen on ninjas.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 11:04, Reply)

Phospherous
If you cover the nippers head in a silicon solution first.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 11:04, Reply)

That would be ace.
If you have to do a bit where you say "...so help me God" or something, say "By the power of the almighty Lord Of Flies, the Great God Satan.... I mean, so help me God. Sorry"
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 11:05, Reply)

Lithium
Absolutely nothing can go wrong if you use lithium.
( Kroney, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 11:06, Reply)

I like it.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 11:06, Reply)

Where would a self admittant drug abuser with ties to a comunity containing many patients with depressive-state mental disorders, get some lithium from?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 11:14, Reply)

Best incorporation of Monty's name into a username yet.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 11:16, Reply)

It really is.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 11:17, Reply)

I don't know what you mean, I am the real monty, look at this.
*perfectly normal voice, just a few octaves deeper*

"Hello, my name is monty, I like taking drugs and listening to music from musicians from the 70s such as Hawksmell and Iron Madmen. I hate my ex because she is a BUMLORD".

*ends voice*

See what I mean?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 11:25, Reply)

Monty loves Iron maiden, fact

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 11:27, Reply)

Well I'm convinced

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 11:30, Reply)

He is also a big fan of Judas Priest
he likes the snazzy costumes most of all.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 11:33, Reply)

He does bear an uncanny resemblance to Rob Halford, this is true.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 11:37, Reply)

Shit band.
Fact.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 11:42, Reply)

Potassium would be the most fun

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 11:09, Reply)

Be a man.
Tell your partner, or whoever's idea this is, that you will not start your career as a farther by being a hypocritical liar.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 11:02, Reply)

My kid got into a Catholic pre-school thing
by my ex telling them 'I could lie and claim Christian faith and take her to church etc but as a moral person who just happens not to have religious faith, I think that is dishonest'

It worked but they said it's unlikely for her to be accepted into their proper primary school without her being baptised. The fucking cunts.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 11:03, Reply)

Catholicism is fucking shit.

( Kroney, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 11:04, Reply)

Worst of all the Christians by a long fucking chalk.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 11:06, Reply)

Westboro, surely?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 11:06, Reply)

Their malign influence on world events is negligible.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 11:12, Reply)

And it's a pretty cunty chalk to start with.

( Kroney, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 11:07, Reply)

Damn right it is.
Positively reeks of fanny.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 11:12, Reply)

I'm now quite glad I'm not going to be Godfather to my friend's child.
Those services are so fucking dull.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 11:06, Reply)

No one would understand you with a mouth full of cotton wool anyway.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 11:07, Reply)

Marlon Brando lols

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 27 Sep 2011, 11:07, Reply)

Haha

CFB
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 27 Sep 2011, 11:07, Reply)