Right moving on to srs bsns
So Syria, what should we do about it?
Sanctions? Military action? Assasination? Funding the rebels? Peace conference?

I honestly can't think of any good idea to resolve the situation.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 12:59, 80 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Alt: lunch

(PsychoChomp, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:02, Reply)

UNLEASH THE BREASTS!!

( girlinthehole, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:03, Reply)

I don't think that'll go down well in a conservative Muslim country.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:03, Reply)

Don't we have the technology to fake some sort of second coming of Mohammed.
We could then use Mohammed to tell them to stop being arses and be nicer to wimmin.
( girlinthehole, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:06, Reply)

You could clone him.
And then get him to appear in a vision in a monastery somewhere, and have him installed as some sort of honorary figurehead to keep the Muslim world together?

I watch too much TNG.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:08, Reply)

A sex ban might solve the problem.
If the women withdraw sex privileges for the men until they all negotiate a peace settlement, that'd do the job.

It worked in Kenya.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:06, Reply)

Wouldn't make any difference if you were in charge though, would it?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:13, Reply)

Lysistrata

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:17, Reply)

Dunno, but you've got to wonder about the state of our present government
when our defense secretary needs one of his mates to hold his hand, and the Chief Policy advisor doesn't think it's worth taking work documents back for shredding.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:05, Reply)

yeah "mate"
The sort of mate you take on holiday with you and your wife? strange.
(DeeDee, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:14, Reply)

Yeah the whole thing is a bit dodgy,
I think it's most likely innocent, just strange and fucking stupid.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:18, Reply)

I thought it was good old fashioned nepotism at first,
but now I think Fox and him are lovers, and Fox and his wife are each others beards
(DeeDee, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:21, Reply)

The newspapers do love a bit of gay sex don't they.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:33, Reply)

who doesn't?!

(DeeDee, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:37, Reply)

Ha ha
The BBC obviously do too. I was just listening to The World at One and they kept referring to Fox's "Friendship" with Werrity. Never have quotation marks been so audible on the radio...
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:38, Reply)

Whenever you have to get a cabinate member to say you love your wife then you're in trouble.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:40, Reply)

Where's the resident Islamophile from North Manchester
He'd know what to do as most of his friends are brown
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:05, Reply)

He even married a brownie.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:12, Reply)

NONCE

(PsychoChomp, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:40, Reply)

But some of his best friends are children...

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:41, Reply)

Although this defence didn't really help matters for Michael Jackson.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:43, Reply)

Although some of his friends actually were black

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:44, Reply)

Or the secret sixth option: nothing.

(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:05, Reply)

I say we take off and nuke the site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:06, Reply)

This get's my vote for second choice.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:07, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1390947
(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:08, Reply)

Haha

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:45, Reply)

just get everyone really high,
no one will want to fight then.
(DeeDee, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:06, Reply)

And sales of mars bars would go through the roof!

(The Luggage is haunted..., Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:07, Reply)

Might I be the odd one out by suggesting: Leave them the fuck alone to sort their shit out and stop interfering?
/knows little of what's actually going on in Syria, but will probably still think this is the right thing to do anyway.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:06, Reply)

It borders Turkey and Iraq and Isreal
a civil war will cause a shitload of problems for our interests.
They produce oil which we all need and they have a coastline to the mediteranean.
But basically, stability in the region is in every countries interest.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:10, Reply)

cf Somalia.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:13, Reply)

I'd disagree with the phrase "our interests"
The interests of the lackwits currently running this country are most likely not mine.

Oil may be a valid point but will production actually stop or will it just mean buying it of different people?

Is stability desirable just because of oil or for some other reason?

Knowing what little I do of the region I doubt it will be stable any time soon, and I's also suggest that previous interventions have not helped one bit.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:22, Reply)

Yo', sorry, I dashed off.
Iron Man is deffo the coolest avenger, totally agree, but one of the whole points of marvel, at least from a geek's point of view, is all the subtext messages and all that. I mean, that's always been the thing with (ok, this is DC, same diff in this case) Superman, is he jesus like? Is it better to be a superman agmonst humans or an average superman agmonst supermen? In the realm of aliens, does god exist? Is the world better off under the rule of verious different systems? ....etc..... I'm not heavily into DC/Marvel/etc, but I thought maybe you were, so that's why I pulled up on the whole Tony Stark being such an extreme over something that I thought (and was wrong about, which is fair 'nuff, my mistake, sorry) you held so closely and dear.

Kindda like this, I'm jewish, I'm not religious, I like bacon, I donno what i believe, have no idea how to define myself. Cultuerly, I'm jewish, but I donno about the religion side of things. I would never say "Oh man, hitler is so fucking cool" even though Robery Carlyl playing him in the film "Hitler: The rise of evil" was extremly powerful and charamastic. I'd watch the film, be entertained by the film, be amazed at the acting by Robert Carlyl, but I would never say "Hitler was the coolest dictator". Which also brings to another point of yours, I thought it was Tony Stark/Iron Man that you loved, rather than Robert Downing Junior.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 14:22, Reply)

Don't we also have an "interest" in selling arms in this part of the world?
To paraphrase Bill Hicks, don't attack Syria until their cheque clears.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:35, Reply)

What does Syria have that we need, apart from sand to cover the snow in winter.

( girlinthehole, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:08, Reply)

Oil
Oh and it has a coast with the med, so if it was nice and friendly we could run a pipeline from Iraq straight to europes door.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:11, Reply)

We don't actually import much oil at all from the Middle East. Neither does the States.
In fact, up until 5 years ago, we were a net oil exporter. Most of our imports come from Norway and Russia.

Middle Eastern interference from the West has nothing to do with oil concerns.
( Kroney, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:17, Reply)

Yeah, that's what THE MAN wants you to think.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:18, Reply)

Actually, THE MAN would rather have us believe the opposite.
Makes it easier to justify regime changes, innit?
( Kroney, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:20, Reply)

In fact, not only do we not import much oil from the Middle East
but it's because they produce the wrong sort of oil. Heavy crude, which we have limited use for.
( Kroney, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:28, Reply)

true dis, our petrochemical refineries are built for brent crude.
however, we don't usually import oil, more the refined products I think, so it's a bit of a moot point.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:42, Reply)

Based on extensive playing of Total War
the obvious solution is to recruit about 3 or 4 artillery sets, 5-6 mounted units and the rest infantry (they're just cannon fodder really so go for the cheap ones).

Then put them in a ship in Portmsouth and sail through the Med and wait until the start of your next turn so you have a full movement allowance, then disembark all the troops onto the shore as close to the capital as you can and first request surrender, because you're not an evil person, but if they decline (they always will if it's their only territory) then just go straight to assault and take it over.

Then repair the buildings straight away as it helps reduce tension, select all your units and repair them back to full strength, repair the port you landed at, destroy all their religious towns and replace them with church schools and finally make that region exempt from tax for about 5 turns until they've got used to you being there.

If they ever rebel then send in more troops to put it down and just keep converting the population to being protestant.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:18, Reply)

Ooo! get you Mr master of strategy.

( girlinthehole, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:20, Reply)

Not really, people who are really good actually fight the battles themselves
I just go for overwhelming numbers every time as I'm crap at actually telling troops to go here there and everywhere on the battlefield.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:29, Reply)

Haven't we tried similar strategies to this in other countries?
It generally doesn't make us very popular. Or work out as planned.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:30, Reply)

there is no way this approach can fail.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:39, Reply)

unless by fail you mean succeed

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:51, Reply)

wank until you're spaffing dust.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:38, Reply)

That's your answer to everything

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:40, Reply)

It's an approach that's never failed me yet.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:40, Reply)

you'd all be wanking over my lunch from the lebanese place which is my new obsession
and they were so pleased that i brought friends in from work that they have given me 3 free plates of mini-baklava.

but having stuffed myself on lentils and brown rice and chickpeas and garlic sauce and feta and spicy houmous... i've realised i'm going for a greek tonight. same again? apparently so...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:47, Reply)

I've never felt the need to wank over food
it ruins the flavour for a start.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:51, Reply)

She'll swallow my semen, by hook or by crook..

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:52, Reply)

oh god
are you one of these fascists who doesn't put salt on his food??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:54, Reply)

fuck no.
why on earth would you think that? salt is fine, in the form of salt. Not in the form of a couple of quarts of fuck-juice.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:56, Reply)

a couple of quarts?
you've got tickets on yourself!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 14:09, Reply)

I bet you're 'going for a greek' tonight.
Your boyfriend will be so pleased.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:52, Reply)

he's not my boyfriend, i don't like tags on things
he is just "the boy". AND he's not going, there's about 20 of us who were all at school together going.

so there.

the greek guy who runs the restaurant is glorious, sooooo greek. i love him. we were winding him up once about greek guys being gay, and he just said: "darling, we invented it, ees true. but i am ALL MAN."

we laughed at him a lot.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:54, Reply)

Isn't "the boy" a tag?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:54, Reply)

There really is no point in taking this any further.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:55, Reply)

ah, if only your parents had said that to one another about 9 months before you were born...

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:58, Reply)

I imagine it was probably the last thing your mother was thinking.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 14:01, Reply)

why would you imagine that?
wait, wait, i think i've got it.... was it to try and make someone you've never met, and never will meet, feel a bit unhappy on a friday afternoon?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 14:05, Reply)

No that's just a gender.

( girlinthehole, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:55, Reply)

But doesn't the inclusion of a definite article turn it from merely a description of gender into a tag?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:57, Reply)

Shut up.

( girlinthehole, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:59, Reply)

i should just have said this

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 14:00, Reply)

"the boy" is a nickname
it's very different to "my boy", which i don't like.

it has connotations of the sameness of the same person forever and ever and a lifetime of domestic drudgery of cooking and cleaning and washing and never being able to go on holiday with the girls or fuck off travelling or to live in new york or alaska if i felt like it and all the other things that most people seem to find normal and appealing but that terrify me!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:58, Reply)

I use to feel like that.

( girlinthehole, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:59, Reply)

Wow, and I thought I had issues.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 14 Oct 2011, 14:00, Reply)

i'm exaggerating a lot
but i do find the whole concept of marriage and settling down a bit stifling where most people seem to find it comforting and secure.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 14:09, Reply)

I agree to some extent
but I have a badly failed marriage to blame for my hang ups. Never mind swipey, it'll all be fine when the hormones kick in.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 14 Oct 2011, 14:16, Reply)

haha
everyone's different. look at cancertwat yesterday - on a serious note underneath the horseshit, he genuinely thinks getting his wife knocked up and tying himself down when he was so young was a great thing. which is baffling to ME. and he genuinely thinks that my work hard, play hard lifestyle of loads of friends, boyfriends, socialising and travelling is a bad thing. yet presumably we're both pretty happy with what we've got.

it takes all sorts!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 14:20, Reply)

This is true.
It's also true that we tend to justify our decisions/lifestyle as being the best way to do things after the event, rather than deciding to go a certain way because it makes sense. I'd say this applies to you and CJ both, probably me too.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 14 Oct 2011, 14:23, Reply)

bit of both
people who want to settle down generally have serious relationships from a young age, for example.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 14:28, Reply)

True, but there is also an element of justification after the event.
when you find yourself shackled in a loveless marriage with no life and 7 screming fucktard children you tend to find reasons why this is really what you wanted all along.

Equally when you find yourself working most of your working hours with little human closeness in your life and little spritual fulfilment, you tend to deride those who are happy and settled.


In fairness I should add that when you have made a royal fuck up of both your marriage and career you tend to look down your nose at people who have been successful in either area as if you have some how chosen to have nothing to show for 36 years of your life.


*commits suicide*
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 14 Oct 2011, 14:36, Reply)

hahaha
it's hardly as black and white as all that!

eg you can be very happily single without feeling a lack of human closeness - that's what friends and family are for!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 14:42, Reply)

so, wait
she sits around at home while her bloke goes up into the hills with a young boy to "look after the goats" ?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:55, Reply)

there aren't many hills in kensington
but amusingly the one that there is is called "campden"
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:59, Reply)