That Thread is shit and dead.
Let's have one with a question.

Who was the B3tan you were most surprised by in the flesh and why?


Alt:What's the best method of capital punishment, assuming we're going to have it at all?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 20 Oct 2011, 13:44, 112 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Alt: tickling

( broadsword, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 13:48, Reply)

well, if you can die of hiccups, this would probably work.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 20 Oct 2011, 13:50, Reply)

I've died of hiccups three times this week already

( broadsword, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 13:54, Reply)

I suppose I was surprised by most of them
Lethal injection I guess
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 13:50, Reply)

My preferred method involves a helmet mad from semtex.
as there would be no way to survive it and it would be pretty much instant. I believe few other methods can claim this.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 20 Oct 2011, 13:56, Reply)

Genuinely, it was Al
to the point where drunken me apparently just kept saying 'I can't believe that you are actually really nice in real life'.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 13:52, Reply)

Was he your besshhht Al?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 13:55, Reply)

God, the poor bastard.
Yes, I think he was. Hic.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 13:56, Reply)

nice thin
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 13:56, Reply)

Hahahah
That too!
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 13:56, Reply)

Also, I quite liked the freedom to just talk in the last thread, without these damn questions

( broadsword, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 13:53, Reply)

But the internet must know your opinion in these matters.

( girlinthehole, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 13:54, Reply)

I'm not gonna talk about b3tan flesh, I've only just had lunch

( broadsword, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 13:55, Reply)

Fine by me.
but it was dying and nobody was talking, insert usual disclaimer about user related content here.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 20 Oct 2011, 13:55, Reply)

Alt: Like this (NSFW)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=MLctf4o6feQ

Broadsword - you may want to watch this.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 13:56, Reply)

Someone was bound to post it

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 13:57, Reply)

I am at work
but would I be right in guessing it's that python sketch with topless women chasing a man off a cliff?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:00, Reply)

Natürlich

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:00, Reply)

Glad to know I can judge these things so well.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:14, Reply)

Oh man, i like breasts
Do you know, I'm not sure I've ever seen that film all the way through, might have to illegally acquire it this evening.

There was a comedy thingy on bbc4 last night about Monty Python, it was pretty funny.
( broadsword, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:00, Reply)

Started watching that BBC4 thing last night & switched off after 10 minutes as it seemed weird to see other people playing Cleese, Idle, etc.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:12, Reply)

Al probably
he was like the jolly green giant, except not green. And not a cunt.

Also Amberl was posher and more boobed than I could ever have imagined her to be.
(berk, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 13:56, Reply)

Chickenlady
Far, FAR cruder in real life than I expected, was fantatic.

Alt: Hanging, or beheading. Probably the cheapest way of doing it, and you could raise money by charging for spectators.

However, I hope they never bring the death penalty back, it just reeks of ignorance to me.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 13:57, Reply)

I have to agree with this
*grins*
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:01, Reply)

That's still the same grin from when she made her 'revalation', isn't it?
Been stuck on there for the last year and a half, haha
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:04, Reply)

It's not something I feel the need to complain about...
...but IRL she's much freer spirited and engaging than I ever imagined before I met her. She's one of very few people whom I've met who I've instantly felt relaxed enough to let my guard down with.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:08, Reply)

guard pants
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:09, Reply)

I very nearly did this very same edit!
*mindpiss*
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:14, Reply)

She is very wonderful

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:10, Reply)

I can't decide who surprised me the most.
The arse-grabber or the tit-squeezer.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 13:58, Reply)

Hey!
I've never met you.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 20 Oct 2011, 13:58, Reply)

Bill and ?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 13:59, Reply)

Ha!
I totally grabbed Bill's arse.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:01, Reply)

Her fiance. Duh!

( girlinthehole, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:01, Reply)

...oops

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:14, Reply)

I was joking.

( girlinthehole, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:18, Reply)

Well, shit.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:19, Reply)

Ted?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:01, Reply)

Grammar Badger.
I frightened her with my objection and then spent part of the evening trying to make her feel better about it, and saying "LOLOLOL BOOBS AND PRETEND LESBIANISM" but I couldn't get into it.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:14, Reply)

Haha!
At least mostly it's the female b3tans who are gropey.
( girlinthehole, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:17, Reply)

Not my fault you're a prude IRL

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:14, Reply)

Yup. Total prude.
Don't like strange women coming up to me, loudly proclaiming "THEY'RE FANTASHTICH!" and honking my tits.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:16, Reply)

HAHAHAHA

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:18, Reply)

Shouldn't go to bashes then

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:20, Reply)

I don't any more!
Mind you, I don't think you should grab strangers' tits.
We all have our quirks.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:23, Reply)

I suppose I was probably most surprised that Monty looked just like monty
or possible that Amberl is actually quite pretty and dose not look at all like the evil dried up old harridan I had assumed her to be.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 20 Oct 2011, 13:58, Reply)

I'm willing to bet that she is nowhere near as enormous as she claims to be either.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:00, Reply)

This too, although I wasn't surprised by this
having met women before.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:01, Reply)

Very good question...
...All of you whom I've met have surprised me in some way. For the most part, you're much nicer IRL than online. Especially Al.

Quite a lot of b3tans are funnier IRL too, Roota is quite possibly one of the funniest people I have ever met with TGB and DiT not far behind.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 20 Oct 2011, 13:59, Reply)

IIRC, you said you expected me to be older, or something like that.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:07, Reply)

Yes, I did.
I think my comment went along the lines of "But you're a mere boy!" or somesuch. I hope to see you at a bash again very soon too.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:09, Reply)

Haha, only fair!
Well, as long as Blousie has another bash next year, I'll be there. I'm not missing it for anything this time.

I do greatly look forward to meeting you again.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:10, Reply)

hey I'm funny on here too!
You were more manlier than I expected
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:15, Reply)

More manlier?
As in you assumed that I was metrosexual?

Or I'm a great big hulking brute IRL?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:17, Reply)

a little from column A....

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:19, Reply)

RIS?

(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:19, Reply)

bit of both

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:20, Reply)

Mate!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:20, Reply)

I can't really say that I've been suprised by anyone after meeting them.
Alt: Paper cuts.
( girlinthehole, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:00, Reply)

Ow! You are a sadistic woman

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:03, Reply)

*grins*

( girlinthehole, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:04, Reply)

Capital punishment is 100% wrong.
Of the B3tans I have met the one that surprised me the most was BGB. I was expecting her to be very pleasant. This was an underestimation - she is awesome.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:02, Reply)

^^This

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:02, Reply)

fucking suck up

(PsychoChomp, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:03, Reply)

Whereas when I met you I thought he looks like David Yelland with hair, once he's bought me a pint I'll fuck off & talk to some one more interesting.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:10, Reply)

Well I thought you were a nice guy.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:12, Reply)

You were drunk
and I am taking the piss - you're a sound chap. For a paperclip salesman.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:14, Reply)

*grins wider*
Unfortunately it's a curse more than a blessing.
( girlinthehole, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:05, Reply)

For some reason I am doing far too many strikethroughs today...
rin et r +on
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:14, Reply)

And that was funnier in my head.
Maybe I should go and do some work...
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:15, Reply)

Fucking hell, that was hard work.

( girlinthehole, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:15, Reply)

You want to try typing it

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:18, Reply)

^ This
BGB is absolutely lovely. Every time I get drunk in her presence I end up telling her that if I were a single b3tan, I'd be after her!

[edit] and if she were a single b3tan too. I'm not a cunt like that.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:11, Reply)

It's comments like this that stops me from completely giving up on men.
You and Al give me hope.
( girlinthehole, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:14, Reply)

hmm
hope the clap
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:20, Reply)

Oi!

(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:23, Reply)

Bert.
He was pretty normal.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:04, Reply)

^ This answer wins

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:05, Reply)

You
The hair was much better than expected
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:07, Reply)

If only I coulds say the same.
actually yours was surprisingly normal looking, but you were otherwise just as I expected.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:43, Reply)

i can't answer this without getting sued
but i can say the second biggest surprise was probably cavy. i had no idea what she looked like, and didn't know she was coming to the bash, but then she tapped me on the shoulder and THERE SHE WAS! looking nothing like i imagined and actually there.

and, because i was pissed as a twat by then, physically surprising me too.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:20, Reply)

Kroney was a lot hotter than I thought he would be

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:21, Reply)

I expected him to be more alternative for some reason.

( girlinthehole, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:22, Reply)

Is that the world's greatest backhanded compliment?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:39, Reply)

oh Ma and Pa were more awesome than I ever could have imagined,
Also Ma was more toxic than I ever could have imagined
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:26, Reply)

Since the only one I've met that you guys will be familiar with is TGB
then I'd have to say her, but I wasn't surprised as I'd talked to her a lot and she was exactly as I'd expected*.

I'm contractually obliged to point out that AB and Dr Shambolic are genuinely brilliant IRL too. Baldmonkey is every bit as mental, though.

Alt - death by spoons.

*obviously, in a good way.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:30, Reply)

I think I'd have been more surprised if Dr Shambolic and AB turned out to be utter cunts in real life

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:39, Reply)

Their current practice
is trying to make racist islamophobic facebook groups see reason. It's a joy to behold.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:41, Reply)

Linky? Please.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:44, Reply)

^this

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:44, Reply)

I can't really, it's facebook stuff so links won't work, plus it's not my place to tell you their real names.
Ask AB next time he's about, I'm sure he'll be happy to oblige. You can check out the "still laughing at the english defence league" page there though, and you'll work through to most of them ;)
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:47, Reply)

Fair point it is FB. I will have a look at the group you mention.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:48, Reply)

Ah, of course.
I don't know why I was thinking they'd still be called Dr and AB.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:49, Reply)

I will say
given some of the knuckledraggers that threaten them on FB after they've pointed out that it's not, in fact, "one law for us and one for them" when someone gets sent down for vadalising a mosque, say, that I doubt they'd be bothered about you guys knowing who they are... but still not my place to decide for them, I'm afraid.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:51, Reply)

Of course. As I say, I hadn't thought it through.
I think I'll be busy for the next couple of hours reading the 'still laughing...' page now anyway.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:54, Reply)

I think most b3tans have surprised me in one way or another.
Jeff was a lot younger than I imagined, Blousie was way taller than I was expecting, Amberl was less huge and unattractive than she makes out, and you... well you were pretty much how I expected, to be honest.

I was absolutely floored by just how totally scouse Roota is, though. Well, sounds, anyway. But she's an excellent mimic of other accents, too. If you've seen any of her impressions, you'll know what I mean.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:39, Reply)

Now that's a backhanded compliment haha

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:44, Reply)

The way you talk
I was expecting Michelle McManus, at the very least.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:46, Reply)

Seconded
Amberl is lovely.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:56, Reply)

I'm not called Big-girl's-blouse for nothing.

( girlinthehole, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:44, Reply)

I suppose that name could also work for Darth....

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:46, Reply)

Nobody I've met off b3ta posts anymore
god rest their souls.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:41, Reply)

Do you drive a lorry?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:42, Reply)

Haven't I met you?
I wondered why the room just started smelling of almon.....
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:42, Reply)

I've only been to one bash
and everyone was just as I thought they would be, just a lot nicer, even Kaol.
( Peej, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 14:58, Reply)

He introduced himself to me saying he was "the king of qotw"
I thought he was a prick, but he was alright when I got used to him.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 15:01, Reply)

I got to meet mistaspakkaman
which was interesting!
( Peej, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 15:05, Reply)

That's one word for it.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 15:12, Reply)

I was so surprised by Monty I fell over.
Roota was surprisingly scouse, and I'll echo TGB on the Kroney thing.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 15:01, Reply)

Clendrix was way more West Country than I expected
As I had not known she was from those parts.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 15:14, Reply)

Was I whiter than you expected?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 15:44, Reply)

Haha!

( girlinthehole, Thu 20 Oct 2011, 15:45, Reply)