as of a resolution last night, CHOCOLATE
what does my colleague bring me back from miami? not one but two giant white chocolate toblerones.

also i finally got caught for speeding yesterday. there is absolutely no excuse other than total idiocy and an empty motorway. 98mph (although only at one point, mostly they clocked me at 80-85mph). i was bloody lucky to get let off with no points/fine, which i think was partly due to the sob story i gave him, but mostly due to the fact that i've had a completely clean licence for 17 years. i have most definitely learned my lesson. urgh.

BUT i do have to query why it took 3 bloody police cars to do it. if someone had nicked the car or vandalised it, there wouldn't have been a policeman in sight, never mind 3 cars-full. also, he said to me: you only slowed down when you saw a speed camera or when you saw me in your rear-view mirror. well, yeah. doesn't everyone do that?!

i do feel like just the tiniest bit of a total twat though.

/chastened
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 11:28, 8 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

You didn't get points for doing 98mph?
Your BJs must be really impressive
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 11:29, Reply)

i know, right?!
he was so rude to me at first. then having told me that a speeding car was "more dangerous than a loaded gun" etc etc, he barked: "why did you do it? why?"

so i said: "i'm not going to give you any excuses, i shouldn't have done it." then promptly launched into a really feeble excuse about being very upset and just needing to get home...... i DIDN'T CRY though!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 11:34, Reply)

Speeding is fun and safe, just ignore them

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 11:29, Reply)

There was loads of fedz on the m1 and m6 yesterday

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 11:30, Reply)

this was the m40... usually a ghost road......

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 11:33, Reply)

Dunno, must have been Super Sunday for the fedz on the Motorways yesterday then

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 11:34, Reply)

well yeah
it's not like there were any burglaries or drug crimes going on...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 11:35, Reply)

There was at Old Trafford!!111!!!

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 11:37, Reply)

gosh, an eleventy one and everything
have not seen result, what happened?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 11:38, Reply)

Utd 1 city 6

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 11:40, Reply)

On a scale of 1-6 how upset do you think Utd fans are?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 11:42, Reply)

I'm an arsenal fan so I'm keeping schtum

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 11:43, Reply)

You're shit
and you know you are, no really you guys seem to have accepted the fact
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 11:45, Reply)

Getting a bit better now but still shit

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 11:47, Reply)

I'm not particularly bothered, tbh.
Man U were (just) the better team until Evans went. Then they tried to get out of it by all-out attack, which was suicide, but it's no indication of anything. City still haven't faced a half-decent team in the premiership this season on equal terms. First thing I did at the final whistle was place a signficant bet that Man U will finish above City in May. It's as meanignless in the grand scheme of things as Man U putting 8 past Arsenal, which is why I didn't crow about that either.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 11:46, Reply)

No they weren't, most of the possession but you did fuck all with it.
City were prepared and clinical. Utd gave up and collapsed.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 11:49, Reply)

haha, were you watching a different game?
Granted, Man U were a bit arsenal-ish in their wastefulness in the last third in the first half. But they didn't give up, they used their defenders as wingers from the second that Evans went. Which was very stupid, but no indication of anything meaningful. Watch it again and pay attention this time, eh?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 11:53, Reply)

I only watched highlights as it was on at 7:30 am here
It showed city giving you too much respect for fifteen minutes before smashing six past you at home. You watch it again and tell me rio and the rest of the back four didn't give up. You don't score 3 in 3 if the other team still give a shit. Oh and at home as well... Ouch
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 12:01, Reply)

is this actually true? 6-1 to the bitter men??
no wonder i haven't heard from my dad and brothers since. they've probably killed themselves.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 12:05, Reply)

Yup it was great to see a shell shocked fergie

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 12:11, Reply)

No, you score 3 in 3 between the 90th and 93 minute
when the other team, who've been playing with 10 men for 40 mins, pull one back to 3-1 and go all-out attack, and City find the inevitable spaces on the break. I'm not saying City aren't very good, I'm saying bar the 3 points it's a meaningless result as it's no indication City are a better team in an equal arena.

IF you'd watched the whole game you'd have seen that Man U had a lot of pressure and (I think) more shots in the second half. 11 v 11 and City would have struggled to hold the lead, and Mancini basically admitted as much. It was a carbon-copy of the Charity Shield and the 2-1 last season until Evans went.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 12:13, Reply)

Midfield choice was wrong, city had a plan and it worked.
Money, unfortunately, wins you football games
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 12:17, Reply)

Was their plan
to score more goals than the opposing team?
I don't know much about football, but I'm sure this should always be the plan.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 12:20, Reply)

Or not let in as many

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 12:22, Reply)

See, I told you I didn't know much about it.
If I ever have to manage a team I'll hire you as my assistant, Bobs.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 12:24, Reply)

you should also be aware
that just because a team won, does not mean that played better, apparently.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 24 Oct 2011, 12:24, Reply)

Usually does unless you follow man u

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 12:29, Reply)

I'm not saying they weren't better
I'm saying the fact they were better 11 v 10 is fairly meaningless, whereas the footballing press seems to regard it as some kind of new dawn and power shift. Like when Newcastle beat Man U 5-1. Or Southampton beat them 6-3. Or Liverpool beat them 4-1 two years ago. Because all three of those clubs went on to dominate the premiership for years to come, of course. Oh, hang on...
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 13:34, Reply)

It won't win them the league
that's why I placed a sizeable bet.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 13:31, Reply)

Did you go?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 11:38, Reply)

I'm at every home game

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 12:24, Reply)

Are you Alex ferguson?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 12:29, Reply)

No, as then he would be called
Rory Ryon
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 12:31, Reply)

You're lucky. I had to go on a 4 hour course a couple of weeks ago to avoid 3 points and keep my license clean.
My crime? 35 in 30. FFS.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 11:30, Reply)

Speeeding in a built up area is seen as worse due to all the kiddies

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 11:31, Reply)

Trading estate on a Sunday morning whilst lost in Northumberland. Hardly the crime of the century.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 11:33, Reply)

It could be you
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2052533/Worlds-fastest-crash-test-Car-smashes-wall-120mph-speed-family-runarounds-hit.html
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 11:38, Reply)

what, me in the daily mail?
are you mad?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 11:38, Reply)

He will be once he's finished

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 11:39, Reply)

Lawyer sucks off whole squad car to avoid fine shocker

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 11:40, Reply)

So prior to this stunt
people thought that driving head on at a concrete wall at 120 was perfectly safe?

right.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 24 Oct 2011, 11:47, Reply)

You're in luck
White chocolate isn't classed as chocolate. Fill your boots.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 11:38, Reply)

or indeed edible.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 24 Oct 2011, 11:42, Reply)

It's congeald moose spunk

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 11:43, Reply)

nom.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 24 Oct 2011, 11:47, Reply)

They never had you clocked on radar gear at 98 and let you off
It's not a "grey area" speed, it's compulsory court attendence. I got taken to court for 96.

Was it a car clocking you on video? because they can only do you for an average speed, they aren't calibrated for single speeds in a way that would be admissable in court. They probably told you 98 to shit you up.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 11:38, Reply)

If I understand it correctly
They have to have clocked you over a certain distance too. Often you will get pulled over, ticked off and then "let off" - which means "we don't have enough to charge you with"
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 11:42, Reply)

Sounds like they were recording her for long enough, to be fair
but if the average was low 80s they were never going to bother persuing it.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 11:43, Reply)

A mile I believe

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 11:43, Reply)

Normally they go with your average speed over a third of a mile.
Unless they nick you with the VASCAR system.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 11:44, Reply)

i think that's right, it was a video in the car
however, there is no doubt that i was doing at least 98mph at some points. i was in a hurry and i had a lot of stuff on my mind and it is a very fast car and i was being a twat!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 12:03, Reply)

I think if they are using a video in the car
Then they are making an estimate of your speed, based on the speed they have to do to chase you. I'm quite prepared to be proven wrong on this though...
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 12:06, Reply)

i'm just so fucking relieved to have been let off
that i don't care!

urgh.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 12:08, Reply)

Oh, I don't doubt it
I'm just pointing out they can't have any proof of that or they would have thrown the book at you ...
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 12:14, Reply)

ssh
my ego would prefer it if he fancied me.

indulge me?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 12:26, Reply)

You're a lawyer aren't you/ Can't you find some loophole?

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 24 Oct 2011, 11:46, Reply)

You don't really need a loophole when you haven't actually been done for anything.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 11:47, Reply)

You're right.
I didn't read it properly. I've been told if they haven't calibrated their equipment that day, this is grounds for getting off, but that may be an urban myth.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 24 Oct 2011, 11:53, Reply)

I'm assuming she was being followed and recorded.
That's timing gear and doesn't need calibrating every day, but can only be used as evidence of an average speed over a certain distance

If they actually had her on radar doing 98 no sob story in the world would get her off prosecution, it's compulsory.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 11:56, Reply)

hence the need for multiple blowjobs.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 24 Oct 2011, 12:01, Reply)

I think it's one gobble for every 10mph over the limit.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 24 Oct 2011, 12:03, Reply)

I heard she talked them down to 5mph

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 24 Oct 2011, 12:06, Reply)

I was told it's the radar gun,
but it is probably an urban myth. Like the one putting tinfoil in your mouth fucks the breathalyser.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 24 Oct 2011, 12:02, Reply)

I've heard that they can't prosecute you if they have their police radio on at the same time as the radar,
cause thy can mess each other up. When my boyfriend got caught he got the fine, but not the points, as they couldn't prove his speed accurately enough. Or maybe his blowjob technique wasn't good enough
(DeeDee, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 12:16, Reply)

He's alright
I've had worse.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 12:21, Reply)

l p

LOL!!11111!!!!!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 11:52, Reply)

I just laughed at this, and now feel thoroughly ashamed.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 12:02, Reply)