Alt: bear dog so I could train it
Alt alt: unless in Vegas, but even then it's a close call
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 14:24, 2 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

soooooo
a newfoundland then.

that is already an animal.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 14:29, Reply)

Not the one I'm picturing.
And that's not fact anyway.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 14:30, Reply)

you're thinking about shagging it, aren't you?
:(
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 14:32, Reply)

Dont tar me with your shitty brush, I'll be making up stories about speeding next
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 14:33, Reply)

you can try
but it won't be as horrific as my actual experience.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 14:34, Reply)

Why
It's obviously bollocks
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 14:35, Reply)

i wish it were, i really do
as it is, i have to be good for the next 12 months, or it can be added to any future endorsement.

if i were going to make something up, it would be about shagging bradley cooper. it would not be about being stupid enough to get caught speeding!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 14:37, Reply)

The most convincing lies always start with a nugget of truth, I don't doubt the whole story just the details

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 14:39, Reply)

every word is true
albeit badger may well be correct, he could have exaggerated what they clocked me at to frighten the hell out of me.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 14:40, Reply)

I'm pretty sure
"being let off for something you could easily have been banned for" does not count as in any way horrific.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 14:36, Reply)

well no, clearly the outcome could have been much worse
but the whole experience was pretty knee-trembling.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 14:38, Reply)

Aha the knee trembler
Get out clause...
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 17:01, Reply)

what would you train it to do, though?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 14:31, Reply)

shag him

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 14:32, Reply)

don't bears have barbed penises?
that's not going to end well.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 14:32, Reply)

now, you're assuming here that bobby would be the taker (catamite?)
why would you assume that, eh? why?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 14:33, Reply)

I didn't. I'm simply unaware of any flimsy urban legends regarding bear vaginas.
So I only had one path available to me to follow, I'm afraid.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 14:34, Reply)

we should totally start an urban legend about bear vaginas
bobby, it's your hybrid, would you care to start?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 14:35, Reply)

You have one, you start

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 14:37, Reply)

bear vaginas...
not as much of a massive hairy cunt as bobby?!

(i am teasing you, btw)
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 14:39, Reply)

It's fine, it's the Internet x

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 14:40, Reply)

i was quite impressed at my comeback there
i'm normally only any good at being rude to al.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 14:41, Reply)

mallards have explosive corkscrew penisis
ducks have corkscrew vags, pain awaits the mallard that tries his clockwise cock in her anti-clockwise vagina
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 14:38, Reply)

Half marathon

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 14:33, Reply)

not even a whole marathon?
you're doubting your ungodly creation before you've even started, man. You'll never make a mad scientist.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 14:35, Reply)

either that or he's already eaten the other half
/snickers -v- marathon joke

/realises is showing age

/weeps
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 14:36, Reply)

you didn't need to explain it.
Some of us are at least as old as you.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 14:37, Reply)

yeah but some are only about 21
boo hiss
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 14:39, Reply)

bastards
Well at least i'm not quite 30 yet...
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 14:40, Reply)

subhuman child.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 24 Oct 2011, 14:41, Reply)

Haha

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 14:45, Reply)

Shut it foetus.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 24 Oct 2011, 14:50, Reply)

submuman children
best ignored.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 24 Oct 2011, 14:40, Reply)

yeah, but they'll all be shit in bed.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 14:40, Reply)

true
but they'd be able to get it up at 20 min intervals all weekend...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 14:41, Reply)

that doesn't particularly diminish with age, sweetie
Try sleeping with heterosexual men.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 14:43, Reply)

the quality goes up
but the quantity does go down.

this is one of your "lying for comedic effect" things, isn't it??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 14:54, Reply)

if it makes you feel better
yeah, I'm definitely lying for comedy effect. Honest.

You might be right, in general. I've only got a sample group of 1.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 15:00, Reply)

You've only slept with one heterosexual man?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 15:02, Reply)

All the rest were massive benders, innit?

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 24 Oct 2011, 15:05, Reply)

Of course
all the rest were totally Barrymore.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 15:05, Reply)

great, now I'm thinking like you.
might as well shoot myself now.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 24 Oct 2011, 15:07, Reply)

...and my work here is done.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 15:14, Reply)

oh go and ski down something.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 24 Oct 2011, 15:19, Reply)

no snow.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 15:30, Reply)

all the better.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 24 Oct 2011, 15:44, Reply)

aw, man, that cuts.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 15:46, Reply)

i don't want to think about you frenetically tugging to get it up every 20 mins all weekend
so i'm going to let you have this one.

but jesus knows you're lying.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 15:36, Reply)

What have I got to do with it?
I was talking about about straight men and I thought you'd already decided I was gayer than Barrowman in a pink boa?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 15:41, Reply)

well if you weren't talking about yourself
then you do have a disturbing knowledge of the potency of other heterosexual men.

you SHOULD get a pink boa to match the socks, though. i would enjoy that picture a lot.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 15:44, Reply)

A quick check through my facebook reveals I can only offer you a pink striped shirt
and black boa as a combination. Many apologies
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 15:50, Reply)

that would do
but i can always use my imagination if you don't think it's up to scratch.

also. a black boa.

WHY?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 16:07, Reply)

No idea
Because it was there, I imagine. There's also an inflatable triceratops involved, but that would probably push you right over the edge
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 16:12, Reply)

it is sounding like a dali painting right about now

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 16:27, Reply)

*grins*

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 14:42, Reply)

Well I don't want him too tired for all the shagging

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 14:36, Reply)

much better
that's the stuff
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 24 Oct 2011, 14:39, Reply)