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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Lordy
I fell asleep and had a proper big snooze. Now I feel a bit sick and don't fancy going to the pub.

What a waste of a saturday night.

What are you doing?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 20:23, 167 replies, latest was 14 years ago)
Evening Jeff
I am preparing food and trying to create Jimmy Saville jokes. The food is going well. The jokes are not.

In other news I carved this today for my daughter this morning. I don't care she's only two months old. I wanted to.


(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 20:28, Reply)
That is well arty
Hopefully she won't be traumatised and end up with a crippling fear of cats.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 20:30, Reply)
I am not creative in the slightest.
Saw it on Google Images, freehanded it on to a piece of paper, used that as a template and used a scalpel to cut through it.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 20:36, Reply)
How long did it take?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 20:37, Reply)

Half an hour to carve the insides out
Half an hour to make the stencil
An hour to carve the front & then tidy it all up.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 20:41, Reply)
So the short answer is '2hours'

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 20:46, Reply)
I like to be specific.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 20:55, Reply)
How did the meeting with the headhunter go?
I hope the Chelsea side will enjoy your support.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 20:56, Reply)
Despite knowing nothing about football, I will say that I am meeting the Portsmouth 6.57 "crew" on Monday.
It went fine thanks - just starting to do the rounds. Based on previous jobs it will take a few months - I had 7 interviews over 6 months for my job at Coca-Cola in 2002. Big job though.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 20:58, Reply)
What do you fancy doing?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:01, Reply)
Alt: being paid to drink beer and masturbate.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:08, Reply)
That might prove a difficult find.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:09, Reply)
I like a challenge
challenge wank.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:11, Reply)
We have 4 cats at home so she will be already traumatised,

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 20:42, Reply)
Good work
I'll bet you've been eating curry. How else would your ringpiece look so angry?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 20:30, Reply)
My ringpiece is awesome, as you should know from last night *Foxtrots*

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 20:36, Reply)
hahahaha

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 20:37, Reply)
that's quite good for a cunt.
My batman one is going to be awesome but the standard out here is very high.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 20:38, Reply)

for says
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:00, Reply)
Oh come off it, you are much more of a cunt than I am. I am like Luke Skywalker compared to you.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:15, Reply)

like Luke Skywalker a dull fat nonce cunt
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:26, Reply)
I object to being called dull.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:30, Reply)
So stop acting it then.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:32, Reply)
Will you two give it a rest.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:34, Reply)
No, he is a fucking douche.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:37, Reply)
You finally

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:40, Reply)
No.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:37, Reply)
Agree on something

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:41, Reply)
Please don't say that.
I am hoping to bully him in to self-harming.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:43, Reply)
Yes some manic depressive off of the internet is going to make me do a sadz until I cut myself.
Delusions of grandeur here.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:44, Reply)
Have you SEEN his tatts?
hahahaha
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:46, Reply)
Heh.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:48, Reply)
You've seen two of 9, both of which are fecking ace.
I am addicted, it's strange as the more you have done, the more space you see to get filled. Planning my back now but not starting til I lose another two stone.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:50, Reply)

two stone twelve stone
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:52, Reply)
Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:57, Reply)
Says mr one insult...
oo fat nonce, bravo on that one. You fucked off because you can't handle the place anymore come back and get upset 'cause I gave you stick for it. And whenever I post anything you write fat nonce underneath, unfortunately I am not a faggot and won't run away from the internet.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:35, Reply)
If you were more interesting I would make the effort to create more varied insults.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:38, Reply)
Wow passing the blame onto someone else, something new and exciting for you...
so was it Kristine's fault you had a bertdown and fucked off? Stop acting like such a fucking child all the time.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:41, Reply)
Speaking of Kristine, didn't you bail on meeting up with her recently?

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:45, Reply)
no she bailed on me and Al. I have my thoughts on the matter but it's for her to say
when she is in a better place. Why don't you get your revenge whilst she's vulnerable? you could practice picking on your defenceless little girl. It will be the same.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:52, Reply)
It was said you had a Facebook flounce and deleted her.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:57, Reply)
Lot's of things are said on here aren't they Mark.
Not all of them true.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 22:02, Reply)
Like the name Mark.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 22:06, Reply)
That's proper smart that.

(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Sat 29 Oct 2011, 20:47, Reply)
Ta.
Don't know why I wanted to do it, but enjoyed it nonetheless.

How are you sir?
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 20:56, Reply)
GOOD! With a touch of bad.
Everything around me seems to be doing well. I, however, am unsure.
(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:23, Reply)
What's the touch of bad? jimmy Saville is dead. We're all safe now.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:27, Reply)
I know what it is, I just need to pay attention to it.
Quick, someone make a cock joke.
(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:44, Reply)
Drowning my fucking sorrows
I'm cursed, I've been to 3 games this season and we've lost them all. This one was particularly galling - the main chant was "where's your red shirt you gormless cunt" directed at the ref.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 20:29, Reply)
waiting to watch motd live stream then out tonight with the tattoo lot from chicago.
Cannot believe the result today and Rovers won too.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 20:35, Reply)
Do something productive then
like painting pretty pictures, or sewing a frilly apron.

I'm watching shit Saturday night telly. Today I started my first batch of flavoured vodka, using purple skittles. If it works out okay, I'm going to make all the other flavours too.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 29 Oct 2011, 20:46, Reply)
Good for you.
I'm going to look at some flight prices.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 20:46, Reply)
Back to Embra?
Or are you going somewhere even more exciting?
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:02, Reply)
Nah. I was going to book my folks a weekend in Dublin at a Christmas gift
So I am just having a gander a flights and hotels.

Although saying that, I might be back in Embra for a few days next week.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:05, Reply)
If you have more time there on this occasion please let me know.
Will send you some recommendations of where to go and also where to avoid.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:08, Reply)
Yeah, at the moment, it's looking like 3 days next week and possibly all of the following week.
So any suggestions are good. If I'm not back there next week, I'll probably be there the week after.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:09, Reply)
Before I forget
You MUST eat here if you can:

www.lescargotbleu.co.uk/

You'll need to book though, even for midweek.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:12, Reply)
That sounds great.
I know very little about French food, but I'd be more than up for giving it a go.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:14, Reply)
Try the horse steak if they have it (it's normally on occasionally as a special)
Superb.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:17, Reply)
Probably at its best just after Aintree.
Anywhere else you can suggest?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:17, Reply)
Glasgow

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:21, Reply)
Don't be daft woman.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:36, Reply)
Glasgow is boss!
I won't hear a word against the place.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:41, Reply)
Glasgow is GAY
(I'll bet you heard that, even if I didn't really mean it)
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:43, Reply)
Glasgay.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:43, Reply)
I would have to disagree. Glasgow is a festering shithole.
Not as bad as Dundee mind, then that is THE arsehole of the world.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:43, Reply)
You're right about Scumdee
but I fucking love Glasgow. I could walk around Glasgow town centre on my own at 3am, and never once felt threatened by anyone. Weston after closing time is a bloody dangerous place.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:45, Reply)
Really? City centre at closing in a weekend is just one big drunken nedfest.
I fucking loathe this place.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:48, Reply)
Even though I have an English accent
I feel like I fit in there. I really loved living in Glasgow. It's certainly nicer than Fife.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:52, Reply)
Oh shitting hell. You're in fife? Whereabouts?

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:53, Reply)
No, I'm in Somerset.
My parents live in fife.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:56, Reply)
I'm so sorry :'(
Somerset eh? I know lots about that.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:58, Reply)
Somerset is a beautiful county
but there's shit all going on.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:59, Reply)
Indeed, it has fields and houses and that.
See? I'm like the professor of Summerset studies, or some shit.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 22:01, Reply)
Oo, and indeed, arrr.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 29 Oct 2011, 22:02, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=mu_rOBKBEKo
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 22:03, Reply)
Do I even want to ask...?

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 29 Oct 2011, 22:07, Reply)
Of course you do

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 22:13, Reply)
Oi went to Taaaaarquay for moi haaaalidays.
It be faaaaar too continental for moi loikin. Moi cows, Daaaaaaris and Daaaaaris tooooo didn't loik it much naither. No way no how.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 22:05, Reply)
Torquay b'ain't nuthin' to do with Zumerzet.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 29 Oct 2011, 22:06, Reply)
Oi knows thaaaaaat. Oi wuz there on moi haaaaalidays.
Oi don't know, you been sniffin on that there trakor diesel?
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 22:08, Reply)
It's all there is to do round here

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 29 Oct 2011, 22:09, Reply)
Whaaaaat about that there cow tippin? Oi dones that the day what were not today but day what come afore.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 22:13, Reply)
Aberdeen is bloody awful too.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:46, Reply)
I find it grey, cold and dull. Like if Ed Milliband was a town.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:49, Reply)
Cold, grey and deadly boring.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:53, Reply)
Bloody expensive place too
Guess it's all the oil money putting the prices up. People with cash will pay for a shit time.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:55, Reply)
Oil is now the main form of currency in Aberdeen.
"Ah went doon the tesco's ken, tae buy a wee stovie. They charged us three barruls ken? Ah wuz pure burlin."
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:59, Reply)
Nae?

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 22:08, Reply)
Are ye lookin at mah oiyl ken?

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 22:13, Reply)
Depends on your expenses policy.
For beer, if you like a nice quiet pub with good quality pint go to the St Vincents. If you want to go clubbing towards the end of the week go to Tiger Lil's (which is a lot more upmarket than it sounds). If you want a hooker you (so I have been told) should go to Leith.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:25, Reply)
On my jack jones, so I won't be clubbing
And the expenses policy is shit, but I don't mind putting a wee bit of my own wedge towards a proper feed.

And I won't be going to Leith either.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:27, Reply)
Look up the Caledonian Alehouse.
On the side of the brewery, not far from the centre, has on all 8 or so beers that they make.

If you like Italian food, there is a deli on Elm Row called Valcona & Crolla which is unbelievable, has won awards for being the best Italian deli in the UK. Has a sandwich bar so great for a snack lunch.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:31, Reply)
I need to find a bit of time to have a walk around the place and get a grip on where everything is.
At the moment, it's largely, fly, work, fly/hotel, work.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:42, Reply)
It's a small place so easily walkable.
You have my mobile # so feel free to call when you're there if you'd like more info' on anywhere specific.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:47, Reply)
I will do mate.
And if I get any good Jimmy jokes, I'll be sure to forward them on!
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:51, Reply)
Trying to make myself tidy
family are back tomorrow and the place is a mess. They will lynch me :(
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 20:51, Reply)
But what a party it was eh?
It's just a shame I never got invited
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 20:54, Reply)
Evening quenders
/I've spent my evening being punchy, how about you?
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:19, Reply)
I fuckin' have you outside on the cobbles me old china.
You lookin' at my pint?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:21, Reply)
Leave it, Kev, 'e's not wurf it!

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:21, Reply)
Your pint is well muntin!

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:23, Reply)
Are you trying to look down my top?
Are you saying I've got NOWT!

*Puts dukes up*
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:26, Reply)
Your moobs do nothing for me

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:30, Reply)
one of my moobs has an awesome new tattoo on it
and this american way of healing them has meant no scabbing whatsoever.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:39, Reply)
What way is that?
I had my navel pierced at an American tattoo place, and they were really lovely.

When I finally get round to getting my tat done, I'd like it to be as painless a process as possible.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:42, Reply)
Go to these people
inkwear.co.uk/?gclid=CLDevIDhjqwCFcNP4QodGnuIAw

They'll sort you out.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:44, Reply)
hahaha
How rock n roll.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:47, Reply)
No Jeff
that is not the point, the pain is part of the process, you earn your tattoos. My chest piece the other day was fucking agony but I am so pleased with it now.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:47, Reply)
You know what?
the past few days my wrists, elbows, knees and ankles have been in agony anyway (damp weather, I think) so it makes no difference to me how much it's going to hurt.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:50, Reply)
It's just very counter (spelling) intuitive not moving or wriggling under pain
I get the giggles when it's really bad.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:53, Reply)
I have to admit, I nearly passed out when I had my piercing done.
/big fat coward.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:54, Reply)
Women have more pain receptors than men so feel it more (apparently)
So no surprising it stings like buggery.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:58, Reply)
Is it not easier to just park closer to the shops and get a ticket?
Having to fork out thirty-sheets for parking like a twat is painful, but I can avoid it.

Tattoos seem somewhat permanent.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:50, Reply)
Yeah but when you're old you wear jumpers a lot so who cares.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:54, Reply)
Don't get that.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:55, Reply)
There are less perm ways of experiencing pain.
Assuming that pain give you a massive lob on. Which doesn't work for me.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:59, Reply)
You either want a tattoo or you don't.
If you don't want one yourself, I guess it's hard to understand why someone else would want one.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 29 Oct 2011, 22:02, Reply)
I wish my mum understood that, she gets massively upset whenever she sees mine,
I'm 29 years old ffs.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 22:04, Reply)
Well, if she'd known you were going to turn out like this
she might have picked out a better one.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 29 Oct 2011, 22:08, Reply)
ha, she should have traded me in for a black baby

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 22:10, Reply)
Black is teh new black

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 29 Oct 2011, 22:11, Reply)
the is the new the

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 22:12, Reply)
I have a permanent case of gonzism when it comes to typing a 'th'

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 29 Oct 2011, 22:14, Reply)
I started his care package today,
Smores pop tarts so far.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 22:16, Reply)
Rather than using bepanthen or similar they use these "burn sheets" which cover the skin in a film
whilst allowing it to breathe. Day 3 and still no scab which is bloody amazing.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:46, Reply)
When I finally get round to it, I'll look them up on eBay.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:47, Reply)

I'll find the real name on the box in a bit.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:54, Reply)
Fucking hell. Man up and pour some whiskey on it or turps.
Sod it, do both then drink what's left. Don't even make a sound or even wince. Do it in front of people then turn to them a go "what?" all cool like.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:53, Reply)
Pissing about online and the X factor is on.
Wow, winner over here.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:26, Reply)
*Welcomes the /talky shut in back to the world of the OT shut ins*

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:28, Reply)
*parts cheeks to show b3ta bumhole*

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:30, Reply)
*Backs away slowly*

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:35, Reply)
*Before taking a massive run up! I'm going in dry!*

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:36, Reply)
Don't worry chief, it's self lubricating.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:36, Reply)
That is almost as modern as a Japanese toilet.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:41, Reply)
Just had it installed.
On a curious sidenote, I work partime as a Japanese toilet.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:44, Reply)
Alexandra Burk is a cunt amongst cunts isn't she?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:30, Reply)
She's a dullard on the show made for dullards.
She's a picture girl for the yawn brigade.
"This is Alexandra Burke. She was born with no pesonality but has managed to find a niche boring chart show viewers to tears. Please donate as little as £5 pounds a month to help the many people out there with this crippling condition. Thank you."
The X Foundation.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:34, Reply)
As a lifelong sufferer of this condition
I'm glad to see something finally being done about it.

*awaits handout*
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:43, Reply)
Gawd bless you sir! *holds out flat cap, only for Cowell to burn it with a flaming 100 quid note and laugh*

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:47, Reply)
Fucking hell. Even my dull food & baby centric life is better than discussing fucking x-factor.
Try this tinyurl.com/68q2jw2 (safe for lurkers working on in a call centre on a Saturday night).
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:37, Reply)
I have a life, it just happens to be shit.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:39, Reply)
I'm baby sitting, wife is out
but i haz wine
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:45, Reply)
Was supposed to be going out.
Everyone seems to have gone off the idea. Might just watch Fulham's rousing victory on MOTD and see if I can see my mates being idiots in the away end.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 22:06, Reply)
Good work Baz.
I was going to buy a jacket today, but changed me mind.

I'm better than you.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 22:14, Reply)
Did you also consider starting a fight with your neighbours
and running amok in a brothel?
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 29 Oct 2011, 22:16, Reply)
Is there any other way to act in a brothel?

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 22:18, Reply)
Did you ever read about the time Barry 'rented' a prostitute?
Just incase you missed it.

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1322868#post1322872
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 22:19, Reply)
HAHA! Yeah, she "did squats"
Is that the German for shit in my mouth?
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 22:23, Reply)
I didn't, but I have been tired this week.
Maybe next week B3th.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 22:18, Reply)
I'm pretty sure there are some brothels in Weston....

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 29 Oct 2011, 22:24, Reply)
Madame B3th
That has a ring to it.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 22:26, Reply)
G'night, john boy, g'night mary jane etc.
TTFFuckingN.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 22:42, Reply)
Night!

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 22:43, Reply)

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