I keep getting told off for being scruffy and rude and impatient with idiotic users.
Every year or so I get a big telling off and I shuffle my feet and bow and scrape and then a month later they tell me I'm brilliant and after that I start slipping back into being rude and scruffy again.

Still five years in and no disciplinary yet, so I'll chalk that up as a win.
( Kroney, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:20, 3 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Sounds like you're doing well.
Although my colleagues are an *ahem* unique bunch of people.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:23, Reply)

I am having some thoroughly cuntish problems today.
If my day makes me any more impatient I am going to spit the dummy in a big way. I'm getting so cross my fingertips are tingling. Anybody else get that or am I going to have to go see a psychiatrist about my emotional suppression?

Answers on a postcard.
( Kroney, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:24, Reply)

I know the feeling. This job has made me an expert at anger management.
I now manage to be angry all the fucking time.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:26, Reply)

I'd put a punch bag up in the garage or something
but luckily, I'm pretty good at letting go. By the time I get home, I'll be fine. If I get half an hour of relative peace, I'll be fine.

Unfortunately, this very rarely happens and I have spent most of today wound far more tightly than is strictly good for me.
( Kroney, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:29, Reply)

If I wasn't in rented property, I'd hook one up
I'm fine by the time I get home, it's just the entire time I'm here.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:32, Reply)

Sounds like you are due a major Bertdown
Well it's that or AIDS, sorry to be the bearer...etc.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:28, Reply)

Scruffiness is not difficult to overcome
Although I don't know what you do, I'm a big advocate of the idea that if your job isn't customer-facing a dress code serves no real purpose.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:25, Reply)

I wear trousers, shirt and shoes. That is the dress code.
The dress code makes no mention of tucking shirts in or ironing anything.

The letter of the law, Foxtrot. That's all I'm interested in.
( Kroney, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:26, Reply)

So you would like greater clarity from your employer, in short
Either a dress code that stipulates the level of presentability they keep pulling you up for, or for the aforementioned pulling-ups to cease.

As long as defiance-by-pedantry works for you, long may it continue
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:29, Reply)

If I could do this job in pants and a dressing gown
I would.
( Kroney, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:30, Reply)

wouldn't we all.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:31, Reply)

I have done this many a time.
Being able to work from home certainly had its perks.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:32, Reply)

er
you work in uxbridge. that's like black tie over there.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:39, Reply)

racist.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:40, Reply)

people who live in uxbridge
are hardly a race.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:45, Reply)

this is all totally fine
as long as being comfortable with how you dress is the most important thing to you. As in, don't then complain about not getting promotions and pay rises etc.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:31, Reply)

I get pay rises and bonuses, old cock, don't you worry.

( Kroney, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:32, Reply)

Old cock?
Where the hell are you from?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:34, Reply)

Judging by that, wartime London =/

( Kroney, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:36, Reply)

Cor blimey luv a duck.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:37, Reply)

Cool, then great.
I'm totally not having a go. I just know a couple of people who, having been repeatedly told to smarten up, then moan about being passed over all the time, and don't see the fucking connection.

Wasn't saying that was you at all, just registering the point.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:34, Reply)

Dress for the job you want, not the job you have
I firmly believe it shouldn't matter how well-dressed you are if you're good at your job, but some bosses are pedantic. Or cunts.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:36, Reply)

We had a dress code in the Jobcentre.
Dress trousers, shirt and tie, minimum. Good idea, because the one item of clothing you really want to be wearing is something that the clients could attempt to throttle you with when you informed them they weren't getting any benefits.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:48, Reply)

Thankfully, my job really only depends on my ability
to fix things. The excuse that we often have to spend time lugging equipment around, or crawling underneath desks, means people aren't often too fussed about our state of dress.

Besides, I'm one of those people that can, and has, made a dinner suit look untidy.
( Kroney, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:37, Reply)

This^
A tux makes me look like an uncomfortable 1980's bouncer
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:41, Reply)

I just wear a kilt and a dark Argyle jacket to black tie stuff.
bouncer/waiter problem removed.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:43, Reply)

er
since when did a kilt solve the problem of things bouncing around?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:47, Reply)

Kilts are GAY
Everyone looks a cunt in one
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:49, Reply)

I have to disagree.
And a disproportionally high percentage of ladies get all flustered over them, so you're missing out there.

If you don't want a kicking though, it helps to have enough Scottish heritage to justify it. Even if it is all 18th century made-up arse.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:51, Reply)

I was going to say
surely being an Englishmen living in Scotland, wouldn't wearing a kilt make you something of a target for belligerent, inferiority-complex fuelled ire?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:53, Reply)

My mother's family is Scottish
And I'm "entitled"* to wear MacDonald so, no, not really. I mean, I'd not try it in the wrong part of West Lothian, but mostly it's OK.

*in so far, as I said, as anyone is or isn't entitled to wear some colour of cloth based upon a made-up thing 250 years ago.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:56, Reply)

It does seem an awfully odd thing to get annoyed about
That said, I was at a wedding last year where the one chap who'd turned up in a kilt was enduring endless brickbats for doing so. Attempting to explain himself in the most cut-glass English accent in Norfolk was doing him no favours.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 14:02, Reply)

"because it legally gives me the right to carry a fairly tasty fucking knife, old boy"
usually works for me.

Although there's no edge on the blade of my sgian, but they don't know that.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 14:04, Reply)

That's what Ballroom needs;
taunt-preventative knife crime
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 14:07, Reply)

"and what do you call this one?"
"oh, this is the switchblade Tango"
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 14:08, Reply)

I like this

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 14:11, Reply)

This, a bit
although it's boys in waistcoats and/or suits that do it more for me. You have to have the right kind of legs for a kilt otherwise it looks lame.
That said, you have to have the right kind of physique for a waistcoat, I suppose, otherwise you look like a bank manager...
(berk, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:53, Reply)

Wasitcoats? Tailsuits?
There's a Ballroom competition in Birmingham on the 13th that you should check out
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:55, Reply)

Pretty much everyone looks a fucking tool in tails.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:57, Reply)

There's a video of me on Friday night says categorically otherwise
If I may offer a compromise; "everyone looks a tool in tails unless performing a strikingly impressive Ballroom dance"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 14:01, Reply)

hmmm.
hmmmm. I might also allow "...and when caught by a brief gust of wind which makes it look like they've just released the underpant equivalent of hurricane katrina"
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 14:02, Reply)

well, let's see it, then

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 31 Oct 2011, 14:02, Reply)

Should be on YouTube soon
Links will not be posted on b3ta, but I'll make sure you and certain select others* get it darling.

*Probably just you if I'm honest
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 14:03, Reply)

*feels special*

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 31 Oct 2011, 14:03, Reply)

just google
"stupendous quenderism" and that should get you there.

only joking darth. I'd probably be mildly interested to see it. Need to maintain the illusion of benderism to keep Swipey off the scent, of course.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 14:06, Reply)

I'll see how unkind I'm feeling once the video goes up
As long as you can promise me you won't spend the whole time ogling the missus

EDIT: Hang about - you're proposing to throw Sipey off the scent by pretending to be a bender? Didn't work for the last chap
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 14:08, Reply)

A good suit can make most people look A LOT better

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:56, Reply)

Well, obviously
you can't polish a turd but you can cover it in glitter
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 14:00, Reply)

it doesn't.
it does, however, prevent you looking like a bouncer, but of course you knew that.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:49, Reply)

ME?
i am batting my eyelashes in total outrage at whatever you are implying.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 14:00, Reply)

This^
Until we start doing video conferencing, rather than normal phone calls. I'm always suited and booted when visiting customers
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:27, Reply)

I'm smart as they come Monday to Thursday as we have a similar dress to code to that described by Kroney above
and I figure if I have to dress nice, I might as well do it right.

But then Friday we can wear whatever we like, making a mockery of the other four days.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:30, Reply)

Same in ours

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:34, Reply)

Don't get it myself
Surely a rare "we've got customers coming in, dress nice everyone" day makes more sense? Why do we need to dress up four days out five?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:35, Reply)

I'm guessing that on the dress-down day
You come in looking EVEN MORE FABULOUS than the other four days?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:40, Reply)

I am the best-dressed man on my whole floor
Make of that what you will
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:42, Reply)

you work in an all-female office?
or convent?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:48, Reply)

Is it really that difficult to believe that I might have an interest in fashion?
Me? Really?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:50, Reply)

what happens if customers come in on a friday?
these questions must be answered...
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:49, Reply)

I just sneezed so hard and so unexpectedly that snot flew out of my mouth

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:51, Reply)

shitty stick.
that is all.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:52, Reply)

Honestly, it was like something out of X-Men

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:56, Reply)

Ian McKellen?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:59, Reply)

I meant specifically the bit where Toad spits that goo into Jean Grey's face towards the end
OBVIOUSLY
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 14:03, Reply)

Stops the customers, I suppose

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:53, Reply)

arseless chaps and a gip mask, then?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:36, Reply)

Gip is a difficult commodity to come by
unless you have an elderly relative whose joints give them a lot of it
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:38, Reply)

is that to catch the vom in, then?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:38, Reply)

I appear to have a broken "m" key.
Honest.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:40, Reply)

uh
huh
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:40, Reply)

Morten Harket's less successful duosyllabic 80's pop group

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:43, Reply)

*CLICK*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:48, Reply)

NICE.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:51, Reply)

Also;
no, spandex and sequins. Look who you're asking
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:38, Reply)