Fucking hell! What has happened on here?
How are you all? Keeping well?

I discovered after a couple of days in Amsterdam that I am a complete lightweight and am getting old. What age related issue have you discovered about yourself recently?

Alt: CITF - Quentin Oftiweak or Personality Horse?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 11:38, 99 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I had to get up at night to have a piss
I had been drinking heavily though.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 11:39, Reply)

Age related. Deffo.
At least it's not two and three times!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 11:42, Reply)

It's when you have a piss and then get up that you know you are in trouble

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 11:43, Reply)

Ah, hello old boy.
Couldn't handle the weed, eh?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 11:39, Reply)

It's soooo fucking strong.
Sativa turned me in to a dribbling wreck.

How are you, old fruit? Back to battle fitness?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 11:43, Reply)

I still have a bad throat actually.
However on Monday it was confirmed that I have avoided bankruptcy so I'm feeling rather chipper.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 11:46, Reply)

Too many deepthroats recently?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 11:48, Reply)

Good lad. I'll buy you a beer.
The three finest letters in the English alphabet? IVA.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 11:49, Reply)

I think you'll find they are L, S and D.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 11:58, Reply)

Still struggling to cope with decimalisation eh Monts?
Doesn't feel like "proper money" anymore, does it?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 12:02, Reply)

Haha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 12:07, Reply)

Very good.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 12:11, Reply)

I recently discovered a single grey hair on my chest. Woe is me.
Cunt them both in the fuck.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 2 Nov 2011, 11:41, Reply)

It's AIDS sorry to be the bearer etc

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 11:42, Reply)

Oh bugger.
Never mind.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 2 Nov 2011, 11:43, Reply)

That's what got you into this situation in the first place

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 11:43, Reply)

Well no point worrying about it now then, is there?

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 2 Nov 2011, 11:52, Reply)

bearer Carrier.

apologies/compliment to whoever did this joke before
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 2 Nov 2011, 11:44, Reply)

Apology accepted.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 11:47, Reply)

imitation is the sincerest form and all that
I shall attemptt to ad " M.Boyce^tm" after any future joke steaaling
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 2 Nov 2011, 11:50, Reply)

what's CITF?
cuddles in the forest?
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 11:41, Reply)

Cunt in the fuck

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 11:42, Reply)

In a forest or wherever you like.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 11:44, Reply)

Gosh.
Violent bullies.
:(
(PERSONALITY HORSE Graham Tapes - free download album - coming soon, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 11:47, Reply)

oh i thought it was that channel with horrid henry on and that!
LOL
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 11:47, Reply)

Cwentin Is Total Failure.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 11:48, Reply)

conty is touching ferrets

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 11:49, Reply)

quentin is bert
bertbertbert.

it's getting madder and more insane. the inevitable bertdown cannot be far away.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 12:11, Reply)

I was being woken very early every morning by the need to piss.
I suspected prostate cancer, but it got better.

Alt: both of them.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 2 Nov 2011, 11:43, Reply)

Darth will check that out for you

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 11:43, Reply)

Lay on your side. Knees upto your chest.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 11:44, Reply)

Ok, take a deep breath...
...

Later, wait a minute he had a hand on both my shoulders!

/abuseofpositionrapelolz
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 11:46, Reply)

Bet he's got a right shitty arse
Layabout Che Guevara types don't wash
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 11:46, Reply)

He already has.
He pronounced me "a bit loose" which made me cry.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 2 Nov 2011, 11:45, Reply)

Stunnso! You've been away too long, we missed you...
I'd love a trip back to Amsterdam, but unfortunately parental responsibility is going to prevent me for the forseeable future. And I'm supposed to be giving up weed. Sad times.

As I age, the world becomes increasingly baffling and confusing. This is normal, I know, just look at the bewildered faces of retired people. I frequently don't get "the joke".
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 11:46, Reply)

Agreed. I look incredulously at some of these fucking people. They must think I am loopy.
5 days in Amsterdam was hard work. I'd had enough after 3 days. What a cunt, eh readers?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 11:51, Reply)

5 days may be a struggle
but it is a battle I am certainly prepared to take on.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 12:03, Reply)

3 day hangovers is one of the most recent
My failing eyesight is another. Still, I have a full head of hair, I guess.

Enjoying /talk's most recent "comedy" account invasion, are you?
( Kroney, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 11:47, Reply)

Then again, this invasion has brought in a couple of half decent accounts, just not those two.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 11:50, Reply)

i thought we were friends now :'(

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 11:51, Reply)

On whole I say it's been excellent.
Mike Woz Ere's Legless Catchphrase thing is worth a million Quentins.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 12:03, Reply)

Not particularly
They are as unappealing as Dick "n" Dom fighting over who is going to suck your cock first.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 11:52, Reply)

i love this

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 11:55, Reply)

I'm putting you on ignore now, your dumped

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 11:58, Reply)

Welcome back!
I discovered that my joints are in worse condition than they should be for someone my age, ah well.

Alt: Meh, they're both as dull, repetetive and shit as one another.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 11:48, Reply)

Well you should take more care when rolling, obviously.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 2 Nov 2011, 11:52, Reply)

Don't
My right ankle is fucked and the doc said there is fuck all I can do.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 11:55, Reply)

How'd you do that Stunned?
Fall in a canal?

I know what you mean about the weed though. went there on my honeymoon and spent most of it in the hotel room giggling at dutch cartoons.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 2 Nov 2011, 12:02, Reply)

Nah, old rugby injury that has just never been right. Too old for it to fix itsself or physio back to life.
It's the stumbling around and nearly getting run over every 5 minutes that does me. And the eating.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 12:13, Reply)

My personal proof of aging.
Sagging stomach.
Hangovers take two days to recover from.
Hating nightclubs & loud bars.
Preferring quiet pubs.
Happily staying in on a Friday night.
Tutting at youths.
Despairing for the future of mankind.
Considering an estate car for practicality.
Bewildered by what constitutes fashionable clothing.
Worrying about my pension & retirement.
Interested in the state of my lawn.
Grey pubic hair.
My cock dribbling a bit more piss after I have shaken it & put it away.
Being too tired for sex.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 11:51, Reply)

Hahahahahahaha!
Brother!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 11:55, Reply)

Oh he's 'one of us' alright.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 12:02, Reply)

The sad thing about this is that you are probably younger than me.
It gets worse.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 2 Nov 2011, 11:59, Reply)

I'm 38.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 12:01, Reply)

This makes me feel good
as I am only 2 years younger and only have the social bits that you describe and I've had those since forever.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 2 Nov 2011, 12:04, Reply)

Trust me. The rest will come.
Particularly the cock dribbling.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 12:05, Reply)

Nah, I'm immortal me.
I've always looked a few years younger than I am I'm starting to suspect that I actually am a few years younger than I am.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 2 Nov 2011, 12:07, Reply)

I'm 41 and it gets worse.
Although I can't say I've noticed the cock-dribbling. Perhaps that's the next stage - not even noticing the massive stain on the front of the Ys.

Fuck.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 2 Nov 2011, 12:09, Reply)

I went to the doc re virus two weeks ago
and was proclaimed to be in rude health. Blood pressure fine, respiratory system AOK, I am technically half a stone overweight but have the same waist measurement as I did at 18.

I am fucking IMMORTAL.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 12:01, Reply)

You are fucking Lemmy AICMFP

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 2 Nov 2011, 12:03, Reply)

Don't tell Lusty, she thinks we're 'exclusive'.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 12:04, Reply)

Yeah, just try to pretend you aren't flattered by the comparison.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 2 Nov 2011, 12:06, Reply)

He would you know, given half a chance and some Jack Daniels flavoured lube

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 12:05, Reply)

Wouldn't we all.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 2 Nov 2011, 12:05, Reply)

you could hold onto his warts for purchase

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 12:06, Reply)

Going "Ooooow" every time I get up from the sofa after half an hour.
And not being arsed to spike my hair up even though it only takes five minutes.

Alt: Quentin. By a country mile.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 2 Nov 2011, 12:12, Reply)

Old man noises ftw.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 12:13, Reply)

I'm telling you, my lower back is ruined.
I get excited when I go to a pub and realise that there is adequate seating.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 2 Nov 2011, 12:15, Reply)

I had the L1, L2 & S1 vertabrae fused with metal.
So the inside of my lower back looks very similar to this


( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 12:19, Reply)

Nice.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 2 Nov 2011, 12:19, Reply)

Don't worry DG, if I have had a drink I make the noise when I sit down too.
Spikey hair? Get you, trendy.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 12:16, Reply)

trendy too old for hair products.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 12:20, Reply)

I think this is one of the few benefits of getting older
Greater apathy about silly things like hair.
In my twenties I used to worry about what my hair looked like and spend more time than was really sensible trying to make it do things it wouldn't do. Now, in my thirties, I really don't care about it and often don't even look in the mirror before leaving the house.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 12:35, Reply)

I've had spiky hair for years.
Up until recently I had a mohawk-type cut. The older I get the more reticent I become to acknowledge my advancing years. As someone I worked with recently thought I was in my mid - late twenties, I see this only as a good thing.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 2 Nov 2011, 12:22, Reply)

Too right.
Carry on.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 12:25, Reply)

For example, at this very moment I am pretending I am under twenty years old, by being unemployed.
It's a fucking riot.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 2 Nov 2011, 12:27, Reply)

I'm pretending to be a young person by trying to function on barely 2 hours sleep
I've already eaten a whole packet of Bourbon biscuits.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 12:30, Reply)

How was Noo Yoik?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 2 Nov 2011, 12:31, Reply)

It was brilliant
we had a really great time. And we had breakfast with Jerry Seinfeld.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 12:32, Reply)

did you manage to do everything you had planned?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 12:33, Reply)

Yeah, with the exception of finding the firestation they used in Ghostbusters.
But I did go and see the building Led Zepplin used on the front cover of Physical Graffiti.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 12:40, Reply)

When I was in LA I saw the diner they used in Supeman II.
Sadly, there was no redneck covered in food at the end of the counter.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 2 Nov 2011, 12:51, Reply)

We didn't get time to go and see the diner from When Harry met Sally either.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 12:54, Reply)

yeah, well, there's a table in pontis at liverpool station with a plaque
saying it is where "mission impossible" was filmed. and i've walked past it. so there.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 13:01, Reply)

Woo.
Actually with him, or just in the same room?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 2 Nov 2011, 12:35, Reply)

Just the same room
but then walked past the window so I was only about 2 foot away from him at one point.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 12:38, Reply)

Commiserations.
Did you get to meet K?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 2 Nov 2011, 12:36, Reply)

Most of the time I feel quite young and it's only when I look in the mirror that I'm reminded that I'm not.
Obviously I can't do drink and drug benders anymore but that's no great loss.
( girlinthehole, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 12:50, Reply)

I have neither the stamina or funds to go out more than maybe once a week
how I managed to go out three times a week without fail when I was 17, I'll never know.
Everything sags but I still get ID'd in the supermarket, so I guess it's not all bad.
(berk, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 12:56, Reply)

Bloody hell Berk, I was living it large at thirty. You can't be past it yet.

( girlinthehole, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 13:02, Reply)

Oh don't get me wrong, I can party with the best of them
I was bitterly disappointed at the last bash when everyone left, I was hellbent on staying out to dance and drink some more.
I just can't do it every week.
(berk, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 13:03, Reply)

You are still but a child young berk.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 2 Nov 2011, 13:05, Reply)

It was 2:30 in the morning
that's quite late you know.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 13:06, Reply)

Haha, was it really?
I had no idea. I really was not ready for it to be hometime at that point.
(berk, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 13:13, Reply)

They stopped serving at 2
kicked us out at 2:25. Then we all hung around outside for 10-15 minutes before drifting off.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 13:24, Reply)

i'm much more hardcore now than i was in my 20's
does not bode well for the old folks home.

alt: they can C each other ITF. bert -v- baldmonkey in an epic meltdown of weird mad pointlessness.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 12:57, Reply)

I'm on board with the sagging stomach and dribbly winky
No grey pubes yet, but elsewhere they advance inexorably. Although now I'm wondering how I would go about exoring something. Does anything ever advance exorably?

Also I'm more easily distracted these days.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 13:02, Reply)

sorry, what?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 13:07, Reply)

Dribliuinci
Played in midfield for Italy in the late 80's. 5 caps, 1 goal.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 13:10, Reply)