Have Cunt Horse and Pantypad Leak gone?
Good.

Fucking shitcunts.

So, what sexy stuff have you virgins been up to? I saw a disinterested man having sex with a disinterested woman, in a booth, for €1 per 20 seconds. Best €2 I ever spent.

Alt: Clotted cream fudge or toffee?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 15:54, 89 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Got a snog last night, that's about all for this week so far.
Alt: Toffee, fudge makes me feel ill.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 15:55, Reply)

Some hot snogging action, eh?
Was she handcuffed/inflatable?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 15:56, Reply)

Nope, she was human, and not drugged/drunk/impeded in any way.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 15:57, Reply)

and the white stick barely even got in the way!
*rimshot*
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 2 Nov 2011, 15:58, Reply)

Gahh, fuck you.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:00, Reply)

You might want to note that this is the reason no one else has taken the bait and started talking about their sex lives.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:06, Reply)

I got a kiss, it's hardly boasting about anything.
The question was asked, I answered. Let's face it, Al, Rory & Monty have spoken more about my sex life than I ever have!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:07, Reply)

I think everyone on here
has commented about your propensity for munchy boxes
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:15, Reply)

Exactly

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:16, Reply)

Her lack of a sense of smell was an added bonus.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:01, Reply)

How old?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:00, Reply)

74.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:01, Reply)

21

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:02, Reply)

Not you, her

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:03, Reply)

She's 21, I'm 23

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:04, Reply)

And in advance
+stone
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:04, Reply)

Giving you the combined age of one adult.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:05, Reply)

Sedated

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 2 Nov 2011, 15:57, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1416122
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:00, Reply)

Damn you to hell.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:08, Reply)

Alt:
Toffee, there's a reason 'toffee packer' isn't a euphemism for gay.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 2 Nov 2011, 15:57, Reply)

Good point.
I should really stop all that uphill gardening.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:00, Reply)

Also, is it time to clean out your chutney cabinet, in time for Christmas?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:01, Reply)

Already have, old boy!
*twiddles mustache*
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:07, Reply)

Alt: Neither. Savoury food is much better. Such as Dolcellate, with water biscuits, celery on the side and a large glass of port.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:00, Reply)

Alright Battered
I don't know why your food always sounds so tasty
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:02, Reply)

Because it is always unhealthy and you are on a diet?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:05, Reply)

Quite probably
I've eaten the same stuff for too long
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:09, Reply)

Alright? It's only because I am a fat glutton who enjoys food too much.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:05, Reply)

Had Fillet Steak (blue, of course) in a Dolcelatte Sauce the other day.
With roast veg and roast potatoes.

It was one of the finest things I have ever nommed.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:02, Reply)

Whilst I'm aware of why people enjoy their steak blue, I just can't stand the stuff.
I'm not a heathen who wants it rock hard on their plate, I'm starting to get closer and closer to cooking my steak rare, but the idea of it being cooked that little just horrifies me.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:04, Reply)

Hahaha.
When the blood started bleeding into the sauce......... Lush!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:05, Reply)

^ this ^

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:05, Reply)

You know, I often get you two confused
I now know why.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:07, Reply)

Set your faces to battered

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:09, Reply)

Batter your face to Stunned.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:10, Reply)

I like this.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:19, Reply)

I don't - it is not helping with my confusion at all

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:21, Reply)

Set your faces to battered?

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:10, Reply)

Ah mindpiss.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:11, Reply)

Blue cheese + rare red meat = WIN

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:08, Reply)

And roast potato?
I mean, ROAST POTATO?

If there is anything finer then I haven't eaten it.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:12, Reply)

Roast potatoes are excellent if done in goose or duck fat. Any other way just isn't as good.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:13, Reply)

I assume you mean potatoes roasted in the entrails of some smallish animal
For it to fit your criteria properly?

Edit: or what he said ^
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:14, Reply)

Too right.
Or dripping. Not as crispy but they taste of beef fat. Awesome.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:19, Reply)

Which of you do you think will have the massive coronary first?
You're both about the same age, right?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:23, Reply)

Yes.
Prolly me. I already take medication for this shit.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:24, Reply)

Either way, you'd probably both be grateful to get past 50

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:25, Reply)

I do eat quite healthily. Apart from cooking big meals at the weekend.
I also have a weakness for a decent fry-up - I have one at least once a week.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:30, Reply)

Make sure you have one for Stunnso when he goes
Perhaps you might see 60?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:32, Reply)

I smoke 30 a day, so probably 52.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:33, Reply)

I smoke 10-15 a day when alcohol is not involved.
Quit that and I will add 10 years to my life.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:41, Reply)

It may be savoury but my language skills detect that translating as "sweet milk"
I'm with you on the savoury thing though...
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:04, Reply)

You're correct it does mean that. Still lovely cheese though.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:07, Reply)

I'm beginning to think it'll take a modding to get rid of them.
They're more persistant than thrush.

Seeing as it's been so shit on here during school hours this week, I've managed to get a surprising amount of work done. I suspect the witless twosome either are, or are paid by, our collective employers.

Alt: Can I not just have a bit of both?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:02, Reply)

If one moans to the mods one sounds a bit of a cock. I agree though.
Alt: 'Course, love.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:04, Reply)

Does gazzing mods actually work? I've never done it.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:04, Reply)

It does seem a bit of a whiny baby thing to do
but this is getting beyond a joke.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:07, Reply)

I just find them dull
Quentin repeatedly going on about my Mum was rather tedious.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:08, Reply)

i'd go on at your Mum...etc

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:10, Reply)

And even that is funnier than anything he said

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:11, Reply)

It's not on.
When bobby was talking about somebody's kids, we all but kicked his balls in round the back of the bike sheds. This twat is just getting lolignored.

And it's really not even funny.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:15, Reply)

Yeah but these two are hoping for us to get pissed off at them, aren't they

( Kroney, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:20, Reply)

Of course.
And when you bite, then they really start to be cretinous little cunts.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:22, Reply)

No, they're cretinous little cunts to start off with.
If thjey're not teenagers, then they're definitely a little subnormal.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:25, Reply)

I don't care, If it actually did any good I'd be happy to take credit
but the question is would it work?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:08, Reply)

It wouldn't work, they would just come back with a different account
The best thing is to just ignore them, they're just a couple of attention whores: the Katie Prices of b3ta.
(TheColonel, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:30, Reply)

Plus the mods would probably say to use your ignore button

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:32, Reply)

This is all very true
*wanders to to take a contract out on baldmonkey and whoever quentin is*
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:36, Reply)

I woke up half hour ago.
Downloaded Football Manager last night, went to bed around 7am. I might uninstall it.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:05, Reply)

I'm playing Deus Ex at the moment
I didn't get to bed until 3, it's ridiculously addictive.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:05, Reply)

It's not like either have jobs though, is it?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:09, Reply)

I do
Was absolutely shattered this morning
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:10, Reply)

10pm beddy-bye-bo-bos for you my lad.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:13, Reply)

Nah, I tend to head to bed at about 1am usually
Any earlier and I still feel wide awake when I'm in bed, making it difficult to sleep.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:16, Reply)

Try having a warm bath, a whisky and a wank before bed.
Or Temazepam.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:19, Reply)

Or And
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:20, Reply)

And cheesy steak.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:21, Reply)

*holds hand up guiltily*
I've never had proper cheesy steak, the closest I've come to it is the one they serve in Subway.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:26, Reply)

Oh mate. It is NOT the same.
Have you had calves liver?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:47, Reply)

I can't stand liver

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:57, Reply)

with roast potatoes

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:27, Reply)

I only drink whisky with ginger, and I can't stand baths
I always shower.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:25, Reply)

That leaves wanking and temazepam then

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:27, Reply)

No access to drugs, and why should that be restricted only to bedtime?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:32, Reply)

So just go with the drugs and masturbation.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:28, Reply)

In your own time old man

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 16:29, Reply)

Meh!
Alt: Fudge. At my age I have to be careful with my teeth.
( girlinthehole, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 18:22, Reply)

Why not
Take them out before you start eating it?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 2 Nov 2011, 18:44, Reply)