OCD, chronic pedantry, geekery pokery, encyclopaedic music knowledge,
frightening ability to recite whole episodes of classic comedy shows, thinks regular facepalming is healthy for a relationship, keeps CDs in alpahabetical order, smells of mint and manliness, looks out for dogs and tramps and gets inbetween me and them. Apparently.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:38, 3 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Ha ha your ideal man is an autistic freak!

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:39, Reply)

the ex
told me that he once seriously pissed off his previous gf because she had been mugged a couple of nights before and was v scared walking through the estate where her flat was. he was supposed to be protecting her, but found a cat, and simply refused to stop stroking it and walk her home.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:40, Reply)

Haha the cunt!
My mum locked my dad out with a rabid dog on one of their dates.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:42, Reply)

lovely
reminds me of my friend's story; choosing her engagement ring on hatton garden, the shop next door gets a smash and grab raid. so immediately alarms go off and cages crash down etc. this guy starts banging on the door begging to be let in from the street, screaming: LET ME IN, THEY'VE GOT GUNS OUT HERE!

he had happily left his fiancee standing in the street. i hope she dumped him!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:48, Reply)

You told that one when you were being all negative and unimpressed with engagements.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:49, Reply)

oh yeah
it's not so much engagements, it's more men in general. i mean, take last night as just one example:

boy 1 - the ex. see above.
boy 2 - we've been on one date. the second is not for another 2 weeks because my life is so stupidly full of shit. and yet he thinks it's ok to send hundreds of texts a night saying things like "can't believe your slots are all so full"
boy 3 - the bedshitting ex thinks it's ok to ask me to come over in a leather skirt and no pants because his mum has just died and his wife is away this weekend. i haven't even seen him for 4 years. and i don't even own a leather skirt.
boy 4 - this is a direct quote: "your line about the british military fitness was suitably amusing. perhaps a quick drink to see if we can still make each other laugh would be a good idea?" er. are you asking me out, or giving me a 5 minute audition for the comedy club?

there must be some normal ones out there, surely?!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:53, Reply)

boys are stupid

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:58, Reply)

"can't believe your slots are all so full"
HAHAHAHAHAHA
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:59, Reply)

honestly, for a guy who writes for a living
his efforts at trying to get the text chat to turn filthy are transparent and pathetic. i take great delight in pretending not to know what he is on about.

why is it so much easier to play it cool when you don't care, eh??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 20:02, Reply)

There are, but they'll have paired off by now.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 20:10, Reply)

^this

( girlinthehole, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 20:15, Reply)

meh
at least half of them will split up again. won't make them any more normal!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 20:16, Reply)

face it swipe, it's got to be the bedshitter
an unfortunate shart is almost more forgivable than what 2 and 4 are coming out with.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 20:24, Reply)

i think it's got to be celibacy or lesbianism

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 20:25, Reply)

Yes, but from what else we've heard
the bedshitter WAS an unfortunate shart. So he's no better than the other options.
(berk, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 20:29, Reply)

he is also a married skank!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 20:34, Reply)

he sounds like a proper old-fashioned cad
I bet he drives a Jag.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 20:41, Reply)

Haha!

( girlinthehole, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:42, Reply)

god get a fucking room

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:40, Reply)

they can have this one
i need something to get me off this sofa before my arse actually melts into it.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:42, Reply)

what
are you pissed?
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:43, Reply)

no, fucking hungover, rosie

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:46, Reply)

Fuck off I haven't said anything nice for ages.
He might see it and buy me some perfume.
I'm using Impulse here!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:44, Reply)

gay

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:45, Reply)

I knew you'd be there, mocking me.
I'll get the podkas out if I have to. I've got no perfume.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:47, Reply)

id fucking disown you mush, one podka and youre gone

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:49, Reply)

"Like what you smell?"
That's Impulse.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:50, Reply)

You know what, I'm so fucking dense sometimes, I was thinking what the hell are you talking about, fucking podkas...
... is that a name for some rank generic polish vodka or something? Alright then, not being funny, little bit racist (very little), saying a cheap alternative to vodka would be polish vodka called podka..... OHHHHHHH, VODKA COKE, KNICKERS.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 20:02, Reply)