Cor Blimey, look at the personailties on THAT one.
Ok, we've done the whole "What do you go for?", in a prospective partner, thing 100s of times, and it always goes towards "nice eyes" or "nice teeth" or "a shiney coat".... But here is a slight veriation on it, personailty wise, what does it for you?

What sort of thing could you spend hours and hours in someone's company where it only feels but a moment?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 15:28, 239 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Inspired by Kirsty Allsop.
I like the 'english rose' thing, someone who's good at crafts and making or baking things, . Someone who is kind and caring, that's a big plus. A good laugh is great, someone who laughs at ovbously funny stuff but also at the not so ovbouse. A good sense of humour is great. I also like a bit of oompth, someone to inspire me to do things, like go to weird local art fairs and stuff like that.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 15:31, Reply)

I like people who have an opinion.
The 'I don't mind' answer annoys me.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 15:40, Reply)

I like someone who can call me up on being a twat when I'm being a twat
and someone smarter than me. So pretty much everyone really, I hate girlie girls and whingers.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 15:44, Reply)

Is that why you spend time on here, you TWAT.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 15:46, Reply)

are you trying to chat him up?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 15:47, Reply)

No Captain. I'm not.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 15:50, Reply)

never mind
could have been the next big romance/scandal on here
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 17:03, Reply)

I'm like b3ta's resident moth me.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 15:48, Reply)

Someone lively who's a bit hard to pin down, and can't be read like a book.
So many people are so predictable and transparent they're practically machines.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 16:24, Reply)

it's hard to say, but it's amazing when it happens
mind you, i got a bit freaked out the other week when i met a friend of a friend and we got on really well. then i found out she had told the mutual friend that she wished i had been a guy and that it had been a date...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 16:31, Reply)

Whilst I am a total sucker for a pair of pretty blue eyes
personality wise, it has to be sense of humour, intelligence and a sort of cheekiness. I go weak at the knees for a guy who can be mischievous, especially if he can pair it with a nice cheeky grin.
(berk, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 16:59, Reply)

Oh man, I just called someone a prick on the way home from the shops.
It was in one of those little mobile phone shops that corner shops seem to have these days, you know, the shitty ones with phones from the 90s (or if they're from this decade, they've blatently been knicked). He was on the phone chatting to his mate or family or whatever, he asked me what I wanted so I said I wanted a screen protector for my phone, and he's still on the phone, then gets out a load of protectors and starts flicking through them one at a time, it took him about 5 seconds per sheet. He didn't even pause once when speaking, after about 4-5 minutes, I'm all like "Sorry, are you going to serve me or talk to your mate?" and he's like "I'm getting it ! god !' and gets back to his phone call, idiolly going.

He then gets out one for another phone, and I had the following conversation (between each one he was talking on the phone)

"That one is too small",
"No, it's the same phone with a different name",
"No it's not, they're completely different",
"I think I should know, I work in a phone shop, it's the same thing.... do you want it or not?",
"It's too small",
"Do you want it or not?",
"excuse me?"
"I said, do you want it or not?".
"Nice customer service you've got there....Prick".
*gets my bags and walks off*

I got have a mind to to put in an anon call to the police to say he bought a stolen phone off a mate.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 17:03, Reply)

what a prick

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 17:07, Reply)

Innit.
But on the plus side, Gonz posting that reminds me that the new series of Phone Shop starts this week.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 17:08, Reply)

Beggers can't be choosers Gonz : (

( girlinthehole, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 17:06, Reply)

*Waves*

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 17:07, Reply)

*punches wall and mumbles something about football being rubbish*

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 17:08, Reply)

Bristol City won at home for the first time this season of Saturday Baz.
I'm happy.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 17:09, Reply)

Baz I've met an American girl who is a fulham fan. She used to be a season ticket holder

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 17:10, Reply)

Congratulate her that she isn't one any more.
Also Yanks aren't welcome at Fulham.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 18:02, Reply)

she still is she went out to watch the game today, she is part british.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:29, Reply)

christ
wasn't there enough wall punching shit on talk last week?!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 17:21, Reply)

Hi hon!
Had a nice weekend?
( girlinthehole, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 17:19, Reply)

Lovely thanks.
I'm being good by not going out so much.

I reckon I've saved about a grand in the last couple of months by going out less, and spending less when I'm out.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 17:26, Reply)

What are you saving up for?

( girlinthehole, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 17:28, Reply)

A new liver.
Nothing in particular, but if/when the contract I've got at the moment, I would be useful to have a few quid put aside.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 17:28, Reply)

Haha!
I may need one soon too.
( girlinthehole, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 17:30, Reply)

Doin' owt this evening?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 17:31, Reply)

Nuffin
Got the Motorhead gig next weekend though : )
( girlinthehole, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 17:43, Reply)

Woo!
Where are you going to see them?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 17:47, Reply)

Hammersmith Apollo.

( girlinthehole, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 17:50, Reply)

Are you going 'cos you are a big fan.
Or to make sure QC and DG don't get lost in the mosh pit?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 17:52, Reply)

DG isn't going. He's off to see the Sisters of Mercy on the Sunday.
I'm not a huge Motorhead fan but they're an iconic band and I would love to see them before Lemmy get's too old to carry on. Great punk support acts too.
( girlinthehole, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 17:54, Reply)

Well have fun.
I'm sure the smell of leather jackets have haven't been cleaned since they were bought in 1983 will bring back memories of clubs from yesteryear.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 18:01, Reply)

Careful now BGB, you might not be able to pick a hetrosexual Nigel Slater, but I'd hate to see you with someone who you actually dislike.
And you can look at things a bit differently at your age, you're at the age when people are starting to get devorced, DING DING, LOVE: ROUND 2. Waste not, want not.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 17:25, Reply)

To be honest I'd rather spend the rest of my days alone than end up with just anyone.

( girlinthehole, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 17:27, Reply)

my bedshitting ex had been texting me all night when i woke up this morning
i replied because he has just lost his mum, so i felt it was warranted. amongst other things he was saying that everyone he knows is either unhappily married or unhappily getting divorced!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 17:30, Reply)

Good lass, that's the way to be.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 17:31, Reply)

Is it?

( girlinthehole, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 17:33, Reply)

Totally.
I hated living with someone who made me want to go to ASDA for 2-3 hours 'cus I don't want to go home 'cus I can't face being in their company 'cus they make me feel so uncomfortable in my own home. It was a pretty horrific way to live for a good few years. I hated being in my own house, I felt like I had to ask to turn on the telly if he was reading a book in the comunial living room.

If I was fucking him I'd probably have slit my wrists.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 17:39, Reply)

Yes, it is
never doubt it for a second.
(berk, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 17:41, Reply)

Quite right too.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 17:32, Reply)

Hmmmm. Being a total girl, I have to say
'someone who makes a fuss of me', but that's probably because I've been the 'carer' for so long.

Personality-wise, I like someone clever, geeky, funny, but not too shy. it's also a massive turn-on when someone is really independent and confident, but still wants to spend time with you.

Oh, and a pulse. And a penis.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 6 Nov 2011, 17:15, Reply)

a penis isn't a personality
...or is it?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 17:18, Reply)

I don't want to narrow myself down too far.
If they have a pulse and a penis, they're fair game.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 6 Nov 2011, 17:20, Reply)

fair point
wait a minute....you're not one of us single otters - you're not allowed to talk like that!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 17:22, Reply)

Am I not allowed to join in, then?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 6 Nov 2011, 17:29, Reply)

perhaps
but you're not allowed to whinge about being unable to attract men or ever get any sex
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 17:32, Reply)

*sits in corner looking sad*

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 6 Nov 2011, 17:35, Reply)

oh, now I feel bad

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 17:40, Reply)

You do remember marriage, don't you?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 6 Nov 2011, 17:45, Reply)

nope, not at all
it was 2 years yesterday I moved out of that house and I refuse to acknowledge that time.

*lies*
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 17:46, Reply)

They have a mind of their own, does that count?

( Kroney, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 17:22, Reply)

I think some are more sophisticated
than ones in heads
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 17:33, Reply)

Hahaha, I guess it is for some people.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 17:32, Reply)

I donno what you mean by making a fuss, do you mean someone who's enphusastic to see you? Someone who goes out their way to do nice things that you don't expect?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 17:36, Reply)

She just wants someone to take her on the pier

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 17:37, Reply)

on up
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 6 Nov 2011, 17:39, Reply)

No peirs 'round here.
Loads of parks with golden leafs falling down into big piles with squirals gathering nuts exciting dogs with their piss, with promises of hot chocolate laced with irish cream and Come Dine With Me followed by Law'n'Order though.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 17:41, Reply)

I also get excitable around squirrel piss

( Kroney, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 17:43, Reply)

I love creatures that gather up my nuts and hide them in their hole.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 17:44, Reply)

You know some odd people.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 6 Nov 2011, 17:45, Reply)

I have a mental image of Gonz sitting forlornly in a park
whilst waiting for somebody to help him dig his testicles out of the ground.
( Kroney, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 17:47, Reply)

Well, if we're going to disect and analise everything I say, then I think we'll be here a very long time.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 17:50, Reply)

I'm not normally somebody to poke fun at your spelling
but "analise" is a peach.
( Kroney, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 17:51, Reply)

There was one the other day that I had to read seven or eight times before I understood it.
I wish I could remember what it was. When I finally deciphered it, I lolled for ages.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 6 Nov 2011, 17:54, Reply)

i bet it was aubergine

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 18:17, Reply)

Hah, no one can spell that word right. NOBODY.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 18:08, Reply)

More the latter.
It's mostly because I'm essentially a carer to a very sick person. And I tend to go out of my way to do things for others all teh time.
It would be nice to have someone do something nice for me, for a change, that's all.

The obvious exception to this is some very nice b3tans who do favours for each other and stuff. In the last year or two, I've had flowers from Blousie, chocolate from DF, and CV advice from Bobby and Jeff.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 6 Nov 2011, 17:44, Reply)

Sadly, you've yet to get a job.
So I'd hold off celebrating that advice.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 17:49, Reply)

But I have a SHINY NEW CV!
This is progress. I just need to do something with it now, so that people can see how awesome I am, and send me money.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 6 Nov 2011, 17:51, Reply)

True, but a CV doesn't smell nice like flowers, or taste nice like chocolate.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 17:53, Reply)

Yeah, but when I get my super exciting new job
I'll be able to buy ALL the flowers and chocolate!
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 6 Nov 2011, 17:54, Reply)

someone who makes me laugh and is smart
opens doors for me and likes children and dogs and reading the same stuff i do so we can talk about books and shit and someone who's got a great big fucking dick and i dont mean just length im talking about girth an all
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 17:53, Reply)

oh and nice teeth

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 17:54, Reply)

*girth highfives*

( girlinthehole, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 17:54, Reply)

long skinny cocks can get to fuck

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 17:55, Reply)

No point getting your cervix poked if you can't feel the shaft.

( girlinthehole, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 17:58, Reply)

im all grimmed out now, you have to take it too far dont you

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 17:59, Reply)

Haha!

( girlinthehole, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 17:59, Reply)

Oh, the dog thing. I forgot that. I'll say the dog thing too.
But not children. Children are fucking evil. And tedious.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 6 Nov 2011, 17:55, Reply)

nah they make you drinks and shit if youre nice to them
and fuck off round the shops and pick your crisps and fags up so long as you give them a note

you're quite obviously doing it wrong
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 17:57, Reply)

I can actually remember a time when kids could buy fags quite easily from the shops.
The world's gone mad.
( girlinthehole, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 17:59, Reply)

i got them for my nan and i didnt complain about it
lazy cunts. give them a note and send them off packing
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 18:00, Reply)

From the tim,e I was about ten, I don't think my parents washed a dish or made a cup of tea.
Slave labour FTW.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 6 Nov 2011, 18:01, Reply)

get yourself a nice quiet one
a fat one or ginger, ones whatre bullied at school no doubt, experienced in taking orders that sort of thing
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 18:02, Reply)

There were three girls in our family.
Every Sunday we had to help our mum clean the house from top to bottom and go to the launderette. I fucking hated going there.
( girlinthehole, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 18:03, Reply)

And then Monday came round, and you were straight back down t'pit

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 18:12, Reply)

Too right!
Only time off was at church.
( girlinthehole, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 18:13, Reply)

As it should be.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 18:16, Reply)

we'd work 27 hours a day
and when we got home our father'd slice us in two wit' bread knife
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 18:18, Reply)

Blousie World
www.youtube.com/watch?v=8DqvXRd64Mo
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 18:20, Reply)

No doubt you'd be in bed at 4 in t'mornin', up at 3
wit' nowt to drink but wet gravel to suck on.
( Kroney, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 18:20, Reply)

hahaha

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 18:21, Reply)

Was it The Two Ronnies?
In my head Ronnie Barker's saying that line.
( Kroney, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 18:23, Reply)

no, monty python
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xe1a1wHxTyo
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 18:26, Reply)

to be fair, though
I was brought up as a strict basilisk
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 18:23, Reply)

I'm eating candy floss

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 18:10, Reply)

i wish i had that :(

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 18:11, Reply)

Past tense now, it's gone, all gone. There is none left, which is like when you had some but ate it all, so now there is none, and you'll never taste that again until you get more.
I guess it's true, you can't have your candy floss and eat it, because I had my candy floss and ate it but now there is no more candy floss so I don't have any anymore.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 18:23, Reply)

i hope you get the shits

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 18:24, Reply)

I had the shits this morning and the resulting exhaustion put me in a coma for 2 hours.
Tigger had to wake me up all concerned, with his concerned face and concerned paw.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 18:41, Reply)

id never get this sort of looking after from my fish
not even if i got a really big one and taught it tricks
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 18:43, Reply)

Yeah but I bet your fish don't bite you on the arse

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 18:44, Reply)

only if i smear it with fish flakes and dangle it over the fucking tank

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 18:46, Reply)

Maybe I should stop that with the mackerel then

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 18:46, Reply)

you kinky bitch

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 18:48, Reply)

Who are you calling a bitch.
I'll have an internet fight with you.
(And you'll win)
I told Nana you were impressed with her knowing yoot bands from the 90s.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 18:49, Reply)

she fucking rules man

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:02, Reply)

We call that The Rosies around 'ere.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 18:49, Reply)

I'm stealing that.
*steals that for my arse. along the floor*
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 18:49, Reply)

And now I've got Sugar Spun Sister by the Stone Roses in my head.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 18:17, Reply)

I prefer Spin Spin Sugar

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 18:30, Reply)

I'd be perfect for you if I still read and liked dogs and hobbits

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 18:30, Reply)

forever alone :((((((

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 18:32, Reply)

Be careful, you're right at he age where they say that
and then go all mongy and meet some Scottish perve. ONLINE.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 18:38, Reply)

gutted

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 18:42, Reply)

ha!
turns out guinea pigs, who are scared of people walking past, sudden noises and basically anything else, are not even slightly freaked out by next door's fireworks going off about 2 metres in front of the window.

Dogs are pussies
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 18:28, Reply)

I've nearly finished me CV so fucking there.
But I'm in work tonight and tomorrow so i reckon it won't be done til Wednesday or something now.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 18:48, Reply)

I hope you've written it in Scottish.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:07, Reply)

Er.. aye?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:10, Reply)

It isn't 'Er aye'
It's Och aye
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:13, Reply)

Baws

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:19, Reply)

When sending letters of application, rather than starting them 'Dear Sirs'
A simple, 'See you, Jimmy' will suffice.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:20, Reply)

What about
"I can't wait to become Scotch in the referendum."
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:24, Reply)

Add that 'Monarch of the Glenn' was my favourite show on the tellybox and you'll be quids in.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:30, Reply)

I will also be wearing a Harris Tweed suit and a tam for any ensuing interviews

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:32, Reply)

Don't forget to make some tablet and take it with you.
They fucking love that stuff.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:35, Reply)

I fucking love it!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:40, Reply)

Far too sweet for me
but Dad loves it.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:42, Reply)

It's boss

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:45, Reply)

I think, personality wise, they have to be brunette, tall, great bone structure and read the news with a faintly disgusted tone of velvety voice.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:16, Reply)

And they need to present Antiques Roadshow.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:17, Reply)

Yes.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:20, Reply)

Humour obviously
willingness to take life easily is definitely an asset as well. And intelligence, there is nothing more depressing than getting a blank expression when you say something.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:25, Reply)

*Looks blank*

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:29, Reply)

Haha *cries*

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:30, Reply)

how are you, lovely?
i was drunkenly but truthfully going on about how good looking you are last night!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:36, Reply)

*is flattered by the lies*
I'm good thanks, how are you? Oh and the diet is working have gone down a jeans size :D
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:37, Reply)

i have achieved nothing today
due to the most epic and monumental evil hangover!

and the boy situ is still confusing, he keeps emailing and texting me. but otherwise am good...

oooh that's exciting - new jeans to celebrate!!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:38, Reply)

Ouch, a fun night out though?
No new jeans for me a) broke and b) although I've gone down in the waist and hips, my calves are still big.

:S on the boy, basically the same thing he's sending?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:41, Reply)

oh god, calves are a nightmare
you need exercises to lengthen the muscles. pilates, apparently. also stretches on the powerplate.

well, nothing has really been said about last sunday, other than that he has emailed or texted several times every single day. he basically wants to keep all the intimate stuff from the relationship and doesn't want me to see anyone else, but he also doesn't want to strap on a pair and make a go of it either. so all i can do is keep seeing other people and tell myself that at some point SOON i am going to tell him to bugger off - and mean it!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:44, Reply)

Yeah can't wear knee high boots
nothing fits.

He's being a bit of a spineless prick in this instance. Needs to MTFU
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:48, Reply)

aqua italia ones (like the shiny ones i wore to the bash)
might be good because some of theirs have a stretchy bit?

i need to WTFU and stick to my guns a bit. the problem is that we get on so so well and he's so so sweet and the sex is so so good and and and!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:59, Reply)

Even stretchy bits don't really help
I'm sticking to ankle boots for the moment.

:( it's always the way.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 20:02, Reply)

Duo boots/Clarks wide fitting
bloody expensive new but they do pop up on ebay.
(berk, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 20:07, Reply)

it's ridiculous that they are so hard to change
other bits, like your arse or stomach, respond to exercise.

or so i am led to believe!

it's annoying that he is such a hard act to follow. previous jokers have not exactly had big shoes to fill...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 20:08, Reply)

Bleedin hell lass.
I do understand the reluctance for you to let go though.
( girlinthehole, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:55, Reply)

the thing is
when i say, it's over, i don't want to see you again, he gives it about 3 days and then he is back texting/emailing. i just need to not respond!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:58, Reply)

Hehe
richly deserved though?
(berk, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:45, Reply)

hello you!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 20:00, Reply)

Alright lovely?

(berk, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 20:03, Reply)

sunday night blues
but nothing more serious than MEN and URRRRGH WORK TOMORROW!

how about you? x
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 20:06, Reply)

Oh you know
same old, same old etc.
(berk, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 20:07, Reply)

so basically
sunday night blues too!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 20:16, Reply)

Pretty much.

(berk, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 20:28, Reply)

he he hey
I'm gonna do two weeks of dust-milkshakes to make me thinner
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:40, Reply)

Dust milkshakes?
*so tired she can't tell if she is being mocked* ;)
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:42, Reply)

no, really
those ones that you have instead of real food. I'm totally falling for that shit :(
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:43, Reply)

It doesn't work
do you have a particular thing you're aiming for?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:44, Reply)

not being a fat munter

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:44, Reply)

i think it works as a quick start to give you the motivation to keep going
but you have to be prepared for the fact that you might lose 7lbs in 2 weeks, but when you eat solid food again, you may well put 2-3lbs back.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:45, Reply)

I was going to do a month or two of them after PIERBASH
but finance has dictated otherwise. I decided in that case to just go up half a stone instead.

*belms*
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:43, Reply)

I always read that as piebash
I like pies. Hence the dust-shakes
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:49, Reply)

Cambridge diet is much cheaper than Lighterlife
just so's you know. And they do work, but it is hard, and you will put weight back on (although probably not all of it) if you're not really, really careful.
(berk, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 20:04, Reply)

I haven't replied to the main question because I'm incredibly shallow and utterly looks-obsessed.
I felt the need to point that out. I didn't want you to think I was just being rude.
( Kroney, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:29, Reply)

and because you're so old now it's hard to remember what the thread was about anyway.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:31, Reply)

My trousers fell down in Sainsbury's today
because I'd forgotten to put a belt on. I can't even fucking dress myself properly anymore. It'll be incontinence next.
( Kroney, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:32, Reply)

Were they cordrouy?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:40, Reply)

You fucking spacker.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:40, Reply)

I was bending over to rearrange my basket
and I gave a young couple a severe mental scarring. Thankfully they were the only ones in the aisle facing me at the time.
( Kroney, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:41, Reply)

were you wearing pants?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:42, Reply)

Yeah, all they really got was an eyeful
of Dagenham cleavage but Christ. Embarrassing.
( Kroney, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:44, Reply)

one of my friends once
accidentally pulled down another friend's trousers and pants, in a car park right in front of a mother and her 4 year old.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:46, Reply)

lolling hard at this

( Kroney, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:48, Reply)

so were we

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:50, Reply)

how do you do that by accident??

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:48, Reply)

well he had low slung jeans
and he wanted to make a point that they'd fall down too easily. He expected him to hold on to his trousers and did not expect the pants to come down, too.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:50, Reply)

reminds me of this
best qotw answer EVER. or one of them, anyway. short and sweet!

b3ta.com/questions/heckles/post52031
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:52, Reply)

hahaha

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:53, Reply)

hoping 'rearranging your basket' is code here

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:44, Reply)

yes and me
sounds like the worst kind of prison slang
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:45, Reply)

Rearranging my plums etc

( Kroney, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:50, Reply)

True story, on friday my trousers fell down about half way down my boxers, at work, when someone called me over.
I think I got away with it.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 20:04, Reply)

Someone as good looking as me.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:33, Reply)

OCD, chronic pedantry, geekery pokery, encyclopaedic music knowledge,
frightening ability to recite whole episodes of classic comedy shows, thinks regular facepalming is healthy for a relationship, keeps CDs in alpahabetical order, smells of mint and manliness, looks out for dogs and tramps and gets inbetween me and them. Apparently.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:38, Reply)

Ha ha your ideal man is an autistic freak!

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:39, Reply)

the ex
told me that he once seriously pissed off his previous gf because she had been mugged a couple of nights before and was v scared walking through the estate where her flat was. he was supposed to be protecting her, but found a cat, and simply refused to stop stroking it and walk her home.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:40, Reply)

Haha the cunt!
My mum locked my dad out with a rabid dog on one of their dates.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:42, Reply)

lovely
reminds me of my friend's story; choosing her engagement ring on hatton garden, the shop next door gets a smash and grab raid. so immediately alarms go off and cages crash down etc. this guy starts banging on the door begging to be let in from the street, screaming: LET ME IN, THEY'VE GOT GUNS OUT HERE!

he had happily left his fiancee standing in the street. i hope she dumped him!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:48, Reply)

You told that one when you were being all negative and unimpressed with engagements.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:49, Reply)

oh yeah
it's not so much engagements, it's more men in general. i mean, take last night as just one example:

boy 1 - the ex. see above.
boy 2 - we've been on one date. the second is not for another 2 weeks because my life is so stupidly full of shit. and yet he thinks it's ok to send hundreds of texts a night saying things like "can't believe your slots are all so full"
boy 3 - the bedshitting ex thinks it's ok to ask me to come over in a leather skirt and no pants because his mum has just died and his wife is away this weekend. i haven't even seen him for 4 years. and i don't even own a leather skirt.
boy 4 - this is a direct quote: "your line about the british military fitness was suitably amusing. perhaps a quick drink to see if we can still make each other laugh would be a good idea?" er. are you asking me out, or giving me a 5 minute audition for the comedy club?

there must be some normal ones out there, surely?!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:53, Reply)

boys are stupid

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:58, Reply)

"can't believe your slots are all so full"
HAHAHAHAHAHA
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:59, Reply)

honestly, for a guy who writes for a living
his efforts at trying to get the text chat to turn filthy are transparent and pathetic. i take great delight in pretending not to know what he is on about.

why is it so much easier to play it cool when you don't care, eh??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 20:02, Reply)

There are, but they'll have paired off by now.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 20:10, Reply)

^this

( girlinthehole, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 20:15, Reply)

meh
at least half of them will split up again. won't make them any more normal!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 20:16, Reply)

face it swipe, it's got to be the bedshitter
an unfortunate shart is almost more forgivable than what 2 and 4 are coming out with.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 20:24, Reply)

i think it's got to be celibacy or lesbianism

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 20:25, Reply)

Yes, but from what else we've heard
the bedshitter WAS an unfortunate shart. So he's no better than the other options.
(berk, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 20:29, Reply)

he is also a married skank!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 20:34, Reply)

he sounds like a proper old-fashioned cad
I bet he drives a Jag.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 20:41, Reply)

Haha!

( girlinthehole, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:42, Reply)

god get a fucking room

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:40, Reply)

they can have this one
i need something to get me off this sofa before my arse actually melts into it.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:42, Reply)

what
are you pissed?
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:43, Reply)

no, fucking hungover, rosie

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:46, Reply)

Fuck off I haven't said anything nice for ages.
He might see it and buy me some perfume.
I'm using Impulse here!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:44, Reply)

gay

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:45, Reply)

I knew you'd be there, mocking me.
I'll get the podkas out if I have to. I've got no perfume.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:47, Reply)

id fucking disown you mush, one podka and youre gone

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:49, Reply)

"Like what you smell?"
That's Impulse.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:50, Reply)

You know what, I'm so fucking dense sometimes, I was thinking what the hell are you talking about, fucking podkas...
... is that a name for some rank generic polish vodka or something? Alright then, not being funny, little bit racist (very little), saying a cheap alternative to vodka would be polish vodka called podka..... OHHHHHHH, VODKA COKE, KNICKERS.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 20:02, Reply)

Seriously for a moment though...
If she doesn't like Joy Division she can GTF.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:41, Reply)

What if she wasn't great looking, but had joy division oven gloves.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:46, Reply)

jeff
why are you chatting up dozer?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:46, Reply)

I'm not. It's just you mentioned some time back that you had some Joy Divison oven gloves.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:49, Reply)

rubbish
you are trying to lure dozer into your web
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:53, Reply)

Rubbish.
Managed to sort your hangover out yet?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:58, Reply)

NO

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 20:00, Reply)

*There there*

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 20:06, Reply)

Maybe he's trying to set us up.
I will publicly state now that I am intimidated by Swipe and so could never be her woman.

Sorry bbz.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 20:22, Reply)

Lol

( girlinthehole, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:47, Reply)

I've been to a post-punk postcard fair!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:50, Reply)

Back in t'day, a great potential relationship was ruined by the lass's Muse fandom.
Though I can be disparaging and sarcastic about any musical act and their dog, I find most of them mildly irritating at worst. But Muse for fuck's sake. I'd have been less disgusted if she'd cheerfully admitted taking it up the arse from a pack of hyenas every Friday night.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:49, Reply)

Though curious as to why you'd never seen her at the zoo before
if that was the case
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:51, Reply)

gosh
that would have been one niche fetish
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:52, Reply)

Muse aren't that bad
and nor is hyena buggery
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:54, Reply)

I can't abide Muse.
That's all there is to it, I can't abide them.

That mule-faced crooning cretin Chris Martin can knack rate off an' all.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:58, Reply)

ha, "fuck you i won't do what you tell me"
has just come on my music channel. that song was sooooooooooooo naughty and rebellious when we were kids!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:41, Reply)

Going to work.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:53, Reply)

hahahahaha

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 19:56, Reply)

She's a hoot isn't she.

( girlinthehole, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 20:00, Reply)

I didn't know you could sign on at this time of night.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 20:08, Reply)

people need ham later these days

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 6 Nov 2011, 20:09, Reply)