also thought i'd quote this for y'all because it made me laugh
bemoaning my current man issues to my friend last night, her comment was:

well dude, at least someone wants to eat your minge. mine is like the fucking coffee creme in the roses tin.

hahahaha.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 9:32, 5 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Is she mixed race?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 9:33, Reply)

you have somewhat missed the point
of the unpopularity of the coffee creme as a "treat".
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 9:34, Reply)

If she is so common as to own a tin of Roses ,then I fear it is she, that has missed the point

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 9:36, Reply)

I always used to like the coffee ones. I'm a bit narked that they got rid of those
And left forty different varieties of fucking caramels in there. Christmas has been a little bittersweet ever since.
( Kroney, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 9:35, Reply)

caramels are in no way bitter
there is something wrong with your tongue
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 9:35, Reply)

Salt caramels are

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 9:37, Reply)

no they are not
they have slight tang, but they are not bitter like lemon!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 9:38, Reply)

No, Nakers. They are SALTY.
Not bitter. The clue is in the word 'SALT'.

Jesus fucking Christ man.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 9:41, Reply)

Hold on, does that mean sour and sweet are also different things?
My world has just been turned upside down.
( Kroney, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 9:42, Reply)

You are Will Smith AICMFP

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 9:44, Reply)

I was being facetious
Jesus fucking Christ man.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 9:47, Reply)

There's a dark caramel one that actually tastes like snot.
Why didn't they get rid of that one? I used to love it when Roses were around, I knew for a fact there'd be a big pile of coffee creams left over and that nobody would mind if I scarfed the whole fucking lot.

DAMN YOU CADBURY'S
( Kroney, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 9:38, Reply)

Tasty but sadly discontinued?

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 9 Nov 2011, 9:37, Reply)

urgh you are so wrong
coffee revels, roses, the works. grim.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 9:38, Reply)

I think the word you are looking for is lovely.
But then, as we know our tastes differ.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 9 Nov 2011, 9:43, Reply)

Your friend is (select all that apply)
Mad
Fat
Smelly
Ugly
Stupid
Dull
Saggy
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 9:38, Reply)

depressingly none of this is true
she's slim, attractive, clever and great fun. has had 39 first dates in the last 18 months.

men are shite!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 9:39, Reply)

39 dates with how many different men?

(TheColonel, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 9:41, Reply)

The clue is in 'first', so I'm guessing 39.
This, of course, means that she is a fickle mare with standards no man can possibly tick all the boxes for, thus resulting in her living out her days as a cat obsessed spinster in a bungalow that smells oddly of fish and lavender.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 9 Nov 2011, 9:46, Reply)

She's mental then. Must be.
Or is she on the baby clock countdown? Men can sense that particular form of wild desperation, you know.
( Kroney, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 9:41, Reply)

Some even get off on it.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 9:48, Reply)

And how many second and third dates?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 9:42, Reply)

about 9 of them led to a second date
and 4 of them to a third.

they sounded dreadful. one of them had never heard of a cheese board. surely the clue is in the question. surely.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 9:51, Reply)

That
Is a first world problem.
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 9:58, Reply)

This is your definition of dreadful?
A vbit odd to be sure, but hardly awful.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 9 Nov 2011, 10:00, Reply)

I'd offer, but I already know you'll say something along the lines of 'She's out of your league, and she'd break you, blah blah, etc'
So I'm going to guess she's mental too.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 9:43, Reply)

Men are surprisingly perceptive.
There's clearly something wrong with her.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 9 Nov 2011, 9:44, Reply)

Tick tock, I'm telling you.

( Kroney, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 9:46, Reply)

you know
what is hilarious about this, is that you men have all assumed it was the men who didn't call back.

the obvious truth is that sometimes it was, sometimes she wasn't interested.

like i said... men are shite!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 9:52, Reply)

+wo

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 9:53, Reply)

We made this assumption because you signed off with "men are shite"
The insinuation is clear.
( Kroney, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 9:56, Reply)

yes
as in, the men are so shite, she didn't want to date them!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 9:57, Reply)

The truth is somewhere in the middle here I suspect.
The ones she wanted to see again could smell the whiff of hormonal desperation about her and the rest were a load of autisms that she has so far not succumbed to.

As she gets older she will probably succumb to the 'charms' of an autism. If she doesn't then she will move onto the multi-cat-owning spinster and lavender stage.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 9 Nov 2011, 10:03, Reply)

Incidentally Swipey, are you sure that we're talking about 'a friend' here?
LOLZ.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 9 Nov 2011, 10:05, Reply)

could be worse
it could be a full tin of Quality Street
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 9:40, Reply)