quite clearly, I'm the saddest loneliest cunt here and no one has tried to set me up? wtf?
name me a funny movie or tv show you've recently seen
I'm going with MacGruber omfg hilarious
best sex scene ever right here
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nm4w_zqcVho
mildly nsfa
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 16:55, 107 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Tucker And Dale vs Evil is quite good, I saw that recently
Is MacGruber the one with loads of wrestlers in it?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 16:57, Reply)

you ever seen Kick Ass?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 16:59, Reply)

Have you ever seen Sister Act?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:04, Reply)

Have you ever seen a man die in front of you as you held his still beating heart in your sweaty, blood covered hand?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:06, Reply)

Yes.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:09, Reply)

thought so

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:10, Reply)

pretty sur ehe's liying here, such events are very rare

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:16, Reply)

Fuck me I hate that film

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:07, Reply)

The bit where he goes on the sex offenders' register is BRILLIANT though.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:08, Reply)

haha, the "lug" shot is excellent

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:09, Reply)

don't remember that bit? harvey keitel is whoopi goldbergs boyfriend and he kills someone and she goes to a convent
am i thinking of the wrong film?
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:14, Reply)

seen it quite a few times yeah, liked it when i was little all that singin and the sexy nuins
cor
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:13, Reply)

Aye, one of the best films of the last couple of years for me, that is
Same with Scott Pilgrim vs The World, I saw that again last night, absolutely excellent
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:10, Reply)

I'm in lesbians with you,
I really really mean it.
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:11, Reply)

"I have to pee on her."

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:13, Reply)

I literally find myself quoting that film in real life situations, I've had to explain myself so many times it's ridiculai

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:18, Reply)

is the mum dead in that too?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:13, Reply)

nah, it's a spoof of macgyver
it's really quite funny
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:07, Reply)

Ahh, I see
Seems like there are about 6 wrestlers in it, but they'll likely be bit-parts
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:11, Reply)

oh I see what you mean, yeah, they're in
but I haven't seen the whole film, can't ever catch the whole thing on
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:13, Reply)

Hi Krizza
I saw Capt America, it was shit
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 16:59, Reply)

really?
I want to see it soooooooooooo bad
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:07, Reply)

It is epically shit

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:10, Reply)

It's not that bad
it's just not as good as it could have been considering it's about a super soldier who can basically do anything.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:15, Reply)

did that stupid guy not rearrange another date with you :(
what a cocking cock
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:01, Reply)

he did but he cancelled that one as well
and so I gave him a polite out and he insisted he wants to meet
I just don't know!
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:07, Reply)

Once the knickers he stole have lost their "appeal", he'll be back

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:08, Reply)

he ain't seen my knickers

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:10, Reply)

well perhaps it has all just been unfortunate so far
he should want to meet you
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:08, Reply)

yeah, because I'm fucking awesome
I may only want him for his culture and sperm so I can have a brown baby.
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:10, Reply)

it's a reasonable thing to base an attraction on

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:12, Reply)

right now those seem to be his attractive qualities, as well as being smart
he's a teacher so there's something to work with
and he wants to meet with me, so there's something else
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:19, Reply)

I always have literally some lightbulbs at home
but never, ever the one I need, why is this?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:07, Reply)

because you don't buy the ones you need? I don't know, this is a stupid question

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:08, Reply)

they are all different the little bastards

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:08, Reply)

most people buy a new box of what they need after they've used the last one

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:10, Reply)

yeah, and the boxes tend to have two bulbs in, so you have left overs
BUT when another bulb blows, none of the leftovers is ever the right type.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:11, Reply)

what? 2 bulbs? we sell mega packs with like 27 bulbs in
how often are you needing to change bulbs that you can remember that they're never the size you need?
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:12, Reply)

where would I keep 27 bulbs?
and then, I'd have a bulb blow and have 26 of the wrong kind!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:14, Reply)

Buy low energy ones
I've not changed my light bulbs in over 4 years.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:16, Reply)

smug bastard, I cahnge mine as and when they blow

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:19, Reply)

how? do you think they will sell you 1 of the correct kind and 26 of the wrong kind?
are you drunk?
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:17, Reply)

ok Krizza, I really think you are missing the point
I buy a box of 27 screw in 50 watt bulbs, my halogen 15o watt kitchen bulb blows. I have 26 incorrect bulbs.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:18, Reply)

SIR I THINK YOU ARE MISSING THE POINT
it isn't incorrect if you bought it for something else, clearly not everything works the same
STOP BEING A TWATTY TWAT
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:20, Reply)

Twot

( Kroney, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:57, Reply)

Nah, he's just an epic spazz.
I'm going home K-Dizzle, I hope you're doing okay.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:18, Reply)

which 'most people' are these?
I wait for each bulb to fail until it becomes to dark to see then procrastinate about buying new ones and eventually get the wrong ones
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:11, Reply)

Bloke I know is so incredibly miserly
that he once cycled from Tufnell Park to fucking Greenwich - because he'd heard he could get some free lightbulbs. The lightbulbs weren't even new.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:11, Reply)

this is part of your repayment contract isn't it?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:13, Reply)

Yes,
every time I tell a comical anecdote my debts are reduced by ten new pence.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:14, Reply)

So your debts have actually been increasing recently?

(Bazongaloid, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:17, Reply)

I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW
I had two grown men weeping with laughter last night.


Worst gay threesome EVER.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:23, Reply)

I don't believe in ghosts.
But I have gone ghost hunting. And would again. It's fun.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:14, Reply)

If by ghosts you mean
'something you thought - and hoped - was dead, but which keeps returning to the scene of a former tragedy to endlessly repeat it ad nauseum' then yes, I do believe in Bertuin ghosts.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:16, Reply)

MONTY
this isn't a fucking ghost thread
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:17, Reply)

But would you fuck a ghost?
I mean, it's been a while right?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:17, Reply)

psh not that long

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:21, Reply)

he gets confused easy, he keeps thinking i'm someone off mongrels

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:18, Reply)

well you look like one

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:21, Reply)

YOUR THE MEANSET OF THEM ALL

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:22, Reply)

I know I'm not mean, so why do I like it when people call me mean?

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:24, Reply)

cos your from the deep south and there they like to treat there women rough

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:25, Reply)

if you could spell any worse you'd be writing this:
cos ur frm da dep suth wer dey treet wimin ruf
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:27, Reply)

bullied on english language by an american, new low reached right here, gonna go home and have a cry about it
with my girlfriend, you sad singleton loser fuckwit cunts
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:27, Reply)

I bet she's HANDsome

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:31, Reply)

Hahaha
She'll be 'made up' to see him when he comes back from autistically posting every two seconds from an internet cafe in Dorking running a really successful business that runs itself.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:41, Reply)

I have been at work for ten hours
and did not sleep a wink last night.

I tried to sign into to our online payments system as 'Monty Boyce' earlier...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:21, Reply)

loltard

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:22, Reply)

well that is your name so nowt wrong there
I miss your face Monty Montzingleton
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:23, Reply)

And I yours, oh beauteous Kristallnacht.
Are you OK?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:26, Reply)

meh
you?
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:27, Reply)

I'm so tired I am borderline retarded
but OK on the whole. Still don't know if my kid's moving to Canterbury (an hour from town) erly next year or if my ex has said it just to be a cunt. Bit disappointed in the gifts I can afford to get my little girl this year. Books and films only.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:31, Reply)

it's enough though, isn't it?
she'll appreciate whatever you get her xx
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:32, Reply)

I suppose so.
I know that you cannot measure love with gifts etc but it sucks big time having to watch my dough.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:40, Reply)

Put the thought in and the money does not matter.
Kids will be happy with an interesting stone, as long as it's the right interesting stone.

I know where of I speak, the ex's family are ridiculous for OTT gifts (he's 8 and had a laptop, and iPad and iPod touch and a Wii, for xmas he's getting a PS/3) but he loves and appreciates the stuff I get him more because I can remember what it's like to be a little boy and what's actually fun, rather than what's expensive.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:45, Reply)

I've got her some books for when she's older
(a beautifully-illustrated box set of Treasure Island, The Wind in the Willows and The Jungle Book) plus a couple of Disneys (Fantasia and some other shit), three new Spongebobs and a box set of Mr Men DVDs.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:48, Reply)

it'll be fine.
kids treasure, love, attention and just plain having time for them above all else. Try not to worry too much.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:50, Reply)

I know you're right
but I get massively judged all the time and effectively called a shit father and after a while it has an effect, even if I think that at heart I'm OK.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:52, Reply)

I know man, no one's immune.
I worry I've not got him enough no matter how much I spend, comes with the territory, just have faith in your kid and yourself.

And with that clichéd bullshit uttered I'm off to0 look for ghosties in Southwark. I hope no one but me and my mate turns up, these things are always more fun with less people.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:54, Reply)

bitches ain't shit Montz

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:54, Reply)

this by god, this
stuff is just stuff, my mate had a cell phone for her daughter at 7....SEVEN fucking years old, it's ridic.
I hate that children get all these insane expensive gifts, what ever happened to imagination?
my cousin bought her son a fucking spy watch that records video. he's fucking 5. yes, it's mega cool, but he's 5. last year I bought him...from the dollar store...a little flute, drum, harmonica and a fucking whoopee cushion and he played the fuck out of it.
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:52, Reply)

I broke Len's harmonica showing off a couple of weeks ago.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:59, Reply)

oh whoops :/

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 18:00, Reply)

Indeed.
Still I bought her that electric guitar a couple of months ago so fuck it. I was 13 before I got one and I had to pay my folks back for it.

Stingy-ass muthafuckahs.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 18:01, Reply)

wot
how old is she?
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 18:03, Reply)

fair enough but kids are easy enough to please, if she was excited about her castle I'm sure you could find
some cheap little characters for the both of you to play with, have a story time and all that, she'd love it
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:46, Reply)

www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-16158374

chumps, I can see Higgs from here, he's massive
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:16, Reply)

Well then phone Geneva this instant.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:37, Reply)

guuuuuurl if i had one id pass him on
im all about the blind dates next year

i well lol at russell howard i love him a proper bit even with his dodgy home and away eye
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:34, Reply)

if this were a facebook post I'd like it

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:45, Reply)

id like your face off

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:46, Reply)

id like you until all that was left were your knee caps

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:48, Reply)

id like the granny right out of yer

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:54, Reply)

thats a little exteme

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:55, Reply)

im single and ready to mingle :(

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 18:04, Reply)

stop ok just stop im roffling all over this shit

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 18:05, Reply)

♥
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 18:14, Reply)

I am absolutely in love with Parks and Recreation and It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia at the moment.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:51, Reply)

Have you taken up flashing or something?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:52, Reply)

He has to do something with all these coats.
So he took up a hobby. Don't judge, man.
( Kroney, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:55, Reply)

Less taken up and more a hardened enthusiast.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 18:02, Reply)

It's always sunny is hilarious.
I'm into New Girl, 2 Broke Girls and I hate my teenage daughter.
Yes. This is where it's at.
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:53, Reply)

I actually think I love Danny DeVito.
Get into Parks though, it's amazing.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 17:59, Reply)

why is it hailing?!
THis makes me not want to leave the house, but I need to. Can anyone send over a instant transporter?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 18:09, Reply)

*sends jason statham*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 18:17, Reply)

funniest film? saving private ryan
hilarious! those guys...
( boff FL OZ, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 22:55, Reply)

Community
great TV show, knocks others into a cocked hat.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 23:22, Reply)